Comunicacién afirmativaTransactional : Analysis, Assertiveness, and Conflict Resolution Teaming Objectives After complting this chapter, you should be abl tos J. Describe the three ego states of transactional analy, 2. Explain the three types of transactions. & {Beauly the diferences among pasve, agressive, and assertive behavior 4. List the four steps of assertive behavior. 5. Explain when a conflict exists ©. State when and how to use five conflict management syle, J Est he steps of nitiatng, responding to, and mediating conf reschtons, 8. Define the following M4 key terms fin order of appearance inthe chapter): transactional avoiding XYZ model analysis conflict style Fesponding to con- ego states accommodating ict resolution types of conflict style steps ‘transactions compromising mediating conflict assertiveness conflict style resolution steps conflict collaborating forcing conflict conflict style style initiating conflict resolution steps266 Chapter Outline PART 11 OtberStita infusing Behar, Human Relains and Performance ‘Transactional Analyis go Siaies Types ef Treneactons Life Psidons and Svoking Assertiveness Passive Behavior sine Behavor {cee nt tips Panive-Aguresine Beanor Asser Behr Conflict Management Siyles Reasons or Conflict and Aveiing Confics Forcing Confit Sic Avoiding Contes Soe Accominodaing Conc Spe Gomprowising Contr Soe Colaborating Contes Sone Resoting Conic with the Colaborsting Confic She aitiating Conflict Resofution = Responding o Conte Reoaion Metiatng Conf Reokaes Tnterpersonal Dynami Putng 1A Together “onIMrpenoml Danis Ae: Basis Haman Reon an Perormane Compromiing singer imeeung on Tose part snd other ? eed High concern formeeting ‘omnes Adaped chi low concen > Forcing 7 Sesreine or —— 17 OR ———-s n-ne for meeting Civealpirent Yeu'renov on 3h others eet Mets 2nd lenin atone ae equa in prion vo de roup/ongal ‘en low The india slowis more important toe ser arto geen tion boaswe both an inva and the group/arganaCHAPTER 8 Transactional Anais, Asercvenes, and Conflict Resohusion 287 Ei Pefomene How Interpersonal Dynamics Affect Behavior, EE lhunanfelaions ‘Human Relations, and Performance EL behavior In reviewing Exhibit 8-6, you should see that people sng the past, accommo: dating-avoiding conflic styles behave the opposite of the people who use the aggressive, forcing conflict sje. Assertive people use the collaborative conflict style, and their behavior i between the other two extremes. ‘You should also understand that people using the passive, accommodating: : avoiding conflict sqyes tend to have opposite human relations than people using the aggressive, forcing confict syle. The passive person tends to shy avay from Goal of making friends and being actively involved, while the aggressive person wies to take Human Relations over and is offensive to the group. Assertive people use the collaborating style and tend to be friendly and outgoing as they work to create win~sin situations for all partes. Generally, people who are pasive don’t get their needs met; they get walked over bj the aggressive people. Agaressive people are disiked because they iolate the rights of others. Assertive people tend to have the best human relations No clear relationship exists between individual performance and the interpes sonal dynamic syle used. Many passive people work well alone, and 50 do aggres sive people. Aggressive people are sometimes more productive than passive people because they can take advantage of passive people. This happened in the opening Goal of case. When it comes to group/organicational performance, the assertive person Hunan Relations generally the most responsible for the group effort because passive people may hhave great ideas on ow to do a good group jab, But they don't say how. Aggressive people only look out for themselves. If someone offers a eiferent idea than theirs, they are not willing to collaborate for the good of all. The asertive group mnember collaboratively shares ideas but i willing to change to a better alternative to create 2 win-vin situation forall, By following the guidelines in this chapter, you can develop assertive collaborat- ing sil REVIEW Select one or more methods: (1) fill in dhe ‘missing Key terms from memory; (2) match the key terms from the end of the review wth their definitions below: and/or (8) copy the key terms in order from the key terms at the beginning of te chapter, sa method of understanding behavior in interpersonal dynamics The three_______are the parent, child, and adult. The parent includes the critical parent and sympathetic parent, while the child ego state includes the natural and adapted child. The three aa are complementary, crossed, and vherior, Complementary adulto-adult discussions are generally more productive in ‘organizations. There are four life positions, and giving positive strokes is desirable. Passive behavior isan avoidance of behavior or an accommodation of the other party's wishes without standing up for one’s rights. Aggressive behavior is the forcing of one’ wll on others without regard for their tights, Passiveaggressive isthe process of expressing thoughts and feelings while asking for what one wants jn an ‘behavior isthe use of both pes of