Vous êtes sur la page 1sur 7

Nicandro 1

Derrick Nicandro
Professor Jaclyn Hymes
English 115
12 September 2014
Sino Ako?
Identity is a concept that many people struggle to find with and it is also found through so
many aspects in our lives. I personally developed my sense of who I am through being a Filipino
American and also a Christian. My race and faith have completely shaped who I am and have
helped me answer the reason that I exist. I am very proud to be a Filipino American.
As a kid I was always proud to be a Filipino. I had all the Filipino gear; hats, t-shirts,
bracelets and I would wear them proudly. One day, I was around 14 years old and my Pastor was
speaking and she began to explain the problem that Filipino Americans are to detached from the
Filipino culture. In my head I was thinking, What is she talking about? I am Filipino and I know
that. She started to talk directly to us Filipino Americans and she said, Raise your hands if you
KNOW you are Filipino. All twenty of us raised our hands. She then began to ask a series of
questions in which we had to raise our hands if we related or knew the answer to it. She asked:
Do you know how to speak FLUENT Tagalog and hold a conversation?
Do you know who killed Magellan?
What is our National Martial art?
How many islands are in the Philippines?
Who is the Philippines national hero?
What do the symbols in our flag mean?
etc
Nicandro

2
I was shocked. I didnt raise my hand at all. I never felt this way before. I started to
question if I really was a Filipino. All this time I wore clothes that displayed my country but I
had no idea what it all meant. In fact around this time I havent even been to the Philippines. I
understood Tagalog but I only knew how to say words that my parents would use when they
were angry because when immigrant parents get angry they express themselves better in their
native language. I looked at my friends who were Mexican, Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese and I
realized out of group of friends I was the only one who could not speak my native language.
Questions started to flood my mind on the way home. Am I American? Am I Filipino? What is a
Filipino? Etc.. I realized that by my looks I am Filipino but in reality I was completely detached
and had no idea what it means to be a Filipino. This is where my quest for my identity and who I
am began.
In 2010 my dad told me, Anak we are going back home to Pagsanjan (rural city in the
Philippines where my dad grew up ). I was ecstatic it would be my first trip to the Philippines
and It would be my dads first time back home since 1986. I knew that going there would help me
understand what it means to be a Filipino. For the entire month I was there all I did was observe
the people, smell the aromas, taste real Filipino food from the land, learned Filipino history and
practice my Tagalog. While in the Philippines specifically in the countryside where my dad grew
up I saw the simplicity and beauty of life. People still farmed and ate their food off the land.
They killed their own animals respectfully and grew their own vegetables. So many people lived
in small shabby cracked houses that contained their whole family that consists of the immediate
family plus the extended family and yet they were happy. I saw how beautiful and green my
country was and for the first time I felt in my heart that the Philippines is home and I truly
belonged to the group of people called the Filipinos. From my time in the Philippines I saw 3
Nicandro

3
values that were evident in the daily life of my people and my family. As Filipinos we are
Masipag (Hardworking), we value our Kamag-anak (Family) and we are selfless which in
Tagalog is Walang Pag-iimbot. I believe these 3 values encompass what it means to be a Filipino
and these 3 values are what keep me grounded in my life as a Filipino American.
Sipag
Hard work is needed in the daily life of the provinces of the Philippines because almost
anywhere outside of the major cities in the Philippines are in poverty. I specifically remember
having to help prepare dinner one of the nights I was there. I was thinking that we were going to
a grocery store somewhere in the province but then my dad told me that we had to actually hunt
and catch our food. This was normal to my dad this is how he grew up in fact he still knows how
to cleanly kill a chicken and a pig despite currently being an IT analyst. I thought he was joking
so I just laughed but he was serious. That night I specifically remember seeing my dad in action
he was completely in his own world. You would almost forget that he works with computers and
is that he is a technologically savvy man working in Los Angeles. It was then I realized why my
dad is so hardworking, he grew up with nothing. He knows what its like to hunt for food and
have no food for some nights. I saw him and I thought that in this age of technology and
information and convenience I was in the province and the people their live without all the
technology that I possess in America and they still find ways to put food on their tables. How is
it that I choose to be lazy if I have every resource in the world to work hard and receive more,
yet my family and the people in the province have nothing and work harder than I do.
Kamag-anak
Family comes first. Life revolves around the family and the Filipino family is a tight knit
unit. My entire family lives on one street in 3 houses. This includes all of me and my dads aunts,
Nicandro

