Running Head: Comparing the Role of Parents to that of Peers On Children Development

COMPARING THE ROLE OF PARENTS TO THAT OF PEERS ON CHILDREN

DEVELOPMENT
MICHAEL AYENI
821-322-385
HUMBER COLLEGE
PSYC 002
INSTRUCTOR: BRUCE WALKER
9TH of April, 2014

COMPARING THE ROLE OF PARENTS TO THAT OF PEERS ON CHILDREN DEVELOPMENT

INTODUCTION
Parents play an important role in the life of their children and early relationships are
essential for both social and normal brain development (Harris, 2009, p. 176). The impact my
parent had in my own development as a child was enormous and some of the things I learnt
growing up as a male child from an African Christian background has to a large extent shaped
most of my beliefs and my general perceptions about life. Conventional beliefs overemphasize
the fact that nature and nurture are the most influential factor during children development but a
contemporary psychologist by the name Judith Harris, believed that nature and peer groups are
more important. This seems controversial but if the meaning of the word peer group according
to Harris (2009, p. XV) is properly examined, an accurate argument can therefore, be
established. Judith Harris defined a peer group as social group and not as a group of young
teenagers who hang around together and she cited the girl social category as an example.
Immediately after birth, an infant is instantly placed into a social category and the type of
nurturing such a child would receive from the parents and caregivers would actually be
determined by the social category the child belongs to. Harris (2009), supported her point of
view with three major points which I totally agree with based on both my own personal
experiences. Harris (2009), justified her point of view by comparing Motherlessness to
Peerlessness, describing the role of Playmates and explaining the Us versus Me and Thee
effect. Since both side of the argument agree on the importance of nature, it can therefore be
argued that peer groups as used in the social category context is a more influential factor than the
role of parents on the subject of children development. The highlighted supporting points would
be discussed in this essay and supporting personal experiences would be provided to reinforce
this points.

COMPARING THE ROLE OF PARENTS TO THAT OF PEERS ON CHILDREN DEVELOPMENT

DISCUSSION
Firstly, Harris (2009) justified her point of view by comparing Motherlessness to
Peerlessness. The role parents play in the life of a child is not insignificant and Judith Harris also
agreed with this. Harris (2009), cited an example of the work done by Primatologists Harry and
Margaret Harlow who reared infant rhesus monkeys in cages by themselves, with only a
terrycloth-covered doll and a bottle of formula to keep them company. These motherless
monkeys were highly abnormal in their social behaviour as adults and they were extremely
fearful and were either indifferent or aggressive toward others of their kind. This experiment
demonstrates that parents actually have a role to play in the life of an infant. The work of Diana
Baumrind (1989, 1991b) which focused on the relationship between parenting styles and the
development of competent behaviour in young children also highlighted the effects of different
parenting style on children (Rathus & Longmuir, 2012). Therefore, it can be concluded that
parental influence is very important in children development. However, since the argument is on
nurture versus peer groups, there is a need to understand the role of peer groups before any
comparison is made. In supporting her argument, Harris (2009), cited the other work done by
Primatologists Harry and Margaret Harlow in which monkeys were reared with mothers but
without peers. The monkeys were observed to be happy enough in infancy but they had serious
problems later on, when they were caged with other monkeys. The report from the experiment
stated that the peerless ones showed no disposition to play together and they were abnormal in
their social behaviour and that only the monkeys raised in total isolation were even more
abnormal. The motherless monkeys cited earlier however, turned into reasonably normal adults
after they were kept in cages with three or four other infant monkeys. Harris (2009), also cited
the a story reported by Anna Freud (Sigmunds daughter) about a group of six young children

COMPARING THE ROLE OF PARENTS TO THAT OF PEERS ON CHILDREN DEVELOPMENT

which included three boys and three girls, all between three and four years of age who had
survived a Nazi concentration camp. According to the report, the children had lost their parents
soon after they were born and had been cared for in the concentration camp by a series of adults,
none of whom survived, but the children actually remained together. Although the children
expressed anger, hostility and sometimes indifference towards the caregivers at the new nursery
after been relocated to England, they did care greatly for each other and nothing else. The
children reported to have turned out alright later in their adult life and they were all reported to
be leading effective lives. The story of the six children is similar to that of my mom who lost
her own mom at the tender age three. She was raised by her aunt because her dad remarried.
Although the aunt was not very supportive according to my mom but she claimed that she had a
lot of very supportive friends. My mom is very successful in her chosen career and she is a very
sociable person. According to Harris (2009), children who spend their early years in an
orphanage do not actually lack social skills; if anything, they were observed to be overly friendly
and I can relate to this because my mom was also over friendly. Although the cited cases were
about children with no parental influence, Harris (2009) also cited the case of a child prodigy by
the name William James Sidis, who had a lot of parental influence but very little peer group
influence. William spent a lot of time out of school and he had no peer influence because he was
treated differently from most of his pair. He achieved a lot at a very early age but he was
reported to have had a lot of social problems at the later stages of his life. The case of William is
similar to that of the monkeys reared with a mother but without peers and this is the same for
most child prodigies and children that had little to no peer influence. Although a mother cannot
act as a substitute for peers, peers can sometimes act as a substitute for a mother and the different
cases cited above highlights this fact.

