RUNNING HEAD: Adolescent Paper

Adolescent Paper
SW 3510
Jerlyn Bright-Thigpen

RUNNING HEAD: Adolescent Paper

Disliking my skin color was an issue that I had dealt with during my adolescence.
I have been battling with this issue since I started kindergarten. I felt like I was too dark
skinned. As a child, I used to get teased by my peers and even my own cousins. The
names they used to call me were terrible, made me feel less than a person, and made me
very insecure about my skin. For example, they used to call me blackie, midnight,
oil spill, shadow, and many other derogatory names. I would go home and cry to my
mother and grandmother. I would tell them about the names I was being called, they
would console me and ensure me that theres nothing wrong with my skin color. They
always told me to remember the saying, sticks and stones may break your bones but
words would never hurt. In actuality, those words did hurt me and it became like an
open wound that would never close.
I was absolutely depressed about being this skin color. I was always wishing that
my skin were lighter and not this dark. I also wished that I was from a different race
because I didnt like being this skin color. I had even did research on skin bleaching and
thought about how my life would be if I was light skin. As I got older, I was learning how
to not let those derogatory names get to me. I was learning to embrace my skin tone. I
told myself, Im beautiful no matter what my skin tone is. This has worked for me and
still does until this day. I dont let the negative views of my skin tone especially when
someone tells me that, Im pretty to be a dark skin girl affect me like it did when I was
younger. I feel like it doesnt matter what skin tone someone is; theyre beautiful no
matter what. Skin tone doesnt make beauty.
Being raised without a father and trying maintain a long distance relationship with
him was another issue that I dealt with in my life. As long as I can remember, my father

RUNNING HEAD: Adolescent Paper

was barely in life like he was supposed to be. I vaguely remember communicating with
him as much because of the differences he had with my mother. It made me feel like he
couldnt and didnt want to set aside the differences he had with my mother to maintain a
relationship with his daughter especially because we stayed in two different states. I felt
very unimportant to him and lonely although I had my mother.
I had tried reaching out to him on numerous occasions. I remembered writing him
letters and calling him to invite him to the important events in my life. For example, I
remembered inviting him to my sweet 16th birthday, my prom and my high school
graduation where I had introduced the guest speaker of my graduation. To my surprise, he
was a no show except when I came to Florida to visit my brothers and sisters on his side.
He seemed so happy to see but during my visit, he isolated his self from me (once again)
because I wanted to stay with my brother and my sister in law instead of his. After that
situation, I havent heard from him since I had left Florida. He didnt bother to see me off
when I went to the airport.
Until this day, Im still dealing with this issue. I dont understand how a father
couldnt interact with his one of his 12 children just because of the differences he has
with the childs mother. It makes me feel like the black sheep on his side of the family. I
have tried numerous of times to remain contact with him after I left Florida. Sadly to say,
he didnt comply with me at all and I have seen that he communicates with my siblings
and maintain a relationship with them that live in the same state with him. It bothers me
because in my family, all my cousins fathers are actively in their lives. I tend to get a
little envious when I see that close interaction between a father and his children,

RUNNING HEAD: Adolescent Paper

especially their daughters. Although, my uncles treat me as their own child and Im
grateful for it but it doesnt help fill the void that I am missing.
Diversity issues didnt really affect me as an adolescent. I was raised in a
multicultural neighborhood; so being around a wide variety of diverse people was
nothing new to me. We had got along and respected one another as an individual. I also
attended a multicultural middle and high school. While attending both of these schools,
everyone got along and had friends of different cultures and races. In both schools,
discrimination and racism werent tolerated in any shape or form. I remember that one of
my peers got in trouble for a racial comment they made to another student. For a
punishment, they had detention and the teacher made them write an essay about that race
and why they shouldnt disrespect another culture. The principal approved the
consequence for the student.
Ecological systems theory fits the relationship that I have with my father.
Ecological systems theory recognizes that human beings, like all other living beings, can
be understood only in the context of the systems in which they live (Germain, 1991; cited
by Ashford & Lecroy, 2013). Our relationship falls under the mesosystem section of the
theory. Ashford and Lecroy stated that, it is critical to have an understanding of the
network of personal settings affecting a particular microsystem under investigation
(2013). This explains the negative attitude I have towards active fathers in my peers
lives and non-existent interaction I have for a male father figure. I honestly dont respect
them at all. For example when I seen active fathers in my peers lives, it cause me to
think negative against them and hold a grudge against them. I would isolate myself from
them and wouldnt want to be around them at all. The interaction that I had with a male

