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Thisselftestasksquestionsaboutyourfeelingsregardingsadness,fearandangerbothin
yourselfandinyourchildren.Foreachitem,pleasecirclethechoicethatbestfitshowyoufeel.
Ifyourenotsure,gotwiththeanswerthatseemstheclosest.Whilethistestrequiresyouto
answerlotsofquestions,trytostickwithit.Thelengthydesignensuresthatwecovermost
aspectsofeachparentingstyle.
1.
Childrenreallyhaveverylittletobesadabout.
TF
2.
Ithinkthatangerisokayaslongasitsundercontrol.
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3.
Childrenactingsadareusuallyjusttryingtogetadultstofeelsorryforthem.
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4.
Achildsangerdeservesatimeout.
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5.
Whenmychildisactingsad,heturnsintoarealbrat.
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6.
Whenmychildissad,Iamexpectedtofixtheworldandmakeitperfect.
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7.
Ireallyhavenotimeforsadnessinmyownlife.
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8.
Angerisadangerousstate.
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9.
Ifyouignoreachildssadnessittendstogoawayandtakecareofitself.
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10. Angerusuallymeansaggression.
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11. Childrenoftenactsadtogettheirway.
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12. Ithinksadnessisokayaslongasitsundercontrol.
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13. Sadnessissomethingonehastogetover,torideout,nottodwellon.
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14. Idontminddealingwithachildssadness,solongasitdoesn'tlasttoolong.
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15. Ipreferahappychildtoachildwhoisoverlyemotional.
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16. Whenmychildissad,itsatimetoproblemsolve.
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17. Ihelpmychildrengetoversadnessquicklysotheycanmoveontobetterthings.
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18. Idontseeachild'sbeingsadasanykindofopportunitytoteachthechildmuch.
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19. Ithinkwhenkidsaresadtheyhaveoveremphasizedthenegativeinlife.
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20. Whenmychildisactingangry,sheturnsintoarealbrat.
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Adaptedfrom
RaisinganEmotionallyIntelligentChild
byJohnGottman
21. Isetlimitsonmychildsanger.
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22. Whenmychildactssad,itstogetattention.
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23. Angerisanemotionworthexploring.
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24. Alotofachildsangercomesfromthechildslackofunderstandingand
immaturity.
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25. Itrytochangemychildsangrymoodsintocheerfulones.
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26. Youshouldexpresstheangeryoufeel.
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27. Whenmychildissad,itsachancetogetclose.
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28. Childrenreallyhaveverylittletobeangryabout.
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29. Whenmychildissad,Itrytohelpthechildexplorewhatismakinghimsad.
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30. Whenmychildissad,IshowmychildthatIunderstand.
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31. Iwantmychildtoexperiencesadness.
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32. Theimportantthingistofindoutwhyachildisfeelingsad.
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33. Childhoodisahappygoluckytime,notatimeforfeelingsadorangry.
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34. Whenmychildissad,wesitdowntotalkoverthesadness.
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35. Whenmychildissad,Itrytohelphimfigureoutwhythefeelingisthere.
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36. Whenmychildisangry,itsanopportunityforgettingclose.
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37. Whenmychildisangry,Itakesometimetotrytoexperiencethisfeelingwithmy
child.
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38. Iwantmychildtoexperienceanger.
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39. Ithinkitsgoodforkidstofeelangrysometimes.
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40. Theimportantthingistofindoutwhythechildisfeelingangry.
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41. Whenshegetssad,Iwarnheraboutnotdevelopingabadcharacter.
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42. WhenmychildissadImworriedhewilldevelopanegativepersonality.
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43. Imnotreallytryingtoteachmychildanythinginparticularaboutsadness.
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44. IftheresalessonIhaveaboutsadnessitsthatitsokaytoexpressit.
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45. Imnotsuretheresanythingthatcanbedonetochangesadness.
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46. Theresnotmuchyoucandoforasadchildbeyondofferinghercomfort.
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47. Whenmychildissad,ItrytolethimknowthatIlovehimnomatterwhat.
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48. Whenmychildissad,Imnotquitesurewhatshewantsmetodo.
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49. Imnotreallytryingtoteachmychildanythinginparticularaboutanger.
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50. IftheresalessonIhaveaboutangeritsthatitsoktoexpressit.
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51. Whenmychildisangry,Itrytobeunderstandingofhismood.
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52. Whenmychildisangry,ItrytoletherknowthatIlovehernomatterwhat.
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53. Whenmychildisangry,Imnotquitesurewhathewantsmetodo.
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54. MychildhasabadtemperandIworryaboutit.
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55. Idontthinkitsrightforachildtoshowanger.
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56. Angrypeopleareoutofcontrol.
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57. Achildsexpressingangeramountstoatempertantrum.
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58. Kidsgetangrytogettheirownway.
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59. Whenmychildgetsangry,Iworryabouthisdestructivetendencies.
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60. Ifyouletkidsgetangry,theywillthinktheycangettheirwayallthetime.
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61. Angrychildrenarebeingdisrespectful.
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62. Kidsareprettyfunnywhentheyreangry.
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63. AngertendstocloudmyjudgmentandIdothingsIregret.
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64. Whenmychildisangry,itstimetosolveaproblem.
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65. Whenmychildgetsangry,Ithinkitstimeforaspanking.
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66. Whenmychildgetsangry,mygoalistogethimtostop.
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67. Idontmakeabigdealofachildsanger.
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68. Whenmychildisangry,Iusuallydonttakeitallthatseriously.
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69. WhenImangry,IfeellikeImgoingtoexplode.
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70. Angeraccomplishesnothing.
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71. Angerisexcitingforachildtoexpress.
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72. Achildsangerisimportant.
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73. Childrenhavearighttofeelangry.
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74. Whenmychildismad,Ijustfindoutwhatismakinghermad.
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75. Itsimportanttothatthechildfindoutwhatcausedthechildsanger.
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76. Whenmychildgetsangrywithme,IthinkIdontwanttohearthis.
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77. Whenmychildisangry,IthinkIfonlyhecouldjustlearntorollwiththepunches.
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78. Whenmychildisangry,IthinkWhycantsheacceptthingsastheyare?
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79. Iwantmychildtogetangry,tostandupforhimself.
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80. Idontmakeabigdealoutofmychildssadness.
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81. WhenmychildisangryIwanttoknowwhatsheisthinking.
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HowtoInterpretYourScores
Dismissing
Addupthenumberoftimesyousaidtrueforthefollowingitems:
1,2,6,7,9,12,13,14,15,17,18,19,24,25,28,33,43,62,66,67,68,76,77,78,80.
Dividethetotalby25.Thisisyour
Dismissings
core:_____
Disapproving
Addupthenumberoftimesyousaidtrueforthefollowingitems:
3,4,5,8,10,11,20,21,22,41,42,54,55,56,57,58,59,60,61,63,65,69,70.
Dividethetotalby23.Thisisyour
Disapproving
score:_____
LaissezFaire
Addupthenumberoftimesyousaidtrueforthefollowingitems:
26,44,45,46,47,48,49,50,52,53.
Dividethetotalby10.Thisisyour
LaissezFaire
score:_____
EmotionCoaching
Addupthenumberoftimesyousaidtrueforthefollowingitems:
16,23,27,29,30,31,32,34,35,36,37,38,39,40,51,64,71,72,73,74,75,79,81.
Dividethetotalby23.Thisisyour
EmotionCoaching
score:_____