03/22/2015

Vitaly OConnor
Olivia Rines
1101-1102 UWRT
Olivia Rine
Ethnography

Ethnography (RAs at UNCC) Note 1: (Review Purdue

Owl for the correct order for this information. Also, do not forget your header.) Note2:
(Margins should be 1 all around.) Note 3: (Perhaps a more interesting title?)

I chose this topic with one purpose and that purpose was to quince Note 4:
(quench )my thirst for the information desired. An RA is a working position offered at
UNCC and it relates to keeping a living facility safe. The tasks may appear far to simple
at times, but in all honesty this job has a series of tasks that can leave one thinking, Is it
really worth it? And indeed it is, the experience gained is extraordinary and the befits
may leave one speechless or perhaps mind boggled. Note 5: (This introduction needs to
be extended to include the purpose for writing this paper and a thesis statement.)
Justification on the actions and decisions that an RA makes will be my main
focus, Ive encountered moments of cruel gestures, regardless of words or childish acts it
left an uneasy feeling in my chest. I noticed that the approach of an RA in an unfortunate
situation is like balancing on a tight rope and constantly getting the nauseous feeling of

slipping off. Its a constant battle against the self, putting aside feelings toward others and
being just and fair, for the better safety of others. To find out the truth behind the reality I
managed a few interviews with several RAs. Colby, Nicole and Troy had some very
valid info on the truth within such a job. Its not easy they all said. Safety may be the
main key focus and the second would be the unification of the student body. Note 6: (so
are these the common goals?) To achieve such unity and safety, precautions are taken.
Regardless of friend to friend status, in bad situations the right thing must be done. Colby
stated its not like I can just sweep it under the rug, as if it were never there. If I cover
someone elses mistakes, that mistake becomes mine, and at point once Ive made the
choice, I will have to pay for that mistake I covered myself, and if the situations is crucial
enough, it could jeopardies my job. By all means this does not mean in any way that an
RA is simply off to get a particular individual. Observations on certain matters have
caught my eye. Such as expected grace in a idiotic moment. Note 7: (You have yet to
mention the concept of discourse community, which should be the focus of your paper.)
So lets say an RA catches someone smoking or drinking within the living facility,
the first thing they are obligated to do is call the police. I witnessed a scenario where an
RA called the cops (was not present for the phone call), I managed to catch the actions
and reactions of the situation. The student was in fear, the cop just looked more
disappointed then anything, and the RA couldntt even face the student, so he overlooked
the situation from feet away. I noticed the student saw the RA and with words unspoken,
the look that came next on his face was of anger, hate and despite. So in a situation such
as this, would the RA be wrong? I think not? Note 8: (Try to keep your personal opinion
out of the paper.)After all just reasoning was key, to avoiding someone elses mistakes , is

a act of indecisive wrong choice because as stated, an RA may lose their job if the actions
are not taken accordingly. So does a student have the right to anger and frustrate ? Indeed
not, but in moments like that the student view themselves as the odd one out, the one that
got caught. Causing a naturally accruing anger toward someone else, such as the RA that
may have gotten the individual in trouble. Troy said You get use to it, they eventually
accept the reality of the matter, and give you respect back, sometimes more than
expected, we have guide lines for a reason, without these guidelines we fall apart. So
despite of someone not being smart enough to be stupid, in situations like this, there is no
cruel intention behind the matter. I would consider safety as the top feature in this
discourse community. Colby made a statement I found to be very important. RAs are
like crutches that are there if one ever needed any help. Note 9: (What is the purpose of
this paragraph above? What claim are you trying to substantiate with this example?) This
is a discourse community full of characteristics. To Swales, Note 10: (Make sure you
introduce Swales to the reader.) all discourse communities are defined by six
characteristics. In the next few paragraphs ill be focusing on Swales six characteristics,
mainly on how they fit in place in this discourse community.
A discourse community has a broadly agreed set of common public goals. This
is the first Characteristic presented by Swales. This Note 11: (Font should be Times New
Roman throughout.) Characteristic is one of the strongest in the RA discourse
community. There is a very fine set of goals, the first would be safety. Note12: How do
you know this? For example in case of a fire, (there is an RA on each floor) the RA on
each floor would check all the rooms on that floor. Once all students are safely out of the
building, the safety procedure is complete. Another common public goal is to provide