behavior,288 PART M1 Other Skills Influencing Behavior, Human Relations, and Performance appropriate way. Generally assertive Behavior is most productive; however there are situations n which pase and aggressive behavior fs sppropriat. ‘The steps in being assertive are: ep 1, set an objective step 2, determine how : ass sep 4, 7 to create a “nipsituation? Step 3, develop an assert implement yogt plan persistently. ie aan whenever nwo or more paitiegre jn dipsgreemént, Contict management skills are important to interpersonal relations. + There are exo methods ofclassijing tppes of conflict: (1) constructive and _destniictive, and (2) by the people involved—confict within the individual, ~ interpersonal conflict, conflict between an individual and a group, intragroup d conflict between organiza 3s. These sources of conflict inckude-—— personal differences, information, different objectives, and environmental factors, ‘The conflict management syles are: Th attempts to resolve the conflict by using aggressive behavior. The User attempts to passively ignore the conflict rather than resolve it, The user attempis to resolve the conflict by passively giving in to the other party. The User attempts 10 resolve the conflict through assertive give-andc-take concessions The ‘ser assertively attempis to jointly resolve the conflict with the best solution agreeable to all parties. Each sole has its advantages and disadvantages, and each is appropriate in certain situations, The are: step 1, plan to maintain ownership of the problem using the XYZ model; sep 2, implement your plan persistently, step ‘make an agreement for change. The _ describes a problem in terms of bchavior, consequences, and feelings. The ee are: step 1, listen to and paraphrase the problem using the XYZ model; step 2, agree with some aspect of the complaint; step 8, ask for, and/or give, alternative solutions; step 4, make an agreement for change. The are: step 1, have each party state his or her complaint using the XYZ model; step 2, agree on the problem(s); step 3, develop alternative solutions; step 4, make an agreement for change and follow up. Interpersonal dynamics are the behavior used during our human relations. People who are passive and aggressive use opposite behavior, while asertve people behave between these two extremes, Generally, he people who use assertive below. ‘or, from the adult ego state, have @ high concern for meeting theit own needs and the needs of others. They tend to usc the collaborate conflict style and use the most appropriate behavior, which contributes to creating a win-win situation, Exhibit 8-6, Interpersonal Dynamics Styles, summarizes TA, assertiveness, and conflict management; rewurn to it as a review.cuarrer s ‘Transactional Analy, Assertiveness, and Confit Resolution KEY TERMS accommodating conflict confice 276 7 syle 280, egostates 267 + assertiveness 271 forcing confic syle 279 ‘avoiding conflict le 279 inidating confit resoluion collaborating conflict steps 288 sole 281 ‘mediating conflict ‘compromising confit resolution steps 285 syle 281 289 responding to conflict, resolution steps 294 transactional analysis 267 \ypes of wansactions 968, XYZ model. 283PART 11 Other Skil Influencing Behavior, Human Relations, and Performance Andrea Cunningham started her own public relations (PR) firm in Santa Clara, Cl fornia, Andrea believed that any PR firm could package and disseminate informa tion. Her mission gave Cunningham a competitive advantage (heeping clione apprised of hos they were perceived by the marke, To lve the mission, Cunminghams Keeps tabs on the financial community, the press, consultants, customers, andi oen employees within the firm. High-quality employees are critical to PR success become the client must have extreme confidence in the PR people in charge of their ascoure because they oftentimes have 1o give the cent bad news based on the data they gail, cr Glent turnover is high at most PR agencies, and employee jobhopping Ie aio commion as PR representatives search for higher pay and new challenges Canningbam acquired some of Silicon Valley's best clients including Borland International and Aldus Corporation software makers and HewletePackard ang Motorola. Andrea's Cunningham Communication revenues grew to over $3 vai annually ith 24 emplovees. Howeres, Andres made a common eitsepreneee inl error. She tried to make all the decisions herself without delegating athorieg Ae 4 result, managers were constantly fighting, morale was very low, turnover of too liens and employees was very high, and Andrea faced the threat of losing money for the firs time since she started the busines. Faced with problems, Andrea knew changes were needed, Her frst attempt was to asign clients to individual teams and co give bonuses based on profistiiy Unfortunately internal competition became fierce. Turf wars developed, employees refused to share information, and there was ne cooperation between teams Antes, realized that teams were a good idea, but the team system needed to be changed “Andrea came to the realization that she had to delegate authority if she was s0ing to have a turnaround. Andrea decided to develop a goal-driven system withng Cooperative management