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5.

1
Laura Proven
Complicating Normal
For my first book this week, I read Parrotfish by Ellen Wittlinger.
The main conflict in the book is that Angela is transitioning from female
to male and becoming Grady during high school. I like that Wittlinger
chose to write the book in first person, the perspective of Grady, so we
can see his thoughts and feelings about the situations he faces. One
thing that we are being asked to consider this week is the concept of a
problem and what is normal. I think one of the most interesting
things about Parrotfish is that at least in my interpretation of it, what
Grady considers to be normal is actually a problem for everyone
else; at least for a while. There are moments in the book where
Gradys narration tells the readers that he cant understand why his
own personal decision is affecting everyones lives so negatively. In
fact, in a conversation with his mom and aunt, his mom refers to his
problems (or his former self, Angela), and Grady responds with, I dont
have any problems (Wittlinger, 66). Since he feels he was always a
boy, the transition is finally Gradys way of being normal and living a
regular life rather than one in hiding and denial. However, to people
viewing (and in some cases judging) the situation from the outside, it
appears that Grady is creating a problem. Different characters identify
the problem differently. Some teachers and friends think it is just for
attention, others think its just a phase and a rash decision. Throughout
the story, Grady reiterates that the whole thing is not his fault or a
choice, but just finally an opportunity to straighten things out and live
the life [he] was supposed to live (67).
Based on my prior thinking about LGBT issues, this seemed to
confirm my thinking. Most of our gender identity (and even sexual
identity) develops at a very young age, and it doesnt appear to be a
choice. At one point in the book, Laura asks Grady why he likes doing
this because it is ruining her life, and he has to tell her that he doesnt
like it; its not fun for him. There were some moments in the book that
really made me think, such as when Grady was walking home and
thinking about the metaphorical football field. He suggests that there
is sort of a continuum of gender rather than strictly twowith the most
masculine male at one end and the most feminine female at the other
end (129). He mentions that so many people feel the need to act one
way or another, like Russ feeling he has to act macho, and if he
doesnt, hes automatically labeled a sissy (229). In that sense,
Gradys decision to just act as masculine or as feminine as he wants is
more normal than people who associate with their born identity but
strive to reach stereotypical forms of it by pretending. Another thing
that made me think was on this walk home, when Grady is thinking
about how people change a lot of personal things all the time, like hair
color, dieting, plastic surgery, religions, etc. (132). It was very eye
opening to consider all the things that we do change about ourselves

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Laura Proven
to make us feel better, more confident, and more like us, so why cant
gender be one of those things?
I didnt have a ton of personal issues with the book. I noticed that
it focused on a lot more than just Grady being transgendered. There
were the usual coming-of-age issues, like making friends at a new
school, dealing with the embarrassment of a wacky family, and how to
handle friendships that go south. The only things I didnt really like
were some things that didnt feel completely believable to me, but
having very limited experience with these things, I suppose I cant say
for sure. One thing that I felt was unusual was the lack of support from
the principal and other teachers, especially if there had been another
student years back who was transgendered. I was glad to see there
were a few advocate staff members, but it was frustrating to see the
portrayal of many teachers as sort of old-school, by-the-book,
stereotypical adults. I also didnt think that everyone would be so
quick to turn on Danya, the school bully. I feel like realistically, it would
take a lot more than one incident for a person like that to end up with
all her friends turning on her, but it did make for a nice element of the
storythe fact that people in the school gradually started to support
Grady rather than tease him.
While this community support is not unrealistic in itself, I just
think that it happened very quickly in the book. For as much of a
struggle as it was for his family and friends to accept the transition at
first, they seemed to very quickly ease into using the correct pronouns
and simply accepting Grady for who he is. I think this promotes a
wonderful message, and actually, even as a reader, by the end of the
book I kind of forgot that Grady was ever Angela because of the way it
was written. However, it maybe is slightly concerning just for the fact
that a reader dealing with this same issue may be reading about an
idealized version of what may occur in his/her life.
As a teacher, my apprehensions of using this book are very
general. Of course, I am not a high school teacher, and I think this is
teen literature, so it would be too mature for the students I directly
teach. However, I think it would make me nervous to use because of
parent reactions, not just for the content but the language and
profanity used throughout the book. While I think that I personally
have a pretty accepting view of LGBT topics, I know that not everyone
is. In an age where people will look for just about any reason to jump
on the teacher bashing bandwagon, it makes me nervous to want to
rock the boat. I know that may not be the right mentality because we
need to promote acceptance and change, but I just think that teachers
have sort of been put in a position to be politically correct in every
situation. In promoting LGBT literature, I may not be revealing my
personal feelings on the issues one way or another, but many parents
may view it as me pushing their kids to be LGBT. While I know that
isnt the case, it is tough to want to risk job stability and reputation for

