1) WP1 Thesis

Text from my initial WP submission:

By observing the presence/absence of specific conventions in menus of three popular breakfast
joints, one can observe that the awareness of genre not only helps the reader interpret the
writers intentions beyond what is written, but it also helps a writer achieve creativity in a certain
genre.
An observation or question I received from De Piero or a classmate:
Are you letting the creativity part of your thesis statement slip?
The change(s) I made to what I initially wrote:
Each author was successfully able to convey form of inventiveness in their respective menus.
Thesis statements have always been an area I often struggle in. In this WP1, Zack noted that much
of my essay didnt apply to the creativity aspect I included in my thesis.
How this change impacts my paper:
I added this paragraph to hopefully clarify that part of my thesis. If part of my thesis were never
addressed, then my argument and the paper as a whole (since the thesis is the foundation of the
paper) would be weak.

2) WP2 Organization/Structure
Text from my initial WP submission:
paragraph 1 = conventions/rhetorical features scholarly
paragraph 2 = conventions/rhetorical features blog
An observation or question I received from De Piero or a classmate:
Im wondering about your organization here So, in other words, break the paragraphs up by
the writing terms/ideas that youre analyzing?
The change(s) I made to what I initially wrote:
paragraph 1 = evidence in both
paragraph 2 = formatting in both
paragraph 3 = tone in both
How this change impacts my paper:
Because this assignment required the students to compare/contrast, comparing two aspects in
one paragraph allows the reader to more clearly see the difference. In addition, Zack gave me
comments referring to my shaky topic sentence and that Im jumping around a bit in the
paragraphs. However, by specifying indicating what is in the paragraph with a specific topic
sentence, the organization and clarity becomes more apparent.

3) WP2 Big juicy steak

Text from my initial WP submission:
Examining why the author chose to implement a certain moveevidence is displayed is what
determines the success of the paper
An observation or question I received from De Piero or a classmate:
Do you want your reader to enjoy that steak in easy-to-chew, digestable bites?
The change(s) I made to what I initially wrote:
I broke up the single paragraph into two. One focuses on the changes in conventions, and the
second focuses on the changes in rhetorical features.
How this change impacts my paper:
It makes the paper more balanced and concise. Rather than having one broad, page-long
paragraph (that may even scare/bore the reader), having two specific paragraphs can make for
easier reading.

4) WP2 Clarity on thesis

Text from my initial WP submission:
One may argue, however, that some genres are more effective than others regardless of the
authors moves... Although the literary genre of a piece is important, it is not as vital as the
authors choice in moves to present evidence, which ultimately dictates the effectiveness of the
argument.
An observation or question I received from De Piero or a classmate:
Im just a little bit unclear about your stance on thisso are you backtracking on your previous
statement and saying that an authors moves ARE important? OR that the genres conventions
ultimately dictate the moves of a piece?
The change(s) I made to what I initially wrote:
Although the literary genre of the pieces may differ, the authors choice in moves to present
evidence is most vital in ultimately dictating the effectiveness of the argument.
How this change impacts my paper:
I tried to acknowledge the counter-argument and immediately dismiss it. However, that
obviously proved unsuccessful as Zack wasnt too sure on what my actual thesis was. Therefore,
by editing the thesis as well as the sentences that lead up to it, the paper as a whole is clearer.

5) WP1 Overall Clarity

Text from my initial WP submission:
After viewing the more colorful and modern menu of IHOP
The descriptions are very straight-forward
OHOPs menu is very simple and succinct
An observation or question I received from De Piero or a classmate:
Could you substantiate this more (ie, back it up with textual evidence)?
The change(s) I made to what I initially wrote:
is noted that the buttermilk pancakes are simply served with whipped butter and maple syrup
(OHOP).
How this change impacts my paper:
In these areas, I felt like I had a bunch of opportunities to elaborate on the ideas to get more
specific. Even though the comment was specified to one section, I think it could apply in many
aspects in my paper. Whether with evidence or analysis, getting more in-depth is always a
positive.