Christine Frawley

EDL 318 C
Deb Heard

Personal Experience

Throughout the course of formal schooling, I have had years that Ive loved,
and years that Ive hated. There were classes that I couldnt wait to get to, and
others that I would come up with any excuse to get out of. Memories of school, both
good and bad, have stuck with me. Looking back, I can honestly say that above all
else, it was my connection with the teacher that had the greatest impact on my
education.
Picture this. As a third grade student, eight years old being trapped in a
classroom with a teacher that had strict rules that didnt make any sense and was
constantly yelling at her class. Now, imagine coming back from specials and your
seat no longer being behind your desk. Every child in the room is whispering about
my missing chair; some are laughing and others are too afraid to speak to even offer
a helping had. Then, my teacher Mrs. Stowe holds up my chair and yells at me for
not pushing it in before I left. She tells me its all her fault that she almost tripped
carrying a stack of textbooks. Mrs. Stowe then continues to yell at me telling me how
dangerous it is not push in my chair and how irresponsible I was putting her health
at risk. I was forced to stand in front of the whole class for the rest of the day. I have
never felt more ashamed, or embarrassed in all my life. All I remember from that
year are the terrible memories that still cause me grief and heartache to think about.
This was a year that I dreaded going to school every single day, and it is clear that I
dont remember anything of value from that year.
Then on the complete other side of the spectrum there was this high school
English teacher who to this day has been the most influential person in my life. I
walked into her classroom with confidence, and knew that to her, I was both
intelligent and valued. Her room was both a place of comfort, and a place where I
could be one hundred percent myself. Ms. Courtney demanded excellence, and had
high expectations of each and every one of her students. I was challenged everyday,
but my accomplishments were also celebrated. I grew that year as both a student
and as a person. She created an environment where all ideas were equally important
and encouraged to be explored. We covered material that was very difficult, such as
women in other countries that wear a burqa in A Thousand Splendid Suns and child
rape in Kite Runner both by Khaled Hosseini. However she took the time to bring in
a burqa, and to study the culture in both those novels to provide a rich, authentic
learning experience. She is the type of teacher that fosters learning that cant be
measured by a test. Even now, I go to her to discuss what Im learning, and to be
drawn into the safe atmosphere she created in the classroom.
I have learned from both of these teachers. Both teachers indirectly taught
me who I wanted to become as a teacher, and what type of environment and
learning I want to foster in my classroom. With the knowledge that my relationship
with teacher directly influenced how well I did, I need to take that information and
be the teacher that my students need in order to be successful. I personally pledge to
not publically humiliate my students that will in turn scar them for life. Instead, I
will create a welcoming environment, and even have a corner that students can go
to when then need time to collect themselves like Ms. Courtney did for me.
Challenges of Poverty
Educators are faced with so many challenges in the classroom. This ranges
from a very simple problem such as a child forgetting to bring in homework, or a
severe case such as a student being absent from class a majority of the time.
Specifically, there are many hardships and struggles that teachers must face daily in
the classroom that are directly related to race and poverty.
One challenge is that students do not know how to constructively release
stress and emotions or express themselves effectively. Families do not have the
funds to provide students with athletic opportunities, or art programs that would be
a positive outlet for these students. Also, since the adults in the family are typically
always working, there isnt someone there to teach them how to identify what they
are feeling and how to release tensions. This is a vital life skill that all students must
learn, but this is not built into the curriculum. Therefore, as an educator I am faced
with a decision. I must choose between following the common core standards and
providing students with experiences that teach them how to handle life.
Another challenge is trying to create an equal playing field for all students.
However, when two students are in foster care, one is living with a grandparent, one
speaks both Spanish and English at home, many have family members addicted to
drugs or in jail, and then others who have parents that read to them at night and
enroll them in after school activities, it becomes very difficult. So many of the
students in my classroom this semester have shared the hardships that they
experience and I wonder how Im supposed to get them to focus on academics when
they are worried about a parent in jail, or whether or not the student will continue
living with half siblings. It is challenging to make what the students are learning
meaningful experiences that he/she can relate to.
Another challenge that educators have to face is parental involvement in the
students education. Most of my students dont even have two parents at home.
Others are living with grandparents. Others are in foster care with many other
children. Since the family doesnt have a lot of money, parents are not home to read
to the child at night, or to help the child with his/her homework. Students need
more than just the instructional time in the classroom. Students need an adult to
dictate to them what they are doing to widen the vocabulary that the student can
use and understand. Also, most importantly, students need someone in his/her life
at home that shows them that education is important. Students must see an adult
valuing schoolwork or taking the time to read in order for the student to believe it.
As an educator, I can stress the importance or learning, but only the parent at home
can foster the childs true belief about learning.
Another challenge is the lack of confidence that these children have in
his/her ability to succeed. Students have not had the opportunity to see all that they
can do and be. Instead I hear them saying, I cant do that or we cant afford that
or want is a Christmas word. These sayings are so hard to hear as educators
because the students are not afforded the same opportunities that some of their
classmates have. To me, the one that pains my heart the most is when a student
honestly believes that he/she cannot do something. The challenge then becomes
being able to balance correcting the student and building the confidence of the
student. That can sometimes be hard to do. Students feel that they have nothing,
they arent anything, and are never going to become valuable. The students
completely miss that they already are valuable within the classroom and within the
community of the school. So then the teacher has to decide if it is more important to
build the student up or correct the student so the student is using the skills
correctly.

