From David DeAngelo
Tension. Now, just because one of these
SEXUAL TENSION... AND HOW TO
CREATE IT...
Let me ask you a quick question.
It's a question that MOST men do NOT
know the answer to...
It's also a question that most women DO
know the answer to...
The question: "What is SEXUAL
TENSION?"
Take a minute and "mentally answer" that
question. Think it over if you have to.
I'm not kidding. Think about it.
What did you come up with?
To most men, the words "Sexual Tension"
are a
MYSTERY.
They just don't make sense.
Or if they DO make sense, they make
sense in a way that DOESN'T make sense.
Make sense?
In other words, some guys think that the
words Sexual Tension mean "negative
anxiety about sex" or something equally
unhelpful.
But, if you go ask a group of WOMEN
what the words mean, you'll get a MUCH
different answer.
Women know what Sexual Tension is.
To a woman, Sexual Tension is the feeling
that she feels during those times when she is
interacting with a man that she feels
ATTRACTION for... but she doesn't know
exactly what's going to happen.
Maybe she can't tell if he's into her, but the
Conversation is so good that something
MUST be happening...
Maybe he's making her laugh a little bit
"too much", and she's unable to control her
feelings towards him...
Or maybe it's obvious that he's interested,
but he's so in control of himself and the
situation that he's not blatantly "making a
move"... and she's on the edge of her seat
waiting to know what's going to happen.
These are all possible examples of Sexual
situations is happening doesn't mean that
Sexual Tension is present.
But these are the types of situations where
it is MOST LIKELY to be present.
With that, let me see if I can take you
behind the scenes and give you a different
perspective.
Men and women have some BIG
differences when it comes to
ATTRACTION.
Men have their "attraction mechanisms"
"triggered" by much different things than
women.
For women, things usually begin with a
small spark.
Eye contact for a little too long.
A Cocky & Funny comment.
A teasing remark.
It can be anything.
The point is that SOMETHING SPARKS
the ATTRACTION.
Then it GROWS over time.
It doesn't have to be a lot of time, but it
does usually require time.
It might take an evening, or it might take a
date or two... but if a man does all the right
things he can AMPLIFY one these little
sparks of attraction into a powerful
emotional feeling for a woman... that is too
much for her to resist.
Of course, as we both know, a man can
usually feel a sexual attraction to a woman
INSTANTLY.
I'm sure you've had a woman smile at you
and BOY-OY-OY-OY-ING. SCHWING.
AWWWWW YAYAHHHHH.
What's worse, we totally don't get how
things work for women.
So we tend to do all the WRONG things.
And when we do all the WRONG things,
women don't even get the little sparks that
can grow into full-blown ATTRACTION.
So let's talk about Sexual Tension...
Why "Tension"?
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 Most people don't like the idea of
"tension".
It's uncomfortable.
It usually means confrontation or dealing
with someone who's mad at you or who
doesn't like you.
Tension is seen as a NEGATIVE by most
people.
And when most men feel ANY type of
tension around a woman, they make a
HUGE mistake...
THEY RELEASE THE TENSION.
Because most guys are so caught up in the
"tension is bad" way of thinking, they
DESTROY all of the great Sexual Tension
that arises in the situations they find
themselves in with women.
It's a total bummer.
So, the first thing I'm going to ask you to
do, for the purposes of understanding this
concept, is to put your ideas of what tension
is and how it works behind you.
Open your mind to a new way of thinking.
Become "OK" with the idea of
CREATING TENSION when you're around
women that you feel an attraction for... and
even AMPLIFYING that tension.
And realize that if you can do this, women
will LOVE you for it. Women, and
especially ATTRACTIVE women who are
approached all the time by loser guys, don't
enjoy dating guys who are boring,
predictable, and lame.
They love guys who are unpredictable,
mysterious, and CHALLENGING.
They love guys who keep them guessing
what's going to happen next.
And they love guys who can keep the
TENSION BUILDING, and NOT LET UP.
Here are a few ideas for "sparking" that
initial tension that I'm talking about...
1) TEASE
If you want to INSTANTLY change the
way a hot, stuck-up woman is behaving,
TEASE HER about something.
Now, not all beautiful women are stuck up.
Duh.
But, teasing works PARTICULARLY well
when a woman IS stuck up... lol.
Maybe it's her big purse.
Or her tall shoes.
Or her "runway model" walk.
Whatever.
Just tease her.
Say, "Hey, what's with the big purse?
You're not one of those women with a live
dog named "Precious" in there, along with
organic vegan high-protein treats for when
she's in the mood to be pampered, are you?"
It doesn't matter.
Just say something to tease her.
Oh, and it's usually better if you can do
this with a STRAIGHT FACE. This creates
even MORE tension. If you MUST smile,
make sure it's the "I'm only smiling because
I know that you can't believe how confident
I am that you love me" kind of smile.
