Pastoral Care Team Training

Taking Your Caring Skills to the Next Level

Rev. Michelle Collins
October 19, 2013

Opening & Chalice Lighting

Adapted from Susan Gregg- Schroeder

Agenda for the Day

Introductions

Brainstorming : What is pastoral care?

Brief Active Listening Review & Practice
Advanced Active Listening: Use of Self

Boundaries in our caring

BREAK

Spiritual Assessment Models

LUNCH
Discussion: Caring for ourselves

Brainstorming:
What is
Pastoral Care?

What is Pastoral Care?

Supporting someone in the church who has some kind of
need
Connecting the church with them
Serving a pastoral function that the official pastor
cannot handle all of by him/herself
Active ministry

Reaching out to anyone in the congregation in a caring

way
Crisis help & continuing care for people in longer term
situations
Offering support
Creating a sense of church community

What is Pastoral Care?

Community as extended family
Resource network and referral, knowing when to bring in
other resources
Helping someone feel that they are not alone

Institutional love
Friendship

Just being there (ministry of presence)

Recognition of normal stages of life (illness & death)

Recognition of normal stages that are celebrations and

happy occasions too
Share in celebration of the joys
We cheer on the successes, even the small ones; and
abiding with them during the bad times
We support each other

Active Listening Review

Paraphrase
Productive Questions
Perception Check

Active Listening: Paraphrase

Saying back in your own words what the
speaker has just said
Doesnt deal with emotions unless they were
directly mentioned by the speaker

STEM + CONTENT
Checks reception of information and identifies
missing information

Speaker feels like they have been heard

Active Listening: Productive Questions

Questions based on: Free information (ideas or

feelings); Deleted information; Distortions (words of

inclusion or exclusion); Responses to other questions
you have asked

Productive questions are the FUEL for the

conversation and encouragement to reflection
Used to prompt the speakers story
Questions give the speaker permission to share
more about themselves and their concerns
Can be based on facts, ideas, or feelings

Active Listening: Perception Check

As a listener, we watch for clues about:
Feelings they have said
Feelings they have implied in their story or tone
Non-verbal expressions and body language

Then we repeat back what we think we heard or

observed (without dismissing, discounting, or
sounding judgmental)
You sound or It sounds like

You seem or It seems like

I am noticing that

Skill Practice: Paraphrase

Saying back in your own words whats
been said
STEM + CONTENT:
You are saying that

What I hear you saying is that

You are telling me that
If I am hearing you right, you are

Let me say what I am hearing

So

Skill Practice: Productive Questions

Questions based on:
Free information (ideas or feelings)

Deleted information
Distortions (words of inclusion or exclusion)
Responses to other questions you have asked

Can be based on facts, ideas, or feelings

Skill Practice: Perception Check

Based on feelings said, feelings implied, or

non-verbal cues

Stems:
You sound or It sounds like
You seem or It seems like

I am noticing that

Skill Practice

Paraphrase
Productive Questions
Perception Check

Self-Reference & Use of Self

Listening is the OPPOSITE of

talking about yourself, isnt it?

Is it ever okay to talk about

yourself?

Self-Reference & Use of Self

What are some of the Pros in favor

of Self Reference?

Self-Reference & Use of Self

Arguments FOR Self Reference:

Convey empathy and facilitate the relationship

Provide feedback about the impact of the care
receiver on others
Model self disclosure to a more closed care
receiver
Reassure care receivers and normalize their
experiences
Care givers who self disclose (appropriately)
are consistently rated by care receivers as
more helpful

Self-Reference & Use of Self

What are some of the Cons

against Self Reference?