program called input teams. Andrea set annual objec tives for each team thar developed the necessary plans and budgets to achiew the chiectives. Every employee was a member of atleast one team that meet for fre hours per weck. Andrea also realized that her human resource practices had to sup. ort the Cunningham mission and new management system. Working with her Jnuman resource manager and others they developed the following program, To anvact and retain employees, called associates, they developed a eareer path Patem.A career path isa sequence of job assignments that leads to more sesponsh, bily with raises and promotions, The career path system was designed to develop associates toa level of competence that inspired the confidence of clients New ane, {lates were oriented to the organizational eulture, which is called the Cunningham Culture. They are taught about the input teams and develop team skis, the vetoce fepertments and develop timesmanagement sill, New astociatesatend Cunning, ham Cormuniacons Inc. University fora formal three-day taining session, [The compensation stem was also changed, All asociates receive a set pay forthe Year and a bonus based on meeting objectives. Each associate determines hs or eg Fesponsibiltes, objectives, and pay: Andrea says that associates rarely request com, pensation that they are not worth, Frequent advisory sessions pve asociatesfeediock from their bosses on how well they are meeting expectations. On occasion when ao, ciates fall short of their objectives, compensation has been withheld withour conn Plain. To increase compensation, associates have to generate more reverius Some of Andrea's productive senior employees complained about the new sy tem. They did not want to be included witha team. However, Andrea stayed firm ie keeping the system, even when senior people started to quit. Within sit’ morale ot implementing the above changes, all but three members of the senior staf volun tar terminaced employment at Cunningham. Andrea was sad to sce them go, but felt they were not right for the new management gsiem. On the posite se, the company becaine profitable and continues to grow; the number of assoviaiee wong fiom 24 to 59 under the new system,292 PART II Other Sills Influencing Behavior, Human Relations, and Performance Bill and Saul’s Conflict The following conversation takes place over the telephone between Bil, the sales person, and Saul, the production manager. (Nole This conversation can be role. layed in class.) Brzz Listen, Saul, I just got an order for 1,000 units and promised delivery in two days, You'll get them out on time, won’t you? Sava: Bll, you know the normal delivery time is five days. Bra: I know, but had to say two days to get the order, s0 fill it. ‘Savi: We don't have the capability to do it. You should have checked with me before taking the order. The best I can do is four days, Bua: What are you—my mother, or the production manager? Swux: I cannot have 1,000 units ready in two days. We have other orders that need to be filled before yours. Four days is the best I can do on short notice, Bui: Come on, Saul, you cannot do this to me, I want to keep —mean-alotof business- — — — — ‘Suet: I know, Bill; you've told me this on three other orders you had. Bu: But this isa big one. Don’t you care about sales? Saut: Yes, I do, but I cannot produce the product as fast as you sales reps are selling itlately Bus: IfT don’t meet my sales quota, are you going to take the blame? Suc1: Bill, we are going in circles here, I'm sorry, but I cannot fill your request. The order will be ready in five days Bn: I was hoping you would be reasonable. But you've forced me to go to Mr. Cart son, You know he'll be telling you to fill my order, Why don't you just do it and save time and aggravation? account. It Savu: I'l wait to hear from Mr. Carlson. In the meantime, have a good das; Bill. Answer the following questions. Then in the space between the questions, state why you selected that answer. ——— 1. Bill was transacting from the ___ ego state 4. critical parent e adult & adapted child 4 sympathetic parent —d, natural child 2, Saul was transacting from the ___ego state. «. critical parent 6 adult @ adapted child 4, sympathetic parent d. natural child 3.‘The telephone discussion was a(n) __twansaction. 1. complementary 4 crossed 6 ulterior 4. Bill's life position seems to be: 4 T'mOK—You're not OK, I'm not OK—You're not OK. 6. I'm OK—You're OK 4 T'm not OK—Vou're OK 5. Bill's behavior was: a. passive } aggressive, assertive10. Sanlused the___ conflict syle, “Transacal Analis,Asservenen, and Confit Resolution 293 6. Saul’s behavior wast ‘ @. passive 1b aggressive asertive —— 7. Bill and Saul have an __ conflict: «. individual ¢ individual/group 4. interpersonal. intragroup 8. Their source of conflicts 4, personal differences « objectives 3. information 4. environment 9, Bill used dhe ___conflie sle @. forcing ¢ accommodating &. collaborating & avoiding 4. compromising a. forcing & accommodating collaborating 2b avoiding 4. compromising 11, What wouid you have done if you were Bill? 12, Assume you are Mr. Carlson, the boss. What would you de-if Bill called? Ee294 PEEL Fiscal Fairy Tale # 1: Jak and the Bean Counter Online MG Webzine Exercise 8 In-Class MG Webzine Exercise 8 PART 111 Other Sis Influencing Behavior, Human Relations, and Performance Following the steps to.getting 1g-eail a Fiscal Fairy Tale in MG. in Chapter 1 page?” ” 34, go to the MG website And'¥ead Fiscal Fairy Tale® 1: Jak andthe Bean Counter (your instructor may.ask you to print a copy and bring it to clasij: Ansfrer these questions (your instructor may ask you to type them and bring them to class) hed Rang he Tee Oy 1. As stated at the end of the tae, in 50 words or s0, what is your response to this tale?'You may send it to MG. count. 