unity among the students. For goals as such RAs have meetings with the RC of a
building. Besides safety regulations and further training, to unify the student body within
a facility, certain tasks are presented to the students. Such as game nights, movies night,
trivia night etc. These are ideas created by the student body that choose to participate in
this community. The ideas are finalized at meetings according to safety and other
regulations. This brings the student body to unify in a social setting within the building.
During the interview I had Ive noticed that a huge goal presented was unity, Colby
stressed this to be a main asset to having a healthy community. He said we are here to
help you!!!!
Swales second concept is A discourse community has mechanisms of
intercommunication among its members. This characteristic fits in Swales chart because
in this community, communication is used to preserve safety. Note 13: (What do you
mean?)For example while on duty an RA may carry a walkie-talkie, or a cellphone
enforced by the community. If there were to be an emergency within the facility late at
night, in witch the night security guard needed to contact the active RA. The cellphone
would be the form of communication used by this community to better care for the
students within it. Note14: A cellphone is not a method of communication. It is an aid.
Phone calls and texts are methods of communication. However, communication should
be between members of the discourse community. How do the RAs communicate with
each other? Ive failed to mention that any student within the facility may contact the RA
on duty in case of emergency. This form of inner communication is beneficial both to the
students and the ones in charge. Nicole was main source on safety, well to be honest just
about everything. But the way she presents safety through communications is well done.

She said Our main focus is your safety, so we are provided with a set of rules that help
us keep you safe. This communitys one form of survival is communications. To satisfy
the residents while keeping them safe communication is constantly used. Note 15: (So
what are the methods of communication? Be explicit.)

The following characteristic: A discourse community uses its participatory

mechanisms primarily to provide information and feedback. Is the third presented by
Swales. In the community Ive chosen, the following characteristic applies because
recreational methods of persuasion to unify the student body are used in witty manners.
Such methods provide feedback from and to. Another form would be surveys promoted
by the community. Or the information provided by the office to the students. There are
at-random notified safety inspections, such inspections cause the student body to give
feedback to the community they live in. I recently had an inspection. Prior to the
inspection Ive noticed a broken chair in my room. At the time of the inspection my
feedback to the community fixed the problem. This characteristic is broken down into so
many sub-minor characteristics that go into creating this characteristic. Note 16: (What
do you mean? Im not sure I understand.) Trey argued how the events chosen by the
community give unrequested feedback. Unrequested feedback is a method used in which
the party accumulates information from its audience by providing events in which the
audience takes part and provides unrequested information, the results are used as
feedback. That feedback is used to better accommodate the residence in that live within
the community. Note 17: (What are the participatory mechanisms? How do the RAs get
the knowledge they need to become members of this community?)

In the following characteristic, which is Swales forth point A discourse

community utilizes and hence possesses one or more genres in the communicative
furtherance of its aims, The RA community fits this criteria due to the genres required to
create this community. For example students, Note 18: (Students are not genres) would
be the genre the community provides care for by creating a new genre of RAs
(experienced qualified students) that tend to the needs of the residents. Being that a genre
of students work for this community, that further on are classified as RAs (Creating a
new genre that blends with the prior genre to better assist the community.) the difference
is the genres are simple, RAs were students that chose to be given responsibilities into
keeping the facility safe, by applying for the benefits the community brings, a great
example would be free housing etc. The genre of students is no less important when it
comes to creating this community. Without the genre of students that these services are
provided for, this community would fall apart. For instance during summer time the
positions of RAs lower down, being that the University only offers 3 buildings for on
campus living. Ive but named a few small examples Note 19: (Which are?) of genres that
come into making this community acceptable. In reality this community is made of
numerous genres, it all depends on how deep one is willing to search and better
understand this community.
In addition to owning genres, last discourse community has acquired a specific
lexis. This would be the fifth characteristic presented by Swales. The community Im
presenting fits in the following characteristic because certain formats are used by the
RAs (formats presented as a new lexis if researched in depth). For example Colby came

up with poker night, the way the community presented itself was trough a new lexis that
Colby chose to present in his own unique way, with goals of unity in the student body.
Each similar community creates a lexis of their own, and that lexis is the way each
community presents itself in different ways from others. Note 20: (What is this lexis?
Explain and give examples.)
The six and final concept that Swales presents is A discourse community has a
threshold level of members with a suitable degree of relevant content and discourse
expertise. Without this characteristic there would be no RA community. This
characteristic fits in the following way. The RA community is made up of members, these
members are students at UNCC that have gone through training, and contain the required
skills to serve in the RA community. Each community has a group of RAs that are
equally qualified for the tasks required. For example, several RAs told me they became
friends with the people after having so many activities together. Some told me they are
simply there for the job but they comply with any setting required of the job. Ive noticed
that the bond that makes this characteristic true, is the bond of similar skills within the
community. These skills bring them together as a team and help them overcome problems
that at times may be a bit difficult. Note 21: (So what is the threshold level of members?)

