Grace Chambers

4/21/15
Leslie Drake
Bibliographic Essay

1
Arranged Marriages

Abstract
American wedding arrangements differ from other foreign countries. The arranged
marriages are essential for the brides economic status and acceptance to stay in the family.
Although the negative aspects can be suicidal, no education for independency, and the lack of
individualized decision making, the beauty and deep thoughtfulness of the wedding may be seen
as a positive tradition for others to learn about. A monogamous believer must understand their
environment and situation before making an opinion on the subject otherwise it leads to
ignorance. This paper will demonstrate different cases not only here but around the world
because although this issue has been happening for a long time now, this does not just happen in
countries like India Asia and so on. When we refer to arranged marriages we think of marriages
that parents have had planned out since they conceive a child, but when we look deeper into the
meaning we come to find out that there is a large spectrum that these reason range from, and in
this paper we will have some examples and stories that explain just that.
Introduction
Arrange marriages can be positive, negative or even both. The impact that is set
upon a womans life when put through these types of situations turns to be very memorable when
they have no choice but to accept it. . There are more than fifty developing countries in the
world that practice arranged marriages. Custom and tradition is what tends to dominate in
cultural countries like India but what society seems to miss when it comes to arranged marriages

Grace Chambers
4/21/15
Leslie Drake
Bibliographic Essay

Arranged Marriages
is that the majority of these marriages that are planned for the most part leave the woman with
the absence of actually finding true love. Life is no Cinderella story but I feel as if they at least
deserve the chance to pick who they want to spend the rest of their life with. Some main reasons
for this illegal practice is poverty, creating family alliances, and settles to family debts.
Is there a difference between arranged marriages and forced marriages?
When it comes to the different types of marriages many seem to get it confused with
arranged marriages. In the article Traditional arranged marriages explains clearly how far apart
the differences are. Arranged marriages are more like those marriages that get chosen for a child
in their youth because of the Parents know best rule. The reasoning for the chosen spouse is
more likely to avoid all the heart break and corruption of the feelings that someone would have
to feel before getting married. So they just jump straight to the end of the process because
according to them Parents know best
Forced marriages on the other hand, are your stereotypical marriages. They are the types
of arrangements that are talked about but still forced upon another human. In a forced marriage
which is also seemingly rare in India and parts of Asia and Africa, the chosen ones have no say in
the choice of their parent. When they object to the marriages they are usually punished or
sometimes even killed, but for a fact they dont have a choice and often get ignored.
In arranged marriages, its all for the good of the child. Its all done in favor of them so
they dont give up any opportunities they have set out for themselves. Parents tend to look at

Grace Chambers
4/21/15
Leslie Drake
Bibliographic Essay

Arranged Marriages
reputations, not only the individuals reputation but the reputation of his or her family as well.
Another thing they look at is their cast/religion. It is not acceptable for them to be with anyone
that contradicts what they believe in, that would just not be acceptable in their culture let alone
their community. Lastly when choosing the perfect soulmate for their children, parents lastly
look at the health line ran across their families. When choosing that person they have to make
sure that there are no diseases that may contaminate the health of their own son or daughter or
even their grandchildren. Health plays a severe factor when it comes to being a the stay at home
woman especially in India because the woman are expected to stay at home and supply the men
with their needs, and the men are expected to work and keep food on the table for their families.
The process, what is the process and how does it work?
On the website iml.jou.ufl.edu the publisher speaks about a study that was performed in
Houston for Muslim arranged marriage couples and the twenty six couples that were
interviewed all stated that they had never seen the person their parents chose for them but they
did have an opportunity to hang out with them and bond together to figure out whether getting
married clicked or unbuckled.
To start off this tedious process, the parents have to make it known in their community
that their son or daughter is ready to have a committed marriage. When they do this it is usually
at big events and parties, kind of like they were to be advertising them. Once the advertising has
been done and the match maker who usually tends to be the mothers agree then they exchange