8, Do you understand what is going on In the executive suite, or is it mysterious and unknown to you? Explain, 4. Who really owns the firm you worked for? ‘Questions Relating the Tale to the Chapter Concepts 5. When the Giant asked questions of Jak, in what ego state was the Giant? 6. Was Jak’s behavior with the Giant and taking the envelope passive, aggressive, or assertive? i ‘7. When Jak was in the Giant's office talking, was there a conflict? ‘The instructor selects one of the six options from Appendix B page 589,CHAPTER 8 Transitional Anahi, Aserveness and Conflict Resolation - 295 Assertiveness (IE 8-1) Online Internet Exercise 8-1 Gelf-Assessment) In-Class Internet Exercise 8-1, 1E 8-2, and IE 8-3 Confict (TE 8-2) Online Internet Exercise 8-2 Select a Concept MG Search (IE 8-3) Online Internet Exercise 8-3 ‘The objective of this Internet exercise is to assess your use of aisertiveness as low to high. Use the information from Appendix B and IE 1-2 and 1-3 ax you do the following: aes }. Go to the Body Mind QueenDom website homepage—uua gueendom. com 2, Glick “Tests” and! scroll down to the Career/Jobs tests section and Click “Assertiveness” and take the test by clicking your selections then click score te Betyour score and interpretation (your instructor may atk ou to make a copy of ito bring todas), ‘8. Questions: (1) What was your score? (2) Do you have a low, moderate, or high assertiveness? (8) What can you do to improve your assertiveness? (You ——tormay ask you.1o.ypeand print your answer ant bring them olaw ‘The inscructor selects one ofthe six options from Appendix B page 589. The objective ofthis exercise i to lear more about conflict by using a supersite. A supersite isa website with links to other websites, Essentially, you go to one site that Uinks/directs you to another website. Thus for this exerese, you will actualy vat {wo websites Use the information in Appendix B and IE 1-2 and 1-3 as you do ihe following: 1, Go to the Work911 website homepage—wuna.wwrR9T1.com 2 Scroll down to find alist of articles under the heading “Community and Com Act Related” and Click “ew” forthe one you want 10 re24. You will be taken ty another website where you read the artide (jour instructor may require you to make a copy of it), 3. Questions: (1) What is the name of the website you went to? (2) Who is the author and whatis the title ofthe article you read. (8) What i the Basic message of the article you read? (4) How can you use this information to help reso conflicts in your personal and professional life? (Your instructor may roqire {you to type and print your answers) ‘The objective ofthis exercise isto learn more about a concept of your choice. Use the information ia Appendix Band IE 1-2 and 1-8 as you de the following 1. Go to the MG homepage—anewmgceral. com 2 Click “Search (Site Map).” 3 Glick the Concept” bution circle to.use the concept search mode thea spe in concept from this or another chapter that you want to learn more abou” ‘+ Gick the resouree you want to learn more about (your instructor may require you to printit), 5. Questions: (1) Who isthe author and what is the te and year ofthe resource? (2) What are the primary concept ideas? (8) How can you use these ideas in Your personal and professional fe? (Your instructor may require you to pe and print your answers) -Below are 10 situations, For each situation: e Select the best alicrnative to achieve effective ct Identify the sender's communication ego state a CP Critical Parent SP Sympathetic Parent NC Natural Child AC Adapted Child AAdult * Blce the leters CR SP, NC, AC, of A on the S___to the left ofeach numbered situation, Identify each of the five alternative receiver's ego states as in instruction 1 above. Place the letters CP, SP, NC, AC, or Aon the R ons. Citsle the lever a,-b-¢,-d-or ¢—— 1. Ted delegates a task, saying, “I's not much fun, but someone has to do Will you please do it for me?” Sue, the delegate, says: @. “A good boss wouldn't make me do it” mera 4. ‘Tm always willing o help you out, Ted.” ; aie 6 “Tm not cleaning that up." Re 4. “You're not being serious, are you?" eee fe °TM get right om it* R @. “Isnot my fault. I didn’t clean it personally.” Rees 2. “I'm sorry this happened. We'll doit again right now” RL © “Tan understand your disappointment. Were you planning on wear ‘ng it today? What can I do to make this up to you?” RK @ “These are sins caused by your carelessness, not urs” R__ & “Gee whiz, this isthe first time this has happened.” R — §: In an office, Bill drops a way of papers on the floor. Mary, the manager, comes over and says, “This