Académique Documents
Professionnel Documents
Culture Documents
Ivan Argüelles
chalk editions
2010
1
What Are Probably My Memoirs
Ivan Argüelles
http://chalkeditions.co.cc
2
What Are Probably My Memoirs
(i)
3
forward when really means “back” a few years to mayowood
nights a softening then claire de lune, mensonge de vie,
italian lessons beside the summer pool, unreflecting or
of the future what’s to know, gathering around the darker
skirts of the Persephone-types to wit mary lou, etc. how
much more writing there is, french and abacus and sophisms
with a secret omega, delved into the cretan back file to
immerse the by now polyglot in his longing to, compose the
perfect response to all that has been read, a walking,
library? grammatical interludes between episodes of pseudo
byronic, a flamenco side to his darker other, shapes
without hands to form them a fantastic, a mexican actually
silver masks and pyramidal constructs leading to and from
planetary houses and the greater mysteries, the rains the
tropical siestas the, not the least the abysmal lutheran
cavity, hives and subterranean intersections of syntax and
depthless water, how would it work out, I mean the women,
the obsessions, MOM, walking on some soft night-earth head
in dream and sleep in glove, the fades and reveries and
4
epiphany beside a juke box with ruby and the romantics
(angel baby)
5
one by one the inches that separate, to endeavor to
“recreate” that first moment of sublime epiphany, showered
with a dazzling insight to, here and there the monumental
efforts in their ruin all but unrecognizable but for the
gift of intuition, epic by definition incomplete and
misunderstood as to intent and meaning, a music implied a,
infatuation, yessS, “there she goes again”, draw the boats
up the sandy strip and night awaits, us, tents unsavory
with human offal, the gods riding their distant powdery
vehicles tossing showers of withered bouquets, to whom the
victory, to whom the loss, a risen and a sundered, been so
far up, been so far down, etc
6
I was “there”, so it is says in a monumental tongue of the
sleepwalkers, the dazed and cigarette, the solitary and
weird searching for their “prophet”, or those drinking just
to feel it get numb and laugh tossing off a suit at a time
of the finest, until face down in lathered sawdust and the
consciousness that does not relieve a fistful of, sample of
dead flowers in either pocket, myth and umbrage, the cellar
of hell where the “king” gets it, Laundromat and suspicion
of elemental, forfeit the tomb, Brother! mine was here
first, millennium edition of mystical poetry, sold at
dealers everywhere ,”Madonna pictures”, the subterranean
blues with mexican rolaid adjunct, two by four wheeling in
the back door of purgatorio, until just enough shows to
reveal the pornographer’s intent, so sad little girl with
suicide on her mind brown eyed and beneath green baize pool
table her was a, can’t call her up any more as phone line
is dead and mom cant get wired like she used to, the ploy
about the “et dona ferentes”, big wooden, while in other
suburbs gratuitously added to the northeast of the existing
map, in mind just a few inches between us and hell
7
hallowed stitching a, attempting to make a reading of the
old french version and make it modern, Parzifal aglimmer,
or in the lucretian interstices to perceive the at last
realized, the unofficially annotated, the imperceptibly
reconditioned, nightmare, water and weeds, the choking
sensation that this is a, fabric of dense
8
wait for the isolationist clause the long airport ride to a
tramp liner, swim through helium holding someone else’s
breath, how did I get here, the din the roar the falsetto
on astral stilts, pages of obsolete silence, follow
9
matters of the heart, crimson is only a shadow of, hair
and, the delights of “seeing” for the first time, shapes of
illimitable “things” as they fade, as they fade, as they
fade
10
shivers, darkness around each root, to come into being and
pass, from the light where it was first planted then
emerged and green submerged into abyssal, infirm and
feminine in shape the intense and remote, distance equals
longing as dawn equals loss, to go back to where the root
greens its oblivion dense ropes of, pallid obscurities like
mansions of etruscan foliage darker than expected, the
underground lapping of a water beyond ken, languages of the
vast meridian unknown untranslatable with funereal siestas
and enormous empty verandas where enactments of passion and
intrigue, and suddenly in the one sunlit corner a painting
of day flowers its emergent tropical, a cupola of heated
brass and tongues like bells resounding catholic and wafer
thin echoes, to how far it goes to snow flake distant
pattern on marginless window overlook, such as a frist
winter a
11
various piecemeal and fragmented shattered sections of in
giving light, chinese on the wall and submerged ingots
below the floor, hemline recidivist in gilt plexifold with
centerpiece by vivisection blond over ash strawberry,
tossed her flirt into a hairstyle much like an early spring
rain, one eye there the other, in the middle of everything
memory just “goes”, mutant celebration of time if only to
arrest “it”, zoom to 80’s photo of “her” captured
clandestine online with no advances for the undertaker, we
who are so careful to be personal when hunger stimulates
and hallowed intersection, put a hand in and seize the
likeness! mary lou rediviva trying to remember how the
first charge and the soft dark warm dancing to a slow
ballad number as if melting and wet, spanish arpeggios
thrill the spine with corollaries of dying, “you belong to
me”, moon shots over frozen waste tundra bluish pale
absence of the, exactly who wrote the music and who the
lyrics upended depths of expanding emotion blossoms into
french verse becoming bitter and angst, twists of april the
fiendish season trying to reconstruct that ever gone moment
of day rapture when the lark flew into the sun, and what
was the early roundelay trying to say, what language
intuits its own form just to become “other”
12
sibyl in her spoken latin whispers, it is the first lesson
that separates us from the rest, after that we all go lost
into some tenebrous future always anxious about the
grammar, a labyrinth of ideas, no exit but, return, return,
O grieving, like an invention of style, the mouths of the
so many dead echoing their desire for a last cigarette
while the prophet in his anguish topples from the stair,
what cannot be promised and lacks reflection, the so called
sands of time, that bloody egypt, her first menstruation
dotted and checked in the inverted pyramid of the grimoire,
to get it back, to bathe in its refulgence naming the small
cities of the highlands after her, reviewing the sections
of night holding the brief candle with its smoke to the
fine print of the guttering stars
13
flashing, between the ears darkness takes hold of
consciousness and the ideal goes “nuts”, hundreds of
likenesses of space, the One, hurtled into a minute cavity
itself the vanishing of time within and time without
You, MOM? passages between ice and the furnace where Father
huddles with his angry can of, for just a second blind in
the holy way of “seeing” then returned to his body a
shibboleth of paint and ire, a catholic suggestion of
afterlife that simply crazes the “thinker”, and for a
furious alternate moment a life seems to occur, a rug
pattern an easel clean slate ready to be embossed with a
zodiac of color and form, a dream sequence with twins and
elder sister sequined in gypsy rags and moth burnt,
mysterious passages often subterranean between the pyramids
of the sun and moon, the letters that attach and that
cannot be pronounced, the vowels in between that later
inform the shape of the name of the deity, jungle and wax
of colliding cloud forms, a havoc in the basement reappears
later in white withering dress with breast and snaps,
coughing blood on the freeway in anxious exit from
metropole café dotted with excrescences of extra planetary
light, the mayans have landed! the mayans have landed!
14
reach her hemline, and how many simply crash silently
having obtained only to the third grade, multiples of green
and pronominal forms in the neuter, vast disregard of the
enigma for all living things! swarms of contradiction
arising from the ancient river systems, irrigation and
implant of the human mind to ken devolving, digging up the
clay to shape a this or that a, small gods with lustrous
and ominous portents, a sky fills with nightmare, incubus
of the never returning on time angst, in the closet the
muffled omnivore with her scythe and teeth of immense
impropriety, who will dare to, who will simply ignore
shelving doubt on the tier that says “marry me”, tumbling
down in caskets of rain and dead laundry to an earth
unguessed below the ordinary surface of schoolday and math,
today with us are two translators one from bagdad the other
from damascus, the discussion turns to “aleph” to the
wedges carved into sunbaked earth, to the entrances of
“her” to the exits of “her”, metalanguage
15
the radio and sudden july thunder storms hail stones the
size of, huddling beneath the metal of someone else’s
condition, planets unresponsive at first then slowly
spreading out their mutilated maps, for a section of
medicine lake or hopkins, see verso of thumb worn effigy,
chinese ideogram meaning “sister’s fled”, and the immense
influence of alcohol and pimiento rubbed into the ochre
surface of a still-born canvas, hot thoughts like lips to
be kissed, or retching out the rear view mirror on to the
endless gravel path that leads precisely to the infernal
spot, standing alone holding a thumb of oblivion, ready to
ignite the sky ready to fire away at the moving subject,
and being careful to remove all traces of the transitive
verb in order to, yes careful to look away to render
obsolete the drug store and the girl friend at the same
time
16
cell in olmstead county’s link to hell, chattering
hallucinatory dividend about to bust in j c penney’s
basement overdrive, will you convince me this didnt happen,
will you also consider the grammar book version of mother’s
long losing battle with cigarettes and mexican, or The
gypsy in the Mirror who wouldn’t come home, to be released
after a long thought out debacle with the brain censors
concerning right to death, fictions, ficciones, finzioni,
purgatorial afternoons in granddad’s coffin, lapping
soundless waters of the once known as Lethe, underscored
with a bevy of longlegged swellhipped and you know, girls,
each with her own studio contract a glass in each bill and
an eye on the disappearing zone, becomes fair to know which
is the blond in the casual and with whom is that Bible
going out tonight, lazy approach to difficult languages at,
best, you wouldn’t say but the hill dialects pose their own
sort of market dilemma in a green french chaise longue
about to be discharged from the “state” hospital on east
center street, primordial rains and chills that a window
cannot endure, forethought and bitter aftertaste running
one’s finger along the slate margin the other side of which
is the Unknown, school daze, pornographic prototypes in
long vomit gowns emerging from dime store candy wrapper,
and if this is the light of day! re phrased the organic
soon becomes the inert
17
! becomes morning somewhere else a body, electric, hill
slopes carved from tropical fruit warning suburban
18
Orion, the dusky dots around the jar’s rim, what do they
“mean”? you ask and no one will ever answer,
19
what I saw there, what will never be divulged, high school
confidential, room after lightless room of trapped emotion,
what was always being said and going on, red brick placebo
of death just around the corner, wind sails hemlines into
clouds of hungry and horizontal poetry, between the legs
the egyptian “miracle” waiting to bleed, it’s time, it’s
time now to say it in tuscan gorge prose high above the
windy summit of teenage “crush”, often induced by oscan
dream gibberish hortatory exclamation marks in the left
ear’s small radical, a kiss that seems a lifetime of
distant and smoking script, “the” kiss, what is lost in the
wainscoting or in the gymnasium’s secret cleft, what is an
agony of afternoon-waiting cherry coke and adrenalin
affixed to purgatorial window where the show-offs
demonstrate their girlish attire, what is an expected
evening of knee dancing shoved to lilac spray pubis, in the
dark, tide pools of “her” eyes, depths in which the body
drowns in order to resurface transgendered and sanctified,
of what are possibly my memoirs a suggestive topic in
current ancient indo iranian, or what follows future in
time unseen the long invisible threads leading from and
going towards, no where, a flower bed trodden under in what
night, a gospel of sanctimony and breast beating (-
feeding?) or the lecture about restraint and order, denim
bound promises in legal sanskrit,
how there are many and what are the few? borderline
\ teases boys in adjectival sense only, warms up to older
“guys” only while pleading the piano, takes lessons in
gymnast’s french in order to [censored], never top heavy
but always guileful bunny soft and sweet in her charade of
masked chairs and two ply twill, beneath which feel lower
and then sinks a thumb into the soft inner, c lo u ds
swarm investigative in pocket sky of fulminating ardor,
smokes guessed happening in muffled corridor with trumped
up boy scouts, whose will be done, grass and chaff straw
beds lie me down gently, Oh, was her a beauty queen pinked
out in gussy shuffler? troubled the male over a vacant
decision, allophone or homonym? jussive versus
intransitive, the vehicles by which we come to know her but
not her name(s), little inklings in savage tint body make
up and facial disarray rumpled in clover scented sheets
with a lavender plus on the under hem, such as it was the
motel was the capital of the world for something like ten
sweet days, then the aztecs took over from rooftops of gun
green smoldering, her was a zed in disguise, me was the
same old biddle aleph, shootings were common and the
20
streets were a map of intimate decision making, maple and
elm dominated by the topical riverbank with its immense
juttings into an unknown and wary stream, were if not for
the movie theater marquee who would have known, better?
syncopated rivalries in march tempo banner with dimpled
awning above the crown of her hair, such a light !
