Courtney Bromley Mini LessonThe Purpose of this lesson is - To teach my students a process of revision so that they may work

on revising there persuasive essays effectively. The essential learning goal for today is: - To learn the process of revision and a simple way to do it. To also understand the meaning behind revision. The Common Core State Standards in this lesson are: - CCSS.ELA-LITERACY.W.8.4 Produce clear and coherent writing in which the development, organization, and style are appropriate to task, purpose, and audience. (Grade-specific expectations for writing types are defined in standards 1-3 above.) - CCSS.ELA-LITERACY.W.8.5With some guidance and support from peers and adults, develop and strengthen writing as needed by planning, revising, editing, rewriting, or trying a new approach, focusing on how well purpose and audience have been addressed. (Editing for conventions should demonstrate command of Language standards 1-3 up to and including grade 8 here.) - They will be practicing both of these in the art of revision. Then when they are done they should be able to produce the type of writing common core is looking for. The process by which I will equip my students to demonstrate the essential goal for today is. - I will first explain what revision means and then I will introduce them to the idea of writing under the RADaR. I will follow Gallaghers lead by showing them a marked up version of a paper revised under the RADaR. And each of the papers after those original critiques and revisions to show them that sometimes things in an essay may completely change and that it is okay. I will then quickly revise one paragraph in front of them to show them exactly how it works. I will some of Gallaghers images and then one of my own. I will then have them divide in to their districts go through this process on one anothers papers. I will have them fill out the conferencing questionnaire that they were given in their packet for learning to how do persuasive writing and have them fill that out use it as a guide after they are done marking up and reading the papers to see if the paper was effective or not. If the partner is not able to answer or fill out the questionnaire the writer will know that they need to work on it more and what specifically to work on. o 2 minutes explaining revision o 2 minutes explaining RADaR o 6 minutes showing pre marked up drafts and the revisions made after the draft.

o 5- 6 minutes marking up page and o 1 minute explain what to do for the rest of class. Questions I may ask - What can you tell me about revision? - Do you think there is a difference between revising and editing? - How would you rewrite this sentence? - What on this paragraph do you think could be changed? Think about transitions and time management - I want to give them as much time as possible to work with each other on their papers so I will really need to pay attention to time and focus on the aspects that are most important in this process - I will follow a similar sequence to Gallaghers and make sure to transition with phrases like now that we have an understanding of thislets look at this Other considerations and ideas: - At the same time I want to make sure they have time to work I also want to make sure they know the material so I need make sure I am paying attention to my students during class to see if they are learning. - I could confer with each of them along with this process to make sure they are going in the write direction. - I could show them how to confer effectively with each other. The technology I will use is: -The overhead/project, my computer, and a PowerPoint. The following evidence will show that my students demonstrated an understanding for my essential goal today. - They make very good marks on each others essays and that I can see from each draft that they have made significant changes. I am paying close attention today to the following students today because - I am paying close attention to my student with a writing disability because anything that has to do with writing can be very stressful for them. I will make sure to make prints of everything for him and record the lesson. I will also be working on this process one on one with him. I will make the necessary marks on his paper (with precaution) and explain why I made them and how he could change it. Then I will sit with him and go through a the rest of the essay that I modeled revising in class with him and ask him what kind of marks he would make just so he can practice the process with guidance. - I am also paying close attention to my boy whose father committed suicide because I am afraid that if someone is too critical on him it might trigger something. To avoid this situation the district he will be placed in will be one with people who have a very gentle demeanor and can deliver things without being offensive. I will also make sure to remind the entire class to be constructive and positive about others papers and not to stray away from negative phrases. If I see that there is trouble I will intervene and ask nicely to look at his paper myself and move him away from his partners. Then I would give him some time to breathe and ask him if he

ready to move on or if he needs a longer break. This way he knows that I care and that I understand so hopefully he will be more open to me. If he says he is ready for me to revise I will but the first task was to get him away from the triggers. What do you want us to look for today in this lesson? - Am I explaining the process correctly? - Are my examples effective? - Am I taking all the proper precautions for my students with extra needs? - Is there another way I could work on revision for someone with a learning disability?