happens once in awhile to all of us, Let one help you pick them up.” Bill responds: 4 "Guess I sipped, ha ha ha." Rad 4 “This wouldn't have happened if people didn't stack the papers so high” Ro 6 “Tes mot my fat 'm not picking up the papers” Reon 4. “Thavks for helping me pick them up, Mary.” R__ € “Test not take Fong wo pick thems up.” RaeCHAPTER 8 Transactional Anajuis, Averdvenes, and Conflict Raoluton : 297 sa Kail and Kelly were taking about the merit raise given in their branch of Re bank. Karl says “I heard you did not get a merit raise” Rely responds 4. “Is tue; how much did you gee*™ Rees & “Treally don't need a raise anyway." Rises © “The branch managers unfair” RK 4 “The branch manager didn’t give me a raise because he is prejur diced. The men got bigger raises than the women,” mie 4 “Its nice ofyou o show your concern, Is there anything Tan do wo help you out” fae Beckie, the store manages, says to an employee: “Ed, there fs no guns on the connter; please restock it" Ed responds @. “Why do T always get stuck doing it" 4. ‘Td be glad 0 do it. | know how importantit isto keep the shelves ~~ Bocked for our customers” Hee Resa © “TIL do itjust as soon a8 I finish this rom." Re @. “TN do itifT can have a free pack” Rice « “Why don’t we buy bigger boxes 50 don’t have to do itso often?” R Carol, the manager, asked Tim, an employee, to file some forms. Awhile {ster Carol returned and asked Tim why he hadn't filed the formas Ting said: Oh, oht I forgot about i.” Carel responds ‘@ ‘Te told you before; write things down so you don’t forget 1o do them." Ra 4 RSOK Tnowyou'ze busy and will doitwhen you can” R__ 6. "Please do it now." . ee 4, “What's wrong with you?” mane & “You daydreaming or what” R__ oan Just finished making a budget presentaion to the controller, Wayne. He says: “This budget is padded.” Joan responds: @. Tm sorry you feel hat way, What isa fair budget amoung" R___ 4% (loughing) “I don’t pad any more than the others." Rae & “You don’t know what you're talking ubout. I's not padded.” R__ 4. “What items do you believe are padded?” esse © ion can’t expect me to run my department without some padding for emergencies, can you?” — Hoh computer sepair technician, says tothe customer: What did youdo to this computer to make it malfunction like this?" The eunonee responds: 4. *Can you fix it?” R 4 “Ttake good care ofthis machine. You betier Bx itfast”™ & “Tm sorry to upset you, Are you having a rough day? R.298 @ rc1ss sian Transactonal spe . om Procedure — “Ifyou wanted itdone by 11, why didn't you say so?" R PART m1 Other Skis ltueneing Behavior, Human Rlaions and Performance 4 “T'm going to tell your boss what you just R. & “Tthrew it down the stairs, ha ha.” R S—® Pete is waiting for his friend, Wil whom he hasn't seen for some time. Mhen Will arives, Pete says, “I's good to sce you," and gives Wilts hug, spinning him around. Will responds ‘@ "Don't hug me on the street; people can see us” Ra 4 ‘Tm not late; you got here early." ieee © Sor Ym late. ts there anything I can do to make it up to you? Just mame it” RL 4 “Let's go party, party, paryy.” Ree & “Sorry I'm late; I got held up in trafic.” R S10. Sal gives her secretary, Mike, a note saying: “Pleate, ‘ype this when you Set a chance." About an hour later, Sally returns frocr a meeting and asks: “Mike isthe lewer I gave you done yet?* Mike responder em 4 "Tm working on it now. Ie willbe done in about 10 minutes.” R « (Mow sald to do itwhen I gore chance. Te been too busy doing more ‘important things.” R 4. “Sure thing, boss lady, 'll get right on it” R ‘Vm sorry, I didn’t realize how important it was. Can 1 type icright R ow and get it to you in about 15 minutes?" don wad ReSANS competences of resources, interpersonal sil, and informe: | bough ie ceematons of baie Ghinking, and pessoal quae ane aera | Select one option. 2. The instructor goes over the recommended answers to the 10 situations. 2, The instructor asks students for their answers to the situations, followed by giv. ing the recommended answers, 5 Break into groups of two or three and together follow the threestep approach : Z i i g a i g 7 a & z response in the situation. “Would mance? How? Conclusion: The instructor leads @ class discussion and/or makes concluding Afplication: What have I learned from & experience? How will T use this knowl ‘edge in the future? ‘Storing Volunteers give their answers tothe application section,‘ h f CHAPTER s ‘Transactional Anais, Aseriveness, and Confit Resoluion 299 2 is exercise are 10 situations with 8 alternative stalements or actions Kdemtfy {cach as assertive (A), aggressive (G), or passive (P). Place the letier A. G,or P on {he line before each of the five alternatives. Circle the lewer (ae) ofthe responce ‘that is the most appropriate in the situation, 1, In lass, you are in small groups discussing this exercise; however, two of the ‘members are talking about personal matters instead. You are interested inthis exercise. <4 “Don't you want to learn anything in this elase>" =}. Forget the exercise, join the conversation. 