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Summary Analysis
Redwood Primary School, Room 10 is a year 3 / 4 classroom, with 26
children, 15 girls and 11 boys between the ages of 8 and 10 years
old. Most students are of Anglo-Celtic descent, but three students
children have English as an additional language (EAL). The students
are mostly achieving as expected, though 4 are identified as
needing extension, and 6 (including EAL students) may require
assistance with literacy in the classroom.
Some of the strengths shown by a majority of the students include
their use of punctuation, their spelling and their vocabulary. The
students demonstrated through writing samples, their
understanding of these elements of constructing writing. For
example Appendix 1 (Writing Sample 1) demonstrated the use of full
stops and capital letters to begin new sentences, which highlighted
their understanding of the use of punctuation. The ability of most
students to spell words correctly, and to demonstrate their phonic
awareness is shown through the few mistakes made during their
writing. For example Appendix 3 (Writing Sample 3) has no mistakes
in spelling during their exposition letter. The vocabulary
demonstrated by most students was quite strong. For example in
Appendix 2 (Writing Sample 2) the student used some very
descriptive terms, as well as language specific to their topic of
penguins during their information report.
Despite these many strengths the students writing samples did
demonstrate some areas that required further improvement in text
construction. The main focuses for development included
organisation and paragraph structure, including the use of a topic
sentence and other structural features of writing such as sentence
structure. Students should also focus on their use of connectives
and pronouns in their writing, and this was shown to be inconsistent
across the samples. The need to increase use of paragraphs and
overall organisation of the students writing is shown in Appendix 5
(Writing Sample 5), though the student has structured their recount
in chronological order, the have not used paragraphs, and the text is
not organised by significant events. Rather it is a series of small
events, each (mostly) joined by a then. Appendix 7 (Writing
Sample 7) demonstrates a clear need for development of sentence
structure for some EAL/D students. Many of the sentences used do
not make sense, or are not written in correct curriculum English.
Though the meaning is still clear in this text, overall improvement of
sentence structure would be of great benefit. Appendix 6 (Writing
EML309 Jaydene BarnesIsabel Horton 11477162A
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Lesson 1
Focus: What is Persuasive
Writing?
Syllabus Outcomes For This
Lesson:
EN2-2A: Plans, composes and
reviews a range of texts that are
more demanding in terms of
topic, audience and language.
EN2-9B: Uses effective and
accurate sentence structure,
grammatical features,
punctuation conventions and
vocabulary relevant to the type of
text when responding to and
composing texts.
Learning Outcomes For Time
This Lesson:
Students are able to
5
effectively
mins
sequence simple
ideas into a plan,
which could be used
5
to write part of a
mins
discussion.
Students
understand the
value of using
10
evidence in
mins
persuasive writing.
Students use
accurate sentence
structure to convey
their opinion.
10
mins
Rationale:
Introduce students to persuasive writing and
explain what it is. Students gain
understanding about opinions and using
evidence to support ideas in persuasive
writing.
55
Minutes
Resources:
Interactive White Board (IWB)
White Board
White Board Markers
Butchers Paper
Appendix 9, 12, 18
My Dads A Space Alien video
Students Work Books & Pencils/Pens
Learning Opportunities
Introduction:
Students seated as a whole group in front of IWB. Before showing students any
samples, discuss with students their understanding of the word persuasive. Gain
an idea of what students know about the meaning of persuasive writing (formative
assessment opportunity).
Explain to students (using their suggestions and ideas) that persuasive writing is a
piece of writing that enables the author to convince the reader of a certain point of
view.
Lesson body:
On IWB show students My Dads A Space Alien (Audi, 2012) video, and discuss the
importance of using evidence to support any ideas in persuasive writing. (Appendix
18 Learning Outcome 1 Assessment Opportunity) As a whole class ask students
to think of evidence supporting the idea that someone in their family is an alien.
For example, a student may say that their baby brother or sister is an alien because
the make strange noises all the time (crying). Write these ideas down, using
sentence stems from Appendix 9 (Persuasive Writing Resource 1) (Olrich, 2013),
which can be printed and posted where students can see and make use of it.
Explain to students that they are going to get ready to write their own persuasive
writing piece, using the topic What is your favourite meal to have for dinner? On
the IWB show students Appendix 12 (Persuasive Writing Resource 4) (Brantley,
2013) and provide an example of what you would write in each box. Using the
topic, an
example may
EML309 Jaydene BarnesIsabel Hortonprovided
11477162A
Assessment
Item be:
2
Opinion: My favourite meal to have for dinner is spaghetti bolognaise.
