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Dear Angee:

I KNOW what the Bible says about the Man being the head of the
household. But Ive been extremely blessed in my career and financially.
So when I get married, chances are, Ill be making a lot more than my
husband. So- what does it mean for him to be the head spiritually, if hes
not the head financially or naturally? Do I still have to defer to him?
To answer your question in shortThe answer is YES!!! Yes, you are still
required to defer to your husband. However, In order to attempt to answer this
question in more detail, I think we have to explore a few terms and definitions.
We must first consider that: Men and Women react to Money very differently. Money
is not the same nor means the same for everyone. This alone can be problematic in
a relationship and marriage. Its important to realize here, that in some cases, what
a man does is a deep part of who he is. We will come back to this.
The term Power is multifaceted and difficult to sum up in one definition. However, in
regards to this specific question, Power means the control over the access to or
control over resources etc. So if a woman makes more Money, she also has access
to more Financial Resources. Furthermore, if priorities differ over the distribution of
those resources. A Power struggle most definitely will ensue. And herein lies the
In many cases, Society ties and equates leadership of the man to his ability to
provide financially for his family. However, leadership of the home and in a marriage
is much more than finances or financial power.
The role of the man is to be the head of his house, regardless of whether his wife
makes more money or not. A mans Leadership should never be based on his
I dont believe you have to make the most money in your home to be the leader. I
dont believe the person that makes the most money is the head or holds the most
power either. Thats societal norms. I dont follow societys principles, I follow Gods
Word and principles. A mans Leadership should never be based on his income.
The man leads the home in various aspects such as: ...Spiritually: leading devotion,
leading prayer time or attending church services. A Man Leads Emotionally by:
having a listening ear, listening to all family members and making Godly prayerful
decisions. A Man can Lead Socially: planning vacations, outings, attending family
functions, date nightsetc. A Man Leads Intellectually: teaching his children, his
wife, encouraging education, helping with homework, studying, having worldview
discussions, biblical discussions about the word of God, sharing wisdom and
As a Husband leads his home/family in all of these ways, the woman is to Submit
herself to the mans leadership in their institution of marriage. A womans role in
the home is to submit to the leadership of the man, regardless of her position, title
or income outside the home.

The term Submission is also not what society has made it be. Submission is having
an Opinion/Suggestion and Still Sharing your Opinion(a Womens Wisdom LOL)
BUT.willingly deferring your opinion/suggestion to your Husbands Authority
and praying that he makes the right choice and decision with the help of God!!!!
(you might need to Reread that.. lol). Wives must Trust the God in their Husbands;
ultimately trusting God!
Another part of Submission, is learning the skill of how to let your opinion and
message across to your husband without him feeling berated. This can be
challenging, but possible. Here are a few Suggestions that I know that might help:

Pray for Wisdom

Appreciate what he does. Whatever he does, how much or how little it is.
Appreciate it. Show him, tell him.
Support his dreams and Ambitions.
Encourage his abilities, gifts and talents
Communicate Often. Check in with him
Your Spouse is not your Enemy. Satan is !!. Eph. 6:12
Consider him in Everything you Do. Everything! I mean Everything.
Did I say EVERYTHING??!!
Be his Wife, not his Mom
Praise his Accomplishments
Defer to your Spouse with enthusiasm to his Ideas and Plans. However, be
sure to be honest in your Input and Give your suggestions in Love. Prov.
Follow his leadership and submit to him, this doesnt mean submit or follow
wrongdoing or sin! It is not Gods will that we follow blindly.
Help him, you are his help meet.
Make you husband a priority over the kids. They need to see that your
relationship is important. Make a date night a priority in your life. Prepare for
it, Talk about it.
Look for ways to honor him and Reverence him. If you dont know
how. Ask him! Communicate to find out how he needs you to
reverence him and honor him. And then make Plans to do it. Make a
Conscious Effort.
In most cases: Men need our Respect even more than our Love!

Personally, when I think about marriage and the roles of both man and woman, it is
extremely a deep concept. Im convinced many people, single and even married
still dont understand What marriage really means and how God actually really
views marriage. Biblically, God compares and likens marriage to the church. Gods
highest purpose in marriage: is to showcase the intimate relationship
between Christ and his People. (reread that!!! ) In other words we are acting out
a living parable where husbands represent Christ and Wiveswell we represent the
Church, to bring Glory to God and to help our children and others around us to grasp
what God is like in a very real and concrete way.
We cant do this by ourselves. Just as we need Gods help to be obedient servants
and to live right. We need Gods help to be help meets to our husbands.

In conclusion, I believe the bible, the Man is the head! And how much money you
make has nothing to do with you honoring him as your head, reverencing him,
respecting him, supporting him, considering him and communicating with him. This
is Gods will for you as a Woman and a Wife.
Try reading these Scriptures:

I Peter 3:7;

Prov. 31:10-31;

Eph. 5:25-33

I dont have anymore scriptures, I know there are more, but didnt have time to fully research like
I wanted to.