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Introduce Yourself

Hello. My name is Troy Moore. I was born many years ago in the same hospital as Steve
Yzerman, Scott and ob !eidermayer, and author "ngie "bdou. #n the day I was born, it
was a Thursday, !orth $ietnam launched the !guyen Hue #ffensive %illing &','''
soldiers, Ma%oto !agano was born halfway around the world in Miyaza%i. (on
Mc)ean*s "merican +ie was tearing up the charts.
I had a fun childhood, playing baseball, actually being beat in )ittle )eague by Trail who
would go on to play in the )ittle )eague ,orld Series, catching frogs, playing -hoc%ey
cards* when I thin% of the money wasted.)emieu/ and 0retz%y roo%ie cards flung
against the wall...(oing Motley 1rue for my 0rade & airband and finally 0rade 2
dances.side step, side step.
My parents split when I was 34 so me, my mom, my three sisters and our face5biting dog
Muffin moved !orth to 1hetwynd, 61. 0oing from a town of 7',''' to 4,''' and a
8unior school with &'' grade 9s to a school with :'' people total was ;uite a culture
shoc%. 6ut I made it wor%, during this time I grew numerous mullets.not only mullets
but perm mullets, which is where you grow the bac% long and then perm it so it is very
curly. I got my first earring at 3:, when the ear you pierced had significant meaning.
"lthough I thin% with 4 sisters and my mom, I was 8ust in touch with my feminine side. I
got my first car at 3<, a rust and green 3=27 1hevy $ega, whose muffler was tied on by
barbed wire, and which my friends called the >lintstone 1ar because the floor mats
covered two gaping holes where you could watch the road go by. ,ell if the bra%es ever
gave out you could use your feet to stop it. I got my first tattoo at 39. This is why you
never go in without a plan. I graduated in 3==3, in a huge grad class of :2, :' of whom
were dudes.a total sausage party.
In 3==9, after toiling away for years at the local ,est >raser I met my future wife who
had 8ust recently graduated high school. She moved away. I drove 4'' %ms each way
every wee%end for a year until I was able to get into college to be near her. In 7''4, at
the edge of 6i8ou >alls in the +ine +ass I married the girl I drove 4&,''' %ms for.
I*ve watched the Simpsons debut on television on the Tracey ?llman show, the fall of the
Soviet ?nion and the 6erlin ,all, the wanda 0enocide, I*ve watched the release of
!elson Mandella, the ,orld Series go !orth of the 6order and the Stanley 1up go south.
6ut all of it pales in comparison to my girls. In 7''&, May 3 and a month early, my first
daughter was born. 1arter "melia Moore was born at about <@'' in the morning. (ue to
complications she spent the first two wee%s of her life in !I1?. I had 8ust started a new
8ob at 1anfor in 6ear )a%e to help pay for school, and so for those wee%s my life was
wor% for 3' hours A34 counting the bus rideB spend every other second at the hospital and
sleep when I could. >our years later, on my birthday, little 1ooper )eigh was born with a
bro%en arm from a difficult birth. My wife and child were sent to +0 to !I1?, and even
though it was blizzarding I managed to somehow ma%e the drive.and catch the
I love the +ittsburgh Steelers, +enguins, and +irates.
>inally, I assume cows cant wal% bac%wards down stairs because they are to fat to see
where they are going.
"nd its not parado/en because multiple parado/AesB are rare, but here*s one if you
travelled bac% in time could you %ill your grandfatherC Thin% about it, if you do you
would cease to e/ist and therefore, couldn*t travel bac% in time when you were older to
%ill your grandfather.

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