21
aiming aslant, cigarettes bloom like foliage in glistening
window glass, how there are many and what are the few? asks
again in distant sotto voce beneath candlelight and
funereal display of, waters of running near place names
like anoka, yea though we sink into the eternity of hell I
am with Thee,
and as who isn’t the many so where are the few? a gamut of
question marks the final rearended section of the chapter
about, her forensic tattle tale lace dipped in gesso to
whiten the already blanched proportion of the dream she
occupies or –pied, for example how many ditties in the
crumpled overture where hair begins to predominate as a
sexual symbol, lip stick traces over pizza loaded with
refined sugar until the whole disintegrates into a “hey
mambo, mambo italiano”, who is dancing with what in the
darkened back room of the by now camera oscura down by the
wharf where the illegitimate kings spend their sperm, and
in the yearbooks a rescinded photo of Miss reeking of
oversupplied sandalwood and the ochre of disaster starts
reflecting badly on, did you ever? slantwise the body
receives attention to its needs perhaps better than in the
paragraph about options, digital vivisection by orifice and
candle, sleight of hand with nether parts until surfaces a
rage to cinder the sky, sheer see through silk stocking
worn over face to better render the magdalene approach to
theology, the Das Gupta people swarming in their little
hovels shanty praise Om Om Om, and if you think bach
started it all with those parsimonious fugues then try
altering the head with a different more powerful substance,
snort and drivel of the, license to drive blind in the
month of the zinc teethwork, a bride in the distance
beckons, her small hand a persiflage of
22
they will be each a pointed variation of the other, asking
nothing in the process of delivery, the soul, the bird
tossed wingless into the asbestos
ponder this, how far back memory goes before the meadow
becomes pure blank, the void of mind, the how unessential
we are by definition, allocated meat positioned on a
skeletal frame and given a name, dust bag bound or to the
ossuary, ponder, this is possibly beautiful the wet streets
of the future climbing their hill of now, into whose bed
room enter, please, douse the lights and let the dark out
of the bag, eating some remnant of myth, map figment, hair
and ribbons of dust, tresses wound and rebound into the
spine of volume nine of the complete, how handsome is the
one in the mirror, No? the one fifth from the left in
jumper and suede velvet hoopskirts is she? forget it, lined
up for a photo depiction of a last time ever before they
all part, how many but fewer still the zero at the end,
calculated to make you weep the story never the less is
identical, call them angels call them succubus I don’t
care, ponder, the witless aging in a metal of lost back
23
roads, heat comes into being red and shiny, cools off on a
lunar junket with enough alcohol to fuel planet mars on a
plummet, divination and random house calls, hello are you
home today? under the bed in her favorite rags the barefoot
contessa in her mistress of hell mask, vomit and musk,
argent tulips and smash of white incandescence, ponder, the
valuable lesson about the growing up whole, never look
back, fruit and worm, rose, hiatus devoured by hiatus
24
conjure the malefic and the wonderful the simultaneity of a
deity halved in order to be understood (Radha-Krishna) !,
dear mummy wax in shape only a digital impress with spine
of velvet red, she was shooting for the all the way, y’
know, in a drug store akin to the mayan motto “seven come
eleven”, maze of boulevards spreading across vast and empty
fields, adolescence
25
realized what was never, a thing at once permeated by the
five million buddhahoods and the death of One!
unfold the map, let the creases out, trying to read the
street numbers and the approximate location of the cemetery
where girl friend is exhumed with her monkey, how
mysterious the library at first is, the length of the
shadows left by the waning encyclopedia, the avenues
running down the extension of all epistemology until,
greece is fixed in its unexpurgated decimal system just as
merovingian dynasties trace their umbratile codes on the
back wall, decipher the medieval aggravation as it occurs
around five in the afternoon, death of the toreador, the
guitar’s azure agony secretly inserted at the bottom of
page 1009 of the primer of, the sands turn pinkish toward
the hour’s guttering end, points of reference lead nowhere
in these seas of maze, love’s pondering, a situated gloss
with extraordinary verb forms, hand over fist in ancient
tuscan or the puzzling block script on the basalt tablet
left in the upper window, girl friend stunned outside the
circle, listen to the motor running in the idle pasture,
listen to the wheels of themselves moving in the remote
grasses, ponder “this” before evening, before
26
one else is vomiting in the garage, fornication is a
byword, the deathless vowels of Oh, running in the dark
against a ladder of tangled consonants the dreamer with his
multiplicands of “X”, what is you, doing, here is never
now, there is never completed, adding images and links to
the already throttled mind in gestation in, fossils of
paper and china, wherever the eye pastures an imperfect
mountain cut out of an imperfect sky, so how can you
expect, how can you? regarding the shape of the land under
ground where girl friend answers to no one, rains in her
eyes a dirty yellowish sort of, or the fogs that emerge
from the contraction of thoughts, what is supposed to be
the ideal is nothing but a residue of water left in the
sink from last night’s, is
27
waking, numbed, a tight dry swelling, talk and ponder,
walls freighted with immense indo european shadow lattice,
or as alphabetical memory has it a tool for long division
in dream shifts of up to two hundred per minute in the
white of an eye, speaking for the teenager in all of us, a
predominate substrate conglomerate of etruscan and neo post
and what are probably seeking clues to the UR, faustian
predilection for girl whores and tabu subjects about
forensic evisceration, pulp comic strip vision of dante’s
tenochtitlan revved up in a ’48 chevy cosmo dream, goin’
round and round in the old wheat field with firestone
diamond crusher stylus, top forty on the ace be cee station
racing for numero uno with guitar and hand going be bop a
lula, can life be so fast? can sleep be so hard? how’s a
man to be? shifts and incongruencies in the upper registers
of the syllabary under no way to be understood, normal
apotheosis halt, stop no go, flux in demand, platform shoes
and high heel sneakers the girl she just toppled, over, and
28
white ,unghh, suddenly we are in the ninth grade of heaven,
a prussian skirt shakes slowly side to side heaving billows
of chalk, clouds, which is usually a song on the radio
about pyramids and silver, the ocean is an instant in time,
and we are bound in the back seat of a rapidly moving
device, god drawn, and who is chanting like a neanderthal
erected above a miniature of sri lanka, before the buddha
came, there were many of them, in the trees, or drawing a
slow dream like fluid on the, ground, the question of
“going steady” was big, perfunctory and enormous white
blooms in her hair, a radiation of x’s like an immersion,
the soul, perhaps,
29
talk without uttering a sound, one might regret, one might
write songs without knowing it, tangled up in the shadowy
effigy of adolescent suicide, guessing whose brown eyes are
most profound, whose dark hair is most gypsy, whose
flamenco dialect is most romance, whose most body is less
by a few inches before you Blow! neither dazzle nor
impress, you shoved into a lateral off the highway one
alcoholic evening summer, lawns collapse and are compressed
into the digit of a single universe, whose face is on the
other’s, whose other has no face but the, diving down into
the abyss in order to “read”, require to name them, the
“girls” whose july is instantly turned to a crisp, flaming
portions of a sky as foretold in the diwan, this is not the
“transformative” life, this is not the, but a cheap
imitation of
30
their multiple dialect both vedic and manitou the
chattering upcountry, the long trek through what appears to
be the wasteland of, grammar and folk tale retold in gypsy
vernacular of the shining black boot, the copper pales in
comparison with the verdigris gone out of control eating
leaf and mould the supplemental registers often inaudible,
a radio strikes its diamond stylus and a haunting moon like
reverie across the river, bridges disappear in the dawn’s
hiatus, we will not get back alive, really, not this time,
assures the aphonic elder in his recumbent polyphony,
hedges darken in sinister clusters, reading is disallowed,
a feminine figure cut out of bark and distance beckons with
a frondlike hand, gestures of an arcadian simplicity which
quickly grow complex, orgasmic, multinational, inscrutable
opaque, the wheel comes into being as do the early letters
of a writing system, phonetic apologies to the deities, the
chthonic ones, that, is
31
self into the abyss of ink and alcohols, churning a
subterfuge of mythic glosses brushed with lip tincture and
carmine dyes, who will come out of the circle, who will
remain like a suicide foreordained, draining the fatal
bottle of all it contains, to the last drop a greenish
horizon turns suddenly blank, the house of mysteries with
its pornographic imagery, the girls who “know”, cannot be
approached not even with the radial symmetry of an ancient
knowledge, (where I was then beside the brick ornament of
sleep while death’s ivy crept rampant ‘round the brain’s
membrum virile
best of all, it came last, not before the angst the dread
of the, night some lurking in the, under foot the crushed
foliage of, scattered relics of a former, could she really,
mean, it?
ennui , fossil of identity ,
individuation under skin the reeling sense that, in the
bower where green’s fertile engine guns down its own leaf,
page after page of illegible sanskrit in order to, ponder,
the whatever girl friend incited and excited in the pit of
the stomach, the groin, or vomit and disability of the to,
seated in the good doctor’s office studying the plan to
destroy the mind, the Rant, periodicity of lunar phonetics,
each sound uttered through the conch bivalve of reason in
order to, whatever comes second, whatever deserves to be
negated whatever, much is more than a few times, relegated
32
to the abyss where misunderstanding turns its electric
statue into rage, could I have known, as much? seeking what
can only be determined as the rune of, the various and
random passages that remain (some still untranslatable) of
the earliest known text concerning the relation of the
deities to mortals, illegible sanskrit or hittite, the
section about ajax an ungovernable proposition, the remote
skies unattainable, a longing despite all,
ennui, a fiction, another sort of music
in its place the unconsolable, bipartite mind
33
millimeter where venus encounters anchises, that blinding
coruscation of satellite and
34
hegemony of beryl and utter shining, what matters nothing,
really
35
“thing”, sentence and mangled syntax of, opprobrium’s vale,
cast off, ’s
36
obscurity, the dante-esque passages about the “descent”,
attics in the meantime filled with dead flyboys, ponder,
the antiquities both sicilian and ionian, the seas in
between staggered with marble and eyeless gods, who will
direct the following passage, who will conduct the
orphic sarabande, who will propose the who, will the, I
am begging you “please”, to understand what happened in
the dark of the moving theater, which was the actress,
which the acted upon, acidic and incredulous memoirs
written in a mechanical backwards shorthand, to being
born what is better than to having died, ? asks the
fledgling, the heliotrope message much like the hyacinth
one, just drowns, no time to reach it and read it and
transcribe or translate “it”, is there, a blue
subterfuge lined with red litmus, vermilion part in her
unremembered hair, a chisel deftly applied to the
cinematic semblance shifting slowly from sleep to sleep,
a bower’s dream, as if to activate those street names
and hence re create the original “city” (Ur of the
chaldees?)
37
the sleeper of choice in patched gingham, the uneven
flow of something just “becoming”, a literature in
copied alphabets, be “there” for me, you will, black top
speed zones with mile a minute girls fresh from a hell
of french laundries, days in the glazed atmosphere,
trading pills with the cartmen for a trip to the moon,
the wrought iron grill laced around the brain’s
heliotrope, where it will go, following some
subterranean death wish into the desert, baked and re
codified memorials to the “never been”, in anticipation
of, where it will if ever go, ponder, situations in a
mexican patio of former dimensions, the missing
relative, the twisted explications for a grammar, a
syntax of roadways untraveled the never, to be, like
that ?
wish you were or would have been more like her, in that
singular and pliant moment of sex, imaginary bride in a
sequence of faded photographic “whites”, off color
becomes blanch a pale swath cutting through sleep’s
vehicular ink, blacker than at first a china, some
planetary discussion about the, reaching forward into
and over the borderline, the abrupt dawn of the red
satellite bursting the window pane, a truck stop near
frijole new other, someone retching in the ditch, or
else squatting in the moon’s intricate and perpendicular
shadow, when water becomes an imaginary, or the
unrepeatable heraclitean flux, adjoined to twin
situations each as unlike the possible as the latter,
intermingling of the divine and the chthonic in a plea
to mater perpetua in her guadalupe raiment of offbeat
sandalwood and chintz, driving or being driven through
what seems a year of thistle sand and haze, into the
aurora of phoenix in glistered tawny metal and black
chiffon, mirage shimmering on post modern golf lawns
with turquoise awnings announcing the “new age”, uncle
in his pool green habitat of loaned onanism and
puttering, who will not be deceived, who will understand
rightly the identical crisis in its mirror-like
siegework where backward script determines, a
postulation about art history and its discontents (style
and formulation of beauty as capital), a
38
superlative without a noun, a distance of purplish
cascades and perhaps two dozen suns setting, ridges of
mythical childhood, you will be mine, No?, or the fire
near the fox studios and the ranger on his mission to
devolve night, unraveling, a labyrinthine structure no
larger than what seems to be a speck in the eye, who is
wandering into the coast line, surf’s never up, or
sleeping inside the peeled grape skin of eternity, awash
in the dappled light of a cinematic code, soon it will
be a removed china, walking streets just cleaned by the
god of alcohol, ponder this, a bruited white taint on
the otherwise unnerved surface, her, deserts me, gone
again into the darkness around the corner from, how
bright the glass and the revolving sequence of maze,
tapestries of multicolored air, fan dancers and the
Logos!
