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Allison Jarombek
Advanced Composition
Mrs. Martin
6th Hour
23 December 2014
Why All The Roles?
Gender, the word in essence has a feminine connotation and within gender there are
things society likes to call gender roles. For example, the males are supposed to play sports
and females are supposed to be cheerleaders. I believe this should not be so for everyone. The
definition of gender is the state of being male or female, typically used with reference to social
and cultural differences rather than biological ones (Websters Dictionary). As a child I was
aware of these roles but was taught to be myself. My father didnt want me to end up weak, a
typical stereotype, so he taught me how to defend myself. He taught me how to box. I thought
this was the coolest thing ever so I would brag to my friends about it. Unfortunately, I was teased
by the girls but earned respect from the boys. Ever since I can remember I got along better with
boys than girls. For a while this was a pain, but I eventually learned it was just who I am. Why
should I change who I am in order to please others? I shouldnt and thats why gender roles are
so destructive because we have to sacrifice who we are.
As I got older the roles became more prominent in everyday life. It began to irritate me. A
person cant always help who they are. Why do we ridicule so harshly? Whos to say theyre
wrong? No one should. Sadly, people still judge. People still judge me and make fun of me for
my opinions. Just a few weeks ago, a small group of girls and I were talking about essays and
how we felt about them. While I was explaining my opinion I saw two of the girls smirk and one

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of them rolled her eyes. This outraged me so much that I lost track of what I was saying. I mean
come on! At 18 years old we still respond with childish behavior. Society has brainwashed us
from the time were young to be a certain way and not like ourselves. We must fit in these roles
or something is wrong with us. I dont believe that the roles define us. If anything they harm us.
I wonder if anyone else feels this way. What about male cheerleaders? Homosexual
people? Their children? Those from other countries? Paul Theroux states Even the expression
Be a man! strikes me as insulting and abusive. It means: Be stupid, be unfeeling, obedient,
soldierly and stop thinking, (Rereading America Theroux 1). We as a society are telling not only
adult males, but young boys this. It is not only making them identical clones of each other, but
its also self destructive to their self esteem. Even though its just words they strike right to the
core of every man's being. Its in subliminal messages of all media, especially commercials, for
both men and women. We are trapped in gender boxes with so many but not too constrictions. I
was told that these roles shouldnt apply to my life but they are still constricting me everyday.
How can we fix this boiconstrictor of lies? Well one way is to rebel and let the roles blend.
Roles have actually started to blend. This helps children feel more comfortable. Adults
are the role models for children. When the role models dont stay confined to the gender roles
their children will follow suit. I know this from experience. My mom was a single parent. With
my dads help, they raised me together since I was six months old. My mother became even more
independent when my dad suddenly passed away at the beginning of seventh grade. Seeing my
mom strive for her goals and support me on her own has inspired me to go after my passions in
life.
You can really tell that the roles are blending. My grandmother wanted my mom to be a
secretary or a librarian. Instead, she went for her dreams and got a more powerful job. There is

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proof that the roles are blending, such as a larger degree gap. According to the U.S. Department
of Education in Kindlons article In 2005, nearly 59 percent of undergraduate degrees were
granted to women. Women are striving for higher achieving jobs, blending to change. Its not
just women who are the reactants in this equation. Men say that they are willing to do more work
at home and take a pay cut to spend more time with their families. In fact this is true for seventy
percent of men. (Rereading America Kindlon 621,625) Role blending doesnt just apply to
heterosexual people, but also to homosexual people.
Role blending greatly impacts homosexuals. Society stereotypes homosexuality. Being
homosexual in a herterosexual world is one of the greatest rebellions a person can experience.
With homosexuality comes homophobia. Homophobia is the dislike of or prejudice against
homosexual people. The mindset dress like a homo, dance like a homo, must be a homo,
swarms throughout America making it dangerous to be yourself (Rereading America Vazquez
473). People are persecuted but for the appearance of homosexuality. Thirty percent of our
senses are devoted to sight which means we rely on what we see more than anything else. Sight
helps our brain interpret the outside world and those interpretations come with opinions. No
wonder we judge people on what they wear. Judging is a way we deal with the fear of the strange
and unknown. Its how we keep ourselves in the destructive gender roles. A common response
for why someone thinks someone is gay is They look gay. How can we dictate whats gay and
whats not? We cant. Its extremely unfair to judge a book by its cover yet the persecution is still
happening. Shouldnt we be able to be who we want to be? When who we are is ridiculed, we
want to rebel. Its almost like were too scared to rebel. In first grade I hung out with mostly
boys. My entire grade included 15 people, 6 girls and 9 boys. I decided that I wanted all the girls
over for a sleepover for my birthday which turned out to be a huge mistake. At one point in the

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party the queen bee decided it would be funny to pull out my underwear and throw it around
the room. When they started to do this they shrieked with laughter. What kind of underwear is
this? one of them squealed, You have boy underwear! My underwear wasnt unusual it was
just blue. From then on they teased me in little ways. I cannot say this is a direct result from only
gender roles but they did cause the conflict. This is why they are socially destructive.
Because of conflicting ideas from different groups in society there is a lot of tension
between many different groups. One main conflict is between the church groups and gay rights
groups. Both groups have taken their stands strongly. They are being more destructive than
anything. Its little kids fighting over whos right. Little kids are stubborn and will fight you to
the very end. This accomplishes NOTHING. It becomes one group blaming the other for their
problems.
We need to change this but how do we do it? These groups need to stop judging each
other based on the stereotypes. As a community, we need to teach children that its okay to be
different. A good friend of mine from church wrote this statement All together now You can
be a feminist and still be pro-life. You can be a Christian and still support gay rights. You can
believe whatever you want to as long as you arent a jerk about it. Got it?. I completely agree
with her. In society we are told its one way or the other. You cant have both. Just like The Story
of X the neighbors of X, a genderless child, stayed away from Xs family because they thought
it was impossible to be both. Even the relatives of the family were embarrassed. A typical
conversation would end up something like this People will think theres something wrong with
it! they whispered. Nonsense! the Joneses said stoutly. What could possibly be wrong with
this perfectly adorable X? (Gould 1). We all need to have this mindset for us to prosper. I work