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Laura Proven
it. In my heart, though, I know the incorporation of LGBT lit to the
classroom could do wonders for any students I may have who identify
as LGBT or questioning, and I do think it is important to have all
readers, regardless of their sexual or gender identity, to read books
about different types of characters. Parrotfish, for example, is a book
that many students might be able to relate to because of the variety of
issues mentioned above (family, friends, etc.). This is an issue I
havent completely worked through yet in my own mind, because as a
new teacher I still struggle between what is right (and maybe best for
all students) and what will keep parents happy. In any case, my
general issue with the book was that because of the language and
occasional talk of sex, this would be a read for older kids, not the ones
I work with.
One thing I found interesting in the Clark and Blackburn article,
Reading LGBT Literature with Young People: Whats Possible? is
related to exactly that point. They say that while using LGBT texts in
the classroom is promoted, there isnt a lot of documentation of how it
is actually being used, and people do not provide the concrete images
of practice that novice teachersmay need to gauge to possibilities for
using LGBT-themed literature in their work (Clark and Blackburn, 2).
They also mention how struggling students can feel out of place and
uncomfortable at school because of the assumed homophobia. In one
case, a school provided students with the option not to read the
literature if it made them uncomfortable, but then there was the tacit
suggestion that it was acceptable to maintain a homophobic position in
this classroom (Clark and Blackburn, 3). So my wondering is, how can
you require students to read a text that their family believes promotes
something morally wrong (we cant escape the religion factor, here),
and yet still maintain a classroom where homophobia is not accepted?
Its a very tricky thing for me to grasp. Lisa Loutzenheiser spoke to this
in How Schools Play Smear the Queer when she directly states that
people are afraid to address it because of the religious disagreement
(Loutzenheiser, 1). I know she is right, but it is still difficult to know
how to put into action!
Clark and Blackburn also touch on the different portrayals of
LGBT literature, and I feel like Parrotfish could fit in with at least two of
them, or in some ways, possibly all 3! It fits into homosexual visibility
in some ways because Gradys transition does drive the story.
However, he is shown to deal with many similar issues as straight
people do, and eventually just kind of seems like a normal guy, so it
could also fit into the gay assimilation category. Finally, it almost
could fit into the queer consciousness/community category because
Grady isnt alone. There are no other gay characters in the book, but
we do see that his school becomes very accepting of him, and in some
cases, really stand up for him and admire his bravery, and Grady ends
up with several friendsmore than he had when he was still Angela