39
rot, swamp dreams to leave her be, by the acres of
alfalfa and unmown grass, shapes of a furtive accident,
and just afterwards lying there without a compass nor
syntax to, where to next, shove off into the ego’s small
egress, desert ruminations hoping the next greyhound
will, trusting in the flocks of winterdoomed clouds hove
the above into view, and a passage to hell, no less than
more, pockets emptied of thought but for the myth
whitening its manhattan transfer, you were never mine,
at last, a library, some uncounted shells, a music of
distance a darkening, to write about, that “
40
redoubt, fashioned and fused to a burgeoning idea that
all will be retrieved in the final moment, or taking
classes in lucretius, fiery “flammantia moenia mundi”!
nihil ex nihilo et cetera, one is distant, one is in
“love” with distance, one circles the evening’s tavern
with a futile isogloss, perpendicular to everything else
one’s heart, a stabbed, a shaking at the nerve, to the
belvedere to “see” what dante saw? , who were those
girls tall skinny things in the dark drinking, what
dante “saw”, ponder, their elegant necks thrust back,
and chattering nothing, saying nothing but whispers of
eternity not meant to be heard, divulged nothing of
their sex, round and round, evening‘s network of dead
fireflies
41
distance the vedic priests descend through hindu kush,
amalgam of homeric and hittite, chipped horse bone and
depth of indecipherable text walking streets of mohenjo
daro, anorexic twiggy-like dancing girl preserved as
bronze knife, memory has defied this, ponder, exact
means nothing, random and the waters rush in, biblical
passage about the drowning with the bride, the in
pursuit of, knowledge means nothing, nouns marked for
gender and number, when did that happen, in trees
waiting for the “moment”, to drop down and become,
wearing the skins of what they have killed, in context,
jargon
42
in the invisible back room, inner sanctum where the
goddess peels back the skin for fellatio, a section of
the undivided mind, uncategorical, philosophy and
dwindling, riverside drive watching spring’s white
flowers burst into a bluish chalk, write a name there
for all the sky to see, You, maybe, but where in the
talmud have you disappeared to, underwood chases death
threat, type script of the
43
hello bells ringing this old bride of mine, for whom she
tolls, death’s furtive knell, why do it again? but for
this time do I sail the paper sea, magma of coruscating
iris, ‘scapades in sleek monkey fur coat and a diamond
of imaginary proportions, walls shake down, broadway re
visited with a flank of torrid beef, fat boy for sale,
tad’s steak house three AM with saint john of the X,
vizier to the doomed
44
which is “distance” in the various dialects of the
upcountry, we go round that, we skirt the infinite
hoping for a rebound into green, a section cuts off and
we go floating through a grammar of light towards the
imponderable, like a first plane ride through the
stratosphere where imitations of the city of
philadelphia tear off into sheer gauze, white filaments
wisping off the celestial spindle, bear me to You, again
and again, asleep or infirm in the chasm of the Hour,
which are the vows we have spoken, sotto voce in candle
light within the grotto, what depth of waters, what
utter insignificance, !, landing on a wet strip of
tarmac near nashville tennessee, which is the logical
december as predicted by the radio just minutes before,
profanity surrenders to profanity though you are Divine,
and what we witness is what we are, semblance and syntax
of the inexplicable, going through and round the
variable song that unties before it unites, bonds of
fire, links of asbestos, chain of
45
with its fuming clause structures and pendants hoisted
high over a french sort of “classicism”, how can
anything be considered “modern”, ?, ask and ponder, as
life goes on, the rituals the and the more, pale and
flaming at the same time, a literature of conceit and
riddle budding within a delicate green pod, will be,
mine, a bag of skin with bones inserted and a name tag,
nominative case singular, only, known to the ethereal as
“mortals”, in fact it is ancient, archaic as the now
faded hills of arcadia, the faun footed and the nymphs
dew damp drying out on the rockaways, nowadays an
electric train will take you “there”, if we sleep for
the moment it is to regain, consciousness for a,
restaurants where we linger waiting for the lamp to
flare, the libraries brood in a century old dark, who
will be at the gate who will be nodding against the
outer wall, who will be, moon beams strike the scum
green pond, an epiphany
46
one moves from leaf to leaf, looking for the source of
blood, or the moment when “recognition” takes on
substance, talking and talking into the night,
resemblances of matter and space like long lost platonic
coordinates, on the rail which is the daily routine, the
“job” with its cavernous dictates about alienation and
death, to embrace without consideration that moment is
to “fall” from grace, the cocktail hour becomes a summum
bonum, looking with straying eye towards the entrance
where goddesses are supposed to manifest full born, but
either end is only the suggestion of a painting, a
likeness to, = a simulacrum of, the infinite regard and
longing going through utter space in search of a
“voice”, you will know me by, strolling through the art
gallery with a no known of choice, until hesitation and
the wallpaper of “their” skin, think about writing about
“it”, “them”, that is, is
47
rodriguez Girl, the one with the distant and echoing
hair, the shining at four in the morning beneath the map
of hiroshima just seconds after the blast, who will come
to know this and others like, chasing that after-image
through wabash avenue cocktail lounges, or duck on below
the trestles for lunch on the riverbank kissing lips off
the highwire, every nerve tingling with its own radio
battery, incandescent volatile forbidden,
48
to thrill of meat and illusory dread in a six pack of
sex, or else dial “dante” for infernal discharge,
waiting on you “all”, a trecento prose redaction of the
infamous odyssey to Cipango and back
49
ponder this, also, using dante as a guide, a lume
spento, the berlitz section in unequal lunar halves,
going backwards on the cristoforo colombo through the
straits of gibraltar (jib-al-tarik), fumous disregard
for what has gone before, set sail over the glassy into
what hazy horizon, the eglantine as a prize, the caves
where the wildmen wait, the One-Eyed, solar offspring
rant, ports of call, parthenopolis, messina, panormus,
where dead gods lie waiting for re assemblage, re
vivification in a bottle of priceless white wine,
borders of hell, intimations of the religion of isis,
horus shattered into his divine fractions, eat me! eat
my Self! obscure effect of the moly, radicals of the
most ancient verbs imaginable, to be able to see
straight is not the point, to be able to see at all,
through the layers of entelechy and ontology, sperm and
root, on the sunspelled morning hillslope enormous white
bullocks unyoked pasturing on the communal landscape,
etymologies of the “wheel” sent spinning through cloud-
drift, with only a map of the sky in faint yellow
detail, to which houses tend we, to mourn, to re joice,
to which lunar mansions to bed the soul for a night, a
pondering of the illusory
a,
50
song about, lasting and longing for as seas go far away,
lonely rivers “flow”, take me with your weeping hair,
dance away the life-long hour, mark each time a minute
in despair, mind every sound with a, trains wheel going
through appenine thrill, a device called “purgatorio”
and rolled around each thumb two or three times, the
effort it takes to drink that liter of chilled white
wine, mezzogiorno nel blu dipinto di blu, what inch of
crying wood, no relief but in the imagined grotto,
placards of paper unfurled in gesso skies, a marble
deity twice over in rouge and pale summons with a single
finger the array of antiquity, azure flames into white
the almost indistinguishable where philosophia naked in
her cell pastures on “thought”, chimes in an empty
afternoon verging on meadows of green so intense
blindness results, climb aboard the divine cart, hauled
back and forth to and from luna park, the juke box with
its sad and melancholy injunctions about “my lady fair”,
from afar the roman laughter of petronius, fables about
and bruised on unhewn rock palisades the enormous face
of Momus musing on, so much confusion, labels and paint
chips on the forgotten peristyle, a senecan tragedy with
at the center stage a medea type with lunar signs all in
disarray,
51
roaring southern seas, far off the plummeting planet,
and still farther, off
52
?, I will promise you “knowledge” if you but give me a
moment of reflection beside that pond, green scum and
the temple of the god Vithoba next to it, shadows,
ponder a language that no man understands, a silhouette
married to its corporeality, moving slowly along the
dotted, continents have gone under while we talk, who
has not realized this has not, how many kinds of flowers
there are, what is the nature of stone, issuing tickets
to an imaginary paradise, as which is not, a paradise
that no man has a language to understand, knowledge
locked up in miles of unreachable shelving, volumes of
systematic reconditioning, a poem, in the perhaps of the
vaguest chaos, inches to the left and you are dead,
inches to the right and you are, dead, fifth avenue walk
up to instant hell, next to the large granite structure
is the exit, if you can but find it, newspapers and
water fountains, girls too, littered sections of a
stolen berlitz icon, in neo provencal sunscript, with a
nod to those who understand “texture” and to those who
have embarked on the subterranean route to, serial
nominalization, promise you knowledge and the beyond of
“that”, ?
what you don’t know, what cant be known, the other side
of the library’s black funnel, re register thought to,
ponder, illusionary scheme to, wholesale paradise and
chimera, soft as everywhere, are, saints named pulchra
or dulcedo levitating inches off the earth, in an effort
to combine with death, the long treks through the ferny
underpassage, to the blue light beyond, no known name,
no known identity, just the imaginary and rotting
corpse, tied to no celestial tree, foliage a banter in
the lisping mid life wind, who will wear what color
lipstick when the right “moment” arrives, charon at the
helm of his lugubrious barque, a solemn and bell warning
tones in heat colored greens sometimes rife with
ambition and, tropical disorder and the pure semblance
of chaos, itself, a verging on the imponderable, the
“you” versus the “me”, in idiotic dialogue somewhere
deep within the infrared, a situation develops followed
by a smoldering pale, infix and clitic, smokes of a
distance and the steel shaded passage towards, is it
heliotrope that yearns? light is a “form” as ideas are
actually the shapes we cannot grasp, contact nothing,
touch the skin displayed in the maze, touch
53
what that knowledge “is”, cannot say, a purer type
highlighted in yellow soft and morbid, like a “mother”,
moving with a kind of consciousness what matters is the
viscous, substance, we are all under the “sea” as it
were, investigations of coral and sponge, echinodermata
that elude typology, ramifications of the Beautiful with
at the center, “You”, shh I’m still here waiting, a
watch on the second floor and then, Bang,!, what a
surprise in chinese tinfoil wrapped around the small
digit, that means we are really mortal, after all, and
lose count after a certain number, sleep dissipating
edgelessly in dawn’s ephemeral pink smoke, a cigarette
in the trees, a poem actually about the “girls” who
smoke them, come to the ground hunkering peering animal-
like, a buddha, look! with the patient manner of a zoo
inmate spending an afternoon in eternity, convinced that
somehow it will be different, starting tomorrow, that,
Is
54
that has come into being for no reason at all, hello,
Hello, master negative of the orient flashing in
sulphuric tones in the large grotto that is Grand
Central Station, the girl with rabies barking at the
harsh fluorescent lamps, and sky itself opposed to her
thin radiology, yellow overtones of a crippling disease,
listening to the feet of a vast underground effort
trample “art” to death, museums where clutter is order,
a shape of ink rotating high overhead in place of
clouds, cinematic anarchy in the heart of the behemoth,
here is what Hope is, what is supposed, reclining on the
faint paper stencil of a heart named “kodachrome”,
vestibular nonsense in a hundred unrelated dialects all
being spoken at once into the oneiric ear, Christ
resumed in a volapuk text, “hello, Monkey, I’m home”,
55
of dirty yellow smudge, two degrees further up and you
are in the fancy restaurant where they serve octopus
dish and mafioso corpse, how the children grow up here,
and what the riddle is, can never tell when the dance
class begins or the clarinet lesson, fandango shifts in
re evaluated back yard with renaissance statuary, dead
ended, how to watch for the certain daystar pivoting
above a catholic homeless shelter, walk the eastside
streets feeling betrayed deceived, suspicious of the off
broadway actor in algerian dialect, or the wife made up
to resemble the ancient lady of death,
56
afternoon fully deeper green than expected, and around
the corner each weaving a speckled skin the “goddesses’
aboriginal and distant but, suddenly yes, within orbit,
and the poetry readings which they attend in disguise,
how life assumes them, quixotic and the equivalent of a,
get to know the secret form of the lyric, the cloudy
shape of the enigma, the way the thighs part for the
moment of truth, hidden realms hinted
The, a
57
reckoning accounts with a magnificent white tide
rushing, overhauled the lyric for a transcendental
moment when even green pales into the referential blank,
ego submits to ego in a distant plain, buddha-like the
semblances exchange pallor and
58
is it so much that sorrow, snows that cover the empire
of mechanized metal, languid detours into fantasy of the
unspoken, sense of perfume and jungle of hair, ships out
the meat to ports unknown, cadavers smoking their
remains of a life, undiscovered languages with a
phonology of metaphysical ruin, I know “that” but I am
not “that”, (yet), miasma without caution springing into
the mephitic winds, helen’s twice raped carcass dumped
into the shoals near jersey city’s municipal morgue,
that sorrow, ponder a meal with the, lunch is over for
the moment, a quick obfuscation of the senses, Israfel
with her glorious wingspan, high above the tenements of
an obscure intuition, the run on jewish girls’ names is
capitalized by Deborah, for whom poems originate and
despond and the sliver of moon, shoved into the back of
a moving vehicle off the frenzy, bypaths of Brahman and
Krishna, where salvation is, whatever gets you through
the night, Monkey’s, home, attributes of a gangetic
despair the vast and fetid, where are we going being
borne by these huge mahouts, on your left is the taj
mahal and on the right the naked jain eating “goop”,
salvation across that great bleak water, aswirl in the
sea of concern, a smaller, a thing without replica, a
59
yesterday, the body organized by units that weigh
next to nothing and the section by section, thrust
into a large machine that “sees” everything,
thoughts about the other life, a tibetan show
with street names always in reverse indigo, a
followed by its other “a”, wheel takes flight
high above the intensive care Ward, a
the other or a preview of
blank the sudden collapse, of, shifts
in the terminal red in sequence of no
known order, supplemented by a
X-ray zaps luminous of earthly glare
numinous and the volume of ether
required to, Breathe, !, deeper than expected
off the cliff with the hundred thousand elephants
or in terms of “quality of life” as the good turkish
doctor put it, a vale of tears either hemi
sphere paralyzed and no shoe in sight,
who will upend the table who will unsettle
the wine, whose debt is this ? hyphenated
lessons in survival a brief outing in aldebaran
sightings off the coast of malabar, a session
in the french pleiades, is crimson any better
than red litmus, the blue unfolds its vast empire
of rusted spanish gold, a traffic of heliotrope and
dogwood stands still at last on the promontory
where the brain seeks an instant of refrigeration
angelic hosts applaud the, characters from mahabharata
and krishna “on hold” peals longing of cuprous
saffron clouds hover and then roar into
cinematic variations of dying of not being unable
to die, this is a vedic sideshow a caravanserai
that works like a massive needle through the scalp
removing inch by inch the spatial turf
until only a gelid polyp seems to squirm
“seeing” into the ultramarine
where a shattered city of onion skin layers
its threnody can still be “heard” among
the cigarette smokers of earth, the veiled,
the plumage masturbates high above the excoriated,
a vehicle shifting, a paragraph or so later in the dark
ominous parts of the alphabet glowing for a second
only, a pastiche of literary allusions to the
so-called berkeley marina, HABEAS CORPUS, what
good are the feet, where can the bed go after all this,
a legal indecision as to the distinctions between
life and breath, the hereafter on its tenuous telegraph
60
wires home, Mom! , bursts of and seed scatters
a miasma in the phone booth where so little
really matters so just wait, a monument cries the
Statue! racing with a hereafter less than, a tenebrous
inkling that we are all in this condition, un
conscious fried from the brain up,
hiccoughing into a glass of italy,
within a stone’s throw the skin confesses
it is still looking for Cipango, an orient
of flaring brass colored inks that sift
through the comatose mind into a small reduct
no larger than the oval continent within
the inner ear, can’t hear as well as before,
only the windows seem to “shout” some other
names for utensils all lost, what food is “that”?
