Text from my

initial WP
submission:
(a phrase,
sentence,
paragraph,
idea, move,
punctuation,
piece of
evidence, etc.)
My wp3 is still
short, it is just
over the 2 page
mark. What can
I do to make
my paper
longer? A
conclusion
maybe? Other
Ideas? What
would be the
counterargume
nt?

I have an
introduction
that I think is
good enough
already, a
paragraph
regarding the
course
readings, a
paragraph on
younger
audience, and a
paragraph on
older audience.

An
observation
or question I
received from
De Piero or a
classmate:

The
change(s) I
made to
what I
initially
wrote: (ie, the
change[s] I
made to
column 1)

How this change impacts

my paper:

You should
spread out your
course reading
quotes. Talk
about the
expectations of
your audience
and who you
are writing as.
Include why you
used the moves
that you did,
and say what
you hope to
accomplish with
it. ID #10
You could talk
more about the
moves you
made, or the
conventions of
each genre that
you chose to
make. You could
talk about the
rhetorical
features of your
genres. Or you
could mention
those
conventions
and rhetorical
features, focus
on the ones you
chose to
incorporate into
each of your

This really
helped me
expand my
essay. What I
changed or
rather added
to my paper
was more
analysis of the
target
audience and
how they
effected the
genre and
such.

This allowed my paper to

have more information in
regards to the genre
conversion. It also allowed
me to expand on more ideas
that I had not considered
before.

I cannot
believe that I
did not think
about talking
about moves
in WP3, I mean
this was HUGE
in WP3. I
added what I
used as my
moves to
every
paragraph and
how it also
effected other
things like the
conventions of
the genre and
the material
from the
scholarly

This changed my paper so

so much! It allowed me to
expand on a key component
of the genre conversion and
gave me more material to
write about. It also helped
because moves are my
favorite part of this course.

From many
sources that
offer movie
reviews, few
stood out to me
because they
are exactly
what I thought
a movie review
will consist of.
The first thing
you will come
across in a
movie review is
the title the
critic has given
it.
-My WP1
The
characteristics
that make a
movie review a
movie review
are movie
titles, ratings,
specific
language, and
positive/negativ
e feedback.
For movie
reviews the
specific and
intended
audience are
the moviegoers
themselves.
-WP1

genres, and
describe why
you chose to do
those or what
choosing those
does to make
your genre
better.
-#17
I think this is
what youre
paragraph is
ultimately
about. If it is,
you might want
to consider
bumping it up
into the topic
sentence.
-De Piero

article.

The first thing

you will come
across in a
movie review
is the title the
critic has
given it. From
many sources
that offer
movie reviews,
few stood out
to me because
they are
exactly what I
thought a
movie review
will consist of.

When I revised it like this,

my paper flowed much more
smoothly. All I did was
rearrange the sentences and
it sounds so much better.

How do all
these ideas fit
together? Why
bring all of
them into the
discussion? If
I'm (your
reader/"audienc
e") having
trouble
understanding
why, it might be
useful for you to
explain
how/why you're
using them in
more explicit
detail.
-De Piero

For movie
reviews the
specific and
intended
audience are
the
moviegoers
themselves
which can be
any regular
person or a
film
enthusiast.
The
characteristics
that make a
movie review
a movie
review are
movie titles,

Again what I did was

reorganize the sentences
and added a few things to it
so that my points can tie
together and not be just
random points.

2nd paragraph
of Final Draft of
WP1

Both respective
authors make
their own
unique moves
to portray their
point in either
their article or
research paper.
-WP2

Im wondering if
it might make
more sense to
include this
earlier on in
your paper. It
could give the
reader an idea
of where all this
stuff is coming
from.
-De Piero
This seems to
be coming up
from nowhere.
Can you give
moves
context? What
does this have
to do with
anything?
-De Piero

ratings,
specific
language, and
positive/negati
ve feedback.
The
presentation
of this genre
will show you
that it is a
movie review;
you will see
many current
movie titles
and ratings
that are from
professional
movie critics
and ratings
from regular
moviegoers
that have seen
them.
Was the last
paragraph of
my draft

In writing,
most authors
use certain
moves to
generate their
perspectives;
moves can
range from the
use of certain
rhetorical
devices to the
structure of

I believe that by making that

paragraph the second
paragraph it brings out the
point of the paper. Genre is
key to this paper so I was
wrong to have it in the end.

By adding a sentence in
front of what I originally had,
it allows me to introduce the
topic of moves in writing.

Both WP1 and

WP2, my MLA
Works Cited
page had
wrong
formatted
citations

You need to get

these in their
proper format!
-De Piero

the
essay/article.
Both
respective
authors make
their own
unique moves
to portray
their point in
either their
article or
research
paper.
Double
checked each
works cited to
have the
proper format.

The way I did this was by

googling how to properly
cite sources in MLA format.
There were many great
websites that helped me get
the exact citation of my
source like
http://www.easybib.com/cite/
view.