Final Portfolio Essay Draft

I was excited, nervous, and bored all at the same time as soon as I stepped into my first
college writing class. Its not that I didnt like writing, but before I had even stepped into the
classroom I had without a doubt figured out what it was going to be like: do a few warm-ups,
talk about it, read articles, analyze it, and listen to the teacher talk about some grammar lesson.
That was it. The routine would become habitual. Maybe occasionally we would be assigned a
book or two and write a paper about it afterwards. I had presumed that it was probably going to
be exactly like my high school English classes. At the same time I was hoping it wasnt like that.
I wanted to try something new and learn it. I was totally wrong once I looked over the syllabus
thinking it would be like high school. Never did it mention reading any books or writing a paper
about it. Instead I kept seeing the word e-portfolio, key concepts, a giant grading scale, and the
three major papers we were going to have to write. Now I was confused, I had never heard of an
e-portfolio and how was that going to be where most of our grade came from? I thought If an eportfolio is my exam, this should be easy. I didnt actually think I had to put much effort into
my work, it was just English class.
E-PORTFOLIO: When we asked Mrs. Ingram what an e-portfolio was she described it as a site
or place where youre going to post all of your essays, blog posts, and writing work and see how
its changed. Reflect on it. This made more sense and I really liked the idea. I was excited to see
how my writing would change and the skills I would gain throughout the semester. To organize
my e-portfolio, I had to make an outline. Its a writing ritual that I have to do, to mentally picture
where I want to put my writing artifacts and essays. The essays included in it are the greatest
essays that I think well reflect me. Im not a huge fan of technology, its simple things about it
that I find complex. Using the website Weebly to make my e-portfolio Ive learned a lot from

embedding documents, links, and how to make a blog itself. I could use my creative side when I
was deciding what pictures and modes of communication to use for it. When I was designing my
site I decided on going in order from what we did first to the last assignment. The artifacts and
extra assignments that were essential to my learning are in the end of the tab
BLOG: There are six blog posts that Ive done since we first started our blog site. I remember
when Mrs. Ingram first mentioned creating a blog, I cringed. Oh no! People are going to judge
my writing I thought. I was afraid of opening up and taking risks. At first it was difficult for me
to start a post. How are blogs supposed to start? Should I post the question up too? I would
overthink it and keep on deleting the first sentence several times. When we started doing class
discussions its when I realized that if Im not going to be talking much in class I should put
more effort and open up in my essays and blogs. In blog post number three, about codeswitching I did start making my opinions more aware to others and typing what I felt.
Using one dialect would be difficult for those that aren't familiar to understand anything.
Teachers should choose the local dialect they use in their region/area as the main way to
educate in. They should be open-minded and have a heightened awareness of dialect variations
in English while being respectful of their student's language background.

Although I did see some improvement in my thinking skills, I didnt think much of it until I
reread them and noticed how it had evolved. I was now critically analyzing more controversial
and in-depth articles, which required me to think in a different way and perspective. Doing blog
post has been a different approach to writing that Ive never done before and I really enjoyed
doing it. I learned that its a really fun and creative way to express how youre feeling. Youre
free of restrictions and youre showcasing your true voice.

LITERACY NARRATIVE: As I mentioned we only had three major essays to write. Our first
major one was a literacy narrative. I didnt like it at first, but in the end of writing three drafts I
loved doing it. I discovered how much I loved using descriptive words and how I portrayed my
thoughts and memories onto paper. It was hard for me to start writing this paper, because I was
used to being in my comfortable zone. Eventually I finished it and after the first draft I thought
thats it? It wasnt hard. Thats why I was surprised when Mrs. Ingram came in our peer groups
and told us about writing another three pages about about one particular event. Not going to
lie, I didnt like how broad this draft was open to. It gave me so many options to choose from
and I had to decide what kind of experience I wanted to reflect upon. In my Weebly, I included
an activity we did in class where Mrs. Ingram helped us visualize that specific moment using our
senses and to describe them. She asked us questions like What do you see? How do you
feel?, and What do you smell? Hear? The event I kept going back to was when I was in
second grade and the difficulty I had experienced with reading a chapter book. I chose that
moment because I overcame that problem and the teacher was part of the solution to my
problem. She genuinely cared about her students and would go out of her way to make sure no
one had any troubles. Soon after I told her about mine, I realized I wasnt the only one. Reading
my essay to my peer group I didnt mind, but the fact that they would know something that not
many people knew about me was kind of embarrassing. Specifically this part of my dialogue:
I cant read chapter books. I start getting distracted and make up my own story instead of
reading the book and thats why I didnt even read the book you gave to us. I really tried, but I
couldnt.
I was relieved when heard my other group members essays, I wasnt the only that experienced a
literacy problem. In my opinion reading our essays out loud made it easier for us to give critical