RUNNING HEAD: Adolescent Paper

father figure wasnt there at all. I found myself not respecting them because I didnt have
my own father in my life especially with my stepfather.
Multidimensional Model of Racial Identity relates to my skin color issue that I
faced as an adolescent. This model provides a conceptual framework for understanding
both significance of race in self-concepts of African Americans and qualitative meanings
they attribute to being members of that racial category (Sellers, Smith, Shelton, Rowley,
& Chavous, 1998). I believe that this relates to me because at one point, I didnt identify
myself being a black person. This all stemmed from the fact that I didnt like my skin
tone. As I matured, I began to embrace my race and my skin tone because I felt more
comfortable in it.
In the article, Who is the fairest of them all? Race, attractiveness and skin color
sexual dimorphism by Michael B. Lewis, a study was conducted to see which faces of a
race are more attractive and have a better personality. The study included 600 Black,
White and mixed race faces. At the end of the study, it was stated that, lighter skin tone
is a female trait and is associated with more attractive females whereas darker skin is a
male trait and is associated with more attractive males (Lewis, 2010). This article is
related to one of my significant life issue because I always believed that people who were
light skin were always better looking than me. With the results of the study that was
conducted in the article is exactly how I felt about a female whose skin was lighter than
mines.
In the article, Children Raised in Fatherless Families from Infancy: Family
Relationships and the Sociemotional Development of Children of Lesbian and Single

RUNNING HEAD: Adolescent Paper

Heterosexual Mothers by S. Golombok, F. Tasker, C. Murray relates to my fatherless

upbringing. They had conducted a research study about the development of children
being raised without a father in the home but was being raised by single mother and a
lesbian mother. The research included 42 single mother family household and 30 lesbian
mother family household and series of tests that measured the relationship and the
development between the children and the mothers (Golombok, Tasker, & Murray, 1997).
At the end of the research, it was founded that, in father-absent families, childrens
relationship with their mother differed in a number of ways from that of their peers whose
fathers lived with them at home (Golombok, Tasker, & Murray, 1997). As I look back
and notice now, I have seen a difference with my relationship with my mother and my
peers relationship with their own mother. They are less close with their mother because
of the close relationship they have with their father that lives with them.

RUNNING HEAD: Adolescent Paper

References
Ashford, J. B., & Lecroy, C. W. (2013). The Social Dimension for Assessing Social
Functioning. In J. B. Ashford, & C. W. Lecroy, Human Behavior in the Social
Environment: A Multidimensional Perspective (pp. 143-145). Belmont:
Brooks/Cole.
Golombok, S., Tasker, F., & Murray, C. (1997). Children Raised in Fatherless Families
from Infancy: Family Relationships and the Socioemotional Development of
Children of Lesbian and Single Mothers. Journal of Child Psychology and
Psychiatry and Allied Disciplines, 783-791.
Lewis, M. B. (2010, June 28). Who is the fairest of them all? Race, attractiveness and
skin color sexual dimorphism. Personality and Individual Differences, 50(2), 159162.
Sellers, R., Smith, M., Shelton, J., Rowley, S., & Chavous, T. (1998). Multidimensional
Model of Racial Identity: A Reconceptualization of African American Racial
Identity. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 18-39.