6 “Thisis a valuable exercise. realy appreciate your input” 4 “This exercise i boring, isn't io* ——— & “Stop discussing personal matters, or Jeave the class!" — - — —— 2. You and your roommate do not smoke. Smoke really bothers you, However, your roommate has friends over who smoke in your room regulary. ——@ Throw them out of your room. > Porposely cough repeatedly saying, “I cannot breathe." 6 Ask your roommate to have his guests refrain from smoking, or meet ata different place. ——4. Complain to your favorite professor, ——+ Do and say nothing. 3. Your boss has repeatedly asked you to go get coffee for the members of the department. Itis not part of your job responsibility, —— © ‘Wis not part of my job. Why don't we set up rotating schedule 30 ‘that everyone has a turn?” 7 4 “Go getit yourself” ——« Continue to get the coffee. 4 File a complain: with personnel/union, 6 “Why don't we ship coffee today?” 4. You are riding in a car with a friend. You are nervous because your fiiend is speeding, changing lanes frequently, and passing in no-passing rones —— 4 “Are you trying to ill me?* >} ‘What did you think of Professor Lusier's elas today" — ¢ Please slow down and stay in one lane.” ——4 Trynot to look where you are going. 6 “Stop driving like this or let me out right here.” 5, You are in a department meeting that is deciding on the new budget. However, some of the members are going off on tangents and wastig time, Your bose hasn't said anything about it 4 Don’t say anything, After all's your boss's meeting, — b. “So far we agree on XYZ, and we still need to decide on ABC. Does anyone have any ideas on these line items?”300 PART 11 Other Sills Infuencing Behavior, Human Relations and Performance 6 “Let's stop wasting time and stay on the subject.” 4 “Let's just vote so we can get out of here.” « “Excuse me, I have to ga to the bathroom." 6. One of your coworkers 1 Kinds of excuses. Fie work, have no intention of doing your work, so pledse stoking me to do ic” : € “Buz off. Do it yourself, freeloader.” 4 ‘Pale w'do it for you, but I'm tied upright now.” 2.8 “Get away from me and don’t bother me again.” 7 You bought a watch, It doesn't work so you return to the store with the receipt. + The salesclerk says you cannot exchange it. extetlly tries to get you to do his or her work with al {@. Insist on the exchange. Talk to the person's boss and hi — necessary = ye her —— >. Leave with the watch, © Drop the watch on the counter and pick up a new watch and walk out, — 4 Come back when a different salesclerk is there. + Create a scene, yell and gev other customers on your side. Disrupt business until you get the new watch. 5. You are about to leave work and go to sce your child/friend perform in a play. ‘Your boss comes to you and asks you to stay late to do a report she needs in the morning, a Sorry, I’m on my way to see a play.” —— > Td be happy to stay and doit” —— 6 “Areyou sure cannot do it tomorrow?” — 4 ‘Tm on my way to see a play. Can I take it home and do it later tonight" & “Why should I get stuck here? Why don't you do it yourself" 9. You believe that cheating is wrong, Your roommate just asked you if he or she could copy the homework you spent hours preparing. a. Here you go.” ——4. “Tdon'thelp cheaters” —— 6 °K, ifyou don’t copy it word for word.” 4 Tllke 10 help you. You're my friend, but in good cor not let you copy my homework.” ce Team —— © “You go out and have a good time, then you expect me to be a fool and get you off the hook? No way.” 10. Some people you know stop by your dorm room, One of them pulls out some drugs, takes some, and passes it along. You don't take drugs. 4. “Tdon’t approve of taking drugs. You can get me into trouble, Please put them away or leave.” ——2 Grab them and get rd of them, 6 Take some drugs because you don’t want to look bad. 4 Pass them along without taking any. “Are you trying to kill yourselves? Get out of hereEXE © Preparation Tnilating Contes Resolution Objective: To improve your ability to be assertive, ‘SCANS: The SCANS competencies of resources, and interpersonal sills, and infor ‘mation and the foundations of basic thinking, and personal qualities are developed through this exercise. Prparation: You should have completed the preparation (10 situations) for this Select ore option. : “ 1. The instructor goes over the recommended answers to the 10 situations. 2, The insructor asks students for their answers tothe situations followed by gi ing the recommended answers. 3. Break into groups of two or three and together follow the three step approach for 2-3 situations at atime, followed by the instructor going over the recom mended answers. Discuss the possible consequences of each alternative response in.the situation. Would it help-or-hurt human-relations and-perfor——>—~ mance? How? Conclusion: The instructor leads a class discussion and/or makes concluding remarks, Application: What have I learned from this experience? How will Luse this knowl ‘edge in the future? Sharing: Volunteers give their answers to the application section. SEER aS During class you will be given the opportunity to roleplay a, conflict you face, oF have faced, in order to develop your conflict skills. Fill in the information below ‘and also record your answers on a separate sheet of paper. ‘Other party(ies) (You may use fictitious names) Define the sirvation: 1, List pertinent information about the other pary (eg, relationship with you, knowledge ofthe ssation, age, background). 