THIS CONFIDENTIAL REPORT CONTAINS SENSITIVE INFORMATION AND IS FOR CLIENT USE

ONLY. IT IS SUBMITTED IN ANTICIPATION OF FUTURE LITIGATION AND SHOULD ALWAYS BE

CONSIDERED INVESTIGATOR/CLIENT WORK PRODUCT.
ANY REPLICATION, SHARING, OR VIEWING OF THE FOLLOWING DOCUMENT IS STRICTLY
PROHIBITED EXCEPT AS AUTHORIZED BY THE CLIENT.
CONFIDENTIAL INVESTIGATIVE REPORT
October 11, 2014

Client

Subject/Claimant(s)

Alexander T. Wolf
AKA Zeke Midas or Big Bad
1895 J. Jacobs Ave
New York, NY 10027

File Number
Injuries
Insured
Date of Loss
Subject(s) DOB
Race:
Under Investigation
Home (Total Loss)
N/A

PREVIOUS CLAIMS
TYPE OF CLAIM
REPORTED INJURY
INVESTIGATOR
ASSIGNMENT
OBJECTIVE
CASE STATUS

Fifer H. Pig
Fiddler S. Pig
Practical B. Pig
(Note: Claimants are triplets)
14-054056-3
N/A
Grimm, Jacobs & Avery Insurance
5/27/1933
Unknown (1895?)
Anthropomorphic Pigs

Eddie Valiant
Insurance Investigation, Surveillance (Hourly Rate)
To investigate, observe, and document all activities of the subjects, their
associates, and their finances in relation to Total Loss Claim #14-054056-3, and the
events surrounding the incident; particularly in regards to the involvement of B.B.
A. Wolf (Client) and the accusations against him, as well as his claims of the Pig
familys fraudulent insurance claims.
Pending Further Investigation upon Clients request.

PRELIMINARY INVESTIGATION
Preliminary Investigative efforts in the above referenced matter included a thorough review of the Pig
Familys Policy with the insured, Grimm, Jacobs & Avery Insurance, along with both civil and criminal
background checks for the claimants, a review of all provided police statements, and the defensive claims
asserted by A. Wolf (hereafter referred to as Client).

PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION OF SUBJECTS

The subjects can be described as monozygotic, anthropomorphic triplets of the genus Sus, within the
Suidae family of even-toed ungulates. Subjects are heavy-set (obese), and are of average height.
Subjects are also documented as being musically inclined, and it has been stated that Fifer Pig toots his
flute, doesn't give a hoot and plays around all day," while Fiddler Pig "with a hey diddle diddle, plays on
his fiddle and dances all kinds of jigs" and Practical Pig plays the piano.
Valiant & Valiant Investigations
Los Angeles, LA

Investigative Report
Page 2 of 4

SUBJECT PHOTOS

RESIDENTIAL ASSESSMENT
The Home of Fifer Pig can be described as a single story, single family residence, of straw/hay
construction, and has suffered catastrophic wind damage (Total Loss)

The Home of Fiddler Pig can also be described as a single story, single family residence, but unlike
Fifers residence, is constructed of stick/twig/branches. It too suffered catastrophic wind damage (Total
Loss)

Investigative Report
Page 3 of 4

The home of Practical Pig suffered no damage from the incident and can be described as a two story,
multi-family, red brick home. Assessment is included for investigative purposes only, as the two previous
claimants are known to frequent their brothers home.

CASE SUMMARY
After recently completing construction of their new homes, the Pig family asserts that they were
repeatedly harassed by Client, who ultimately caused the destruction of both Fifer and Fiddlers
residences, causing both to suffer grievous bodily harm, substantial loss of quality of life, along with
mental pain and anguish.
Police Report Excerpt:
Client: Little pig, little fatty, let me come in."
Claimants: "No, no, not by the hair on my chinny chin chin."
Client: "Then I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house down."
Its stated the Client, in a fit of rage, made good on his threats and did in fact blow down the subjects
homes, causing a Total Loss of property. The Pig familys home owners insurance policy covers both
wind damage and arson, as well as vandalism, as causes for relief, so the brothers Fifer and Fiddler filed
claims against the damages on 5/27/33 (the same day as the incident). Additionally, both civil and
criminal charges were filed against Client seeking restitution for his alleged crimes against them.
Client asserts that first and foremost, had he been able to blow down not just one, but two homes, it
should be considered an act of God, as it is so preposterous of a suggestion and so physically
improbable, the only way it could have occurred as stated would be if God himself was involved. In
addition, if true, should not have resulted in the payout of any premiums, as the Pig family policy does not
cover Acts of God as a cause for relief.
Client also states that he was targeted by the Pig family in what amounts to a hate crime. He claims that
because of his Jewish Faith, the Pig brothers used him as a patsy in order to aid in their plan to commit
insurance fraud, and support their racist agendas; an argument ignored by the trial court.

Investigative Report
Page 4 of 4

FACTS:
Client is employed as a Home Inspector and claims that when he first noticed the Pig familys new
construction efforts, he attempted to locate the necessary permits for their residences but was unable to
do so. Upon further investigation, he discovered two of the three homes were not compliant with state
building regulations (lacking structural support and being made of purely stick and/or hay). When he
attempted to speak with the homeowners about this, he claims he was ridiculed, subjected to racial slurs
from the porcine German brothers regarding his Jewish heritage, physical appearance, and Shylock
Nose, and was ultimately framed for the destruction of their homes in an elaborate Insurance Scam.
Finding it suspicious that the claimants, supposedly in distress, filed their insurance claims the very same
day as the incident, both Theodore Valiant and I, Edward Valiant, began looking for additional
surveillance footage from the day in question in order to refute the damning video used against Client in
trial.
The following enclosures (marked Evidence A and B) demonstrates that additional surveillance cameras
did in fact capture the entire event, and that the evidence used in trial against Mr. Wolf had been
tampered with. The content of the videos and fraudulent manipulation of evidence indicates the claims
made by Client should be given further review, and the Claimants assets frozen due to unjust
enrichment, until such a time when a complete and thorough investigation can be conducted.
Evidence A Original

Evidence B Altered

END OF REPORT