mom wandering dazed in the cafeteria
a ticket to no known hospital crumpled in her
other hand a map of the day dido burned,
‘member that one? a dozen or so hexameters
hastily shoved into the top drawer next
to the
it’s all so irreverent, burden of living
being forced to move in mid summer
with no place to forage the leaves’ greenery
dies a pale amber dying, much like the shot
heard in the taxi exactly one minute
past midnight with saint john of the X
, on one’s knees, pleading, ponder,
this is a life’s time of gone, in a cinder
the instant retraces its circular fiction,
angels devastated crouching on car hoods
as if staring into some noon hour hell,
where you were supposed to meet me, white munitions
out to water, a finnish expression for “suicide”
we are all makeshift motors, you know, an inch of meat
about to be carbonized in the metaphysical epicycle,
period, and the most is never more than less, a
sheer drop of blood, only one, meet me in hell,
mention this to know one, not even the social
worker with the california accent, blue marble
upholstery in a metaphorical vehicle
indra king of the gods dead drunk in the rear
view mirror, apostasy of the divine
in their movie theater, ash, crunch, metal
inferno a gust of, can he revive for just a
planets go by in slow motion taking
skirts of pale azure in their wake,
61
a boat can never go that “far”, insists that
the outer ramparts are bright red, that a
green engine exists just below the surface
of saturn that and that, too, is also too
big a word, implying we are mortal, shells
of a thin weaving between a bipolar sea
mercurial and prone to vast typhoons, a
mind is unstable, a doctor lifts a scalpel
, this one’s for Apollo!
the decoration fritters out at the end
just a small glowing excrescence, used to be
a child used to, be,
62
on earth, shaking and doubled over like Hercules Furens,
a character from a senecan tragedy who has just been
cheated by the cab driver, in old run down a lot, rotted
at the timber with only so much time to go, before it
blasts itself out, to ruminate on the green pastiche of
the remaining, it pales aside from the italian lesson
what else, there is a suburb somewhere to the north with
an obligato, phrases easily elude, sky changes from
distance to a thin phase blending ochre
63
learning, knowledge becomes its opposite in machine
translation, ditto in irreverence, someone who deserves
not be named in her black umbrella underwear tugs at the
art museum’s distant portal, I am dunned in a firestorm
of diphthongs and consonant clusters, trying to find the
way out on the endless highway to bakersfield, candles
ablaze in broad daylight, sperm tracks threaded through
the non existent clouds, a death to go on “being”,
64
some kind of paranormal hinduism, a sojourn in the world
of dis connect, unplugged the mantra-like lyrics,
“you’re an angel” based on a green foundation of wanting
to die, recur in between sessions that summon a latin
goddess whose shine is etruscan for death-bait
or, haven’t we seen this, done this, been this, all too
often in the glare of a human presence, going up for
promotion, another merit review without success, a niche
in the library’s third floor near a window, if you’re
lucky, if you care, ignoring the birth defect of life, a
rotund essay in recent german geo-political history, a
foot over the neckar another over the isar, kinetic
revolvers aimed at willy nilly, the pointless farrago of
subject cataloging rules decentralization mob and the
grand et cetera of a finale in Kip’s noontime bar
television monitored by, exhausted by the perennial
overload of a day on trial with the red head of choice,
bunkered down in hilltop flat adjacent to musical
corollaries farflung and post planetary epicycle, a huge
and sometimes bitter pleasure, of a ponder, too distant
now to relate the evidence to the whole, was born and
transfigured into this momentum, divisions of a
65
linguistic nature only, please cancel tomorrow, or the
day thereafter in the nation’s only capital, and in the
meantime going crazy, slowly, involving the self in a
secret photographic process, blur of “girls” becoming,
one girl one love one world, you’re an “angel”
66
“pantograph”, misnomer and illusion’s love everywhere,
assuming the momus mask in a mime dedicated to madonna
in delicto, hermeneutics and porphyry columns of
intimate lingerie wrapped around the additional membrum
virile (see verso of t.p.) as if a televised edition
were even necessary, all fall down in a holocaust of
paper and imitation vermin, super sales to the right and
the bliss blistered knock out kiss to the left, in the
key of delta a paratactic sensation undressing for the
“cure”, don’t cry for me argentina, !, her white shining
backside elevated and enlarged, focus on the blind
pornographer’s inner eye agape, cruor imberque, dripping
in the eaves a darkening, a furious rapture about to,
be, being “there” is like being absent, life is Death,
after all, flush before using, leave as little trace as
possible with a lipstick like “that”, small footsteps,
smaller still the flower beds trampled in their grace,
? (?”beast marriage”)
67
reeling from that failed love affair with a piano tuner,
a volitional practice saturday mornings with a large
wall-sized poster of her, what never goes away is the
luxurious thrill of doing something always wrong, in the
chord of delta minor, obbligato staccato maverick
recording artist(e), waiting for that next identity
shift from alph to zed, climbing on a solo rock to
discern the assemblage of arriving clouds all a-roar
with defiance and tumult, no hind sight here, no epic
versification but the paratactic buildup of a lifetime
isolated and isolating, will you be “mine”, ruby and the
romantics, angel baby, what to do with the deaths
multiplied that are beginning to foliate all over the
screen, the father the dog the famous poet the lover the
mother the photographer, the, and getting dizzy with
nose bleeds and temporary paralysis of the left leg, in
a bind with a pseudographer’s notion of biopsy, stitches
up and down the blind side, what a life has been, autumn
leaves and a rosary of greeks run under the wheel, of
“fortune”, fate willing be not so unkind, dear heart
how it did begin, the black and white with one breast
exposed and a look, sort of terror or panic, chagrin,
hopes to remain just like that, goddess/slut/girl,
proportion of meat to thought less than an equal
68
balance, rapidly dissociating the “rational” from the
dream of reason, aleatory and paratactic reminiscences
of a life’s time of self indulgence, akin to the
masturbatory technique formerly known as the “aulic
diaphragm”, once over in red litmus with porphyry ingots
of molten gold poured down the girlfriend’s yearning
throat, swallowing that is the god that invented her,
junk trash heap inch after inch, peligro, how this can
define a life, should it, ?, mine in a swirl of
obsessive self-revelatory madness, looking constantly
into the mirror where Hylas went lost, multiplied in his
bitter darker soul by the one multiple Nymph, Echo,
drowning in the utter lack of redemption and meaning,
that is a life, defiled but its own definition, a
circular pattern the over, and over, again, trash and
ponder, peligro junk, don’t drink the water, mutilated
in his dunkelheit, shadier pale of white, Hylas, mourned
in hill and vale by Heracles, who will ever ribbons of,
maze, the invisible thread by which I mate whatever
chance can be read in the labyrinthine daily, you plus
me equals the sniper’s hell, a game of a
69
questions any makes, a while longer into the red,
bordered with silver rust fringe and opalescent glimmer,
a dotted refrain about “kiss me I’m dying” takes my
breath away, ‘s all in the’magination, y’ know, take her
and handle her mentally, Not physically, get it, ?, Mom
hasn’t been home since, crawling on bended knees across
rodeo drive to the big Jewelry, inside which are
encountered the total sum of the bivalve virgins mary,
hitherto unidentified only as “the one with the apex”,
and the more it devolves the shadows only whiten the
once so blanched formerly, situations are complex, the
mind’s glove has no fit, feet cross a different equator
than their maker, may we suggest a broader firmness of,
and it’s all so terribly unwholesome, so underhanded,
tawdry pornographic “dirty”, nothing to be proud of
except for the more than occasional outbursts of sheerly
sublime snatches of “I love You” as never before
expressed, and nothing we can know about the ending that
hasn’t been previously undermined by a whole of the
half, platonic reverie of ideational content known as
“carniceria ilusion”, hunka hunka hunka gibbering apes
circling the mirror for a picture of the light, hand job
extracted from the encyclopedia of reversions,
hesitance, solitude, agony, longing, “kiss me
I’m dying”,
70
gravid sluggish burning a smoldering, nothing really
discernible but for the faded lingerie out to dry on the
mind’s one rope, a white that lasts about as long as any
green, blotted out then in a smudge of erasure marks,
lost in the footnote about the Laundromat, faded more
than faded evanescent, a hand’s small brief in the
silhouette of air,
71
russia, face in mad thought about the remainder, air
takes a breather while we “mortals” turn the wheel, for
what, a gainsaid nothingness bottoms, out
(ii)
72
post coasts hauled a beach strips a
Hoy! muses sunk in reverie’s dark
linking fix to life with rust tenuous
was ever a ? lasts so short this
art of breath is light so utter?
sub ended in appropriately and green
waves code switching in denial\after
birth I came to (be) a likeness
to either side of the smoking portal
snaps hawsers and slips anchor
deep a gore the depths unfounded
will I set sail, a ? whitened a
wisp entails section by section
the vivid reminiscence of oblivion’
s discharge that vast anterior
yawning and while I look to other
side a watery mass with spume buried
planets hurls a maze with codes
locked forever as enigmas are
or should (be) lessened the light
across long lawns of grass invisible
nights of spray and snatches of song
ivy colored and
where red trims space’s outer rim
and shapes what take linger like
faces peering through the tangled
of lace and lichen like, a hovering is
a question flesh unredeemed of brother’
s oval nest this a twin in birth
this act of light of fraction
s untimed spacing inches where no
dark the expanse ahead as darker the
still behind a moving a lingering to
“see” if it is still out there
what was promised if one comes to bear
alive the length of tunnel longing
now when seems forever “the young”
look ! seized by the parallel of despair
to be winging, aloft , yes
nor adrift a seized by non chalant
sparks of light fevered and dreaming
rushed into the maelstrom the
a fact is lost sooner than ever
we are come to the banks of grass
the lush floral horizon asterisk
& anemones a verdigris bar across
the middle seems less apparent the noon
73
hush times what will come to be
are you “there”, too , mon fr`ere
? despond and its early clitics
across the vague lawn upon which quickening
the forms take shape a persona or
a skirt lifted above the knee
stepping tenderly over the grassy ghost
green and pale blending into the hedge
behind the last thought
who will be listening to “it”
who will be covered in ivy and pallor
sleep transformed into units of light
into a greater transgression of
hands ascending from a rich greek loam
like inscriptions inherent in spears
thrust into the glassy dome of air
we are “inspired” and look
alert startled to the alarms “within”
a hundred ways to grow to go
toward some impressive city of no known
bridges half way there , shapes yet
to come being beside the road under
the leafy spreads a thought takes
an idea circling its other self
dimensions of shade a lingering repose
before the river assumes its timelessness
a meandering a through libraries
of the unmeant and not yet considered
a boat docks by the fluid bank
the charge of sky lightning a sudden
! breaks in two the deep green thrust
to know “that” how it got there
am I ?