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on being more accepting everyday and to be honest it is extremely difficult. Equality is the main
goal. Do we practice what we preach? Not really.
The older I get the more I realize how important equality is. The world that I live in is
ready to rip us apart and why is that? Well its because society, including us, has made it that
way. We are causing our own demise. Lisa Kelypas once said You are your own worst enemy. If
you can learn to stop expecting impossible perfection, in yourself and others, you may find the
happiness that has always eluded you. (Kelypas) How can I stop being my worst enemy? The
answer is within everyone. I dare you to make one change in your attitude to stop the destructive
behavior. Stop accepting that beauty and the way we should be is defined by the world. It is
defined by you. Decide how you view yourself. Teenagers are the group who needs to clear out
their dense minds and listen. The low self-esteem brought on by the ever judgemental society has
caused the number of suicides in adolescents to rise dramatically. The Center for Disease Control
reported that suicide among adolescents between the ages of 10 and 24 years old was the third
leading cause of death (Rereading America Mancarella pg 1). This only includes the
successful suicides not the attempted suicides or the thoughts of suicides. The over
sexualization of women in media is not helping either. A Burger King ad shows a woman being
blown away by a sandwich. This ad is sending subliminal messages to women and young
girls in society. It says wear makeup, be sexual, its okay to do this, and many more. Ads such as
this one help solidify our roles in society. These pressures make it impossible to get along with
everyone (Barnes 1). Even high school students have trouble with sexual gender roles. If you
have a boyfriend you get exiled. My freshman year of high school. I was not included in many
things my friends were doing because I hung out with my boyfriend too much. I felt pushed
towards him more and more because of being not included. Rumors were spread that I was

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basically a whore and having sex all the time. I felt so alone even with all the people around me.
I was to my breaking point. I contemplated suicide. Its not like I had a plan, I was just
wondering how many pills it would take to end it all. When my mom eventually found out about
my thoughts, I was embarrassed. I didnt want to go to therapy because I didnt want to be
thought of as weak. It appalls me that we feel ashamed to have emotions. What can we do to fix
this? How can we make the roles more equal?
The first thing we need to do is rebel. I mean how else are we supposed to change
anything! Im going to say no to the ridiculous expectations and hope I wont be alone. One way
to fix the roles is to teach classes based on acceptance in school and talk about it in the home and
in media. It starts with the youth of the nation and I mean the super youth. In the Story of X
the kids noticed that X had more fun doing what it wanted so they decided to join in. The parents
didnt like this and banned their children from playing with X. It was too late though. The Other
Children stayed mixed up and happy and free and refused to go back to
the way theyd been before X (Gould 3).
Children from a young age are not defined by gender naturally
but are taught it by society aka their parents. We must teach the youth
that they can be whatever they want. We should not be defined by
destructive roles. I am breaking free from my cage by turning a blind
eye to society like I should have a long time ago. We should strive to make the roles more equal
to prevent other problems that go along with constraints, such as depression, suicide, self-esteem
issues, identity crises, sexual discrimination and violence. We must change how we think and
ultimately how society thinks. The bottom line is that we need to stop judging and be more
accepting.

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The rebellion must start now. The world is changing so we must make our move. The
time is now. The gender roles are socially destructive which leads to physical destruction. Its a
terrible domino effect but we can stop it. If we blend roles, become more accepting, and take
small steps; we can accomplish anything. I just have one question for you. What do you want
your role to be?

Works Cited
Vollenweider, Rebekah. Digital image. Facebook. N.p., 09 Nov. 2013. Web. 21 Nov. 2014.

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Mancarella, Krista. "Adolescent Suicide: New Statistics: New Insights into the Unthinkable."
Adolescent Suicide: New Statistics: New Insights into the Unthinkable. Kids Peace Institute, n.d.

Web. 21 Nov. 2014.

Barnes, Lyndsay. "Sexualized." Web log post. World Press.com. World Press.com, 27 Oct.

2010. Web. 17 Nov. 2014.

Kleypas, Lisa. "Quotes About Enemy." (253 Quotes). Good Reads, n.d. Web. 18 Nov. 2014.
Colombo, Gary, Robert Cullen, and Bonnie Lisle. Rereading America. 7th ed. N.p.: Bedford/St.
Martin's, 2007. Print. Rereading America.
Gould, Lois. The Story of X.Rereading America. 7th ed. Colombo, Gary, Robert Cullen, and

Bonnie Lisle. N.p.: Bedford/St. Martin's, 2007. Print.

Theroux, Paul. Being a Man. Rereading America. 7th ed. Colombo, Gary, Robert Cullen, and

Bonnie Lisle. N.p.: Bedford/St. Martin's, 2007. Print.

Kindlon, Dan. The Descent of Men. Rereading America. 7th ed. Colombo, Gary, Robert
Cullen,
and Bonnie Lisle. N.p.: Bedford/St. Martin's, 2007. Print.
Mancerella. Rereading America. 7th ed. Colombo, Gary, Robert Cullen, and Bonnie Lisle. N.p.:
Bedford/St. Martin's, 2007. Print.
Barnes. Rereading America. 7th ed. Colombo, Gary, Robert Cullen, and Bonnie Lisle. N.p.:
Bedford/St. Martin's, 2007. Print.