Lucas Wade

Newswriting
3/20/12



A woman walks into Wal-Mart with an old raggedy t-shirt on, tight black pants that were
stretching at the seams. She has with her a man, which was her husband. He looks older
with more wrinkles and black and gray course matted hair and a trucker cap to top it all
off. They had three children with them all of which were a bit on the heavyset side. Two
of them were hanging on each of her burly arms whining and pleading for whatever it
was they wanted.
Mom, can we get candy bars? says one of the children.
Just stop your yelling, she grunted. Arent you gonna make them listen?
Her husband mumbled something below his breathe, as he looked sick of dealing with
her uncanny ways for quite sometime now.
Yeah, typical shit! she lashes back.
Her eyes looked like they could pierce through the toughest of men.
They continued shopping and bickering amongst themselves like the dysfunctional family
that they were. The mother noticed some bags of chips that were a lot cheaper than they
normally were.
hehehe, she cackled like she had discovered a plot to take over the world. Her little
henchmen for children were not behaving well inside the isles of the Bloomsburg Wal-
Mart. Her husband had been walking around much like a zombie like much of the time in
the store like he was under a spell: Or just afraid of his wife.
It was time for the family to check out and they did just that, but they were very slow.
They looked like they had not been educated enough to figure out how to use the self-
check which is actually pretty upsetting.
This is the button your press, damnit! as she shoved her children back.
I want to help! I want to help!
ughh, she grunted and twisted her head and gasped, fine!
Her husband was still standing there not saying a word.
It then comes time for her to ring up the chips and when they did not ring up to the price
she thought they were, the cork came off the top. She lit up like a bottle rocket.
Who works here, damnit?!
An employee came racing up, what seems to be the problem, mam?
These chips said 2.79 and they are ringing up at 5.00!
Oh, well let me go check for you, said the sweet little Wal-Mart employee.
She came back momentarily and said someone had put them in the wrong place.
The woman huffed and puffed, but did not blow anything down.
GRR, UGHH, thats bullshit! Thats not my fault and I want them for the 2.79!
Calmly the woman replied, Im so sorry but I cant do that for you.
The woman ferociously checked out and her husband who had been in the daze the whole
time asked, what happened?
Just so the employee would here her the mother turned her head back and shouted in her
husbands ear, someone put em in the wrong fuckin spot! as they tromped out the exit
and into the parking lot.