Running Head: REMINISCENE AND THERAPEUTIC COMMUNCATION

Reminiscence and Therapeutic Communication for the Older Adult

Navjot Deol
Dominican University of California
Due: March 18, 2013

REMINISCENCE AND THERAPEUTIC COMMUNICATION

Reminiscence is any recall of the past. Facilitating the reminiscing process with an older
adult is beneficial for both the older adult and the facilitator. It allows for therapeutic
communication, which is the use of certain communication methods that allow people to express
their personal thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Reminiscence improves quality of life,
communication skills, socialization, and connectedness. To take a closer look at the interplay
between reminiscence and therapeutic communication, I conducted an interview of my eightyseven year old grandmother, Ranjeet Kaur.
My grandmother was born in India, but has been residing in the United States for the past
twenty-six years. She is fluent in Punjabi. She completed the fifth grade when she was twelve
and got married when she was sixteen years old. A year before moving to the Unites States, her
husband passed away and she has been a widow since. She has two sons; the oldest, my uncle,
has two children and the youngest, my father, has four. This information gives us a general
overview of Ranjeet Kaur. However, throughout the reminiscence process, I was able to dive
deeper into her rich past and the overall process became therapeutic.
After I asked my grandmother for her permission to interview her, she asked me what I
would like to know about her. At this point, I looked at my list of questions and asked what her
favorite memory of India was. She stated that she just liked the environment and residing there.
This was not the very in depth answer I was expecting, but it was a start. I then asked about her
education in India and what school was like. She laughed, saying that she did attend a formal
school. There was an older lady in the village, who taught a few students to read and write in
Punjabi.
I then asked whether she ever wanted to learn English. She stated that she really regrets
not learning English, but she was too busy raising her children and grandchildren and taking care

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of the household. Also, her oldest son did not think it was a useful use of her time to learn
English and that she should focus more on the household. Since I noticed a tone of sadness in her
voice after this topic, I decided to change the topic to her children and grandchildren. One
implication of reminiscence is to integrate and accept regrets and disappointments (Touhy &
Jett, 2010, pg. 40). I felt that by changing topics, she was able to share her regrets without
lingering on what could have been.
When asked to tell me more about her children, she told me that she was eighteen when
she had her first child, just two years after her arranged marriage. About five years later, there
was another boy that she would have had, but a miscarriage occurred. Her youngest came several
years after that. It is important to come to terms with difficult issues in the past and discussing
them is an integral part of that. The final stage in the grieving process is acceptance and she did
not seem in any distress when she mentioned her miscarriage. However, I understood that her
loss must have been a major hurdle in her life that she has now overcome.
Since I knew that she has resided in several different places, I asked her which place she
liked to live at the most and why. She responded that the years she spent living in Berkeley and
Emeryville were the best. She moved to American Canyon about five years ago with her
youngest son. I then asked her how long it has been since she moved to the United States from
India. She stated that she moved a year after her husband passed away, so it has been twenty-six
years now. Mentioning her husband reminded her of the topic of her schooling that we talked
about earlier. She told me that my grandfather was fluent in Urdu and English. However, he did
not know how to read or write in Punjabi, only speak it. Therefore, my grandmother taught him
how to read and write in Punjabi, which allowed him to pray and be closer to their religion,
Sikhism. She seemed really proud of that memory.

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Although her husband passed away, she was able to share positive and humorous stories
about the time she spent with him. She also mentioned that the first school my grandfather
attended had many monkeys roaming around the campus. My grandfather was so scared of those
monkeys that he had to switch schools. We had a good laugh at this. The use of humour as a
means of communication can catch a persons attention and has the capacity to hold it.
Reminiscing with humour not only provides opportunities to enjoy it, but also gives permission
to express it (Killick, 2003, pg 24-26). Her story reminded me of when my little brother was
walking to kindergarten with me and my grandmother and got so scared of a big tree that he
started crying. When I reminded my grandmother of the story, we both could not stop laughing.
In reminiscence, it is important to participate as equals, and enjoy each others contributions
(Touhy & Jett, 2012, pg. 41). Bringing your own stories into the conversation when appropriate
can enhance the process.
Since those questions allowed her to think about her favorite places and memories, I
asked a similar question: what is your greatest accomplishment in life? She stated that being with
her children and grandchildren gives her the most joy and they are her greatest accomplishments.
I then asked: what advice did your parents give you that you still carry with you today? She
responded that she was taught and continues to follow the advice to not argue with anyone and
live your life full of love and joy. After she said this, I nodded my head in agreement. This
nonverbal communication is important to show that you are actively listening and are truly
engaged in the information the individual has to offer.
I felt that this would be a good place to end my reminiscence interview process. After I
thanked her for her time she said that at least this assignment gave me an excuse to sit down and
talk to her. We then started talking about my little brother and his shenanigans and other little

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things that made us laugh and I was able to keep her company for a little while after the
interview. The reminiscence interview got our everyday conversation started and my
grandmother was able to enjoy something simple yet essential: socializing.
Overall, reminiscing about ones past and having someone truly listen and be your
companion is an essential part of healthy aging. It allows the person who is reminiscing to feel
that their stories are valuable and worth sharing. It provides a sense of belonging, connectedness,
and enhances self-worth. It allows the person to be in tune with their identity and personal
growth. The person who is facilitating this process is able to learn a lot about that individuals
past, relationships, strengths, and fears. In the healthcare setting, when a nurse takes the time to
listen to an older person share memories and life stories, it communicates respect and valuing of
the individual (Touhy & Jett, 2010, pg. 42). This process allows a healthcare provider to get a
more holistic view of the individual and thus can improve their care and quality of life.

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References:
1. Killick, J, 2003, Funny Sad and Friendly: a drama project in Scotland
Journal of Dementia Care, Jan/Feb 2003
2. Touhy, T., & Jett, K. (2010). Gerontological nursing & healthy aging. (3rd ed., pp. 40-42).
Mosby Elsevier.