Reason 1: It is delicious; I love the flavours of tomato and herbs.
Reason 2: It is healthy.
Assessment Item 2
Lesson 2
Focus: Writing A Discussion
Syllabus Outcomes For This
Lesson:
EN2-2A: Plans, composes and
reviews a range of texts that are
more demanding in terms of
topic, audience and language.
EN2-7B: Identifies and used
language forms and features in
their own writing appropriate to a
range of purposes, audiences and
contexts.
Learning Outcomes For Time
This Lesson:
Students
understand the
5
meaning and
purpose of a written mins
discussion, and are
confident in writing
their own.
Students are able to 5
mins
effective sequence
simple ideas into a
plan, and use it to
form a written
5
discussion.
mins
Students
understand that
effective
organisation of
ideas enhances the
meaning of the text.
10
mins
Modelling /
Stage 2 Year 3/4
Deconstruction
Rationale:
Students develop further understanding of
persuasive writing and will incorporate this
knowledge into the specific text type of a
discussion.
60
W-P-W (Whole Part
Minutes Whole)
Resources:
Interactive White Board (IWB)
White Board
White Board Markers
Appendix 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18
Students Work Books & Pencils/Pens
Learning Opportunities
Introduction:
Students seated as a whole group in front of IWB. Discuss with students previous
lessons work on persuasive writing. Ask students prompting questions such as
What does opinion mean? and Why do we use evidence? Explain to students
that they will be using the ideas they wrote down in the previous lesson to create a
discussion.
Ask students for their ideas about what a discussion is, students will most likely
understand a discussion to be only a conversation between two people, explain to
students that similarly to a discussion between two people, a written discussion, as
a persuasive text, is like a conversation within itself. Explain to students that a
discussion outlines TWO sides to an argument, and that this allows the author and
the reader to come to a final conclusion of their opinion on a topic. Show students
Appendix 16 (Persuasive Writing Resource 13) (Rose, 2009) and highlight the fact
that the author has written two different opinions on the same topic. (Listen to
students answers and assess against Appendix 18 Learning Outcome 4
Assessment Opportunity)
Lesson body:
On the IWB show students Appendix 15 (Persuasive Writing Resource 10) (Cleek,
2011) and discuss with them the meaning of each section of the OREO paragraph
format. On the white board, IWB or a piece of butchers paper, write the meaning of
each section, similar to that in Appendix 13 (Persuasive Writing Resource 6)
(Sinclair, 2012).
Explain to students that they will be using this structure to create a discussion,
about their favourite dinner meal. Students should use their planning page from
lesson Assessment
(Appendix 12)
as 2a starting point, and then write a discussion about
EML309 Jaydene BarnesIsabel Hortonprevious
11477162A
Item
the pros and cons of their favourite meal.
Demonstrate on the white board to students how they could set out their discussion.
An example may be:
Assessment Item 2
Lesson 3
Joint
Stage 2
60
W-P-W
Focus: Discussing Constructi Year 3/4
Min (Whole Part
The Value Of
on
ute Whole)
Events
s
Syllabus
Rationale:
Resources:
Outcomes For
Students practice using
Interactive White
This Lesson:
evidence in persuasive
Board (IWB)
EN2-2A: Plans,
writing, and come to a
White Board
composes and
conclusion about whether White Board Markers
reviews a range of a recent event is valuable Butchers Paper
texts that are
to its relevant
Appendix 10, 11
more demanding
community.
Students Work Books
in terms of topic,
& Pencils/Pens
audience and
language.
EN2-7B: Identifies
and used language
forms and features
in their own
writing appropriate
to a range of
purposes,
audiences and
contexts.
EN2-9B: Uses
effective and
accurate sentence
structure,
grammatical
features,
punctuation
conventions and
vocabulary
relevant to the
type of text when
responding to and
composing texts.
CUS2.3: Explains
how shared
customs,
practices, symbols,
language and
traditions in
communities
contribute to
Australian and
community
identities.
Learning
Ti Learning Opportunities
Outcomes
m
Introduction:
For This
e
Students seated as a whole group in a circle.