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(Wittlinger, 253). The fact that it could fit into any of these categories,
but not necessarily one on its own, indicates to me that it is a book
that isnt didactic or preachy in teaching people about what its like to
be LGBT or the importance of accepting them. It feels like a realistic
fiction novel.
I think that Loutzenheisers article has left me with the most
important messages this week. One of the things she writes that
resonates with me is that while we often dont allow blatant
homophobia in the classroom, like name calling, but that heterosexism,
or assuming that everyone is straight, can be just as damaging
(Loutzenheiser, 2). She discusses how closeted or questioning youth
may feel isolated or unsafe because they know they are different and
dont know how others will react if they talk about what they are
feeling (Loutzenheiser, 3). If we as teachers can already put the
conversation out there, then there is less worry about what will happen
if these students bring it up. She suggests putting yourself in the shoes
of someone in your class who may not be heterosexual, and consider if
anything you are saying makes them feel invisible or inferior, because
these feelings are just as bad as being blatantly discriminated about
(5). I think that reading this article in particular has helped ease some
of my apprehension when I first started writing the paper. One thing
that I think would be helpful would be to know that the entire school,
administration, and even school board were on board with teaching
this curriculum, not only for support for teachers, but also support for
students on a larger level than simply one isolated teacher in a
building. The more people who are talking about it, the more
comfortable all students will be, regardless of their sexual identity
because they will know they can talk to many different adults about
any issues they are feeling.
The second book I read this week was Out of My Mind by Sharon
Draper. I was eager to read this book since the moment I saw our
syllabus because it was a choice mentor text for one of our fifth grade
reading units. I wasnt able to choose this book to read to my class
because all the other teachers got their hands on it first, and there
werent enough copies left! But, from the year before, I knew that it
was a popular choice for both teachers and students, and ultimately a
must-read for me.
As soon as I started the book and read Melodys description of
herself, I immediately thought of a student in our school named Abby. I
dont know if Abby has Cerebral Palsy or something else, but she too is
non-verbal and almost immobile. In fact, she has curly brown hair as
well! I know Abby through her older sister, whom I coached in tennis. I
think reading Out of My Mind was a great book for me to read to help
me relate to students like Melody and Abby. I have always tried to
speak directly to Abby and not to her aide, but it sometimes is hard to

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Laura Proven
know what to say or how long to engage in the conversation, so
reading Melodys thoughts helps me understand some things that Abby
might possibly be thinking when I talk with her.
I dont have many personal issues with this text. I thought it was
written in a respectful and yet informative way. I was so fascinated by
the obstacles Melody has to face and her positive, yet very realistic,
response to them. I think that the most noticeable feature about
Melody is her sense of humor, sarcasm, and quick-wit. These are all
qualities that a lot of us have, and not only does it help students
without disabilities appreciate Melodys character, I think its helpful to
see that she can find some humor in the life she lives and the
classmates she is surrounded by. Humor is a very real way to deal with
obstacles, and I think all of us can think of a time where we were so
discouraged or frustrated with something in life that we eventually just
throw our hands up, laugh, and find ways to cope by using mild selfdeprecation. In some ways, I think Melodys humor alleviates any
discomfort or uncertainty of the reader because we can laugh along
with her to ease any tension. Her narration tells us that she finally feels
a part of the group when she can make jokes to the class or snide
remarks to people who ask why she is the way she is, like her
programmed response of, We all have disabilities. Whats yours?
(Draper, 168). Melodys personality shines through in this book, maybe
more than her physical disabilities do, and it not only pushes our
thinking about what people with physical limitations can do, but also
helps us see that Melody is in a lot of ways, just as normal as the rest
of us.
The only issues I really had with this book were in regards to the
insensitive characters, like Claire and Molly and Mr. Dimming. It was
surprising to me how blatantly hurtful Claire and Molly could be in front
of teachers and parents, and they were basically just told to hush up.
No one ever spoke directly with these girls to show there should be
consequences for people who treat others that way. Similarly for Mr.
Dimming, who made the statement that if Melody got the highest score
on the practice quiz, it must be too easy (Draper, 155). If an educator
made a statement like that about any student, regardless of any
disabilities, he would really be in for it. The fact that he is never really,
truly an advocate for a child who played a role in helping him achieve
his dream of winning the quiz bowl is pretty discouraging. And what is
worse, he is never reprimanded for his actions either. While I know that
the story is meant not to make Melody superhuman or indicate a false
sense of reality (that she doesnt face discriminatory people), I do wish
that Draper had included a little more justice for these characters.
The reason why I feel this way is one of my issues as a teacher
with the book, in that for students reading this who may be more
prejudiced, I fear that seeing these characters get away with acting
that way, they may feel they can too. Its almost the opposite end of

