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Definitions:

Sexual Assault and Abuse: Is any forced,


unwanted sexual activity or sexual contact.
It can range from unwanted kissing or touching to
forced sexual intercourse. Sexual assault is any
sexual activity without consent.
It is not about passion or sex it is about power and
control.

Consent: When you willingly give permission,


through your words or actions, for something to happen.

If you are in an abusive relationship, get help


and get out. Here are some phone numbers
to call if you want advice or ever think you
are in danger.

Emergency:
24 hr Sexual Assault Crisis Line:
Saskatoon City Police:
RCMP Detachment:
Mobile Crisis (24 hr):

911
244-2224
975-8300
975-5173
933-6200

Healthy
Relationship
Handbook

Coercion: When someone makes you do something


you dont want to do, by pressuring you or by using
threats or blackmail.

Physical Abuse: Any aggressive behavior directed


at another person.

Services of the Saskatoon Sexual


Assault & Information Centre
(all services free of charge)

Psychological or Emotional Abuse: Any


behavior that causes emotional pain to a partner such
as insults, controlling, threatening to harm self if the
partner leaves, threatening harm to others, isolation,
and accusations of cheating.

Sexual Harassment: Any unwanted sexual


attention that makes a person feel threatened,
uncomfortable or unsafe.

Cycle of Abuse: A relationship cycle that is


typical of many abusive relationships. Includes:
The Honeymoon Stage The loving and
romantic part of the relationship. The abuser
will act sweet and kind, express a lot of love
and make their partner feel special and loved.
The Tension Building Stage Tension begins to
build in the relationship. There may be arguments,
emotional abuse or minor physical abuse like
grabbing or pushing.
The Explosive Stage This is when the abuse is
at its worst, and may include extreme verbal,
emotional, physical, or sexual violence
Back to the Honeymoon Stage After exploding,
the abuser may apologize, become very loving and
kind again, and promise that it wont happen again.

24 Hour Sexual Assault Crisis Line: 244-2224


Volunteers provide support for survivors of
both recent and past sexual assault or abuse;
information on medical and legal issues;
referrals, and accompaniment of victims to
the hospital, police station or court.
Counselling: Workers provide counseling,
information, support, accompaniment, advocacy
& referrals to survivors & their families on an
appointment and walk-in basis.
Public Education Programs: Workshops and
presentations on sexual assault issues, awareness
and prevention of sexual abuse, sexual attitudes
and stereotypes, dating violence, and healthy
relationships. Speakers are available to
community groups, schools, professional
organizations, etc.
Resources. Access to pamphlets, articles,
journals, books & videos on issues related to
sexual assault & sexual abuse.
May 2009

Saskatoon Sexual Assault


& Information Centre
201 506 - 25th St E
Saskatoon, SK, S7K 4A7
Office Phone: 244-2294

24 Hour Crisis Line: 244-2224


E-mail: ssaic@sasktel.net.com
Fax: 244-6099

www.saskatoonsexualassaultcentre.com

Warning Signs

of an Unhealthy Relationship:
If your partner behaves in several of the
following ways, you may be in an unhealthy
relationship, and it may also be a DANGER
sign for violence in the future
Is extremely jealous of activities
that
you dont
There
is donotogether
need to rush
Intimidates
you with looks,
actions,
into a dating
relationship
words or gestures
tryyoubeing
friends
Isolates
from your
friends first!
Makes you do sexual things when you
dont want to
Threatens to hurt you
Threatens to hurt someone you love,
like a friend, family member, or pet
Threatens to commit suicide if you
leave the relationship
Threatens to spread rumours about
you
Makes fun of you in public
Controls your money
Makes you feel bad about yourself
Makes you feel guilty if you go out
with friends or if you want time alone
Touches you when you dont want to
be touched
Doesnt respect your privacy, your
ideas, opinions, or decisions
Shouts, screams, or throws objects
when angry
Refuses to admit being wrong
Keeps checking up on you when you
arent together

Qualities of a healthy
partner in a relationship
Self-esteem - means to feel good
about yourself. Having positive self-esteem
allows you to be more confident about what
you want and dont want in a relationship, and
makes it easier to get out of an abusive
relationship.
The longer you stay with an abusive
person, the harder it is to leave.
Abuse destroys your self-esteem.

Being Yourself - means that you


are important as a person; it helps you find the
right relationship for you and keeps you from
losing yourself in the relationship. Being
yourself includes knowing about:
Your hopes and dreams
What makes you feel loved, angry,
happy, hurt or scared
How you deal with conflict
What is important to you
Communication it is important
to be able to directly tell your partner what you
like and do not like and how you feel in the
relationship.

Realistic expectations

- you
should realistically expect to be treated well
and not abused. Every person and every
relationship has good and bad days, and
occasional disagreements and conflicts are
normal and okay.

Abuse is not OK.

Signs of a

Healthy Relationship:
You often have fun together
You feel safe with each other
You trust each other
You support each others goals
You respect each others opinions
You both apologize when youre wrong
You respect each others privacy
You treat each other with respect
You dont feel pressured to have sex
You appreciate each others talents and
strengths
Arguments are resolved without
screaming, hitting, or threatening each
other.
You are honest with each other
Your needs and desires are expressed
and listened to
Your individual interests and friends
are respected
You see each other as equals
You want the best for each other
You support each other
You are committed to each other
Responsibilities are shared
You compromise when a difficult
decision has to be made
You see each other as friends, not just
partners
Sexual limits are respected

There is no need to rush


into a dating relationship
try being friends first!