Grace Chambers
4/21/15
Leslie Drake
Bibliographic Essay

Arranged Marriages
what they call in India a Biodata. What this consists of is a brief biography of not only them
but their aunts and uncles as well. If the Biodata gets approved then there will sometimes be an
exchanging of the pictures, and if they are a male and are approved they formally have to make a
proposal to the womans family as a promise.
Stage three, this stage is usually when the two families meet without the couple and see
how the families interact. The couples usually do not meet until they have tried this procedure
about three times. Once they get through the family meetings, thats when the love birds to be
finally meet and get to express and share their life goals and ambitions in efforts to see if they
mesh. In the end the couple has a say into who they want to marry whether it be an I do or an I
dont.
What are perspectives on arranged and love marriages?
Just like any other topic, different types of marriages have their pros and cons. Some may
speak well about arranged while others may be against it and for the typical today love
marriages. In the online article To love or to engage they have people speaking their opinions
over this all. When they asked an Indian couple what they thought over the two different topics
when it came to marital satisfaction the two groups- (Another U.S couple) were quite similar.
The only differences that occurred were when they were both asked on love wellness. The U.S
couple pretty much based it as if you get along and have that spark then your marriage will last.
The Indian couple on the other hand said something different, they believed that the love you

Grace Chambers
4/21/15
Leslie Drake
Bibliographic Essay

Arranged Marriages
grew for each other took time. They also believed that marital satisfaction was not what you felt
before you married but what you felt in the long run of your marriage.
Perspective is what motivates this topic said professor Cornell from the University of
Florida. The U.S culture seems to believe that Love conquers all but for anyone who does not
believe that the lack of love is what cuts marriages short, then love will not be a reason of a short
marital satisfaction. He also describes that he does not believe that because you are in love you
should get married. He believes that its all about the years and the haul that the two of you guys
have faced that make it count. Cornell also believes that arranged marriage is based on a concept
that love is a fleeting emotional response bringing in lots of factors into the equation, therefore
making you love the title or the person for what they are either the mother of your kids or your
wife.
A low divorce rate in the countries with arranged marriages and higher rates of divorce in
the countries with love marriages is what makes people believe that arrange marriages are the
way to go, but yet again they are trying to encourage love marriages in the countries who have
shown to be successful with the opposite. The cultural difference is what seems to draw a few to
test out this theory, but despite the huge cultural difference they are not too far off from the
tracks from each other.
Are these the only types of marriages that seem to be phenomenons in the U.S?

Grace Chambers
4/21/15
Leslie Drake
Bibliographic Essay

Arranged Marriages
We often tend to judge others on the decisions they make without even realizing that our
country itself is dealing with not the same but slightly similar situations itself. Lets bring up
immigration marriages, when did it ever become illegal to love and marry someone without
documented paper work in the U.S. Was that because of the overload of immigrants looking for
an opportunity? Or was that because society didnt approve of interracial relationships? Just
think about it. We also have the homosexual cover-up marriage. How do people know exactly
that you marry as a cover up by your looks? That seems to be an on fire topic in our community
right now due to the fact that we are trying to legalize gay marriages in certain states, and others
will not approve. We talk about how every man is created equal here in the United States, but yet
lack the open minded intelligence needed to end this situation. The pursuit of happiness is also
one that everyone has the right to but we as individuals take it away from each other day after
day.
Conclusion
In conclusion, arranged marriages are what you portray them to be. We as individuals
cannot say that they are wrong because the cultural differences around the world are immense.
What this paper should have brought to your attention are the different types of perspectives that
can be drawn from this topic and not only the perspectives but the differences as well that may
exclude certain stereotypes that were assumed by the love marriage community or the forced
marriage community. In the end we all speak different languages and portray different colors but

Grace Chambers
4/21/15
Leslie Drake
Bibliographic Essay

Arranged Marriages
the phrase I Love You will always have the same meaning whether youre in the United States
or the United Kingdom.

Grace Chambers
4/21/15
Leslie Drake
Bibliographic Essay

8
Arranged Marriages

References
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(new) hd [full documentary] [Video file]. Retrieved from
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOSZXePacSo
9. Seshadri, S. (2015, February 12). Their arranged marriage blossomed into
true love. Retrieved from CNN website:
http://www.cnn.com/2015/02/11/living/soul-mate-stories-arranged-marriage/
10.Jaine, A. (n.d.). Is arranged marriage really any worse than craigslist? New
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11. Is Arranged Marriage Really Any Worse Than Craigslist? (n.d.). Retrieved April 21, 2015,
from http://nymag.com/nymetro/news/culture/features/11621/

Grace Chambers
4/21/15
Leslie Drake
Bibliographic Essay

9
Arranged Marriages

12. India - Marriage. (n.d.). Retrieved April 21, 2015, from http://countrystudies.us/india/86.htm