shivers in the hundred degree afternoon
beside a pale city of a myriad onion skin
layers breathless the a sweat
naming and numbering a succession
of kings and the innumerable sand
the oasis and its multiple mirage
a duplicity of promise within a
parenthetical what basis
of voice learning to “read”
what it pronounces across the eons
shores of light a gassy re entrance after
births and deaths a nod to the
wary of hiding in the underbrush a
buddhist “type” eyes forelorn a beckons
74
a forefinger held high a passages
of indiscernible the inks over
the a waving fronds of “recognition”
a Yes we have landed it seems
between sedge and rotted timber and
soils give way to iambs and dithyrambs
a glimpse of the porphyry futures
in yellow and dazzling hyacinth bent
over to crystalline streams a deep
draught of clouds
it was about this time
that the hegemony of yellow burst
a chilling you were caught somewhere
in the middle below the street
where the first greek got killed
hauled a quarter of a mile by a big rig
stone flowers sent into “got it”
brassy greaves over the bony shin
caught marching middlewards up
steep the asian hill soft amaryllis
softer still the down purple thistle
leggings through mould and marsh a
syntactic array seen through the mists
“of time” whose will be done
house of mirrors dizzying effect of
the tumult in the blood cigarettes
posed as a mystery and wearing a floor length
appeared more remote than ever
which made sundays more emphatic more
at the core sick to the stomach
watching evening thurst its darkening sleeve
through the windows of the passing cars
distance a shining
sort of the emaciated face?
kiss a the placard clearly said
P E L I G R O
wave’s length a breath takes
ever so “long” a depth of distance
before out lingers dying
was it ever so green the placid ?
we sink then in imagination’s pool
the unreflecting surface a symmetry
not quite perceived “syntagmata”
harsh winters quell evening’s forced
denial a summer where a season’
s airy flight what sounds a mere
axis eyes closed and buzzzz
75
a death so far circular dislocation
of time allows for so little\
else is blank\ some or many days
indistinguishable summers in cotton
fold pleated where vermilion bestows
a lesser dignity to the flowing
rivers of distance and the multi
floral dispatches in dust and mulch
cloying air’s slept fabric where no
eye against the immense black marble
erected perpendicular to sky’s ornate
azure thunder roils and glistening
tombstones upended holding avuncular
and vast trying to recall “why”
here among the grasses and hedgerows
confused gravel of the gods forgetting
to number the months until the dimensions
added up to a sum of imponderable
what you think one doesn’t easily
the relentless confusion of a single day
not to speak of its horse tethered to
the copper chime noon’s solitary Hour
when no sound but the siren song
tied to a mast and chasing waxen thoughts
into the chasm of mystery the all out
daydream to surrender to shapeless
and ink spells arabesques mostly
or charms verging on green ‘s
utter pale before the minute’s up
seconds later and the diorama red
and imperceptible hush the weeds
fall asleep so quickly then
yellow brightness and lapse into a
ever fainter the former gloss a
words cannot speak such utter despair
nor claims any vowel to higher purity
we will never be the “same” though
life equaleth death and be far apart
our arms that hover near sleep’s
daft shore inclined whose embrace a
reverie when colors side with “life”
no known blank the shore’s opposed
sands buckle under vitreous suggestion
s of epic struggle to “under stand”
alter ego quips red into gossamer
afternoons plunged in delicate pastels
mauve over lime quicksands the death wish
76
with a thumb ready to drink to
the opprobrious dregs , bitter loft
alone we tried then succumbed to
virgil’s plaintiff in ancient tunis
her wig hat ablaze with chimerical deity
awash on tolls flake a mire a
wish it would all “go away”
nurse heaves her bosom in white aria
as plans astray gone into taverns dank
the walls are missing! SPACE FLASHES
nothing else but the emptiness where
heart took hold here with some grass
ruddy reeds in desolation’s bank
a far distance graying smokes less
a pattern than an unformed desire
we will not return to that theater
, no more the ceiling’s starry crust
now a paste glazed over pottery’s
spanish ruin as gold runs to dirt
a kind of proof mom can only be
illusory in her carnation whitened
deadend and hip rose sarcophagus
how can we hold on to this after’s noon
? a kempt thing stared at in the
shop window we are not allowed to
enter no more, ghost times in the
mexican newspaper ready to burn
like vergil’s faded blue smock
puzzled over the german cartoon version
of a life on this planet ,
that was childhood
passages in blank ointment the sunday
school lesson about the dead messenger
a lips and mouth like soiled lavender
on his camel and waste so much
can never be repeated “solomon’s temple”
the mystery in the garage with its large
white whetstone and rust
to empty the bottle and lie about
where have you been dandelion wine
crushed under the pillow the still
growing hair though gone all these years
a grandfather’s premature death
in his egyptian box with Mummy Nut
weeping over the life insurance policy
what never comes to fruition what
only seems to be a label on a jar
77
what are the hooded figures remnants
of a shadow play in a mock asian
polity with city states growing like
a feigned entity in mask and putty
at the door holding yesterday’s news
in wet and pumice while enraged
the waves outside the window menace
darkening the already nothing sky
what puny a mortal what a saddened
day’s shirt is bloody torn thing
wisps of utter and fainting pales
her was a , sister’s gone to “hell”
to pay off that paternal debt
and wonder what wind makes so cold
the tree’s naked , a tortured sofa
fallen into sawdust and a brassy
reflection holds nothing intact to
make of the latin lesson a new beginning
then a blown light fixture nodding
into a cornered , awful display of
anguish and crimson with held
together by bits of rhyme becomes
first of all a “poem” as if to salvage
what is best unremembered of the
chaotic whose face takes shape
on the record player’s turntable
much like the aztec mask shivering silver
on the obscure wall , will come to
know the after life, will be
known as dust of ,
“big waste space seems heart”
forever long ing ‘s a portal a part
phonic and a parted way vermilion
cruises into the other nothingness
the spent trail of incandescence as
it vanishes into its niebelungenlied
hill over dale of frost and spite
in a northern state far from
and what echoes is not the same not
the flower not the grass not the weed
yellowing in its conversation of
trellis and dust , of
seems heart a big waste space
patters a rain ever so slight
the silver disgorged from a night
of rust and consonant clusters
down under the skin where chills a
78
wherever I go it’s so “lonesome”
a radio seems to play or a
saw nothing when I looked just a big
sort a’ encompassing the round
of births and deaths with a large
incision made just below the waist
to learn a new grammar in order to
express it “better” this sensation
of rounds of birth and deaths
in the trees some of them staring
into the night a movie shows
how people gather in the dark
the plural is a composition not easy
to describe how some colors get in
the way around it is also abstract
no longer the singular person a
modulated frequency , for , example
, red is a depth few can attain
most are settlers on the left bank
or persecuted for having “believed”
at a time when science is in the bleachers
watching a surfeit of stars in the west
over a small hill plundered the town
some dacoits in bandana and rubber
, I am never sure, which , a fiction
at the end of each sentence
there is a plausible communication
leading to the next, But in poetry
the affirmation is of no priority
and oftentimes the beautiful is a thing
until itself (?) so one can imagine
that talking among each other the same
as death looking pointedly at the
crossword puzzle for the meaning of “
ideolect” , actually more popular
with the guys than the gals in high school
, sort of scared them off with a name
like that and looks to match, hoodlum
pachcuo bum wet back, dirty Mex’
whatever is in and of itself an “end”
reading to catch up with the philosopher’
s stone or on a pyramid dancing
it’s all mutant chasm abyss endless
song and crazy how it all flashes past
in less than an instant before
the next Geist , or a polar star
without warning and that cold bottomless
79
drink you shouldn’t have but Did
sunday night french lesson
ennui entropy recidivism et cetera
the whole without its parts as time
disguised as a , bitter and
dejected , how is one to get
“the” understanding ? a river
a opposite in cinnamon and azure
a nebulous afternoon parting who
was that stranger in the silk get up
? her was a brunette and tumble dried
to finish the , vague , turns into
pornography or a reasonable fac simile
there of , goes the “wanderer” the
lost soul a stray dog a evening’s
repose no where a dilapidated logs
yellowish everywhere the miasma
a wandering towards the mirage a
shimmering distance of , sands
a storm of , to read the interlinear
text in its litmus of profound red
verging on prussic acid the capital
a city in blazes near the horizon’s
virtual north as the shaggy hoards
et cetera , in a litter version the
heroine becomes defamed and numbed
before a protocol of flame and brutish
though a buddha would never say so nor
sell used cars at such a price
avers that nostalgia is a dragged
her across the assembly floor before
the patres conscripti unscrupulous as
if watching a pornographic flicker
unwinding that ineffable silk sari
we are watching and it is her skin
(the song, to be) unraveled , actually
who can say , the metal obtains to a
heat of full degree circular and ultimate
as last things “are” , the class room
fills with inconceivable murmur
as sea shores its last hope in “me”
a drowned boy and his comets , do I
look aloft in sweet agony a poem about
to become , ? cannot decide and
ramparts of devastating space double
around the corner another door says
it’s OK who are about to die
80
salute Thee !
to disentangle memory a hopeless and
ask Psyche , get over the feeling
that death is such a bad thing ,
how often there is a ceremony and
then home coming in its autumn russets
and puerile game strategies a car
that goes over the cliff and the comb
in place in the perfect hair of the
perfect girl friend : ”moon light”
which is a berlitz redundancy daring
to cross the cemetery at the stroke
of midnight , does passion become
its own gilt edge ?
a vehicle pulls over and dumps a body
into the ditch , hominoid greekling ,
girl friend sits staring sucking
on her sugar pop as disaster lilts
a catastrophic glimmer slit in her
left eye the entire universe “careens”
like a herd of elephants plunging
a thousand feet to their doom , does
she Care ? later we will learn this
was the fate of Indraprastha a game
of chance and the willing dumbness
which is mortal flaw calling it “dharma”
, smaller maps attached one to the other
and developed into a length of mileage
somewhere the distance in parasangs
between angkor wat and persepolis ,
it is the ennui that erodes the fetid
greenery that extends from delhi to agra
, it is the yawning abyss , pascal’s
wager , darkness to the full that spreads
hushing the lush hues near the “golden mile”
, lay the head down beside the water
a still planet buried in the left lobe,
girl friend sucking on her sugar lolly
, “nothing really matters”, says a
infirm diction please stand and say
it loud in latin for the whole , as
its parts a sunder and a dank lull
a , isn’t it awful ?
