Paul Berman

3/17/14
Period 2
Vishnu: The Wonder Chicken
Once upon a time the land was rife with hunger. Children eating grass and rotten egg
omelets, cities stricken with the aching bellies of the hungry, and most homes echo with the
ringing of malnourishment. Even the well off ones whose tummies were full were not satisfied,
food in this day had become bland, grey slops of food-paste colored to resemble something of a
former culinary dish. It tasted bland, its texture was bland, and it sat in your stomach like a
rock. Everyone was fed up with this, it felt inadequate but they could never place their finger on
what they desired. This is because it had never occurred to them that food could have a beauty,
a symphony of taste and a magnitude of texture and moistness. The elderly reminisced on the
times when food was a beauty, an art. But those folks were dying out and came off as
delusional old geezers to the rest of common society.
One day a beam of light shot down from the sky and burned a giant whole in the earths
crust. In a giant display of light and heat. Out of the massive crater and flames emerged the
most graceful chicken the world has ever seen. Its feathers shined off its golden coat with white
tipped feathers while its crown and beak shimmered ruby red. It stood before the people of
earth, under the eyes of humanity it peers over the human population and with one absolutely
magnificent GWAKKKKKKKKKKK everyone knew; It was Vishnu the savior of the palette, the
iron chef, the arbiter of taste buds, an albatross of hunger.
Vishnu immediately began laying eggs left and right, instantly hatching into beautiful
creations of breakfast foods. Almost inexplicably were plates full of bacon, sausage, hash
browns, pancakes, Belgian waffles and toast to name a few. Beautifully full plates of eggs
spouted from the eggs. Eggs were scrambled, over easy, hardboiled, well done, sunny side up,
deviled, stuffed, and in omelets stuffed with other spices and breakfast meats. And it was good.
Vishnu was happy with his creations. He had restored what was once forgotten, the people
across the world rejoiced, from every continent to every home. The elderly cried tears a
happiness and the teenagers stayed home from school to indulge. Food became a part of
everyday ritual, a religious group formed around an herb to increase their appetites to allow
them to feast heavier on Vishnus sweet creation. The grey slop was never eaten again.
Childrens grades skyrocketed, science propelled astronomically, astronomies propelled greatly,
the arts flourished and all was good in the world.
People had thanked Vishnu the great Chicken. He had liberated them from the evil circle
of bland and hunger. The people could agree on the moral learned, that breakfast food is the
greatest thing. They never lost faith in The Chicken and they were never forgotten, theyd
spend the rest of their days sunny side up basking in the beauty of breakfast food.