Over Riding Questions
This leads me to some overarching questions. How do I create an
environment that allows students to truly express themselves and learn the skills to
do so in a constructive way? How do I create equal opportunities for all children to
succeed when so many students come from home lives that distract from learning?
How do I make students truly believe that learning is important when my students
parents are not active participants in their childs education? And finally, how do I
build confidence in my students in the classroom when each child is constantly
being challenged and told how to do better? These are some tough questions that I
believe really need to be explored before I have a classroom of my own. Though all
of these questions are equally important, the one that really pulls at my heart is the
one about my students being able to express themselves. I believe every child needs
some type of positive outlet, and I need to provide that opportunity for my students.

Method of Investigation
When investigating how children express themselves, the easiest way to do
this is to critically witness how they choose to act in their immediate environment.
Does my student become over stimulated? Where does my student choose to sit in
the room? Who does my student like to interact with? How does my student choose
to answer questions? What does my student do when he/she is happy? What does
my student do when he/she is sad? These are all very simple questions that I can
ask myself when trying to figure out how my students like to express themselves
and what his/her actions are conveying.
Field will also be important because I will have the opportunity to directly
speak one on one with children to learn more about them. They can in turn tell me
what they like to do for fun, who their closest friends are, if they prefer to color or
paint, and what they are thinking through a difficult situation. Since observing
behavior will only tell me so much, I truly believe that conversations with the
individual child are the most beneficial way to learn about the child. Children are so
open and willing to tell me stories about their lives, and the hardships that they have
to deal with when they leave the school building. It then becomes my duty to help
the child process the story and what he/she is feeling. Then it is my goal to
eventually be able to provide them with an outlet for these emotions, whether it is
writing, drawing, painting, or acting out a story. I believe that this is key in helping
students be able to express themselves in a way that is constructive. However, only
through discussions with the child and giving students these resources will I
actually be able to answer these questions.
Another way to find out how students respond is to ask the people that
interact with them everyday. This includes my host teacher herself, but also the
specials teachers and the intervention specialist that works with the students.
Having more knowledge about the children than I do, especially academically, these
teachers can be such a vital resource as to how students handle particularly rough
situations, or what a student may struggle with behaviorally. Then I can also ask
what strategies, if any, these educators have tried to use to teach coping methods
and self expression and if any of them worked. If they havent, the question then
becomes why not? Since research proves that creative outlets help children process,
shouldnt all teachers provide these opportunities?
It is my goal to do as much observation and questioning of educators as
possible in my time at field. These teachers have had all types of students, and have
experience helping students from many different backgrounds to succeed. It is my
hope that I will be able to draw my own conclusions through personal interactions
with the child. I also hope to be able to analyze what the teachers around me are
doing with the students, and if their methods are the most beneficial for the child.
Also, how important is it to my teacher that self-expression be part of the classroom
environment as well as the use of creative outlets? To me, that is the single most
important aspect of a classroom. I believe that each child as an individual is more
important than what the collect group of students is as a whole.