how thoughtlessly we pass
from one classroom to the next
indictment cipher vacant as walls
fall down a crush of dust and verb
81
formations to the left a pronoun hesi-
hesitates to utter itself in denial
as others onlook to vestiges of
epic strands along the shore immobile
as husks of rusted and dead navies
the bulk of time lies interred here
episodes of planetary ruin and
disgust with the personality leads
to the inner light ! abounds with
intuition if only could drop the name
the clause about who born and where
what parents did who brother wifed
illusory butcher shoppe where bone meal
a text takes shape under the knife
ethereal and dumbfounded ‘pon
gilded tomb , archipelago , as for
sister all these years dead to the thumb
and livid with vivid contradictions
bible upholstery in “that” neck of the
woods a lacking history a bitter
stare into the eyes and a mirror
comes back notched with psycho prompts
Oh then a dance in the dark a
sweating and lessons in comparative
everything as one feels one’s way
out of the classroom into a noon metallic
with glare and hoods moving imponderably
through the spatial interstices
a warning “cuidado” P E L I G R O
drinks to the bottom a murderous draught
and sinks down the body to regain
press “float” and angelic choirs
with blue eyed fingerprints
the elevator only goes one way
guess “which” , the small volume
of verse with hacked spine and
library traces of litmus and the dead
animal at the end of the day whose name
is to be memorized , lovely weather
in the spain of mental induction ,
girl friend sucking jujubes on her
placard of impersonality as sky
faints dead away into a pale regard
of unwholesome desire , sends a message
to the automobile graveyard about
and if that isn’t enough a carillon
begins to echo in the depths of the
82
sleeper’s hemispherical ear ,
imagination’s traffic of grass and
clouds a semblance of rotating faces
blank windows an undertaker’s tow
to remain anonymous the streets
only bear numbers and directions
a sheaf of hands becomes the orient
toward which the night road blends
impossibilities of
hyphenated “the blues”
disintegration of milestones so
nothing is read aright as heat
a process of irreversible at which
the umbrian correction engraved
in rightsided figures and dante
suddenly steps forth from a nimbus
of powdery blue , a horizon of ineffable
the damned perceived in a descent
toward the vertigo of ice , is
becomes alternate of zero but too
Late , in his car going around
in circles beneath the eerie winter
trees , could it be ? one who is
Beatrice laid to rest beside the rills
of a small cascade to offer her
resembles girl friend stoned
in her hiatus of sweet and
diatonic scales arching toward a
heaven of naphtha and wild thyme
it all happens just once the “a”
beginning to end all over the map
a credence that simply “blows”
never to know You again , a
fragrance in the hair a lilac or
jasmine spray tenderly from a hidden
sea “initials”
through these stifling media
we must pass , this conflagration’
s wall a silent evocation of girl
friend’s lasting and as swiftly as
the arrow flies or thought “thinks”
unrepeatable lesson in azure and ink
a meandering in the atrophied pages
to construct the daedalean maze
over again and
grammar instructions impart no wisdom
or stoned in afternoon’s opium
83
to let pass the classes of fiction
the reveries the desponds the sciences
where colors pale and when air
a suffocating sleep in indigo and
the profound breaks through its glass
tenuous and without detail
girl friend’s oblivion portal
scanned fractions glittering moon’s
abstract bird on wings of paper blessing
a berlitz section in dark red
the vermilion part in “her” hair
as it verges on motels intricately wired
for the symphonic tone poem ”sheherazade”
distills a no logic
“which is the love that informs ?”
asks a darkening shade as following
rituals of adolescent and the punctuation
around the small space in between
blanched and parti-striped as nations go
a spanish conjunction close to
ypsilon sequence of radials a fine
print in crimson plush next to girl
friend’s cherry coke
love that informs
measuring tables of velocity and
glass a hovering wing afternoon’
s expunged of their weight a lengthy
section like a hotel in reverse
down which corridors assumed shadows
pace untranslatable “that informs”
what their names were or are (!)
or in place of the expected syllables
a figment of “love’s illusions every
where” doesn’t really matter
“in whom doth love inform its Virtue?”
versions in softer hue of , aspects of
and then coming out of the dark left
over the machines that imitate the heart
in their wake cities of watery waste
plunge into a magma
to fix the once and for all the to
likenesses of girl friend in her most
vituperative mood, in her , ponder
the reactions to “growing up” to
driving automobiles or hunting
for the sake of the “kill” and a
departure a history of blanknesses
84
issues that impart dust to each syllable
we become infirm in a sleep of sounds
a rigidity of and then collapse
a heaving into the bricklayer’s silence
a structure of impossible stories
inches and inches thick between the
an opprobrium perhaps of drug and skelter
avenues open up their green vistas of
and a section laid aside to develop
the “emotions” only to become insane
red vicious and large as a holocaust
breaks the mind down , informs Virtue
, into scattered little particles
brownian movement of syntax and “meaning”
here , give me your white little hand ,
Oh I thought you meant , and the flux
brings in the turgid dross of myth
inexplicable and regicides and ghosts
all gibbering in dialect near the monument
where , a lapse of sense and nothing
darkness the utter , a squalid remnant
of light as the bodies pull under the
magnetic tow into the starry wash
of far , time after time facets
of a glimpsed in the dance as a lake
descends on the crowd of onlookers
drowning them in sorrow and
, it was supposed to be “love”
the ancient thing the pale remove from
the tombs unetched in their night
what is longing being sought after
what is the thing that is “missing”
? circles
on the one side there is right thinking
on the other dead auto mechanics
what flagship honors fate , what fate deadens
lessened by hope a slight fraction
they are turning green they are
by turns more pale than ever and
the thin cigarettes passed from mouth
to mouth a cavity enforced by a situation
I had no hand in “this” avers the
totem beast wildly sweet and denatured
as first wives can be , not tend to know
anything really what life is about
the section just below the grass criss
crossed by a temporary madness called “noon”
85
the goddess in question whiter than
evanescence as moons round out a typology
a teratology , space hovers above its glass
wider than it is broad the distance
between thoughts ankles down near
the eleusinian mystery where the “girls”
in their may undress requisition a
soporific for the hercules of choice
much as aristotle had imagined in the
prior analytics , or looking beyond
the byzantine headland beyond the tea shoppe
where azure faces a litmus test
below the waist , enigmatic and querulous
at once the darkness innate in her eyes
drives me “crazy” , to know ,
how can I ever ? the usual mandate
of poetry to not explain , to leave “it”
alone , redress the tapering limbs
the wherewithal to understand but
never do fully , the neon marquees
are simply a punctuation in man’s
fumbling journey , for what it’s worth
on that side is the Phlegethon
burning with brambles and the unexpressed
a tower of invisibility meant to madden
for being unreachable , for being at
all , to look too long is to desire
overmuch
in blank sections divided by red and
the gross infirmity growing along
the lower margins nearest to Hesperia
the dead beasts that line the royal marge
flexes a whip a wind ladders its way
up into the topmost moon while looking
away the legal onlookers , a cast
of several hundred dozens , or so ,
mechanical clocks rotating for what?
osprey and gull take off on “time”
we are witless in retrospect , as
always and the palest formation
utterly unsanctioned in the epilogue
where confessional and orange side
swipes a merely lateral condition
a one which we will , refuse , but
ponder the , “inexpressible” , a
fragment shatters in Hesiod’s ear,
that some god is being invented as
86
one invents the perfect summer , a
green fossil buried in the eyelid before
waking becomes sheer impertinence or
, what a longing to bear silence
to its perimeter by paces red and
nacre , silhouettes bearing the names
of the few summer months left to memory
, the hazy the distant the god a sighted
a semblance to the underside of a leaf
impress of , sections unbearably
white by length of time it takes to
compose this music , the “I am alive”
situation , band in brass and fleet a
what does that mean ? to me matters
as such are shortended phenomena
a slight of hand in the night
of unorchestrated stars feeling
that any recovery is for naught a
residency on the planet no sooner
begun than demised , a fortnight or
so later the new developments on
the hill erode in a dialect of
perishable vowels , a rice cake for
the recurring hell-god , a pig
donation for the one in silk pants
who is prepared to devour the summer
moon , a peninsular section breaks
off , magnets whirl out of synch
from the true north now an obsolete
companion to the illyrian baedeker
, her hands ivory white implicate
a distant air with darkening why ,
and for the deity hacked to pieces
in the sullen marshes some shiny red
toys meant to “last” ,
a pirated copyright to childhood’s
imbalanced a window such as the
auto wreck with someone’s uncle’s
brains spattered over the front seat ,
could winter have been so cruel ,
skidding the articles about divinity
a plausible or implausible goddess
in renewed bright red hair known
as “flammantia moenia mundi” ,
waving her detached small white
hand as if a munitions fabric ,
as if a ponder , weights of sky
87
caries of the moral fiber , famous
the “dioskouroi” in plump red leather
hide bound to an orient cigarette
head band tight around the and
barely able to see either to right
or left smoke signs , not to mention
the late summer colors the hyphenated
orange and green turkish formula
much like the burnished cliffs the eye
harbors just before dying , a song
floods the skin , a ponder “this”
, elemental horizon in burnt sienna
or , vague sensation below the pen
umbra unpromised and shaking violent
ly , either side a quivering without
focus the deity enthralled with sheer
mortality in the guise of girl-skin
and stiletto heel shoe , escarpment
that leads to tragedy , automobile
rush to , roiling waters of a foamy
conclusion to a lighted journal ,
well above the norm and usually speaking
in measured cadences in a dialect
of choice , the whole zeroes in on the
parts a platonic illusion danced out
on the valencia ballroom floor every
other saturday night in charcoal
blue blazers and pink , the god in
question behind the wheel of a buick-8
vast and darkly sounding across roads
of no fixed terrain , a wild , a ponder
able situation what youth , greeklings
in sport gear and greased intuition ,
where the light barely seeps in , where
in beds of soft green moleskin , where
a god other than the self treads
provoked by ire and , wars break out
in the mysterious margins of a text
yet to be figured out , roots and
syllables of a proto proto mythiform
ideolect in which we dream unresponsive
to the heavenly choirs above (“there is
a light above my head”) , chanson de
grace , not prepared for any accident
the chasm greedy for prey takes us
wheel and all , a spent , a lume spento
, girl friend has nothing to do with
88
any of this , a writing in the dark
a writ of habeas corpus , a –lusion’s
every where , love’s unformed body
wrapped in tropical leaf to keep
out the light’s fierce incursions ,
girl friend who can barely read only
concerns the self with a renewable metal
, with a cosmetic plunge into , a fume
that snakes out of the goddess’s left
nostril , a metallic sheen blinds
the summer’s catastrophic name , to
ever know what happened , to have read
it just once (“hapax legemenon”)
in a book otherwise illegible for
its macaronic signs , unwholesome
unsuitable for common consumption the
a reverie , avers to a footnote in the
future to be discerned by the holy a
as a , whatever , sanskrit topology
spreading into the softening hill slopes
“piedmont” rivulets and curling avenues
‘pon which the gods build their infirm
mansions of dross and poor calculation ,
much in the manner of men , much
in the mirror of man , a sadness ensues
the incarnadine unreachable what can
never really be expressed a distance a
long , a ,
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
a other a , the , “on the street
where you live” , darkness ,
delight in nothing , end comes and
‘tween sorrows what other falls
but the undone tapestry a loom ,
fits during star spell a , section
s by turns red and pale make , fade ,
duns toward the dusty “west” some
where Beyond , no door plies a
gray stones a pattern , meant to
say it differently , but too late ,
not so as longing the over , hills
of dusky lost splendor , a gl-
ittered around “her” head a light
, must soon too fade , must , as
ponder this , a house of dust
and oblivion lengthened by , plied
the under waters of Dis , fraction
89
s a mere , a flaming segment wheeling
its way into inner space , a meant
to but later a changed “man” , a mask
of a person in distress disguised
as , a , formal inclusions require
a matter of “fact” , some times
the houses just fade away , the
streets glide into an unlit chasm ,
the neighbors forget to say goodbye ,
the new car up the block WHAM!
smoke rings wispy refractions into
a sky of , ring a round the rosy,
whose soul was that “escaping”
through what singular event ,
throughout the night a thin sob
a wailing between the walls ,
a sensation that had happened
all before , a eerie , isn’t it ?
days pass by unnumbered unaccounted
for , weeks turn into a green
palinode upside down and further
on in the “next” chapter , a girl
emerges hermetic and unapproachable
as things get more tangled a
metallic shine to objects , a drink
is offered to the unwary , a toxic
substance full of pleasure a for
bidding , or soon it is the noon
of the apollonian transgressions , the
hypertrophy and illusory carniceria
where oblivion mates its eurydice
in a grassy misperception on a
woody tuft outside the last suburb
where ringed with the ethereal Mater
Dolorosa levitates a mere , lakes
of perfect depth manifest in midair
who that emergent girl is , hermeneutics
the assyrian bull metallicized and sheer
breathing a fire “ignoto” , houses
through which we pass darkly
the unknowing substance with its
corollary shadow , the mephitic
arrow aimed at the poet’s heart a
domesticated animal at best , to
ponder the “her” outside her
pronoun , how can we hear
better the rhythm of the beating
90
until it collapses in a wall of dust
, reading and re reading the homeric
tale as best we can , the ellipses
mysterious dodges the sea filling
the ear’s blind recess a , siren’s
song , what is “serious” begins
to expand in its own sky , what we
most revere , the women who own
most of the light we breathe , where
it goes in the utter life , where
the response is as her feet “lift
off” from suburb earth , a section
breaks off quietly exposing
sleep to its innermost fears or
what we gain , a mission statement
about the , apologies for the
mess we are almost always in , a
variable function of the zero is
its capacity to surrender the void ,
actually I have been hurting most
of the time , I have been having
this dream about the afterlife ,
a certain monument raises its
statue on the plinth of my tongue
or there is an abrasion , a form
the poem takes at first in the pale
not knowing which is its real color ,
which its own “sound” , which , is
space the vast and multiple beyond ,
and as soon as higher education begins
as soon as the quadrant with its
medieval , the gryphons who fly
like blinded angels into a mass
of perdition , I was meant to be
among them , meant to shudder at
the slightest touch of , contact
with “her” in a kind of music a
sort of idealized , watching the
regular street patterns fade into\
how immense is the after-structure
the almost blinding story after
imposing story reared into the cloudy
, affirmations so hard to come by
and the marginal hyphen with its
derelict implications , a movie house
or worse a , waking or seeming to
wake , who the girl next door really
91
is , how will it all come “down”
supposing it will , fractions of
gravity and light flying in all
directions toward especially a india
of massive runes , hypothetically we
are not , and cannot see as we are
meant to , nor hear the choirs ineffable
, mention this to a neighbor , to a
passer by , mention this to a tax
collector or to the vegetarian behind
the small watery reticulation , or
what is more likely to the traveler
wearing your disguise , “you have
been lived already” , cognition starts
much later in some shop where they
sell women’s wear , turn your head
and , “Kensington-High-Street”
, the windows flood with an orange light
what is meant to last , a ribbon
unravels around the railroad iron ,
a station or two down the line
and in descending order the persons
we assumed come to some kind of
headache , a dusty repose for just
a minute or so in “that” afternoon ,
hyacinth jasmine narcissus dogwood ,
in order to have sex must we be attracted
to each other ? in an adjacent
room they are erecting small tragedies
with french titles , the enactment
is both cruel and effacing , as often
as one gains the loss is greater still
, for example the case of the missing
diaphragm , a matter one never gets
over , really , the mirror is an indication
of , and beside the urn where remains
of achilles mingle with , a book
plate a marker with an egyptian
foil , an identity of regret , a
shadowy , a , why can we never
get it just once ? rightly thinking
the error only increases its lot
, blinking in a morning sun as
we step out of the tavern for ever
“gone” , such as are the moments
of a life ,
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
92
sectioned the tumultuous array
brides whiplash pendants blank
sockets where moving targets
this sky vision , a despair
spoken for at the altar or beside
the grammar book , the purplish
colored one with gilt letters
on the spine reading “
“ along the shore
grieving the myrmidons (don’t
cry for me “argentina”) !