Self-Reference & Use of Self

Arguments AGAINST Self Reference:

Care givers may disclose to meet their own

needs
Manipulate or control care receivers

Defend their own actions or behaviors

Has the potential to harm care receivers if done
improperly or insensitively

Shifts focus of conversation to care giver

instead of care receiver
Blur boundaries and burden care receiver

Self-Reference & Use of Self

Self Involving Responses
Expressions of feelings and reactions to the
speaker in the present interaction (immediacy)
Can join the care receivers experiences and
feelings with your own
Responses that explicitly convey empathy

Self Disclosing Reponses

Information about caregiver and their
experiences outside of the present interaction
Help to build rapport and share connection of
similar experiences

Self-Reference & Use of Self

Focus and intention should remain on care
receiver
Make sure there is a conscious purpose to any
self involving response that is relevant and
beneficial to the present interaction
Be aware when focus of conversation is on
yourself

Common to have some give & take this is

how rapport and relationship are built
Three-sentence rule

Boundaries and Ethics

Physical
Emotional
Information & Confidentiality
Role
Connection to minister & PC leaders
Limits (your own & congregations)

BREAK

Spiritual Assessment
Spiritual assessment is a means of looking at
the larger picture of a persons spiritual wellbeing, especially as it relates to their resilience
Helps in creating the plan of care for that
person and in determining how to best support
them at that time
Reminds the caregiver of elements which may
be significant to the care receiver
Encourages reflection and meaning-making for
the care receiver

Using Spiritual Assessment

Internal to caregiver
Listen for different elements as they arise in
conversation(s)

Directly present in conversation

Help guide productive questions

Will likely be focusing on only one area in any

given conversation or series of conversations

Overall assessment
Snapshot of spiritual well-being of care receiver
Good for assessing overall resilience and coping

Four Part Spiritual Assessment

1.Sense of the Holy

2.Meaning/Direction
3.Hope
4.Community/Relatedness

1) Sense of the Holy

What is the care receivers sense or
understanding of the holy?
What are the sources outside of themselves
to which they look for strength?

Where does their strength come from?

How is this important to them?
What helps to remind them of this
strength?

2) Meaning/Direction
What is the care receivers sense of
meaning and direction in their life?

How clear is it to them right now?

What is their sense of the meaning of their
current circumstances?

How does this impact their overall meaning

and direction?
Is their overall sense of meaning and
direction something they are comfortable
with and confident about?

3) Hope
What are they hopeful for?

How resilient is their sense of hope?

Are you sensing any despair or
hopelessness?

How bearable is their current situation?

Resist the temptation to try and give
someone else hope hope is entirely
internal and must be found individually.

4) Community/Relatedness
What ties and supports does the care
receiver have that sustains them?

How strong or dependable are these ties?

Does this person have a lot of resources or
only a few?

How close are they to family members?

(both geographically close and emotionally
close)
What is their support like from friends and
other communities or acquaintances?

Practicing Spiritual Assessment

1.Sense of the Holy

2.Meaning/Direction
3.Hope
4.Community/Relatedness

Koenigs 10 Spiritual Needs

1) A need to make sense of the illness
2) A need for purpose and meaning in the
midst of illness

3) A need for spiritual beliefs to be

acknowledged, respected, and supported
4) A need to transcend the illness and the
self
5) A need to feel in control and to give up
control

Koenigs 10 Spiritual Needs

6) A need to feel connected and cared for

7) A need to acknowledge and cope with

the notion of dying and death
8) A need to forgive and be forgiven
9) A need to be thankful in the midst of
illness
10) A need for hope

Conversational Care Gates

A care gate is an avenue into which a
caring conversation can go
Only one gate can really be deeply
engaged in a single conversation

Goal is listening for the gate that the

care receiver is engaging or struggling
with at that time
The caregiver then seeks to help the
care receiver open up their feelings and
experiences through that gate
Source: Lewis, James Michael. "Pastoral assessment in hospital ministry: a
conversational approach." Chaplaincy Today 18, no. 2 (Autumn-Winter 2002): 5-13.

Conversational Care Gates

Awareness of Mystery & Renewal
Sense of Understanding
Sense of Faith & Balance
Sense of Gratitude or Grace
Sense of Re/Conciliation

Loving & Being Loved

Sense of Meaning & Direction

LUNCH