4
uncles, grandparents, cousins, and even family friends. I looked back at America and I
remembered my friends. A lot of my friends come from broken families and I remembered some
of my friends saying, Once I turn 18 Im leaving my family forever. Images of my great-
grandmother came to my head I remembered how all of my family visited her and always kept
her company around the clock but no one visited the patient that shared the room with my great-
grandmother. I understood that as a Filipino we have a responsibility to take care of our parents
and our family and not just leave them. My concept of family also changed because even people
who were not even blood related to my family lived in our familys houses. The Filipino family
is more like a village, we all look out for each other and we make sure we take care of our own
and we help those who need help. When my dad and me came home our entire street turned into
a festival. The entire family welcomed us home with warm hugs, delicious food, and gifts. Even
though it was my first time there and I didnt even know any of the people in my family they
accepted me and welcomed me in as their own.
Walang pag-iimbot
Selflessness is what I love in our culture. The best example of this was our last day in the
Province because we were going to Manila, the capital, for our flight. Before we left the
ENTIRE village came to give us gifts. When I mean the entire village I mean the ENTIRE
village. They gave us food and more food. Everyone in the Pagsanjan made sure we were taken
care of. The people are struggling to gain resources and yet they gave they made sure that we did
not leave without anything from them. Usually I tend to think of what I need and what I want but
I realize that the mindset of my people is different. Its about me about the others around me.
This gesture of the village made me change my perspective and how I view things in the life. I
Nicandro

5
realized we were made to impact the others around us and not just live this life for self-
satisfaction.
Through my trip in the Philippines I finally gained the understanding of what it means to
be a Filipino American. After a month there I spoke Tagalog fluently and I was able to answer
the questions that were given to me by my pastor. I came back to America knowing with all of
my heart that I was a Filipino along with my identity as an American. For the first time I had a
firm grasp of my culture as a Filipino and as an American.
Unfortunately many Filipino Americans are not taught their culture in their lives. Many
Filipino Americans and I myself can relate to growing up and not knowing how to speak or
understand Tagalog. We grow up not knowing much of our own independent history because all
we know about our history is that the Spanish, Japanese and Americans colonized us. In addition,
many Filipino Americans go through an identity crisis of being a Filipino by looks but they
cannot connect to being a Filipino by culture. This is where my faith comes in. I believe that as a
Christian that I have been given this race and genetic make up for a reason. In fact, I think that
we are all given our race and genetic make up for the reason of preserving and passing on our
cultures to the people not only in our own race but also to the others around us. I believe that we
cannot move forward as people if we do not know our roots and where we come from. Both my
faith and my identity as a Filipino come together for this dream of learning from all other
cultures and at the same time being deeply rooted in my own culture. I know racism will always
be present but if we have this attitude I think it will make the world a better place no matter how
small the impact is. I have personally experienced discrimination when I was around 12 years
old. I was with my cousins at a park waiting for our turn to play a pick up game of basketball
with some other people. After the initial game we were next but the guys who won would not let
Nicandro

6
us play and made fun of us for being Asian. They called us chinks, slanted their eyes at us,
bowed and even called us dog eaters. They used all these Asian stereotypes on us so we just left.
That was the first and only time I have personally experienced racism first hand. I never felt that
kind of pain before that other people would look at us and think we were inferior because of the
way we looked.
As a Filipino American and as a Christian I want to continue to deepen my roots in my
culture but also help my race and other people understand their own roots and find their identity.
I know its clich but we only have one life and unfortunately many people live in this world
without really knowing who they are and why they exist. If it were not for the longing I had to
have these questions answered I would not have the confidence to say today that I am a Filipino
and that I am a believer in Christ. I would like to end with this quote from the Philippines
national hero Jose Rizal, considered to be the first Filipino, Ang hindi marunong lumingon sa
pinanggalingan hindi makararating sa pinaroroonan, it translates to, He who does not know
where he came from will never reach his destination. Identity is developed with knowing our
roots in our race and knowing where we come from as human beings.








Nicandro

7

Vous aimerez peut-être aussi