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Document assessment
Document assessment
PERSONAL STATEMENT
- YAO YANAN
THIS IS OBVIOUS
FROM THE FACT
THEYRE APPLYING
TO GRAD SCHOOL.
VAGUE
gathered
data
and
effectively
measure
childrens
BROAD
NEEDS
MORE
DETAIL
REFS TO
PRESTIGE=
MASSIVE
CLICHE (+
HAS NOTHING
TO DO WITH
THE CLIENT
THEMSELVES
Good / GREAT!
STATING THIS ABSTRACT QUALITIES
HAS NO REAL VALUE TO THE CLIENTS CASE
FOR ADMISSIONTHEY NEED TO BE
DEMONSTRATED NOT ASSERTED. In junior year, I consolidated my determination to work on
KEY
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XXX Clarify; it isnt totally
clear what you mean.
XXX Be more specific, or
explain in more detail.
Remove or improve:
XXX Overly-abstract or too
general; evaluative
assertions should arise
clearly and naturally from
the facts. (See Specificity,
Assertions and Relevance).
XXX Make stronger links to
you/your specific
achievements
XXX Link more
clearly/relevantly to your
objectives/the program itself.
XXX This is self-evident or
too basic; some
descriptions are
unnecessary because they
are obvious from the context
or explanations of basic
facts.
XXX This seems out of
context.
Reduce or Remove
XXX Some unecessary
detail or overly long
explanation here; focus on
what the the question is
asking you to provide.
XXX Stylistic error /
clichd/overly-commonplace
expression; unnecessary
formalities and flourishes or
excessive compliments to
the school or discussions of
their rankings are not
advised.
XXX Likely to be mentioned
somewhere else in your
application
(resume/transcript).
XXX Not relevant enough to
your case for admission to
warrant inclusion (without
significant, compelling links
to your goals.
Good / GREAT!
VERY VAGUE
LANGUAGE
These two cases are exemplary of the paradoxes and
KEY
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XXX Clarify; it isnt totally
clear what you mean.
XXX Be more specific, or
explain in more detail.
Remove or improve:
XXX Overly-abstract or too
general; evaluative
assertions should arise
clearly and naturally from
the facts. (See Specificity,
Assertions and Relevance).
XXX Make stronger links to
you/your specific
achievements
XXX Link more
clearly/relevantly to your
objectives/the program itself.
XXX This is self-evident or
too basic; some
descriptions are
unnecessary because they
are obvious from the context
or explanations of basic
facts.
XXX This seems out of
context.
Reduce or Remove
XXX Some unecessary
detail or overly long
explanation here; focus on
what the the question is
asking you to provide.
XXX Stylistic error /
clichd/overly-commonplace
expression; unnecessary
formalities and flourishes or
excessive compliments to
the school or discussions of
their rankings are not
advised.
XXX Likely to be mentioned
somewhere else in your
application
(resume/transcript).
XXX Not relevant enough to
your case for admission to
warrant inclusion (without
significant, compelling links
to your goals.
grew keenly aware that early childhood education along with parents
verifying the hypothesis that skill begets skill. Also, I realized that
WOULD
BE BETTER
TO STATE
WHERE
RESEARCH
INFO IS
GOING
EARLIER
Good / GREAT!
GENERAL EXPLANATORY MATERIAL; NOT
CLEARLY/QUICKLY LINKED TO STUDENTSPECIFIC MATERIAL TO JUSTIFY ITSELF.
KEY
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XXX Clarify; it isnt totally
clear what you mean.
XXX Be more specific, or
explain in more detail.
Remove or improve:
XXX Overly-abstract or too
general; evaluative
assertions should arise
clearly and naturally from
the facts. (See Specificity,
Assertions and Relevance).
XXX Make stronger links to
you/your specific
achievements
XXX Link more
clearly/relevantly to your
objectives/the program itself.
XXX This is self-evident or
too basic; some
descriptions are
unnecessary because they
are obvious from the context
or explanations of basic
facts.
XXX This seems out of
context.
Reduce or Remove
XXX Some unecessary
detail or overly long
explanation here; focus on
what the the question is
asking you to provide.
XXX Stylistic error /
clichd/overly-commonplace
expression; unnecessary
formalities and flourishes or
excessive compliments to
the school or discussions of
their rankings are not
advised.
XXX Likely to be mentioned
somewhere else in your
application
(resume/transcript).
XXX Not relevant enough to
your case for admission to
warrant inclusion (without
significant, compelling links
to your goals.
between
educational
intervention
and
childrens
A BASIC
In graduate school, I would like to continue my exploration PREMISE
FOR
ANYONE
in education policy and evaluate policies through scientific APPLYING?
Good / GREAT!
KEY
Expand
XXX Clarify; it isnt totally
clear what you mean.
XXX Be more specific, or
explain in more detail.
Remove or improve:
XXX Overly-abstract or too
general; evaluative
assertions should arise
clearly and naturally from
the facts. (See Specificity,
Assertions and Relevance).
XXX Make stronger links to
you/your specific
achievements
XXX Link more
clearly/relevantly to your
objectives/the program itself.
XXX This is self-evident or
too basic; some
descriptions are
unnecessary because they
are obvious from the context
or explanations of basic
facts.
XXX This seems out of
context.
Reduce or Remove
XXX Some unecessary
detail or overly long
explanation here; focus on
what the the question is
asking you to provide.
XXX Stylistic error /
clichd/overly-commonplace
expression; unnecessary
formalities and flourishes or
excessive compliments to
the school or discussions of
their rankings are not
advised.
XXX Likely to be mentioned
somewhere else in your
application
(resume/transcript).
XXX Not relevant enough to
your case for admission to
warrant inclusion (without
significant, compelling links
to your goals.