feedback. My group commented about how I used descriptive words. It helped them feel like I
was there. This is from my second draft:
I sat there staring blankly at my desk. Feeling uncomfortable and tense in the chair.
Uncomfortable because I was too embarrassed that I couldnt answer a simple question in a
complete sentence. I couldnt stop replaying the mean laughter and giggling I heard around me
when I said I cant. What were they saying about me? Did they think I couldnt read? Should I
give the book another try? I heard nothing around me, but the laughter and dozens of thoughts
that kept flowing around in my head. I couldnt stop questioning myself.
As for my final draft Mrs. Ingram suggested I use a different perspective. She commented on
using a third persons point of view. I thought why not? Its not going to be that hard anymore. It
seemed easier than I had in mind, but it was challenging. I had to add in more details of what that
person wouldve noticed that I didnt and keep it in present tense from the narrators point. Doing
this narrative I found out how much I appreciate the little descriptive words, variety of forms
literacy comes in, and incorporate inner dialogue.
MIDTERM: As the semester went on and we were busy completing our final drafts with our
narratives, midterms had arrived. I was shocked that we had been in class for a full eight weeks,
but it didnt exactly feel like it. For the midterm we had to complete a set of questions. Questions
that were reflective. If I hadnt been given this question about the 9 key concepts Which ones
seem the most challenging and why? I dont think I wouldve realized I needed to learn to give
back better constructive criticism instead of focusing on the grammar and punctuation aspect of
the paper. Another thing was to become more confident about my writing. I was insecure about
my writing not being up to my peers levels, but no one is ever ahead in writing. You can tell
how unconfident I was in my writing and in peer editing by the response I gave back, I dont

think that my writing is as strong as my group members. In high school peer editing wasnt
something we did every week or so. It was graded by the teacher and if we ever switched
papers with peers it was to correct our punctuation and grammatical errors. We all have
our own pace and level where we feel that weve written the best we can. Being aware of this I
started to see that I needed to step out more than I actually was and learn to give good feedback.
At the beginning of the semester we read an article about what to look for when revising a paper
and made a do and dont class list of what to do and not do when revising. That list
tremendously helped me when I didnt know what to look for, when we first got into our peer
groups. Now Ive gotten the hang of it, giving suggestions, and pinpointing areas where I know
the author can elaborate more on. Reading the midterm Ive realized that I learned more than I
thought about my strengths, weaknesses, writing rituals, and how to rhetorically analyze
different types of literature.
PORTRAIT OF A WRITER : The last major paper we had was portrait of a writer. I found this
essay very challenging because I had to answer questions of who am I? as a writer. This of
course wasnt easy for me to figure out, since I was still discovering who I was. Also we had to
answer these questions without sounding like we read them straight off the paper, it had to flow.
But through writing multiple drafts of this essay I attempted answering every question
incorporating my voice, sensory details, and took risks. I took risks by writing what I felt,
detailing my weakness, and quoting from my favorite authors, which was something Id neverdone before. For the author I quoted from Elie Wiesel from the book, Night, I chose him because
in his work he always made sure his audience, the readers could visualize what was happening:

It was pitch dark. I could hear only the violin, and it was as though Juliek's soul were the bow.
He was playing his life. The whole of his life was gliding on the strings--his last hopes, his
charred past, his extinguished future. He played as he would never play again...

In my first draft I had an essay that sounded like I had answered right off the paper. With peer
review one of my group members, Joselyn left suggestions and questions such as elaborate
more on your writing process, quote from your favorite authors, and show examples of
your weaknesses. Her feedback forced me to look back at what I thought was a good paper and
turn it into a great essay. I saw where I could add, elaborate, take out, and be more detailed. All
of a sudden I knew what the essay was missing, but now I needed to identify which examples
and quotes I wanted to use.
In class we did an exercise called mind-mapping, I was able to identify which
examples and quotes to use. Most importantly I had an idea of what kind of writer I was, which I
had previously not been sure of. While my peers had things like Im the writer who showcases
her voice or Im a writer who passionately writes about... I had nothing but now I did.

