Literary Narrative!

Amber Creft

Junior year of high school I was loaded with many different classes. This was the year I
began taking my AP classes and really beginning to challenge myself. I was figuring out what I
was good at, and what I still needed to work on. I was in the process of discovering myself, finding my likes and dislikes, and still trying to manage it all. Through the course of this year I found
someone who played a significant role in my literacy education. This individual happened to be
my eleventh grade AP English teacher, Ms. Diederich.
Ms. Diederich was one of a kind. She was more laid back than your everyday
teacher. She was a causal, mid 30s caucasian lady. I found her easy to talk to. I never came to
her about personal problems because I never felt the need. She was cool, but not my therapist.
We had many class discussions though, about whatever came to mind. She was very open minded and I remember her being very democratic. Her favorite president of all time was Bill Clinton.
So you can kind of get an idea of the kind of individual she was. It was her first year teaching an
AP english class but also her first year with eleventh graders. Prior to that she was teaching
freshman. It was an adjustment for her. We were somewhat like her experimental group.
Ms. Diederich almost always tried new things with us but was mainly focused on our
writing skills. She most importantly wanted us to pass our AP exam at the end of the course. The
AP english exam had three timed essays and about 60 multiple choice questions. The essay questions were usually an analysis essay, an argumentative essay and an a synthesis essay. This was
an hour and a half long class. Every day we began with a journal entry that varied from topic to
topic. We then would have a class discussion, and the last 45 mins of class was dedicated to a
timed writing. She wanted us to get in the habit of writing well in a timely manner. The AP exam
gave you three or so hours to write three essays, so 45 mins seemed like an effective time con-

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Amber Creft

straint for each essay to be written. We had a different one to practice with every time we wrote
them. She used old Ap exam essays they had release from previous years. This way we could get
a sense of what our topics would be about. I learned some of my best writing skills through these
45 minute writings. I learned skills from analyzing, t o building arguments, to ultimately being
more expressive in my writings. I needed that class.
I had always hated writing, to me there was just nothing to like about it. It was beyond
time consuming and required too much work behind it. Quite frankly, I felt like I had better
things to do. I honestly dreaded going to class sometimes because I knew I was going to have to
write about something that was of no interest to me. I didn't realize that practicing so much
would have so much of an impact on my future writing styles. As much as I didnt look forward
to writing a story, I looked forward to what new writing skills I would gain. Wether this were
new words or just minor details I was going to add to my paper; I knew Ms. Diederich would
give me some useful advice.
Although practicing essays in class was helpful, it still was not enough for me. Ms.
Diederich offered tutoring hours after school on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 2:30-3:30. This
was a perfect time to get individual help so we could be even more prepared for exam day. It was
getting closer and closer to exam day which fell at the beginning of May. Towards the end of
April I began going to the tutoring sessions more often. I was never one to go to tutoring. I usually just tried to figure it out on my own. Since I was never too fond of writing though, I figured
the extra help would come in handy.
It was a Tuesday afternoon in the middle of April. I missed cheerleading practice that day,
which I tried not to do too often but I felt this would be an important tutoring session since exam

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Amber Creft

day was around the corner. During these tutoring session we would bring the papers we wrote in
class. Wed look over them and discuss better word choice, details, and other writing imperfections that we needed to work on. If they were already graded we would just go over the comments already listed, but if not we would find the things that needed looking into.
This particular day we were going over one of my argumentative essays. It was just me
and Ms. Dieiderich. There were other students, but they had already been helped, or it simply
wasn't their turn. My essay was about the lack of solitude in teenage individuals today. I was excited to write that essay. It was something I could relate to, something I had an idea about. Going
into the session I felt confident in my paper. That is something I almost never feel. I just felt like
I had strong details, persuasiveness, and the format it was supposed to be written in. I remember
thinking to myself what is she going to find wrong? Maybe I was a little too confident. Ms.
Diederich proceeded to read through my paper. I was sitting in the seat next to her quietly. I observed her eye movement and any facial expressions that would make me sense she saw a flaw in
my paper. She seemed to be focused, she lifted her pen to proceed to write something. In that
moment my stomach went from subtle to turning instantly. I had this sick feeling of uncertainty.
What was wrong with my paper, was I grammatically incorrect, did I lack details; I had so many
questions running through my head. I was beginning to sweat, literally. It began in my hands and
I was just waiting for her to be done so I could fix what was needed and get out of there. I didn't
even want to be there anymore, crazy right. I mean I didn't even know what was wrong with my
paper yet, but I already wasn't too comfortable with my writing.
Time was passing and it was getting closer for me to leave, I was trying to get to practice
by three. It took her about 10 mins, and she proceeded to say,

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Amber Creft

Okay Amber this is a good paper, but this is what needs to be fixed.
I was stuck. Fixed? What about my perfect paper?
You just need to focus more on the topic given Amber You seem to lose focus on
what you are really writing about, and you need to make it more vivd for your reader to stay
connected to.
I dont understand Ms.Diederich, it all makes sense to me.
My face was turning red by the minute.
I see your potential, use your voice it will impact your paper.
Okay, my writing needs more of me in it pretty much? I think I get it. It just gets stressful sometimes.
Well Amber, this is why I am here to help. It is good you came to this tutoring session.
You will only get better as a writer.
Thank you Ms. Diederich, Ill definitely make some changes. I have to get to practice
now.
There I was, let down on a paper I saw more in. It sucks to fail, to do bad and thats exactly what I did. It seemed as if all my writing flaws were in this one paper. I went in thinking I
had one of the best papers ever written and came out with the most flaws Ive ever had. I jotted
down notes as she gave her spiel about what needed to be fixed, as I sat there feeling unsettled.
She wrapped it up by telling me to not feel discouraged and continue writing because I was a better writer than I knew. I scurried out, taking along my book bag, notes, and thoughts she left me
to dwell on. It was about 3:05 now, and I was off to cheerleading practice. My mind was a bit
uneasy the entire time. I had a sickening feeling inside in disbelief that I did so poorly on my pa-

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Amber Creft

per in which I thought was one of my best. Im the worse writer ever I constantly told myself,
but I knew that with writing came mistakes and with mistakes comes a learning outcome. For
me, it was that I needed to show more of me in my writing and I was going to do just that.
I went home that night and rewrote my essay with Ms. Diederichs advice in mind. When
I turned in my final paper and received a letter grade I had a B. It wasn't an A, but it was an improvement from what I would've had. I took her advice and used it to my advantage, in the end I
gained writing skills that I would have for a lifetime, skills that would most importantly be helpful on my AP exam. I wont sit here and say since then I have been an amazing writer, but I will
say since then I have tried to focus more on my writing topics and I have still felt more confident
in my writing. I know that I will still come across flaws and that there will always be room for
improvement, but I am more open to writing stories these days. I actually sometimes even enjoy
it. If I never had Ms. Diederich, my outlook on writing would still probably be a negative one. I
know I have potential to be a good writer as every individual does, I just have to put forth the
time and effort.