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Notes by: Ramel Carpenter

Olivia Rines
1101-1102 UWRT

Ethnography (RAs at UNCC)

I chose this topic with one purpose and that purpose was to quince my thirst for
the information desired. An RA is a working position offered at UNCC and it relates to
keeping a living facility safe. The tasks may appear far to simple at times, Note1: (I
would try to find something similar to this because you used it twice in one
sentence.) but in all honesty this job has a series of tasks that at times can leave one
thinking, Is it really worth it? And indeed it is, the experience gained is extraordinary
and the befits may leave one speechless or perhaps mind boggled. Note 2: (I feel like I
somewhat understood what you were trying to say, but I feel that this introduction
can be improved.)
Justification on the actions and decisions that an RA makes will be my main
focus, Ive encountered moments of cruel gestures, regardless of words or childish acts it
left an uneasy feeling in my chest. I noticed that the approach of an RA in an unfortunate
situation is like balancing on a tight rope and constantly getting the nauseous feeling of
slipping off. Note3: (This is a really strong portion of this paragraph, excellent
references!) Its a constant battle against the self, putting aside feelings toward others

and being just and fair, for the better safety of others. To find out the truth behind the
reality I managed a few interviews with several RAs. Ive also taken some very
important notes on a few things Ive witnessed. Colby, Nicole and Troy had some very
valid info on the truth within such a job. Its not easy they all said. Safety may be the
main key focus and the second would be the unification of the student body. To achieve
such unity and safety, precautions are taken. Regardless of friend to friend status, in bad
situations the right thing must be done. Colby stated its not like I can just sweep it under
the rug, as if it were never there. if I cover someone elses mistakes , that mistake
becomes mine, and at point once Ive made the choice, I will have to pay for that mistake
I covered myself, and if the situations is crucial enough, it could jeopardies my job. By
all means this does not mean in any way that an RA is simply off to get a particular
individual. Observations on certain matters have caught my eye. Such as expected grace
in a idiotic moment. Note 3: (You started this paragraph great, but the ending to this
paragraph needs some more meat on the bone)
So lets say an RA catches someone smoking or drinking on campus, the first thing they
are obligated to do, is call the police. I witnessed a scenario where an RA called the cops (was not
present for the phone call), I managed to catch the actions and reactions of the situation, and it
was a site. The student was in fear, the cop just looked more disappointed then anything, and the
RA couldnt even face the student, so he overlooked the situation from feet away. I noticed the
student saw the RA and with words unspoken, the look that came next on his face was of anger,
hate and despite. So Note 4: (This is most definitely the strongest part of this entire paper.
As a reader you feel like you are right in the middle of this dilemma. Great job!) in a
situation such as this, would the RA be wrong? I think not? After all just reasoning was key, so to

avoiding someone elses mistakes , is a act of indecisive wrong choice because as stated, an RA
may lose their job if the actions are not taken accordingly. So does a student have the right to
anger and frustrate ? Indeed not, but in moments like that the student view themselves as the odd
one out, the one that got caught. Causing a naturally accruing anger toward someone else, such as
the RA that got you in trouble. Troy said you get use Note5: (I felt that this ending could use
a tad more detail, it would really help the reader get a better understanding of the
situation. to it, they eventually accept the reality of the matter, and give you respect back,
sometimes more than expected.
We have guide lines for a reason, without these guidelines we fall apart. RAs are like
crutches that are there if one ever needed any help. I will continue this paper, and I will cover all
the other points that havent even been mentioned. Note 6: Thats good to know that this paper
wasnt finished but the beginning of this paragraph will make a great beginning to your

* Even though your paper was not finished, I see a lot of potential with this paper.
There are some strong portions in your paper and I really like the topic you chose because
I think that RAs here at UNC Charlotte do encounter some strange situations as you
described in your paper. When you go back and finish this paper be sure to include how
your observations and data contribute to the six characteristics defined by Swales. Once
you add the Swales portion to your essay, it would really boost this paper. I am also
curious to hear more about your two interviews although you used some quotes from
them in your paper. More observations can be added as well to strengthen this mircoethnography. There were really strong portions throughout this unfinished product and

that is why I see potential in this paper. If you apply your feedback and use the strong
portions throughout your paper, this will turn out to be a great essay. One final thing I
would make sure to do is to make sure your introduction has a thesis statement as well as
asking yourself what are some important things an outsider should know about this
particular community. *