Solehdin 1

Nabeel Solehdin
Professor Corri Ditch
English 114A
9 December 2014
Nonconformers

Society is a place people think of as living together in an organized community with

shared laws, traditions, and values. Society tells the people within it how to live their life and
what is right and wrong. Sex refers to male and female but gender refers to masculine and
feminine (Lorber 19). In the essays Night to His Day: The Social Construction of Gender by
Judith Lorber, and No Way My Boys Are Going to Be Like That: Parents Responses to
Childrens Gender Nonconformity by Emily Kane, they both refer to society constructing gender
in a way where those who oppose gender are punished. The author informs society about the
struggle for the nonconformers.
Sex and Gender is commonly mistaken for each other which creates discrimination of sex
and misinterpretation of gender. Sex is biological meaning that it corresponds with the two
reproductive organs (Lorber 21). How a male and female is distinguished is when a baby is born
showing its sexual organ and can be changed with surgery or with specific hormone pills. Gender
is described as how the sex performs; masculine and feminine (Lorber 22). The idea of
masculine and feminine is created from society, for example Women are constructed to have a
sole purpose for nurturing and taking care of children (Kane 91). Men are constructed to provide
for the family and protect it with dominance. Masculinity corresponds to male and femininity

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corresponds to female, so if either sex oppose to the constructed gender, they are nonconforming.
Those who rebel against societys construction are being placed in a state of judgment and social
punishment because they are not normal compared to everyone. For instance, a single father was
on a bus taking care of his child and the child was wearing a baseball cap and earrings (Lorber
19). The citizens on the bus were silently applauding the father because normally a child is
being taken care of by the mother (Lorber 19). This states that the opposite gender cannot
perform the opposite gender performance without being pointed out. The father was also being
judged by the citizens on the bus because the babys gender was not distinguished because it
was wearing males sports gear and womens earrings. Due to a societal norm of men to sports
and women to jewelry, the father does not distinguish the baby causing the people in the train to
judge him.
These punishments are quite rare to come upon because not everyone conforms towards
gender but in one instance I also saw discrimination towards a couple who showed an opposite
gender role. There was a husband who was a stay home husband who took care of two children
and a wife that works at a corporate job providing income to the house. I stumbled upon two
neighbors at the park and ease dropped on the conversation about that particular family because
they were talking negative towards them. I overheard that they thought the husband had no
balls because he was at home taking care of the children instead of working and making money.
This shows that the society automatically thinks that men are supposed to be the dominant one in
the house by providing income for the house instead of the woman. A social punishment was
created on the husband leading him to be judged for a normal lifestyle which conforms to
societys lifestyle. It also questioned me that the wife did not get as judged as husband did

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because society says women stay at home and takes care of the children (Lorber 29-30). The
husband portrayed more femininity than masculinity to the neighbors talking at the park.
Naturally society goes by gender with male to masculine and female to feminine, so if
either male or female performs the opposite gender, then they are going against society. For
instance, transgender people dress and act opposing societys idea of gender because that is their
personal preference. A transgender who was born with a male genetalia that acts feminine gets
made fun and called names because they are not going according to their gender. According to
society, a masculine person is defined as strong, dominant, and athletic, whereas feminine is
defined as weak, dependent, and domestic. I work with a transgender female who displays
appearance and behaves masculine. My coworker acts dominant and lifts weights to emphasis
her muscles. At our picnic we played basketball and she played above average compared to the
men. She dresses in slacks, t-shirt, and cut her hair very short. My coworker told me as she grew
up, she was picked on and teased by all the kids from school because she was different but not
only that she was also homosexual. Society displays males as dominant so her belief was that
because she acts and dresses like a male, women look more attractive because they are needy of
her dominance. She conformed against society and was punished and judged by the kids from
school.
Parents enforce gender based roles according to how society is because it creates a better
life for the child. In Emily W. Kanes essay, No Way My Boys Are Going to Be Like That:
Parents Responses to Childrens Gender, parents use negative language to express gender to
their children with toys. Parents tell their baby boy not to play with Barbies because its a girls
toy (Kane 92). The reasoning for parents to keep opposite genders toys away is to keep their boy

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on the right path of societys idea of gender. They would enforce footballs or other athletic
equipment because they want them to be active and strong instead of playing with Barbies and
weak. Parents are also concerned about homosexuality along with bullying to their child because
as a homosexual boy who shows feminine performance at school, the kids who did not grow up
to a difference in performance will be bullied. Bullying is a huge punishment created from
society for kids because it destroys confidence and self-esteem which is detrimental to a childs
growth. Parents do not want their child to suffer from bullying because they play with Barbies
instead of trucks. Parents are not completely concerned on just bullying because of
homosexuality.
Homosexuality plays a big concern for parents because society looks down upon them.
For instance, society creates the idea that having a different sexual orientation makes a person
inferior to all. In Kanes essay, a father talks about feeling like a failure if his boy turned out
homosexual because of his pleasure of playing with Barbies (Kane 96). Society tells the father
that if a boy shows the opposite gender performance, he will automatically be homosexual.
Sexual orientation has nothing to do with gender because gender is the performance of a person
while sexual orientation is the preference of attractiveness. The father feels that society will
punish him and his child for being homosexual which shows that he is worried if he conforms
against it.
According to the father in Kanes essay, he felt that his child will be homosexual because
of showing feminine gender. In high school, I was very close friends with a quarterback from
football who happened to be homosexual. He had a boyfriend who was also very much into
sports and both had a lot of muscles to show strength. They portrayed societys expectation of

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gender perfectly with masculinity but they were still being punished and judged because of their
sexual orientation. Gender plays a big part of the homosexual lifestyle because society
automatically assumes that homosexuals are naturally feminine when in fact they are not.
Nonconformists have it rough because they want a lifestyle that they can create
themselves without society telling them it is not correct. Lorber and Kanes essays both share
stories that create struggles for those who act against societys way of gender. The purpose of
both essays are to inform the society that there is many people in the world who want to have a
life of no judgment or punished for being a certain way. The authors make the effort to take a
step into revolutionizing the way society thinks about nonconformists.