2 State what you wish to accomplish (objective) as @ result of the confit con- frontation/dscusson. : 3. Identify the other party's possible reaction o your confrontation (resistance to change: intensity, source, focus). How will you vercome this resistance to change? Using the three steps in initiating conflict resolution, write out your plan to ate the conflict resolution. Write your plan on a separate sheet of paper and bring ito dass,COMUNICACION AFIRMATIVAa \ VWI Rta VY VY YVvvvvey Cie. kl EL RESPETO AL DERECHO AJENO ES LA PAZ Benito JuarezContenido Tema Pag. Evaludndote ati mismo ...., Cuestionario para determinar cun afirmativos somos... MW Definiciones 60... ee es Caracteristicas de la persona afirmnativa .... feet Derechos inalienables de toda persona ...... Boneee erate Hee 16 La comunicacién pasiva ..... La-comunicaciGn-agresiva~, La comunicacién pasiva-agresiva . Caracteristicas de la comunicacién afirmativa .... Diferencias entre la comunicacién afirmativa y agresiva .. Ejercicio de clasificacién de estilos de comunicacién ... Circulo positivo de la conducta afirmativa . Problemas de afirmacién . . Obstéculos para ser afirmatives...... . El proceso de la comunicacién Una filosoffa afirmativa Estrategias para trabajar con nuestros pensamientos .. . Consideraciones al hablar afirmativamente ......... : 44 Comenzando a poner en practica lo que aprendes Soren cee SE Proceso de andlisis 0.0.0.0... a ee + 56 ‘Técnicas de comunicacién afirmativa ..... Ejercicio: El dilema Ejercicio para aprender a decir No ..............,., Alternativas durante un conflicto . ; ApéndicesEjercicios . Hoja de practicaCOMUNICACION AFIRMATIVA. Descripcién: ste adiestramiento est disefiado para ayudar a todos los empleados de la compafiia a conocer cémo nuestro proceso de socializacién afecta la forma como nos comunicamos ¥ aprender técnicas para comunicarnos mis efectivamente'con los demas. Objetivos: A. Generales; 1 Deinir cuatro estilos de comunicacién 2. Analizar los patrones de socializaci6n y la adquisicién de comunicacién no afirmativa a» 3.. Conocer y aplicar técnicas de comunicacién afirmativa B. Especificos: 11 Definir que entendemos por conducta pasiva 1.2 Definir conducta agresiva 1.3 Conocer que entendemos por conducta pasiva-agresiva 1.4 Definir conducta afirmativa : 2.1 Conocer cuales son los obstaculos para ser afirmativo con los demas 3.1 Conocer las caracteristicas de la comunicacién afirmativa - 3.2 Conocer los componentes de la conducta afirmativa3.3. Evaluar cémo el proceso de comunicacién puede contribuir al mal ( entendimiento 3.4 Aprender diez técnicas de‘comunicacion afirmativa 3.5 Aprender como lidiayen diferentes situaciones 3.6 Conocer cuales'son nuestras alternativas mientras estamos en un conflicto Duraci6n: ziComunicacién afirmativa a Pagina 7 © REFERENCIAS Alberti, Robert y Emmons, Michael (1980). Your perfect right.California: Impact Publishers. Lloyd, Sam (1995). Developing positive assertiveness. California: Crisp Publications. CareerTrack Publications (a video seminar). Smith, Manuel (1977), Cuando digo no, me siento culpable. Barcelona: Ediciones Grijalbo, S.A. wy Desarrollo Gerencial y Unlizacion de Recursos HlumanosComunicacién afirmativa ( Pagina 8 : © Evaludndote a ti mismo Si has tenido un mal dia, écudl de las siguientes respuestas te caracterizaria? Indica con la letra r la respuesta que normalmente das y g la que te gustaria dar. icina. Observas que el teléfono-esté-sonando-Tus-——————— dos empleados estén conversando y no lo contestan, Parece como si no lo escucharan pero tu ests seguro(a) de que si. 2Qué dirias? iHay que coger el teléfono! > 2 Tengo que estar contestando el teléfono yo porque nadie se digna cogerlo! { iEse teléfono no pica! Maria, contesta el teléfono, por favor. ¢Hay alguna otra manera en que habrias reaccionado en esta situacién? Desartolio Getencial y Utilizacion de Recursos HumanosComunicacién afirmativa Pégina 9 © Segunda situacién: Hiciste una presentacién en la que estuvo presente tu jefe y tus compaieros de trabajo. Le dedicaste tiempo Para hacer este trabajo. Cuando terminaste, tu jefe te hizo el siguiente comentario: dEsperas que crea que trabajaste duro en eso? Estas loco Si esperas que acepte lo que presentaste, {Qué dirfas? pero es que no t ‘uve mucho tiempo para preparanne, Déme la Sportunidad de trabajar nuevamente con esto para volver a presentarselo —— (Molesto) Es que usted me tuvo haciendo otros trabajos y no me dio el tiempo necesario, + Te quedas callado(a) en la reunion. Mas adelante, te desquitas déndole informacién errénea en otio asunto “+ Realmente trabajé duro en esto, dEn qué parte no esta de acuerdo con lo Presentado? éDe qué otra manera habrias reaccionado en esta situacion? Desattollo Gerencial y Uulizacien de Recursos HumanorComunicacién afirmativa » Pagina 10 © Tercera situacién: Preparas una informacién para hacer un anuncio y lo entregas al Departameinto de Are. Mas tarde, tu jefe te dice que un empleado de ese departamento se quejé de que Ui le diste el trabajo tarde y la informacion incompleta. Ti entiendes que la informacion la diste completa y a tiempo. {Qué