I know one thing is for sure that visuals, descriptions, and connections are what I try to
portray in my stories for my audience. Im always going to be striving to do better and improve
in all aspects of my writing. Im slowly and progressively discovering more who I am as a writer
and can only get better.

After the second draft, I received feedback I was aiming for from a former group member:

Youre right one of your strengths is definitely descriptive language. You use so many details
throughout your essay that I almost forgot Im reading an essay Youve got a really creative
way of putting your thoughts down on paper

Reading this made me happy. Yes I had a few minor errors but I had accomplished what I
wanted my audience to feel like: engaged in my essay where they felt like they were the
characters.
WILDCARD : For my wildcard tab I decided on including two pieces of writing from two very
distinct classes. One is about multicultural and how it has shaped my perspective. I was confused
by this assignment when we were given it. I thought about culture, ethics, and language. I
questioned myself how has culture shaped me? Has language given me a different worldview? I
didnt know whether it had but the more I thought about it the more I realized that yes they have.
My parents instilled in me basic core values that play a role in my everyday thoughts, feelings,
and actions. I take them into consideration but as Ive matured Ive realized their only
temporary. The experiences Ive had have made me develop a new value that I once thought
might not have made any sense or wasnt true. But with the new incident it changes your whole
mindset.
It was interesting thinking about how language had played a role in my worldview because it
somewhat related to the blog post we had one about writing in academic vs. conversational style.
They were different styles but they both were important for a student to know how to write. I
added a picture of a set of six people from various backgrounds. The other paper I included was
from my LBST class on Universal Healthcare. It required me to do some research based on what
my opinion was in order to have a paper with well supported sources. This was at the beginning

of the semester and I wasnt as confident as I am now with truly displaying my opinions and
voice:
I do believe that everyone should have access to health insurance. Why you may ask?
Everyone should be able to go to a primary care provider without having to worry about the cost
because they arent insured. Families of all social status have a right to medical care and should
not be neglected due to lack of insurance. Its a right every citizen should have to protect and
check up on their health.
Reading it now I know I couldve done a lot better, but this was a small piece of what I would be
encountering in my writing class. More so in my blogs where I had to voice my opinions and
thoughts.
ARTIFACTS : Last but not least was the notebook artifacts tab. In this tab I went with choosing
artifacts that truly helped me in this class. Some are notes and others are Reader Response
Letters. On the top are notes that I took after we did a short activity with our groups. We listed
down what to do and not do when peer editing. This was new to me and going over as a class this
list was very useful. There were times when I would get stuck when editing and I would refer
back to that. Now Id like I have truly mastered it. I give advice, suggestions, comment on their
performance, write complete sentences, and am the reader. I have two RRLs that I feel made
me think harder than usual. Both of the topics gave me an insight into what I was going to expect
in my writing class and how to find my voice. Hearing Voices: Yours, Mine, Others, is an
article I had chosen to read about in our book. This article was different from most of them
because he had an array of activities to do. Each one was to help the reader recognize and
compare the different voices of writing. How they were all unique depending on the situation and
to help you discover your style. One quote he had said was:

Dont fret about your writing. Improve by doing, and do often. Think about the way you write,
the voices you use, your audience, your rhetorical situation, and the writing clothes you want to
wear. And remember: You have many outfits and many options. Your writing matters because
you leave traces of yourself for your readers.
I believe this quote is true. You always want to make sure to make every writing piece the best
and make your reader want more from you. The more you write the better the get. Without
practice there is no level of aiming high or goals.
CONCLUSION: Overall this class has tremendously helped me in developing a writing process,
thinking critically, showcasing my voice, taking risks, and coming out of my comfort zone. Ive
had to become familiar to editing someone elses paper and suggestions to give back. Peer
groups have given me their perspective on my writing and thats made me look at my papers that
way so that I too can analyze areas where I can improve in. By far the biggest growth Ive
experienced in this class is that Ive become more confident in my writing. Weve had so many
different writing assignments throughout this semester that have been beneficial to my writing
experiences, specifically the reflective assignments. I know that this is only a head start to
prepare me for my college classes but it has a very crucial class where Ive been progressively
developing my style of writing. Where Ive discovered the importance it is to understand what
youre writing, to who, and how youre going to compose it for your audience.