The following list is a description of the duties carried out by an RA at UNCC.

Provide overall leadership to residents

Assist students with personal and academic concerns

Help resolve group conflicts that may arise

Encourage a cooperative and considerate living environment

Build a positive and inclusive community

Initiate and organize floor, suite, apartment, or hall activities and programs

Serve as an informational resource about campus and residential life

Attend weekly meetings, departmental functions, and RA training sessions

Serve on duty in assigned residential area on a rotating basis with other staff members
(including weekends and some break periods)

Assist with all opening and closing of the halls

Complete a weekly facilities check of assigned area

Serve as academic resources for their residents. Many formal and informal avenues exist
for this purpose, including the academic initiatives for first-year students

Assist with special events like Explore and Admitted Students Days

Attend weekly meetings, departmental functions, and RA training sessions

Other duties as assigned Note 22: (Where did you get this information and how does it
relate to the claims you are trying to make?)

The RA community is a thrilling experience from what Ive heard. And from what
Ive noticed a very spontaneous one as well. Never knowing what may happen, or how
things may turn. But organized and always focused on safety and accommodations
required. This community is bound to survive and flourish, due to the intelligent
decisions made. In doing so, they have built a foundation of respect and trust within the

community. Note 23: (This conclusion should go back to the concept of discourse
community and whether or not your community fits the criteria.)

I really enjoyed reading your draft and learning about your discourse community. I have a
few suggestions for improvement. First, go back and review the article by Swales. Make
sure that you understand the characteristics he describes and then make that
understanding evident in your paper. There were a number of places where you attempted
to show how your discourse community fit one of Swales criteria yet, in actuality, you
were not discussing the criteria. If you are struggling with the text, please let me know.
Second, I would like to see you incorporate your data more. You frequently made claims
but they werent always supported by information from your interviewees or from your
observations. Make sure the reader knows where you are getting your information.
Finally, some of your sentences were a bit confusing. Please make sure that you are being
deliberate in your word choices and thinking about how you are phrasing your thoughts.
If you have questions regarding this aspect, either make an appointment with the Writing
Resources Center or come talk to me.

The following is the rubric for the assignment, including what you would have received
had this draft been your final draft. This grade will not be recorded anywhere. It is simply
a chance for you to see where you stand.

Category

Scoring Criteria

Total

Scor

Point

s
Is focused, clear, purposeful, and meets the needs of the
5

10

5
5

1
1

10

10

audience
Properly addresses the question, What are the most
important things for an outsider to know about this
community?
Describes Swales characteristic #1 (common public
goals)
Describes Swales characteristic #2 (mechanisms of
intercommunication)
Describes Swales characteristic #3 (participatory
Content
(65 points)

mechanisms)
Describes Swales characteristic #4 (utilizes genres)
Describes Swales characteristic #5 (specific lexis)
Describes Swales characteristic #6 (threshold level of
members)
All claims made are supported. Writer uses specific
references to data and/or sources to support claims.
Introduction establishes a framework for the rest of the
paper and includes a thesis statement
Conclusion summarizes the paper and pushes the reader
to think about specific issues/concerns outside of
individual discourse community.

Organizatio
Utilizes a strong internal structure and purposefully moves
n
the reader through the text
(10 points)
Style and

Sentences are all well-crafted and consistently varied in

Convention

structure, length, and beginning. Vocabulary and word

choice are precise and varied.

The writer demonstrates a firm grasp of the conventions

10

of written English (spelling, capitalization, punctuation

(25 points)
Score

etc.). There are no typos.

Is formatted according to the conventions of MLA
Is 1500 2500 words
Total Points

10
5
100

Note: All track changes were made; I just wasnt sure how to show what exactly they
were. But Ive doubled in length to fix my track changes. Thank you

11

7
5
64