Name: _____________________________

Descriptive Writing
Content Objective: Students will justify why descriptive writing is important to include in personal
writing.
Language Objectives:
1. Students will read Why Description Matters to the Brain with a partner.
2. Students will write an explanation why descriptive writing is important with a partner using the
sentence frame: Descriptive writing is important because ______________________________.
3. Students will read classmates justifications and respond in writing.

Why Description Matters to the Brain
May 9, 2013

Sticks and stones may break your bones, and words may
too, it turns out. At least as far as your mind is
concerned. I wont write a grisly description of a bone
breaking, but according to cognitive research explored
on National Public Radio last week, if you read vivid
language describing the action of say, a femur
splintering, your mind doesnt just see the words and
paint a visual picture, your brain simulates the
experience. If the writing is good, you might hear the
femur crack, see a shard slice through skin, sense a
shiver in your own femur. Feel your
stomach turn.This research has powerful implications for
creative nonfiction writers. It gives us insight into how
descriptive writing works, why it is effective, and how we
can make an impact with our words.Until the 1990s,
linguists believed that language was processed by a
discrete region of the brain, a language module that
humans evolved uniquely, since no other species shows an aptitude for language like mankind does. But
in the 1990s, scientists who wanted to find this module in the brain found something else entirely when
they used functional MRIs to observe the brains response to words. They found that when a human hears
language, a discrete region of the brain does not respond. The entire brain responds. As Benjamin Bergen
and Jon Hamilton described in the NPR piece:
If someone read a sentence like, the shortstop threw the ball to first base, parts of the brain dedicated to
vision and movement would light up.
The way that you understand an action is by recreating in your vision system what it would look like
and recreating in your motor system what it would be like to be that shortstop, to have the ball in your
hand and release it, Bergen says.
Your vision system and your motor system react to language. In other words, as Bergen explains, When
you encounter words describing a particular action, your brain simulates the experience.
This is the key element that got me excited as a writer and a reader that language creates a virtual
reality. They didnt go into it on the show, but presumably when your mind interprets words, it doesnt
just form images and motor reactions, but good writing may also trigger physiological responses, such as
the release of adrenaline or endorphins. Like when Shirley Jackson terrifies me, makes my heart race, and
triggers the fight (keep reading) or flight (hide the book behind others on the shelf) response with The
Haunting of Hill House. Or when Natalie Goldberg does the opposite relaxes my muscles, lowers my
blood pressure, and cloaks me in calm with her gentle language in Long Quiet Highway.
So what does this mean for creative nonfiction writers? These findings are the essence of the authors
adage, Show dont tell. They explain why showing works and telling doesnt. When we tell a story in the
form of this happened, and then this happened, were not giving the reader much to work with.
Alice went to the window and got mad when she saw Tom had showed up.
What experience can the brain simulate from that? Not much. Went and got mad dont trigger specific
images that give the mind traction for launching a virtual reality. But if we use strong verbs, if we show
Alices stride, if we describe her anger with a facial expression:
Alice strode to the window and scowled when the chauffeur opened the car door and Tom stepped out.
The readers brain has specific images to work with, like strode and scowled, that conjure not just
visual cues, but emotional cues as well. The reader will likely experience a more vivid simulation with the
second sentence. Maybe there will even be a reaction a little fluttering in her heart as her mind braces
for a confrontation.
From a big picture standpoint, these findings are thrilling because they show why good writing moves us,
why we crave it, why we are driven to create and consume it. Language is not just for communicating, as
bees communicate the location of a flower patch through the waggle dance. Human language is also for
evoking feeling, for connecting us through common crises, for teaching us how others have lived. For
suggesting significance beneath the surface of it all.
As the NPR piece explored, the brain can make sense of something that doesnt exist a flying pig, in
their example by extrapolating and inferring meaning through language cues. With creative writing, we
are able to simulate experiences the reader has never had, or trigger ones that she has. If we write well,
especially as creative nonfiction writers, we are able to create a virtual reality that links a 21st century
executive with the struggles of a 19th century slave, or a modern 7-year-old with a pioneer prairie girl, or
a gregarious extrovert with the inner workings of an introvert.
If we use language well, we make it possible to understand each other. We transmit an awareness. If the
readers mind feels that femur splintering, she will have compassion.
If we write well in our creative nonfiction, we share the human experience. If we write well, we gift the gift
of empathy.
Name: _____________________________
Descriptive Writing
Content Objective: Students will identify characteristics of a descriptive paragraph including figurative
language and paragraph structure.
Language Objectives:
1. Students will read descriptive paragraphs.
2. Students will highlight examples of sensory imagery.
3. Students will verbally discuss how each paragraph is structured.

