Bamondi

Julio Bamondi
Professor Ditch
English 113B; 11:00 A.M.
19 February 2015

The Familys Nonconformist

Why should I be seen as a minority when I seek to obtain an education? In my

familys culture, men are generally expected to go straight into the work force after
graduating high school. After making my decision, to attend college, I have been avoided,
ignored and seen as a minority by three of my male older cousins, aunts, and uncles. I
seek an education due to the positive outcome for my future and to prove them wrong.
Nevertheless did I expect that my own family would turn against me? They see me as less
than a man then my other cousins. In Jason Del Gandio's, Rhetoric for Radicals, it states,
"Our society literally supports the masculine . . . the male counterpart does and stands
alone, which is why 'man' designates humanity at large. Man is constructed as
independent, superior and foundational to humanity" (114-115). In my families culture, a
man is tough, fearless, and generally seen a the position of power, however; I will argue
the true meaning of masculinity, the difficulties of being a nonconformist and the positive
possibilities of obtaining a college education.
Masculinity is usually known for the position of power, never to show emotion,
and always expected to be a "macho man". Why should men be judged if they do not
have or show any of these qualities? For instance, when my family finally knew about my

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decision, to attend college, they see me as less than a man or a feminine man, because my
other male cousins have all gone straight into the work force and are now maintaining
them selves with the help of their parents; however, one out of three of them is
successful. The only reason why that "one" is successful is due to the fact that my aunt,
his mother, is a CEO in an insurance company known as PHP (People Helping People) in
Albuquerque, New Mexico. What is being a man when you cannot support for yourself
and still live with your parents until your twenty six? By being a college graduate and
having a Bachelors degree or higher in the future, I would be able to prove to my family
that an education is not a waist of anyone's time and that I will be successful in the future.
When people seek a college education, they see a future and high incomes.
However what my family sees is debt and a waist of time. There are many opportunities
when an individual has a college degree. There would be end endless amount of jobs that
will only seek college graduates, because it shows dedication and commitment. Due to
the fact that a student spent years to earn a degree. My college experience has been the
best. I am learning many new things that will actually help me in the real world. It is
something that my family would not understand. For instance, when I took a Sociology
course, I now saw in what ways my family would bully and bother me. It really doesn't
bother me anymore, but some of the insults have been pretty overwhelming. I've been
known to be "waist of a human being" , "not a man" , and "feminine (Gay)". Looking past
that, I have overcome these insults because they are not true. I know who I am, and these
labels placed upon me are false. As I look at the greater picture, when I receive my
college education, not only will I prove them wrong but also show them what real hard
work is and prove to them that I and doing this for me. By slaving through hours of no

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sleep to finish a paper, countless numbers of essay pages to write, and long hours of
studying is my meaning of hard work, leading me to think that those are the roles of a
standard and true man. Resulting in better job opportunities.
A nonconformist is a person whose behavior or views do not conform to
prevailing ideas or practices. By that, I am not living up to the family's standards and
breaking away to the traditional practices. By not going into the work force, and deciding
to further my education, my family has ignored and avoided me. This has brought me to
come to a conclusion that obtaining a college education can result into job opportunities.
However, many males are encouraged to go to school, to further their education, but
some fall into the category of not being able to, due to personal reasons. In the article
"Coming Home to Van Nuys" the author, Sandra Tsing Loh, states " You could see the
young cook through the window, sitting by himself"(4). By anticipating and critical
thinking, this young cook could be a family relative that need to be committed in the
family industry, sacrificing many opportunities that may come across to keep is family
restaurant in service. Though I may have not gone through the ,anticipated, difficulties
that the character may have gone through, but I do have difficulties when it comes to my
family's relationship. Regardless of any family gathering, I am always the laughing stock
and the bullied. It has gone to an extent that I had to leave my families event early
because it was hurting my self-esteem and who I am as an individual. I showed emotion.
The emotion of sadness. A characteristic that is looked down upon because it came with
tears. Why should I now be looked down upon when I showed emotion? Does this now
make me less of a man?

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What is a man? Is there even a definition for a certain type of man? In the book,
Journal of Religion and Health, "What is a Man", the author, John E. Skinner states, "The
self is such a character that the theoretical or scientific reason is unable to grasp totally its
meaning and significance"(90). In my understandings, this states that there is no universal
definition for a man. Every male is there own "man" due to the fact that there is no
specific nor exact man. This is what make us unique. In the contrary, why can't my own
family understand that neither do I have to be tough and strong, but I could be sensitive
and educated. Encouragement is a quality that my family needs to understand. To
encourage what we are known to be "America's future." In the U.S. Department of
Education Institute of Education Sciences National Center for Education Statistics, it
states , " Between 2001 and 2011 . . . the numbers of males rose 30%." This shows that
throughout ten years, 30% of males entered college/university. Resulting in new
opportunities and a change in life. What my family doesn't understand is by obtaining a
college education, job opportunities are endless. I will be able to further my education
and become a well educated man. The true meaning of masculinity, to me, is to be
responsible, educated and supportive.
The difficulties of being a nonconformist, in my family are lead to bullying. Just
because I of a intellectual decision that I made, knowing that the opportunities of jobs
would be endless. Also by anticipating that I could have a job secured later on in the
future. Change is good because it may lead to the greater good. By changing the my
family's culture, I will be a role model for the younger generation to emerge later on in
the future. Letting then see that it is a commitment and deduction . My true definition of a
man in my culture.

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Work Cited

Gandio, Jason Del .Rhetoric for Radicals: A Handbook for the 21st Century Activist.
Gabriola Island, BC: New Society, 2008. Print

Loh, Sandra Tsing. "Coming Home to Van Nuys." Depth Takes a Holiday: Essays from
Lesser Los Angeles. New York: Riverhead Book, 1996. 120-23. Print.

Skinner, John E. "What is a Man?." Journal of Religion and Health, 3.1 (1963): 90-96..
Web. 18 Feb. 2015.

U.S. Department of Education Institute of Education SciencesNational Center for

Education Statistics; http://nces.ed.gov/fastfacts/display.asp?id=98