From Southern Illinois University

http://www.siu.edu/offices/counsel/talk.htm

It is possible to communicate with others in varying ways (e.g., you may be more passive
with your boy/girlfriend and more aggressive with your parents). Think about how you
responded and how you come across to people in different situations. Take a look at the
chart below to learn more about styles of communication.

COMMUNICATION STYLES

Passive Assertive Aggressive

Communication style in Communication style in
Communication style in
which you put the rights of which you stand up for
which you stand up for
Definition others before your own, your rights while
your rights but you
minimizing your own self maintaining respect for the
rights of others violate the rights of others
worth
my feelings are not your feelings are not
we are both important
important important
Implications to
we both matter
Others I don't matter you don't matter

I think we are equal

I think I'm inferior I think I'm superior
apologetic
I statements you statements
Verbal Styles overly soft or tentative
firm voice loud voice
voice
looking down or away looking direct staring, narrow eyes
Non-Verbal
Styles stooped posture, excessive relaxed posture, smooth tense, clenched fists, rigid
head nodding and relaxed movements posture, pointing fingers
lowered self esteem guilt
higher self esteem
anger at self anger from others
self respect
Potential false feelings of inferiority lowered self esteem
Consequences respect from others
disrespect from others disrespect from others
respect of others
pitied by others feared by others