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the spectrum from Parrotfish. Danyas punishment and becoming a
social outcast seemed so over the top that it was unrealistic, where in
Out of My Mind, there doesnt seem to be any repercussions for
mistreating people. I suppose there are moments of slight karma
other characters call out Claire for claiming to be Melodys friend and
the team loses without Melody, but ultimately there arent really any
consequences. I also think its kind of a bummer that Melody, even
with a voice, still doesnt have even one person her age that she can
call a friend by the end of the story. I can see where Draper wanted to
keep the book authentic, and not get too over-the-top with a fairy tale
ending, but it would have been nice to see something more optimistic,
where she starts to connect more with students who are able-bodied
and able-minded, just to show young readers that it is possible to be
friends, not just acquaintences, with someone who has a similar
disability as Melody.
Joan Blaska says in her article, Childrens Literature that
Includes Characters with Disabilities or Illnesses that books can serve
as both a window and a mirror, a metaphor that I have read a couple
times this week. They serve as mirrors to students who want to see
characters with similar experiences as their own. They serve as
windows for children to look beyond their own experiences and learn
about those of others (Blaska, 1). For me, this book was a window, as I
was able to read about the thoughts and feelings of a character living a
life of literal silence. Children like Melody are not often able to tell their
story, and being able to read hers, even though it was fictional, felt like
a new world of understanding was opening up for me.
I think many students would also feel the way I did, in fact, I
know students do based on the responses of the fifth graders in my
school to this book. However, I think Draper was able to write the
story and develop Melody in a way that many students might use this
book as a mirror as well. There are many struggles that Melody faces
that most of us do not, due to her disability. But she also, like Grady in
Parrotfish, faces challenges and has experiences that many of us can
relate to, such as wanting to feel a part of a team, the struggle of
achieving an academic goal, wanting to be normal. In Swimming
the Mainstream: A Discussion of Criteria for Evaluating Childrens
Literature about Disabilities, Eve Tal says that in many books, the
disability is the focus of the entire story rather than an integral part of
a character exploring universal situations understood by every reader
(Tal, 2). I do feel like the primary focus of the story is on Melodys
disability, but it doesnt focus on her limitationsit focuses on her
possibilities and her desire to do more than her body allows. I think
Draper writes about her disability more as an obstacle Melody has to
overcome rather than a defining attribute of who she is and will ever
be. In that sense, there is deeper meaning to the parts of the story
that focus directly on her disability because readers may relate on a

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Laura Proven
different level, like how hard it can be to communicate to parents or
teachers. While Melodys struggle with communication is different
than mine, I still can relate to the issue of wanting so badly to say
something to someone, but not being able to find the words or the
correct context to say it. I can also relate to the tornado fits she has
when I just explode with anger. In this way, even though a large
portion of the book is about Melodys disability, I think it serves more
as a way to help us understand her frustrations, her desires, and her
achievements as a character than it serves to preach about her
condition.
It is interesting that in these two novels this week, both
characters wanted so badly to be normal, but I honestly think that
everyone has that same desire because we all see flaws in ourselves.
Some people may want to have normal parents, live in a normal house,
have a normal body weight, or have normal teeth. Both Grady and
Melody wanted to be like everybody else, and yet so much of being an
adolescent (and sometimes even as an adult) involves the exact same
thing. In that sense, Grady and Melody are more normal than they
may think, because the rest of us normal folks are just trying to be like
other normal people anyway! The problem and goal is really the same,
regardless of sexual orientation or disability. We all have things we
dislike about ourselves, or things that we think make us stand out in a
bad way. All we want is to fit in. Fortunately, in both books this week,
there is a message that can be sent both to students who use them as
mirrors and students who use them as windows. The message is (which
rang out clearly in both texts) that people admire confidence, and if we
all stop trying to be like each other, and stop trying to be normal, we
can find a real appreciation in our unique differences, and those
differences are what truly make us normal.

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