Lesson:
Discuss with students what they know about
Student
evidence in persuasive writing. Explain to
s can
students how to play the game Why, Why,
15
write
Why? Adapted from Aughey (2012). Each
mi
and
student makes a statement, this can be about a
evaluate ns
EML309 Jaydene BarnesIsabel
Horton
Assessment
Item 2
topic chosen
by11477162A
individual students,
or a set
a
topic (e.g. the best animal) and the three
written
students to the left of the student who makes
discussi
Assessment Item 2
and that the teacher would not have to neglect their role as facilitator of
learning, in order to assess students on the go. Some assessment
opportunities have been identified throughout the lessons, though these
are not for excessively specific outcomes, and therefore would be easily
noted as achieved. Assessing student work against a chart allows teachers
to see clearly and easily which students are achieving expected outcomes
or who is not, and does not require a heavy amount of writing, therefore
taking less time, while still being a useful record of students
achievements.
The inclusion of all elements of these lesson plans would provide teachers
with the opportunities for authentic, valuable learning, teaching and
assessment opportunities. Students with English as an additional
language and students who require further development in literacy would
be supported throughout their learning experiences and resources are
multimodal and engaging for all students.
Assessment Item 2
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W Descriptive
Informati
S2 language
on
and
report.
generalisatio
ns used well
assisting in
creating a
factual text.
Paragraphs very
small, some only
one sentence
long.
Organisation
needs improving
and revisiting
paragraph
structure i.e.
TEEL would be of
benefit.
Some
connective
s used, i.e.
when, but
not overly
important
to
structure.
Vocabulary
Sentence
structure
Punctuatio
n
Spelling
High level
of
vocabulary
used
persuasive
language
effectively.
Some
sentences
could be
written
more
clearly.
Some
excellent
topic
specific
language
used.
Written in
third
person.
Sentence
structure
strong,
most
sentences
supported
those
surroundin
g them
well.
Strong,
selfcorrection
shows
considerat
ion of
punctuatio
n.
Excellent,
very few
mistakes.
Mistakes
show
phonic
awareness
.
Needs
improving.
Use of is
instead of
are when
referring
to plurals.
Mostly
used
correctly.
Excellent,
only one
mistake.
(most
likely
computer
spell check
auto
correct).
Pronoun
reference
Plural
pronouns
used
consistently
.
Pronoun
use
inconsistent
, it used
instead of
he or she.
Plural
(they) used
often,
works well
for text
type in
order to
generalise.
Assessment Item 2
W Statements
S3 needed
further
developmen
t. Opinions
were
expressed,
with backing
statements,
but
statements
were not
expanded.
W Repetition of
S4 common
phrases
i.e. then and
said.
Expositio
n letter.
Lack of any
structure/paragr
aphs.
Used
No
infrequentl pronouns
y, small
used.
size of
writing
piece
allowed for
few
opportuniti
es.
Vocabulary
quite
relevant to
text type
and
purpose,
lack of
technical
terms or
specialisati
on.
Sentences
read fine
individuall
y, but do
not
support
each well
most read
as
separate
ideas.
Narrative
No paragraphs
used to separate
parts of
narrative. Still
includes
orientation,
complication,
series of events
and conclusion.
Then
used
frequently,
little use
of varied
connective
s.
Vocabulary
quite
strong,
knowledge
about
places and
their
landmarks.
Sentence
structure
quite
good,
some
excessivel
y long
sentences
used.
W Events
S5 ordered by
time they
occurred.
Descriptive
language
used.
Participants
identified.
Recount.
No paragraphs
used, but
heading is
included. Writing
organised by
time of events.
When and
after used
to identify
when
events
occurred
and
connect
sentence
to those
previous.
Language
quite
descriptive
, specific to
events.
Some
sentences
structured
well, many
lacked
punctuatio
n
therefore
became
too long.
Pronouns
used well
sometimes
elaborating
as to who
was being
referred to
in brackets
(unnecessa
rily)
Pronouns
used well.
We and
us used
frequently.
Assessment Item 2
Little
punctuatio
n used,
full stops
at the end
of all
sentences
and
commas
when
creating a
list is
good.
Not used
consistent
ly. Used
correctly
when
included.
Excellent.
Mostly
quite good
few
mistakes.
Lack of
Needs
punctuatio improvem
n used,
ent.
some
areas that
required
punctuatio
n
highlighte
d.
W Present
S6 tense verbs
and
comparisons
used.
Factual
descripti
on.
Lacking
paragraphs and
obvious
structure,
information is
not grouped
together clearly.
No
connective
s, each
sentence
is
separate.
Pronouns
used, but
both first
and second
person
used
inconsistent
ly.
Not varied,
little
writing
allowed for
little
demonstrat
ion of
vocabulary.
W No
S7 paragraphs
used, would
have
improved
organisation
.
Journal
entry.
Some
organisation
shown, but
progression is
not very clear.
Events occur in
some order.
Some
connective
s used,
e.g. but
and
when.