wearing cashmere sweaters gloves
a fringed hand reading from left
to aright the massed collisions
whosoever peers through this glass
who sees into the depths of a
history’s fractured city its
(the house of colonna reared
on the tiber’s sluggish bank)
byways loosely in the detritus
a murky evening in theaters
spent looking for the light ,
midden heaps through which we
the purloined letter the gasworks
left open as a new planet
descried for the first time a
lens shatters turning red and green
the blue litmus paper discharged
in the faint flame to discern
the glyphs of her name , a dying
second time perhaps a lantern
over the ruins of athens this
noble music in its weathered fane
which is now more like a railroad
station or a baedeker indication
where once the imperial baths the
sepulcher an ancient parchment
dried characters as night draws
which direction it takes to end
the finish line marked in bright
red chalk meant to dissolves and
re appears in later re incarnations
as a gubbio tablet or ochre defined
as death’s ultimate shade , mere
bride’s girlhood masked etruscan
flares in depths of , steps ever
lightly over hedges of primrose
93
a salutary embrace in euxine
dialect or puzzled as to persian
hand wear the diptych fears fade
glowing less as eventides merged
porphyry hovering at an angle
more to the left of syntax than
had feared she would flee and she
did , leaving me anxious and
troubled in the sleet of michigan
avenue no cabin into which
withdraw the letters and latch
hastening to reveal nothing in
ink neither in china nor script
legally dead in the morpheme of
despair’s early rite , later I
will refer to it as the “piltdown
period” of my so called life
a weary praxis in folded paper
industrial blue and whatever
else you might call it chivalric
it ain’t , how often we miss
the drizzle the accidental
verb charts the ancient des
criptions of “up country”
the yes enigmatic iota sub
script and the lesser deities
channeled into a mental cloaca
somewhere south of cinecitt`a ,
who will guess that I have always
been wrong or wronged , paired
to a vision of beatific white
oxen grazing on a parnassan slope
while a dreaming hill murmur
erodes the ear with unearthly
rumor that persephone’s afoot
again in those fleet daisy colored
sandals flowers burning miasma
an orient a sop to cerberus
berenice’s lock arpeggione
the indefinable ?
“sky—when I looked again
it was just a bunch of nouns
strung together” islands
cut off from their moorings
like nameless clouds gauzy
afloat in the endless cobalt
azure imperial porphyry gilt
94
neon asbestos
“when I fall in love /
it will be forever”
the shape of air loses color
the closer you get from its
distance
or the next ceremony which is
“death” links to
the nether and other worlds of
the “beyond” that mysterious
shivering you get when you
open the window and there
‘s something “there”
cannot identify mysterious
her was a such a “presence”
ghostly shades of pale
multiple hues of blank
the hair do piled up
so you could see the nape
of her neck and the tip
of the sinuous vertebral column
a section without demand
cut up the water
end the part about “true love”
with a report on ovarian cancer
esp. as it occurs in the
attributed to lady Murasaki
or else when the page fails
to turn and the illusionist’
s spell is on us a variety
of reasons as to why I
had that “affair” but none
less applicable than it was
necessary and night was
drawing its rosy death into
port , a stagnant water easily
put the knife to the center
taking the liquid core out
a philosophical transgression
about the , otherwise I am
about to encounter the “truth”
with its manipulable handles
or the way she cross-sectioned
paint on her fingernails
it seemed like a canvas of
space with all its massive star
clusterfucks amaze shining
95
a vivid moment when I had to
choose between legality and
mortality , spinning a light
through it as if the way
awnings collapse and shadows
scatter into a noon of eerie
concentrated my attention on
the way she sang those dumb
rolling stone lyrics , visuals
adumbrated through the iris
and the cars kept speeding
her spectra taking me with
an amnesia case , if , ponder
the italian word “smemorato”
brings to mind the white chill
‘s oblivion of , irate with
the gods for having done ,
played this trick on us , apollo
zeus hera artemis (diana!) ,
golden age , trying to hear
the music better through a
lost diaphragm , a lock of
hair wisps , an unwritten
“novel” penned in a sequence
of green spiral bound notebooks
fifty odd lines to the page
in crabbed black ball point ink
ca. 1968 , or what seems like
“light” but isn’t really a
fraction of grass glimpsed
in the dark , a , ponder
also what little is kept ,
what else is leftover , a
section of water in the cupped
palm of her hand , “her hand”
, leaves of a thin indistinct
, a poem written the night of
a less than full moon , a lapping
waters of hyphenated reeds a
rush in the left ear , it’s
over ? it will be best to
be discreet at times , setting
the typefont early in the morning
before the birds’ song a , alba
“diotima” what memory can ever
bring anything back SMEMORATO
like the time you slipped into a
96
little water and waved a frond
of longing with its small
white syllables at me ,
? , or later afterwards
realizing that loss of memory is
better than this wading though
shoals of myth the blind
swimmer’s brief pornography
of breath likens us to the
supreme love the alto saxo
phone enunciates so brilliantly
or so it seem(ed) , a water
cut into even smaller portions
and divided among the remaining
creates a sequence of triads
among the otherwise unidentifiable
gods racing maverick like
into a thick sumerian clay
, if you turn to the back of
the book you will recognize in
the faded black and white photos
underlined with a prussian device
the blackboard where we first
learned to conjugate , it seemed
and was so “simple” then hapax
legomenon to the contrary , a white
backside an evening in pearl
a fading muffs bluffed in fogs
of ancient sienna brownish a
sort of red that stains “her”
hair even as the music , who
was that orestes type in the garden
whistling so off key any way ?
I will probably number the
various parts the sections the para
graphs of water using a subtle
vermilion key the kind employed
by the hagiographers of the t’ang
, and if that doesn’t work make
appeal to the bhikkhus of longing
for just a slender part of their
immemorial history preached in
lotus and palm leaf ,
or make less than nothing of “it”
a solitude of pale and ,
whitest decomposition lunar halo
breathless “frozen” trek
97
to “make believe” where girl friend
dwells forever in her ice cream
and what began as a complex orgasm
soon becomes a portion of sky , or
water bisected and delivered to
the heathen in a temporary hell
just below the tin compound ,
poetry and the lyric “set”
her hair a spray of
wash and tonic the gel perms
frequently I have these “bad”
thoughts about her I have to get
up and wash my [censored]
in what is now iran they used
burn rubber up the slope towards
a parnassus of sorts , linked
phraseology or gnosis a tanked up
and sent spinning wheels first
into a ditch of despond , earlier
letters indicate associations
with the ionians before the great
migrations across the sea to
the girt cities of crete and where
a dog aloof and alone baying
for a lost “master” a situation
rectified it seems more aerial
a distance that cannot be breached a
solemn and the remote darkening
hill toward which we grope
before the last season sets in
with its cluster of blank stars
we will never be able to read aright
the original composition
or a “dirty” book and the sections
about , almost mis interpreted
as usual and the light scuds
dimming its , rooms missed as
chance strays , night’s cryptic
awning a shambles at whose feet
, pray a part goes to the right cloud
a rain fall disturbs whose sleep a
drawing of her intimate “features”
occludes the propriety of our human
mission , ! , stumbles down the
subway stairs a wet night in april
a volume in each pocket of mythology
and gore a pitied by charwomen
98
or emptied of style his half drawn face
a light full of fist and words
trickling out either ear the coat’s
job is to hold together the infirmity
of sounds even as sleep’s dusty
rim recedes into a field of water
below which read “marginless light”
and ancient forms half visible
half of darkness where flowering
moons radiate a language of mud
and in the middle of the chapter
about the evening out of the depth
behold! the lowest speaker in his
bulk of hash and spite imitating a
verbigratia virgil in an epic ,
rainpatters shhh , can’t ‘ear so
good the future’s half eaten by
the consonants surrounding “omega”
and the sun’s brief spell cast o’er
the upended pyramid of , sphinx’s
upper lip battered a crust of
hieroglyphic hematite meant to re
semble the mona lisa so called
, halves echo their other sounds
as falling from grace the body’s
a way of signaling , doncha think ?
like the pantheon of elephants
crashing silently off the peninsula
of invisibility , conscience , ponder
, “pick up the pieces” (average white
band) , brush the self off and apply
for job easily a monday to remember ,
often what is recalled a session
darklisted and spun out into a space
more remote than most he meanders
in a paragraph not of his own liking
until suitable to be wed again ,
her walks in , wipe the sweat off
the statues and repaint the grass a
softer green elevated by legend
into mnemosyne’s ear , park where
paradise is persian for , an abstract
painting of the exactly what cannot
be identified with an earlier form
of script , tattoos , til this
day us parts , vermilion , chrome
, a hazard of air in which noon’
99
s unbuoyed planets hover dangerous
and , the nymph echo in her europe
of amphetamine and , pale , ascendant
mirage wavering shimmer a shining
white , yes white , a , to be able
to follow “her” into the ,
the ,
100
fragments of rag drape the soul’
s skinny rib cage , soon what will
be known , beloved , as the moment
of instamatic reconditioning
a pattern doubled over and over
and folded neatly into the interstice
known as the “paragraph of love”
heaps scorn on the lines in between
on the effigies in melting wax
of beatrice and laura , pretending
adolescence is the time of Revelation
, circling a concupiscent noon
with a dozen spains each more
albescent than the previous aspirin
taken and then freezes the brow
in a dazzling moment of cognition
before taking the knees by their
dark nerve a , resounding roar
of an army of water , micrometers
of ancient verse difficult to trans
duce wavering salty deliquescent
the words partake of their own blood
relaxing the final syllables in an
amorphous effort at pleasure supreme
, her ankles then her “unmentionable”
shatters rendering echo itself deaf
such as are the songs of , another
block past 8th avenue where the greeks
still gather waiting for the fleet
and that mysterious buzz like
a green hyphen , I am disturbed “little
mother” and can no more , vast
quadrants of ice darkening as the
afternoon takes on its role of Medea
, looking in the flashing subway
windows for a face to identify
in order to feel “established” again
, the nacre gives way to a pulse
faint as are the myrmidons in their
multiple death , what is this
V A S T a
hewn from immemorial
the obits list in no particular order
the demise of hundreds of “heroes”
lost fighting for the wrong side
the blind king Dhritarashtra tragic
a density cannot fill his aching
101
swoons on the margins a gathered cloth
drapes a remaining word , sighs suppurated
over the gulf of tonkin like oil
enormous and , doomed to this
a internecine strife and fratricide
clouds of a deadly orange mushroom
and the seas boil in a quantity
not hitherto imagined , steady
like the clicking railroad wheels
processing the , whose final
resting place may be just over the
hill in a junction of furious
hendecasyllables , the poet virgil
slowly dissolving in a neapolitan ash
known as sannazaro’s dream ,
I am witless in my glass , a whole
day passes its lethal ribbon
through and around my heart ,
may I know Thee , beloved ?
