Bamondi

Julio Bamondi
Professor Ditch
English 113B
8 May 2015
The Familys Nonconformist
Why should I be seen as a minority when I seek to obtain an education? In my familys
culture, men are generally expected to go straight into the work force after graduating high
school. After making my decision, to attend college, I have been avoided, ignored and seen as a
radical by three of my male older cousins, aunts, and uncles. I seek an education due to the
positive opportunities for my future and to prove them that an education is worth a greater future.
Nevertheless did I expect that my own family would turn against me. They see me as less than a
man then my other cousins, who are not in school. In my familys culture, a man is expected to
be tough, fearless, and generally seen a position of power, however; I will argue the true meaning
of masculinity and the difficulties of being a nonconformist.
A nonconformist is a person whose behavior or views do not conform to prevailing ideas
or practices. By that, I am not living up to the family's standards and breaking away to the
traditional practices. By not going into the work force, and deciding to further my education, my
family has ignored and avoided me. This has brought me to a conclusion that obtaining a college
education can result into job opportunities. However, many males are encouraged to go to
school, to further their education, but some fall into the category of not being able to, due to
personal reasons. In the article My Hips, My Caderas, Author Alisia Valdes-Rodrigues states,
My father is Cuban [. . .] My mother is white and American, as blue eyed as they come[. . .]My

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volumptuous/big hips are both Cuban and American [. . .] I also carefully prepare myself for how
differently my womanly/fat hips will be treated in my two realities.[. . .] My mothers people hate
my hips [. . .] I sometimes hear the suburban anorexics whisper [. . .] My God, would you look
at those hips [. . .} I am sad. I drive home and examine my hips in the mirror, hit them for being
so imprudent [. . .] Usually I get over it but it always comes back to me. Valdez-Rodrigues is
tied between two sides, either to embrace what God has given her or to listen to what other races
have to say. She comes to a conclusion that she embraces her cuban hips because it is hereditary.
As a nonconformist, regardless of any family gathering, I am always the target laughing stock
and the bullied. It has gone to an extent that I had to leave my families event early because it was
hurting my self-esteem and who I am as an individual. As a man, we are told to not show
emotions and to suck it up; however, I showed emotion. A characteristic that is looked down
upon because it came with tears. Why should I now be looked down upon when I showed
emotion? Does this now make me less of a man?
What is a man? Is there even a definition for a certain type of man? In the book, Journal
of Religion and Health, "What is a Man", the author, John E. Skinner states: "The self is such a
character that the theoretical or scientific reason is unable to grasp totally its meaning and
significance"(90). This states that there is no universal definition for a man. Every male is there
own "man", due to the fact that there is no specific or exact man. This is what makes us unique.
In the contrary, why cant my own family understand that neither do I have to be tough and
strong, but I can be educated? College use to be male dominates for only males. Encouragement
is a quality that my family needs to understand. To encourage what we are known to be
"America's future." In the U.S. Department of Education Institute of Education Sciences

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National Center for Education Statistics states, Between 2001 and 2011 . . . the numbers of
males rose 30%." This shows that throughout ten years, 30% of males entered college/university.
Resulting in new opportunities and a change in life. What my family doesn't understand is by
obtaining a college education, job opportunities are endless. I will be able to further my
education and become a well-educated man. The true meaning of masculinity, to me, is to be
responsible, educated and supportive.
Masculinity is usually occupies the position of power. In Jason Del Gandio's, Rhetoric
for Radicals, he states, "Our society literally supports the masculine [ . . . ] the male counterpart
does and stands alone, which is why 'man' designates humanity at large. Man is constructed as
independent, superior and foundational to humanity" (114-115). Why should men be judged if
they do not have or show any of these qualities? For instance, when my family finally knew
about my decision to attend college, they saw me as less than a man or a feminine man, because
my other male cousins have all gone straight into the work force and are now maintaining them
selves with the help of their parents; however, one out of three of them is successful. The only
reason why that "one" is successful is due to the fact that my aunt, his mother, is a CEO in an
insurance company known as PHP (People Helping People) in Albuquerque, New Mexico. What
is being a man when you cannot support for yourself and still live with your parents until your
twenty-six? By being a college graduate and having a Bachelors degree or higher in the future, I
would be able to prove to my family that an education is not a waist of anyone's time and that I
will be successful in the future.
When people seek a college education, they see a future and high incomes. However
what my family sees is debt and a waist of time. There are many opportunities when an

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individual has a college degree. There would be end endless amount of jobs that will only seek
college graduates, because it shows dedication and commitment. Due to the fact, a student will
spend years to earn a degree. My college experience has been the best. I am learning many new
things that will actually help me in the real world. It is something that my family would not
understand. For instance, when I took a Sociology course, I now saw in what ways my family
would bully and bother me. It really doesn't bother me anymore, but some of the insults have
been pretty overwhelming. I've been known to be "waist of a human being, "not a man,
"feminine, and Gay". Looking past that, I have overcome these insults because they are not
true. I know who I am, and these labels placed upon me are false. As I look at the greater
picture, when I receive my college education, not only will I prove them wrong but also show
them what real hard work is and prove to them that I and doing this for me. By slaving through
hours of no sleep to finish a paper, countless numbers of essay pages to write, and long hours of
studying is my meaning of hard work. These actions, of hard work, are the roles of a standard
and true man. Resulting in better job opportunities.
As a radical in my familys culture, I have valued the true meaning of what the term
masculinity embraces. A man is typically occupies the position of power, tough, and fearless.
However, in my culture, masculinity means to be educated and being successful with no help by
others. Breaking the familys social norm has brought great difficulties onto my life. Stating that
failure will become my best friend. These comments do not affect me, but make me a stronger
person that I intended to be. As the nonconformist of the family, I will embrace my true meaning
of masculinity.

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Works Cited

Gandio, Jason Del .Rhetoric for Radicals: A Handbook for the 21st Century Activist.
Gabriola Island, BC: New Society, 2008. Print

Skinner, John E. "What is a Man?." Journal of Religion and Health, 3.1 (1963): 90-96..
18 Feb. 2015.

U.S. Department of Education Institute of Education SciencesNational Center for

Education Statistics
Valdes,Alisa."MyHips,MyCaderas."MyHips,MyCaderas(2000):5759.Print.

Web.