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Alexia Hall
Professor Collin Hull
ENG-2010
3/26/2015

My Social Media Experience

Image 1: My family's picture of our ice cream sandwiches from CREAM

in San Francisco, California.

One of the first things you learn while growing up with siblings is that, you need
to share. Especially in my family, sharing has always been one of the key components to
whether someone had manners or not, and we were all critically chastised if we didn't
have proper manners. However, when I got my ice cream sandwich from CREAM in San
Francisco on our first visit to the Bay Area a few years back, did I even bother to offer
any samples to my siblings? Yes, I did, but not until I almost devoured most of it.
"Forget it!" My siblings said in unison, "It's basically a milkshake now, with a few

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crumbs of heath bar at the bottom!" "Yeah, I know," I replied as I smirked to myself, and
enjoyed the last bit of the dessert I customized to my liking.
When it comes to sharing now, I willingly and gladly share (I even encourage
sharing!). From the range of, what new store in town do I like, to recipes of amazing
"no-guilt" chocolate chip cookies I just found--I love to share with others what I have
come to love. Nowadays, people share a large variety of things, such as their own
personal information and pictures and even the extremities of "checking-in" to a place, so
that everyone on their friends list knows where they are. Almost anything can be shared
instantly, and because of social media, it has become that much easier to share.
When I was in the seventh grade, the buzz about Facebook erupted throughout my
school. I was so excited when I came home and logged on, to see someone I briefly
talked to in the halls send me a friend request, or even one of my closer friends sending
me a button for my online button collection (which was an app that Facebook possessed).
My friends and I would spend hours adding new buttons, and deleting old ones that
weren't considered "cool" anymore. None of us cared about makeup or cute outfits or
even doing our hair in the morning! We would also spend hours taking silly pictures of
ourselves and posting them all over our profiles, so that everyone could see how much
fun we were having.
All of that silliness and fun ended when I moved onto high school for tenth grade.
All of my peers that I even briefly said "hi" to in the halls, had gone into oblivion, since
no one remembered what happened to them in the transition of schools. Many of my
friends who I used to send buttons to, became too invested in more popular friend groups

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and their boyfriends. All of us started wearing makeup, and being late to school due to
spending too much time picking cute outfits in the morning, and straightening our hair.
And all of those silly pictures that we uploaded just years previously, were either deleted,
or we would untag ourselves due to the "embarrassment" of our childlike selves being
resurfaced. All of the pictures that were currently being posted were heavily
photoshopped, and backed up with little white lies of, "No! My eyes are naturally that
blue! (:" or, "My hair has always been this straight and bleached!" Over the years, my
peers and I had become self-conscious of who we were, and Heaven forbid anyone would
see us without the help of photoshop and filters.
I wonder what would have become of me if I had grown up in the current
generation, where we didn't have to wait for mom to get off the phone just to use dialup
on the family computer. Or even growing up when everybody has an account on that
Penguin world website, and that's how you make friends when you can't at school. So
many of us have "friended," and "unfriended" acquaintances off of our social networks;
so what does that mean for us in reality? I know that I used to go to great lengths to
block them, so that they didn't know that I unfriended them, but rather just deleted my
Facebook altogether. The rest of my "friends" on Facebook showed me their social status
with me, by liking and commenting on my posts and pictures; and if they didn't, I would
quickly become self-conscious, and either text them and ask them to do so, or delete the
post all together. How can such a silly proponent of my life, impact it so easily?
In an essay on Emily Dickinson, the poet Adrienne Rich once wrote, It is always
what is under pressure in us, especially under pressure of concealmentthat explodes in

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poetry. We live in a time in which little is concealed, and that pressure valve rarely has a
chance to fill and fill to the point of explosion. One main lesson that I have learned from
Facebook, that I am actually very grateful for, is that my confidence shouldn't be based
on a poll of how many likes I got on a picture. My confidence should be based on how I
feel about myself, and if I can look in the mirror at the end of the night, and like what I
see.