2) EYE CONTACT
When a man and a woman make eye
contact for the FIRST TIME, it's USUALLY
the man who looks away first.
Men are WUSSIES when it comes to
doing things that say "I'm a strong, confident
person".
Looking away when you make eye contact
with a woman is one of those things. BIG
TIME.
Instead, if you HOLD the eye contact until
SHE looks away (and you don't fidget or
twitch like you've got some strange bug
crawling up your shirt), it will send a strong
signal.
Oh, and it has a good chance of "sparking"
this attraction that we're talking about.
3) ROLE PLAY
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 Often an opportunity will come up when
you're meeting a woman where you'll want
to instantly shift into a "roll play".
Maybe she mentions that she's getting a
new job. Tell her that you sure hope it pays
well, because she's going to have to support
both of you...
And then tell her that you hope she has
enough energy to cook at night after work,
because you need a wife who can bring
home the bacon, AND fry it up in a pan...
Then tell her that something she just said
screwed it all up for you, and that you're
probably going to wind up divorcing her a
week after you get married... and taking half
of HER money.
Roll playing is fun, and if it's done right it
can REALLY spark this tension that we're
talking about.
The point is that you have to SPARK it.
YOU must lead the way, and YOU must
do something to create that little moment
where things transition into "we're playing
like adults". Women feel this, and respond to
it INSTANTLY.
- TURNING UP THE TENSION
Now, once you've sparked this tension and
engaged her into an interesting banter, it's
time to DIAL UP THE TENSION.
That's right, I said, CREATE MORE
TENSION.
Let's say that you were talking to her about
making a lot of money so she can support
you, and she answered with, "Well, I can
support you, but you're going to have to do
all the housework, dishes, and take care of
the kids".
Most guys would be thinking to
themselves "Cool, she's having fun with me,
I'll say something to make her like me now".
So they'd say, "OK, I can do that" or
something equally dumb-assed.
This is the place to TURN IT UP.
Say, "Oh, no you don't. I'm the man here. I
get to lie around all day watching TV.., then
go out with my friends when you get home".
Reversing gender stereotypes like this, and
teasing is all kinds of fun.
At this point the woman might open her
mouth with the "Oh no you didn't just say
that" look.
Of course, you should look back at her,
raise your eyebrows, and slowly nod your
head, as if to imply "Oh yes, you're going to
support me".
This is just one example.
Here are a few more, just so you really "get"
what it is that I'm saying.
1) DON'T take advantage of something.
Let's say that the woman you're talking to
is wearing a sexy outfit. She gets up and
walks across the room to get something. She
KNOWS that you're going to be looking at
her.
BUT YOU DON'T.
When she turns around to come back,
you're looking down at your shoes, and
commenting about what great taste you
have.
THIS IS SUBTLE, BUT POWERFUL.
Not taking advantage of a look, a touch, a
kiss, etc. when it's available DIALS UP the
Sexual Tension.
2) Push her away.
Let's say that you have your first kiss.
PUSH HER AWAY gently just before the
kiss "should" be finished.
Shake your head.
Say, "you're trouble".
TENSION BUILDS.
3) End interactions first.
If you're talking to her on the phone, and
you're both enjoying the conversation, say,
"OK, I've got things to do. See ya."
This is MAGIC.
Not only are you ending a great
conversation when it was on an UP note, but
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you're also not trying to get anything from It's as important to learn how to change
her. how you think and feel as it is to learn the
Most guys cling and stay on the phone words and actions.
forever, then ask for a date or if they can call You must start on the INSIDE, and work
later. your way OUTSIDE.
DON'T DO IT. You can have the 100 best pick up lines
Just get off the phone. ever created memorized word-for-word, but
If it's the end of the date, leave just a little if you care too much what women think of
bit too soon. you, then THEY WON'T WORK WORTH A
The point is to create TENSION in the DAMN.
moment. In fact, almost NOTHING WILL WORK
- EVERYDAY SITUATIONS if you don't have your Inner Game together.
In just about every situation there is an
opportunity to TURN UP THE TENSION.
When you do this, you create a very
special emotion for women.
It's that combination of her laughing, her
not knowing what's going to come next, and
you not acting like a WUSSY...
It's that special curiosity that is aroused
inside of a woman when she doesn't know
what's going to happen... but she WANTS to
know...
It's that magical moment when it's obvious
that most guys would start acting like
CLINGY WUSSBAGS, and you're just
leaning back as if you've got all the time in
the world... and you need nothing.
These things spark and amplify Sexual
Tension.
And they INSTANTLY communicate to
women that you understand something that
most men DON'T.
Now, of course this isn't a simple topic.
There's a lot more to it.
In fact, one of the most important factors
in creating sexual tension is your ability to
not act needy... which has more to do with
your self image and overcoming your
insecurities than it does with your
"behaviors" alone.
As you probably know, I believe that it's as
important to work on your "Inner Game" as
it is to work on our "Outer Game".