dirias? —— At jefe: Lo siento, Le di toda la informacion que tenia disponible. — Alempleado del Departamento de Arce en un tono de coraje: La préxima-vez—————— que tengas una queja de mi, me lo dices. No te dila informacién tarde y te di ‘a informacion necesaria. Si fueras un buen artista podrfas haber hecho el trabajo. —— Atujefe: Ya sabes la clase de gente que tiene el Departamento de Arte (en > ‘ono sarcéstico). Creo que si los juntamos a todos, no sacamos ni uno bueno ( —— Alempleado del Departamento de Arte: Mi jefe me dijo que estas molesto por "a informacion que te di y la fecha en que te entregué el trabajo. {Podrias ecirme cuales la informacién que falta para que la préxima vez esto no cutta? Al final de la conversacién: Si tienes algiin problema conmigo en el futuro, ‘podrias decirmelo directamente? Te lo agradecert éDe qué otra manera habrias reaccionado en esta situacién? Desarrollo Gerencial y Utilization de Recursos HumanosComunicacion afirmativa Pagina 11 Cuestionario para determinar cudn afirmativos somo’ Lee cada una de las quince afirmaciones quit se presentan a continuacién y escoge el ntimero de la escala que corresponde con tu manera de sentir 0 actuar, Escala: : SIEMPRE “NUNCA — 5 4 3 2 1 Le pido a los demas que hagan cosas sin sentirme culpable o ansioso(a). Cuando alguien me pide que haga algo que no quiero hacer digo "no" sin sentirme culpable 0 ansioso(a).. Me siento cémodo(a) cuando le hablo a un grupo grande de personas Siento confianza de expresar mis verdaderas opiniones a figuras de autoridad, como por ejemplo, mi jefe. —— Cuando experimento sentimientos fuertes, como coraje, frustracién, decepeién, ete. puedo verbalizarfo con facilidad, Cuando expreso coraje lo hago sin culpar a otros de *haberme puesto molesto’. Me siento cémodo(a) de hablar en grupo. : St estoy en desacuerdo con una opinion de la mayoria en una reunién puedo mantener mi opinién sin sentirme incémodo(a). Cuando cometo un error lo reconozco. Le digo alos demas cuéndo su conducta crea un problema para mi. Conocer nuevas personas en situaciones sociales es algo que hago con facilidad ¥ comodidad. — Cuando expongo mis creencias lo hago sin ponerle etiquetas a las opiniones de los demés como por ejemplo “estiipidas", "locas", “ridiculas" 0 “irracionales”. —— Asumo que la mayoria de la gente es competente, valiosa y no tengo dificultad delegando en otros, —— Cuando considero hacer algo que nunca he hecho, me siento confiado(a) de que puedo aprenderlo, | Ht dU LI Desarrollo Gerencial y Unilizacion de Recursos Humanos— — —Puedes x Comunicacién afirmativa Pégina 12 © : Creo que mis necesidades son tan importantes que las de los demas y tengo el derecho de que sean satisfechas, Suma el total de puntos y colécalos aqui Clave Si obtuviste 60 puntos o 1 més, mangjas_las-situaciones- de manera afi irmativa. | Dir algunas ideas de este curso para mejorar aun mds tne destrezas y tu efectividad. Si tu total esta entre 45 a 59 eres bastante afirmativo(a). Este curso puede ayudarte a aumentar tu afirmatividad a través de la Practica, Si tu total esta entre 30 y 44 parece ser que acttias afirmativamente en algunas Sone rons Pero en otras actiias pasiva o agresivamente. Utilicande las sugerencias de eute Curso podrds cambiar algunas de tus percepciones Y practicar nuevas conductas que te permitan actuar con mayor afirmacion, TecPmendaciones del curso y practicas, podrés sentie mas ¢émodo(a) en situaciones en las que afirmarte sea importante. Desarrollo Gereneial y Utilization de Recarios FlamanorComunicacién afirmativa Pagina 13, © e DEFINICIONES Definiciones de afirmatividad: { La persona afirmativa es directa. Cuando se confronta con un problema, toma i sta interactuar con la gente, pero no siente Puedan pensar de él o ella. Es decidido(a) y { asume la responsabilidad por sus decisiones. No toma las decisiones que le Otras definiciones: Defender tus derechos sin violentar los derechos de los demés. Es afirmarte como persona, lo que piensas, eres, crees y quieres, 1a comunicaci6n afirmativa le permite a la persona: 1. Actuar en beneficio de sus propios intereses: se refiere ala habilidad de tomar decisiones, como por ejemplo, en los estudios, estilo de Vida, itinerarios @ de tiempo, relaciones con otros, i Lo 2. Defenderse sin sentir demasiada ansiedad: incluye decir no, establecer *% Iimites en el uso de la energia y el tiempo, responder a criticas, expresar, apoyar © defender una opinién. 3. Expresar comodamente sus verdaderos sentimientos: habilidad para Expresar desacuerdos, coraje, afecto o amistad, admitir miedo o ansiedad, ser esponténeo, ‘ 4. Ejercer sus derechos sin negar los derechos de los demas: lograr lo explicado anteriormente sin intimidar, manipular 0 controlando a les demés, Ta conducta afirmativa es una auto afirmacién positiva que también valora a los demés. Contribuye tanto a tu satisfaccién personal como a la calidad de tus relaciones con Jos demas. Es el comportamiento requerido para la negociacion estilo ae el eanat: 1a solucion satisfactoria de conflictos en la vida familiar y las relaciones en el trabajo. Desarrollo Gerendial y Utilization de Recursos HumanosComunicacién afirmativa Pagina 14 B Desarrollo Gerencial y Uilizaclon de Recaisee Humanos