Image 2: A picture of the notorious Facebook like that so many of us crave to see

I completely agree with the research that authors, Amy L. Gonzales, and Jeffrey T.
Hancock, did, in their essay, Mirror, Mirror on my Facebook Wall: Effects of Exposure to
Facebook on Self-Esteem. They hypothesize the effects of Facebook exposure on selfesteem, and their studies have found that, becoming self aware by viewing one's own
Facebook profile, enhances self-esteem rather than diminishes it. However, these finding
also suggest that, "Social media has the potential to affect temporary states of selfesteem. They are designed for personal musings and this information could make
people aware of their own limitations and shortcomings, which would lower self-esteem"
(Gonzalez). Social media was designed for personal musings and personal scrap booking
for our future selves, not for developing self-esteem issues.

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I'm also not alone in my belief that Facebook can be harmful on self-esteem.
Ilana Gershon, a professor at Indiana University, wrote an article for Anthropological
Quarterly in the fall of 2011. In this article, Un-Friend My Heart: Facebook,
Promiscuity, and Heartbreak in a Neoliberal Age, Gershon interviews many of her
writing students, and discusses with them how Facebook can be destructive to
personalities. "[They] believed that Facebook transformed them into selves that they did
not like being--suspicious and jealous selves based on neoliberal principlesAfter
disconnecting from Facebook, they felt they shed these unwanted selves" (Gershon). My
tenth grade self had started evolving and becoming just like everyone else that I had on
my Facebook feed. I didn't know who I was, or how to be liked, so the easiest path was
to follow in everyone else's footsteps and photoshop myself as well. Looking back, I
severely regret doing that to myself, and I know that I didn't like who I was either.
Even now, throughout my day, I always find myself taking Facebook breaks. I
know I shouldnt do this. Especially since I know how it's not a priority whatsoever, and
I could be doing a million and one things instead, but let's face it, the temptation and the
curiosity an individual possesses is too hard to not fulfill, especially if the task is as easy
as switching to a separate tab. A lonely individual can be connected with a whole range
of humanity without ever leaving their desk chair. A Russian novels worth of tragedy
and comedy is on display. A friend posts, As I write this, my mothers light is going
out. Another friend announces his divorce simply by switching his status from married
to single. Still, another friend anxiously awaits biopsy results. There are engagements,
marriages, anniversaries, illnesses, college graduations, retirements, vacations, and
endless photographs of cute dogs. All of these accompanied by responses, some

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numbering in the hundreds. Condolences and congratulations, prayers and emoticons of
hearts and hands pressed together in namaste, theres something beautiful and absolutely
genuine about itFacebook is, after all, a way of staying connected in an increasingly
busy and disconnected worldbut it can also feel thin and undigested, a skimming over
of data rather than a deep sink into the specificity and emotional reality of human
experience. Death? Check. Divorce? Check. A namaste sign instead of a condolence note.
A heart rather than a phone call.
Social Media has made an impact on everyone's lives, no matter who you are. For
some, it truly does help them stay connected. For others, it has only increased their lack
of confidence in themselves. It's crazy to think that I even grew up at a time where the
internet wasn't a priority, since it's such a prominent aspect in everybody's lives. I do
miss who my friends and I were when we were thirteen-years old; and yes, I do regret
feeling pressured into having to filter some of my imperfections just to post a picture;
however, if me evolving as a fifteen-year old didn't happen, I'm not sure how different of
a person I would be today. Because of it, I am more appreciative of who I am, and more
confident in who I am. I just wish everyone can feel the same way about themselves.

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Work Cited
Gershon, Ilana. "Un-Friend My Heart: Facebook, Promiscuity, and Heartbreak in a
Neoliberal Age." Anthropological Quarterly 84.4 (2011): 865-94. Print.
Gonzales, Amy L., and Jeffrey T. Hancock. "Mirror, Mirror On My Facebook Wall:
Effects Of Exposure To Facebook On Self-Esteem." Cyberpsychology, Behavior,
and Social Networking 14.1-2: 79-85. Print.
Images:
Image 1: My personal picture from my family's trip to San Francisco

Image 2: Giudice, Federico. "Facebook Changes the Way It Tallies "Likes"" Walyou. 6 Mar. 2015.
Web. 27 Mar. 2015. .