Quite good
demonstrat
ed in
speaking
about
cousins and
referring to
them.
Needs
improveme
nt, many
words used
incorrectly.
E.g.
Everyday I
always
play
From: Gibbons, P. (1996). Learning to learn in a second language. Newtown, NSW: PETAA.
Assessment Item 2
All
sentences
separate
from the
others,
only one
sentence
is
compound
.
Needs
improvem
ent,
sentences
are not
written
correctly.
E.g. I
every like
Samoa.
Full stops
used well,
but
without
capital
letters to
begin the
next
sentence.
Quite
good, only
one
mistake.
Some selfcorrections
.
Quite
good, full
stops and
capital
letters
used well.
Needs
improvem
ent, many
mistakes
but
attempts
show
phonic
awareness
.
Assessment Item 2
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Assessment Item 2
Stude
nt
Name
1.
Students
are able to
effectively
sequence
simple
ideas into
a plan,
which
could be
used to
write part
of a
discussion
2.
Students
understan
d the
value of
using
evidence
in
persuasive
writing
3.
Students
use
accurate
sentenc
e
structure
to
convey
their
opinion.
4. Students
understand
the
meaning
and
purpose of
a written
discussion,
and are
confident in
writing
their own
5.
Students
are able to
effective
sequence
simple
ideas into
a plan, and
use it to
form a
written
discussion.
Studen
t1
Studen
t2
Studen
t3
Studen
t4
Studen
t5
Studen
t6
Studen
t7
EML309 Jaydene BarnesIsabel Horton 11477162A
Assessment Item 2
6. Students
understand
that
effective
organisatio
n of ideas
enhances
the
meaning of
the text.
7. Students
can write
and
evaluate a
written
discussion,
using
knowledge
about
structural
and
language
features of
the text.
8. Students
can
synthesise
research
findings into
a written
discussion,
and use this
information
to make an
informed
decision
about a
topic.
9.
Students
understan
d the
value of
local
communit
y events.
References
Audi. (2012). Audi A6 "My Dads a Space Alien". From YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JO0ZF85yUjs
Aughey, D. (2012). Practice With The Arguement: The Why Why Why
Game. From Teachers Pay Teachers:
https://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Product/Practice-with-theArgument-The-Why-Why-Why-Game-278298
Board of Studies NSW. (2012). NSW Syllabuses for The Australian
Curriculum. From English K - 10 Syllabus:
http://syllabus.bos.nsw.edu.au/english/english-k10/
Brantley, A. (2013). Common Core - Writing Opinions. From Crazy For First
Grade: http://fun-n-first.blogspot.com.au/2013/01/common-core-writingopinions-all-year.html
Cleek, T. (2011). Persuasive Writing OREO. From Our Cool School:
http://our-cool-school.blogspot.com.au/2011/10/persuasive-writingoreo.html
Department of Education and Early Childhood Development . (2008).
Teaching strategy Using the curriculum cycle with ESL learners . From
ESL Developmental Continuum P10 :
www.education.vic.gov.au/studentlearning/teachingresources/esl/
Olrich, L. (2013). Evidence In Writing Poster. From Teachers Pay Teachers:
https://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Product/Evidence-in-Writing-Poster621507
Panicked Teacher. (2012). Opinion Writing Unit: My Opinion Matters. From
Teachers Pay Teachers:
https://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Product/Opinion-Writing-Unit-MyOpinion-Matters-229475
Rose. (2009). Example of Discussion Text Type. From English Extras:
http://rosesenglishextras.blogspot.com.au/2009/12/example-of-discussiontext-type.html
Scholastic. (2013). Persuasive Sentence Starters. From Scholastic
Education: http://education.scholastic.co.uk/resources/219361
Sinclair, M. (2012). OREO - Persuasive Writing Anchor Chart. From Ms
Sinclair's Grade One/Two:
http://mssinclair.blogspot.ca/2012_05_01_archive.html
Turner, B. (2014). Persuasive Writing: The Debate Championship. From
One Lesson At A Time: http://one-lesson-at-atime.blogspot.com.au/2013/11/persuasive-writing-debatechampionship.html
EML309 Jaydene BarnesIsabel Horton 11477162A
Assessment Item 2
Winch, G., Johnston, R. R., March, P., Ljungdahl, L., & Holliday, M. (2010).
Literacy: Reading, Writing & Children's Literature. South Melbourne:
Oxford University Press.
Wing Jan, L. (2001). Write Ways: Modelling Writing Forms. South
Melbourne: Oxford University Press.
Assessment Item 2