COMPARING THE ROLE OF PARENTS TO THAT OF PEERS ON CHILDREN DEVELOPMENT

Secondly, Harris (2009) rationalised her point of view by explaining the Us versus Me
and Thee effect. She stated that the capacity to form dyadic relationships is present at birth but
that groupness takes longer to develop. She described Dyadic relationships to be based on things
like dependency, love, hatred and enjoyment of the others company while groupness is based on
recognition of basic similarities. Although groups usually consist of more than two individuals,
Harris (2009) stated that it is the groupness department of the mind that enables children to be
socialized and their personalities to be modified by the environment. Although, People dont
have to like or know every member of the members of their group, the knowledge that they are
in the same social category. Harris (2009) stated that this is usually more important because its a
matter of self-categorization and that the mental activities associated with groupness go on at a
level not ordinarily accessible to the conscious mind, but that they usually have some visible
consequences. We become more similar to the other members of our group through the process
of assimilation and the differences between our group and the other group become exaggerated
due to group contrast effects. And, under some conditions, hostility toward the other group
emergesthe us versus them effect. It is usually this us versus them effect that make us as
individuals become more sentimental to such people we assume to belong to our own group and
we naturally tend to conform to the general expectation of such groups. The black history month
is something I love to associate with because I have categorised myself into a black social group
and not because my parents encouraged me to. History is filled with stories of heroes that have
died for their social group. Belonging to a social group like a girl would make most girls avoid
male related expectations and not because of parental influence. It can therefore be concluded
that the effect of peer groups has a lot of influence on children development.

COMPARING THE ROLE OF PARENTS TO THAT OF PEERS ON CHILDREN DEVELOPMENT

Thirdly, Harris (2009) also justified her point of view by describing the role of Playmates
in children development. Children usually start to make friends between the age of one and three
and the influence that peer group exerts on children development usually increases more at this
stage. Peer interactions foster social skillssharing, helping, taking turns, and dealing with
conflict. Groups teach children how to lead and how to follow. Physical and cognitive skills
develop through peer interactions. Peers also provide emotional support (Dishion & Stormshak,
2007b; Grusec, 2006). According to Harris (2009), in settings where there is a range of ages and
different sex, children usually form cliques that mostly consist of children of roughly the same
age and sex. This peer group are usually the learning environment for most children because as
children, it is easy to learn from our peers than it is to learn from our parents. This can be
because of the conflict children experience, as most children are not allowed to do what they see
adults do but are usually expected to do what adult say. This is not the situation with peers,
therefore the conflict is usually not present. Harris (2009) cited the case of Polynesian children
whom were expected to behave in a restrained and self-effacing manner with adults even though
most Polynesian parents do not behave in a restrained and self-effacing manner, either with other
adults or with children. Since the children were allowed to behave in a more assertive fashion
with the peers, learning from peers becomes easier for most of this children. Although children
imitate their parents, even parents sometimes discourage imitation. This can create a lot of
confusion for children and I remember that I had problem understanding why I could not do
some of the things I observed my own parent doing when I was growing up. Whenever I was
with my friends, I feel more comfortable because my friends allowed me do everything they
were doing and spending more time with my friends became my priority back then because it
was easier learning from them than learning from my own parents. To reinforce this particular

COMPARING THE ROLE OF PARENTS TO THAT OF PEERS ON CHILDREN DEVELOPMENT

point, Harris (2009) cited the case of Donald Kellogg that was raised with a Chimpanzee. The
report stated that Donalds parents returned the chimpanzee named Gua back to the zoo when
they realized that the ape was influencing Donald more than they were influencing Donald. At
nineteen months, Donald was reported to be able to speak only three English words but he had
gotten pretty good at communicating with the Chimpanzee. After investigating why the ape was
influencing Donald more than the parent were influencing him, it was reported that Donald was
observed to have regarded the Chimpanzee to be in the same social category as himself, Donald
considered the Chimpanzee as his peer. Babies categorize just as adults do and the tendency to
associate and learn from a peer is higher than when compared with associating with other peer
groups. The cases cited above are proves that peer influence is very important to children
development and that even though we have high regards for our parents, we usually learn more
from our peers.
CONCLUSION
In conclusion, the role of parents in the development of children is not insignificant.
However, the role of peers can be considered to be more influential than that of the parent in
children development as highlighted by the work done Harris (2009). The various citations from
her work provided scientific evidence to prove this argument and she supported her point of view
by comparing Motherlessness to Peerlessness, describing the role of Playmates and explaining
the Us versus Me and Thee effect. All this points were discussed in this essay and personal
experiences were also provided to support these points. Concluding that your peer group has a
greater influence in determining who you are and not your parents is not a fallacy because there
are scientific evidences to support this fact. My parents had a lot of influence on me but the fact
that I was born a male child was more important during my development.

COMPARING THE ROLE OF PARENTS TO THAT OF PEERS ON CHILDREN DEVELOPMENT

REFERENCES
Harris, J. R. (2009). The nurture assumption: Why children turn out the way they do (2nd ed.).
New York, NY: Free Press.
Rathus, S. A., & Longmuir, S. (2012). HDEV. Toronto, Canada: Nelson Education.