Descriptive Writing Notes









Class - Example #1: A Friendly Clown
On one corner of my dresser sits a smiling toy clown on a tiny unicycle--a gift I received last Christmas
from a close friend. The clown's short yellow hair, made of yarn, covers its ears but is parted above the
eyes. The blue eyes are outlined in black with thin, dark lashes flowing from the brows. It has cherry-red
cheeks, nose, and lips, and its broad grin disappears into the wide, white ruffle around its neck. The
clown wears a fluffy, two-tone nylon costume. The left side of the outfit is light blue, and the right side is
red. The two colors merge in a dark line that runs down the center of the small outfit. Surrounding its
ankles and disguising its long black shoes are big pink bows. The white spokes on the wheels of the
unicycle gather in the center and expand to the black tire so that the wheel somewhat resembles the
inner half of a grapefruit. The clown and unicycle together stand about a foot high. As a cherished gift
from my good friend Tran, this colorful figure greets me with a smile every time I enter my room.
Structure:
Sensory Imagery:
Group 1 - Example #2: Gregory
Gregory is my beautiful gray Persian cat. He walks with pride and grace, performing a dance of disdain as
he slowly lifts and lowers each paw with the delicacy of a ballet dancer. His pride, however, does not
extend to his appearance, for he spends most of his time indoors watching television and growing fat.
He enjoys TV commercials, especially those for Meow Mix and 9 Lives. His familiarity with cat food
commercials has led him to reject generic brands of cat food in favor of only the most expensive brands.
Gregory is as finicky about visitors as he is about what he eats, befriending some and repelling others.
He may snuggle up against your ankle, begging to be petted, or he may imitate a skunk and stain your
favorite trousers. Gregory does not do this to establish his territory, as many cat experts think, but to
humiliate me because he is jealous of my friends. After my guests have fled, I look at the old fleabag
snoozing and smiling to himself in front of the television set, and I have to forgive him for his obnoxious,
but endearing, habits.


Group 2 - Example #3: Inside District School #7, Niagara County, NY
Inside, the school smelled smartly of varnish and wood smoke from the potbellied stove. On gloomy
days, not unknown in upstate New York in this region south of Lake Ontario and east of Lake Erie, the
windows emitted a vague, gauzy light, not much reinforced by ceiling lights. We squinted at the
blackboard, that seemed far away since it was on a small platform, where Mrs. Dietz's desk was also
positioned, at the front, left of the room. We sat in rows of seats, smallest at the front, largest at the
rear, attached at their bases by metal runners, like a toboggan; the wood of these desks seemed
beautiful to me, smooth and of the red-burnished hue of horse chestnuts. The floor was bare wooden
planks. An American flag hung limply at the far left of the blackboard and above the blackboard, running
across the front of the room, designed to draw our eyes to it avidly, worshipfully, were paper squares
showing that beautifully shaped script known as Parker Penmanship.


