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SundayMarch8,2015|devo20

MarriagePostcollege

HiSeniors:)

Sometimes a pic like this can


evokeanawwworayikes.

Butwhy?

I suppose its partly because


adding that till death do us part
is a pretty big deal. Theres alot
of emotions, convictions and
insecurities that cansurface.And
it should give usreasontopause
because its sobering. Butwhatif
those feelings of intense commitment to another person werent novel? What if they were
representativeofhowwefelttowardsourbrothersandsistersinChrist?

For Ellynn and I, this is ourlastsemesteratBrown.Werenotyetsurewhats next.Werenot


even sure if well be stayingin Rhode Island. But wellbefinewehaveeachother,wehave
Anthony. That kind of selfishness is amplified tenfold when our housemate confronts us with
the stress that
she is confronted with as a direct result of our potential decisions.She is our
Christian sister. Paul talks about how
we belong to her
. Jesus prays thatwe would
be one
with her
. But howquickly marriagecanbecomeanoutforthatlevelofcommitment(similarto
neglectingfriendswhenwegetintoaseriousdatingrelationship).

I love marriage being married to Ellynn is a huge blessing. But I cannot deny the
anxiety
spoken of by Paul. If you desire to be married, it is a worthwhilescripture tomeditateonand
prepare yourself by developing your
nonnegotiable community conviction
. Several of
these devos have related back to the biblical need/blessingof thebodyofChrist.Thissimply
addsyetanotherdynamictoGodsdesignforHischurch.

Understandably, marriage postcollege is a bigtopicwithmany nuanceswhatwerecovering


here is justoneofmany.ButIdowantustodream specificallyfor amoment...Thestrengthof
our commitment to our spouse should strengthen our commitment to ourbrothersandsister
in Christ. And the strength of our commitment to our brothers and sisters in Christ should
strengthen our commitment to our spouse. Imagine the body of Christ livingthatway in the
local church howpowerfullywouldGodmovethroughthemtorespondtotherelationalhurts
ofthesurroundingcommunity?

So there is a definite missionaldesign to the collaboration betweenamarriedcoupleandthe


Body. There is also a designednecessityamutualedification.SarahandChrisweremarried
their last year at Brown.Shesharedthesethoughtsinresponsetothequestion,Whatadvice
wouldyougivetothegraduatingSeniors?

I dont want to sound negative, but communities like the Branch can be
REALLY hardto find outsideof college.Istillhavenotfoundanythingremotely
like the Branch in Chicago or NYC, and feel an acute sense of losswithout a
closeknit Godfocused spiritual community. Sure, people attend church and
small groups all over the place, but as you might find, they can really varyin
terms of the tangible presence of God, how much they are oriented towards
spiritual growth (versus friendship with each other, with God rather far in the
background), and how much emotional/spiritual support your fellow
churchgoers will go out of their way to provide for you. I remember in the
Branch, people prayed for me all the time, but in urban churches that I have
been too,prayerandBiblestudyareno longergivensinagroupsetting.Somy
advice wouldbe to prepareyourselfforwhatitwillbeliketonolongerhavethe
community of the Branch/other Christians at Brown what will you do to stay
close to God on a daily basis if you are no longer around any Christians
seeking Godonadailybasis?
Howcanyoucultivatethekindofcommunity
you might miss from Brown if it does not already exist atachurch?Also
think about how you can prayerfully discern if God wants you at a
particular church? I dont have answers to these questions I am still
strugglingwithallofthem.Basically,IreallymisstheBranch!

Sarah and Chris are a supercute couple:)TheirloveisapparentasisGodsblessingshes


talked about the incredible support Chris has provided during the transitions these past few
years of being newlyweds whichiswhyhercandirabove istrulyvaluable.Shecouldvefound
complete solace in Gods provision ofChrisinherlife.Remember pastFridaysat theBranch,
how much John hates that line from the movie Jerry Maguire, You complete me? Im so
proudofSarahandChristheyarentsettlingforthatlie.Considertheseopinions...

I know that for my husband and me, having a loving community thatsupports
us makes a huge differencein our marriage. When you feel isolated, it is a lot
hardertobehappywithyourselforyourspouse.~BarbaraRayofKnotYet

...couples considering marriage should look to the quality of their love,


maturity, and community support. Be they 25 or 35, couples who have the
makings of a strong marital friendship,whoarereadytoputaside partyingand
the PlayStation, and who enjoythesupportoffriendsandfamilyaremostlikely
to go the distance. For them, true love need not wait. ~Bradford Wilcox of
NationalMarriageProject

For Ellynn and I, this pending transition is helping us to see just how important Ashley (our
housemate) is in our lives (and vice versa). Again, marriage is a big topic, lots of
nuances...lots of temptations for the couple to become isolated. But that is not what God
intended. Our membership and dynamic involvement in the Body of Christis Godsintention
nomatterwhatstageoflifewefindourselves.Iprayyouwhoarereadingthiswontforget:)

Heresacoupleinterestingarticlesaddressingtheeffectsofmarryinglaterorearlierinlife
andthevalueofcommunitytothemarriedcouple.
http://www.theatlantic.com/sexes/archive/2013/03/gettingmarriedlaterisgreatforcollegeed
ucatedwomen/274040/

http://twentysomethingmarriage.org/buckingthetrendandmarryingyoung/

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/bradfordwilcoxphd/trueloveneednotwait_b_3105874.html?
utm_hp_ref=weddings&ir=Weddings

Summary|
1. Marriage is a big topic. Itcan bring up anticipation and fear in the same breath. One
consideration is the mutual edification between the married couple and the Body of
Christ. Developing a conviction that leads you to love and rely on yourbrothersand
sistersinChristwillstrengthenyourmarriage.

EngagetheDiscussionTopics|
Thinkingaboutmarriagewhatexcitesyou,scaresyou...whatevokeshope,anxiety?
Theintentionisnottoobsessontheseemotionsoryourfuturespouse,butoften
transitionaltopicsofthismagnitudebringoutaspectsofusthattheHolySpiritdesires
tospeakto.

Againfromlastweek,dontforgetthatGodislove(
1John4:8
)andHelovesyou(
John
17:23
),
~YourSeniorYear

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