Letting Go of the Little Bits of Hate

penned by Charles Burnell 2014

I truly believe, it is not our place to judge others. When e judge ourselves, it should
only be !or the sa"e o! chec"s and balances. #ne should never aste ti$e or energy
being de$eaning to onesel!. %here is not groth, healing, or sel! love in this "ind o!
behavior. &et, I learned to beat $ysel! up and sha$e $ysel! into i$proving and
progressing. It as not healthy and it did not or" very ell.
%his as the social nor$ that I e'perienced in Cali!ornia, groing up. I as told that I
needed to love $ysel!, that good sel! estee$ as vital to good $ental health. It as all
very dry. %he e'a$ples that I perceived, relating ith peers and elders, as o! e$otional
isolation and (uiet judg$ent. It as not o"ay to not con!or$ or blend in. &ou could be
yoursel!, as long as you identi!ied ith a group. &ou had to have a de!inition that as
co$$only "non, and you had to adhere to the hatever the para$eters o! that group or
subculture. In the end, you still had to con!or$ to so$e "ind o! preset identi!ier.
) *e$ocrat only has de$ocrat !riends, and $ust believe hat every good *e$ocrat
believes. +ay people all act the sa$e ay and do not $a"e !riends ith straight people.
,ost straight people ho are -gay !riendly. are li"e that because they have so$eone in
the !a$ily ho is gay, or they really are a closet bi/se'ual... #r they are not originally
!ro$ Cali!ornia. I! you have $ood sings, it auto$atically $eans you have $ental
proble$s, or you are a drug addict. &ou cant get $ental health coverage !ro$ el!are
unless you are so !ar gone that you are being !orced to be hospitali0ed as a result o! legal
action.
%he social at$osphere as totally polluted. 1very day as a bad air (uality day. I as
(uestioned, so$eti$es to the point o! peer ridicule, !or $a"ing !riends !ro$ di!!erent
groups. %his as considered abnor$al, or unconventional behavior. ,y $ood sings
ere discussed in hushed voices, and greeted ith short, courteous, sy$pathy.
+roing up in the 2an 3rancisco Bay )rea, being non/judg$ental, open to diversity, and
politically correct as ground into $e !ro$ an early age. 4oever, the social nor$ that
I as taught to con!or$ to as pri$arily about outard presentation. %here didn5t really
see$ to be $uch substance in it. %his super!iciality as so co$$on, that I !ound it
challenging to inti$ately connect ith people. %here as a contradiction being
presented that I did not truly grasp, and yet I never !elt co$!ortable ith it.
%his judg$ental attitude as ingrained in $e in so $ay di!!erent !acets o! $y li!e. I a$
o!ten surprised, asha$ed, and than"!ul to !ind these little bits o! hate inside $e. I a$
surprised and asha$ed because I have believed $ysel! to be an open $inded, tolerant,
loving person. I ant to help people, and I try hard to not be judg$ental toards others.
I a$ than"!ul hen I !ind these bits o! hate inside $e, because it gives $e the
opportunity to release the$, thereby opening $ore roo$ inside $ysel! !or love and
light.
I a$ genuinely surprised at ho great an e'perience joining the 6nitarian 6niversalist
Congregation has been, and a little asha$ed by the clarity o! $y apparent preconceived
notions and prejudice about church in general. I reali0ed ho $uch I had been
judg$ental o! people ho incorporated religion in their lives, as i! they ere so$eho
7ea"er !or needing religion to understand right !ro$ rong7. When I as !aced ith
the ugly truth o! $y on judg$ent, I as asha$ed really.
I thin" that I have truly let go o! that piece o! hate no.
%he $ore I a$ able to identi!y the noo"s and crannies here hate hides inside $e, the
$ore I a$ able to let go o! it. I !eel li"e a lighter person every ti$e I a$ able to let go o!
the eight o! another piece o! hate. )nother step closer toards enlighten$ent.