Individual - Example #4: The Blond Guitar
My most valuable possession is an old, slightly warped blond guitar--the first instrument I taught myself
how to play. It's nothing fancy, just a Madeira folk guitar, all scuffed and scratched and finger-printed. At
the top is a bramble of copper-wound strings, each one hooked through the eye of a silver tuning key.
The strings are stretched down a long, slim neck, its frets tarnished, the wood worn by years of fingers
pressing chords and picking notes. The body of the Madeira is shaped like an enormous yellow pear, one
that was slightly damaged in shipping. The blond wood has been chipped and gouged to gray,
particularly where the pick guard fell off years ago. No, it's not a beautiful instrument, but it still lets me
make music, and for that I will always treasure it.
Name: _____________________________
Descriptive Writing
Content Objective: Students will identify and brainstorm a topic for a descriptive essay with a partner.
Language Objectives:
1. Students will create a brainstorm map identifying many specific details.
2. Students will verbally describe their chosen topic with a partner.
3. Students will listen to their partner and draw a picture of what was described.






















Topic
Looks like... Smells like
Tastes like
Sounds Like
Name: _____________________________
Descriptive Paragraph




Assignment
Write a complex descriptive paragraph describing a topic of choice (object, location, person, etc.) while
revealing an emotional connection to the topic. Structure your paragraph logically using 1 of the
structural examples you studied. Describe your topic of choice with sensory imagery that appeals
to at least 2 different senses. Do not tell your reader about your topic but show them what your topic
looks like, feels like, smells like, tastes like, or sounds like.
Features of Descriptive Writing

The use of vivid adjective and adverbs
The use of metaphors
The use of similes
Showing the reader versus telling
Ex. Showing: I meandered aimlessly through alleyways scattered with trash reminding me of my
aunts kitchen where I was lucky to find a spoon, especially a clean one, as I navigated three years
of dirty floors, drawers and dishes.

Ex. Telling: I walked through the alley.

The use of sensory imagery by capturing the physical sensations of sight, sound, smell, taste and touch
Varied sentence length and structure
Presents information in a logical order
The use of action words
Dont use nondescript words/phrases such as: a lot, nice, good, very, etc.

Requirements
1. Vividly show your reader your object (Ideas)
2. Appeal to 2 senses (Ideas)
3. Reveal an emotional connection to your topic (Voice)
4. Present information in a logical and clear structure. (Structure & Organization)
5. Vary sentence structure and length to add variety to your writing (Conventions & Mechanics)
6. No grammatical errors (Conventions & Mechanics)
7. 500 words minimum (Structure & Organization)
8. Typed in MLA format Times New Roman, 12 pt. font, double spaced, Title & Name
(Structure & Organization)
Content Objective: Students will write a descriptive essay using figurative language and choose a
paragraph structure sandwiching, funneling, etc.
Language Objectives:
1. Students will write a paragraph.
30 Points
Exceeds Expectations
5 pts.
Meets Expectations
4 pts.
Needs Improvement
3 pts.
Idea Development
The writers chosen
object has been
described vividly
appealing to at least 2
of the 5 senses.
The writer clearly
shows the reader the
chosen object and does
not tell about the
object.

The writers chosen
object has been
described somewhat
vividly appealing to at
least 2 of the 5 senses.
The writer somewhat
clearly shows the
reader the chosen
object, but does some
telling.
The writers chosen
object has not been
described vividly and/or
appeals to 1 of the 5
senses.
The writer tells about
the object; he/she does
not show the reader
the object.
Voice
The writer reveals a
personal connection
with his/her topic. The
reader has clear sense
of the writers
personality.
The writer reveals a
somewhat personal
connection with his/her
topic. The reader has a
somewhat clear sense
of the writers
personality.
The writer does not
reveal a personal
connection with his/her
topic. The reader does
not have a clear sense
of the writers
personality.
Structure &
Organization
The writer uses a logical
structure for his/her
chosen topic.

The writer has written
500+ words.

The writer has written
his/her essay in MLA
format utilizing all 4
requirements.
The writer uses a
somewhat logical
structure for his/her
chosen topic.

The writer has written
400-499 words.

The writer has written
his/her essay in MLA
format utilizing 3 of the
4 requirements.
The writer does not use
a logical structure for
his/her chosen topic.

The writer has written
less than 399 words.

The writer has written
his/her essay in MLA
format utilizing 2 of the
4 requirements.
Mechanics &
Conventions
The writer has no
grammatical errors.
The writer has some
grammatical errors.
The writer has many
grammatical errors.

________ / 30

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