ink , if delivered, ponder ,
other , wise the , so , amalgam
with complex , orgasm , a sky
which , is , a torn , breast
, naked pictures with a , key
, or fortuitous , shelly in
rome , abysmal headache because
of spear in , groin , kamikaze
of love , a round shell like ,
object , pierces , to the ,
root , a man like “that”
else , whosever perceives in
the rain a country of his own
choosing , whosoever adopts for
the , self, long slender ,
inserted in a dream , smooth
thighs , the opposite , a , girl
pulling at my , ties to the other
, life , sections a , part falling
, we will not recognize , a city
built on a thousand foils of
onion skin , cimmerians , hyper
boreans , tocharians , texts A
& B , buddhist aryan port
folio , a numbing , like a
tooth , aches, what afternoon
in time is this , anyway ?
long hot drowsy meandering ,
102
glossy photos of a , stream up to
her breasts , in water ,
we are allowed only so much
money in heaven , as I prepare
for the , poetry reading , one
mid day in hell , the bronze
things dangling , in a trice the
whole of , life passes , like
that between , the grassy
knolls , the western hills the
song about , mmm , faintly
disturbing the moon’s blood
red appearance , a leftward
glance from angel proves , lust
, addicted to windows , to shops
where they sell , lace and other
paraphernalia , adornments of
the putative sex , complex
orgasm , so going in cycles ,
up and down the “numbered”
avenues , looking for that
romanian “slut” , a black hair
piece , a doctor’s thesis on
eminescu and petrarch , brick
dust , fabric of pale , her
skin , radio voices warn ! ,
get out alive ?
other torn , aspects and the
envelope , undeliverable , for
whose sake , derogations , a
piece of , meat , a soft , some
dead , inert the rose , in
its iota subscript , a frag
ment , the very , say it in
sumerian ! , “dusty molecular
taurus” , red shift , quasar
s , reeds , the thin turn ,
her waist two thousand years ,
ago , fractions , intellect ,
d’amore , as more dust piles ,
burning hedges , rows of margin
less , idiomatic expression ,
about one’s “mother” , not
to be used , honorific pro
nouns , like “turning
japanese”, wouldn’t you rather
, ? , an evening in old ,
103
mumbai movie house , passions
grown cold , grammar of illusion
, tundra , the very word , a
spine , followed by a licit re
action , some brain trauma ,
lesions to the memory , cycles
heaped in a bin , tin , azimuth
, stars gathered , labyrinthine
, the talk is of “black holes”
, of lines of accretion , of
heat traveling at masses of ,
kinetic , irreverent , down
right hostile , street theater
, melt down , a dream within
the dream , stalin suffocating
in dialect , for whosever taketh
a life , a biblical flame ,
issues , forth , a , angel “israel”
improper in black , her gushing
out a confession , just like
that , police condemn irregularity
, placing one blue tile , over
the right eye , and one ,
whatever you choose it to be ,
a dialogue between principles ,
septuagint in red vellum , vulgata
in green , across the street ,
from , brooklyn academy of music ,
guessing where to place ,
tonic accent , neutral tone ,
the restaurant where mysteriously
no one ever dined , a mirror in
obverse , a glove exactly like the
one , a puppet show in javanese
about vishnu avatar rama , a
row of indefinable silence a
, the rumanian restaurant
in mid town , expect to hear
random gun shots , thick white
linen , the ghoul in mufti pouring
deadly white wine , a , vein
throbbing insanely , the poet
eminescu “mad” , like so many
others , some kind of venereal ,
problem , I hope to meet “her”
again in an afterworld , her radio
activities undocumented , a slope
104
facing south , enigmas going dot
dot dot , greek versions , hyacinth
, jasmine , unnamed purple flower
, connections to the river styx ,
a border of dogwood , and , a
brooding neighbor , narcissus ,
poppies in turkish , a urdu day
laborer dying of “love” , Radha
going to temple all naked , mud
, infernal gauze caught on the limb
, I am “mad” to have “her” ,
but never will , meat house ,
illusions and maze , concrete
suddenly flies up , forced pages
of , syllables , holland tunnel
looking for hoboken exit , a
, meal at a time , seeming small ,
vicious in her reverse wings ,
stillness in japanese tea garden ,
kites , a whole wind , the world
fall down , yellow as in the
silk of the sky’s utter flags ,
whom we will kiss by nightfall ,
who shall remain unnamed , whosoever
toucheth the unmentionable , who
? [translated from the romanian
by ]
finish epic , never on time ,
hair’s length , a spear , a thigh
shattered in , champagne in the
morning with one’s favorite con
cubine , already noon’s gauzy heat
lost splendor , a vision between
gray hemispheres of irrecuperable ,
but sanity ? never and the
closing phrases near the phone ,
or the quote from hesiod about
“gaia” , somehow stunned wandering
through the eclipse in the city
of man , for whom the poem is
this intended ? for whosever
deigneth not to score , for
a flesh meal , a siren sound ,
ambulance of meat descending at
millimeters into the heat of
, time’s outer proportion scaled
and the left writhing , a staring
105
into the naked , a window flies
open revealing a preponderancy
of , “manhatta” after the sun ,
in the photo taken at the “plaza”
that sunday in greek the one from
the right could be , me , in italian
the way you say “mother” is with
open vowels , hush , not a sound ,
darker than pale a hesitation becomes
round , a symphonic echo embedded
in concrete , like the shadow
of narcissus in atomic melt ,
floral patterns , Rohini in yellow
Yashoda with a necklace of pearl ,
Radha drying baby Krishna’s lips ,
each the other in red swirl and
paramount picture frame , steps
of new york public library ,
weaving the sound of his flute ,
automatic re conditioning , a
buddha type painted large on the
subway wall , dripping in the eaves
a furious whispering , “we gotta
get outta this place” , flash for
ward to a mansion in the maze ,
for every window there’s a
soul , for every soul lacks a
story , for whosoever plungeth
a hand into the mire , and sobbing
dies , a heroine dressed up as
a hindu neophyte , the paint drawing
down her , and a substantial
amount of “dope” found on her person ,
empty now the , button , and
ponder the , cave images super
real and with religious , over
tones a harmonium , a gypsy
tent battered by the wind ,
a saffron robe wrapped around the
invisible entity at the door ,
how will we ever really under
stand ? committed to the pro
position that , a ponder , weight
s gathered around either temple ,
and ready to jump into , roiling
waters of , as if the gods can
or cannot , subdivided by zero ,
106
‘s fate is of no consequence , a
fiction clad in skin and smoking
an expensive cigarette , and to
think , calling on the “prophet”
not for salvation but for advice
? , what a scandal in the oriental
division , the girl in shorts and
topless in the stacks , a cursive
form of writing , palm leaf script ,
curlicues and the abacus , in darkness
and in blight , to harm and to heal
, til day’s doom is part , the movie
version shows the spot light on ,
him , the other of “me” , dwindling
in his religion of fired brick , a
, dionysian “sort” ready for a job
with the musical opposite(s) ,
fractured and indulged as a rhymester
, a hack , a legions like “him” ,
in the employ of “inspiration” ,
a footnote to the vast waters of ,
a less than honorable mention , a
, rather when I think of his imaginary
girl friends , the eye is trained to
“see” into the beyond , the mind’s
tackling is confusion , a signal
from the sun , some letters about
the moon in berlitz , phonetic
decay at its worst in a storm ,
whose face that was disappearing
around the corner , whose emblem
and heart , whose minute details about
the , a prospective pale in blanch
about to , withering fossils in
the eye , lamp black , as far
back as we can go the sea , always
the same in its bed , exactly who
ulysses “is” , in his meander ,
and phosphate glowing below a surface
, that awful summer of the brain
tumor and , a detective story about
the etymological development, we read
the same text in as many different versions
as we are persons ! , wanting and not
getting , getting and not desiring ,
the ambulance driver took the wrong
turn , a red flashing before , shifts
107
into ultraviolet , space is as usual
a blank tonight , mmm , asterisks and
the hiatus in its green phase , a map
of london before the fire , a section
so beautiful in its cinematographic
moment that , I am forever indebted to
the mask that wrote this poem , a
or maybe two hours of “hell” just
waiting in that office , for some
kind of confirmation , it was the
turkish doctor assuring quality of
“life” , dumbfounded in the isolation
ward , loving and not returning ,
giving and not having , being and
not “seeing” , as how many have gone
before so how few will follow after ,
the again-sight of last-sense , a
borrowing is not believing , the “
mater” perpetua of all reason , green
is not pale , I am writing to you
in the hopes that you will see fit to
publish this item written in cramped
left hand in the intensive care unit
of a major metropolitan hospital ,
previous credits include a stint
in the , as well as fondling an
intern in the basement of a lesser
, to have seen just once the “Master”
on his stairs craving for that one
last cigarette before surrendering ,
dante was the informer , how is it
that what was has all passed so ,
rapidly , tormented by the maze
of lies one has fallen into , a
deictic mess to say the least ,
windows one is afraid to approach ,
lest “she” , a death’s head at the
tip , striations of a lesser hue ,
followed by a sequential orient
padded rooms a quarter of a moon ,
hydra’s mouth baying to drive one
mad , leaf through the last pages
first , usually find a clue as to
what , apollo afraid to touch human
skin , a song , this is not a temporary
derangement but the full blossom
white and poisonous , peligro ,
108
how one comes out of it , if at all
, or confused by the playwrights with
dionysos , an exchange of wreathes ,
ivy and laurel , the darker green
stands for betrayal , the lighter
shade for a form of “reunion” ,
though neither totally satisfies ,
a sense of the miasma impending the
return of the armed forces from the
hellespont , I am never sure when
it is right to consult the telephone
directory , but if it means bringing
“her” back home , a nominal regression
that disguises the latent cancer ,
“bodas de sangre” , time past in time
present , absence , whiter pales into
a final hue shading ink into its formal
abyss , fading is not the same as dying ,
as living no longer equals breathing ,
remonstrances in flight , out the window
eclipsed a buddha shape becoming form
less , chattering in sub dialect the
hominids of warning , diseases toll
shaking from limb to limb the body’s
frail intent , echoing a belief that
life is the same as death , that
life is the same as
breath e c h o e s
and what follows , a direction beyond
hills of soft purple of dun colored
, love was like that , assemblage
of distance and fading , mistaken
envelopes , hair snipped off by a
silver code , went into remission ,
folded over and doubled and taken ,
to ashes and diamonds ,
we’re all just passengers
darkening in the strangeness of night
, absurdities in question , other
side of glass where rushing a green
takes up swaths of blank , hush ,
into the starry heights , who else
will look away , the rest is a vast ,
reminder that the gods don’t “care”
, apollo and diana in their white
marble distance no map contains ,
a spear centers in man’s flank , a
109
dearth of hope , seas deepening
their inch of death with each new
light , gone out , held my breath
, but it didn’t go away , only
diminishing lessening growing more
dim , and , absolute “bottom”
before a man goes up , again ,
is that to hope ? but fails in
the never knowing , a green pattern
assumes so much intellect , after
all , and the simplest thing is
still only a fragment , the whole
is what eludes the , depths of
concern , the what is outside in
the , lurking for a , ponder this ,
then , the ambitious epicycle about
the lunar , diagrams cannot explain
what really happened , except that
the telephone seemed to play a
role , and the aspirin flooding
the night sky with that hallucinatory
indention at the end , right side
up it looks familiar , but turned
to the left what is almost visible ,
a childhood’s end , a blank , an
eruption of red that tips over ,
chalk circles dizzying spread
out like a second water over the
field , folded and pressed carefully
into an envelope that otherwise
could only contain some hair ,
soon we will be aloft taking a
larger part of memory , the rest
is back “there” blackening , ‘neath
the willows and fading poplars ,
someone will appear “official”
and given the keys , a car will
drive carelessly down oregon street ,
or then again a rain storm just
on the other side of the glass ,
a perpetual motion arrow , or a
filter through which sleep is drained
ever so thin and , the “boy” looks
just like his “doppel” , don’t he ?
I am connected to almost nothing ,
some mornings just wanna hide ,
the way things turn out is usually
110
, for the worse , a thickening of
the plot , some cranberry colored
trimmings around the western border,
an orange section that just explode
s ! , while in the glen down there
around the disguised brook a monk ,
brooding cross-legged assumes a
dead buddha look , an honorable
mention is never quite sure , silver
argues over rust , a perception
brings one narrower to the “real”
, who will borrow the transept ?
who will ask the giver not to freeze
? who will question the glove
for its non descript content ?
basically no one , at the other
end of the continent they are pre
paring to bury the automobile parts
with the driver who ignored them ,
it is a long way to the drug store ,
it is even farther to the designation
for “plenitude” , puzzled we are
no wonder , the text jammed into
the inside pocket is about “deliverance”
, ages pass in a slip of the tongue ,
argent is a melody , masks replace
the probable with a sybilline property
, I am not about these gardens , have
not sown the rye in time , have
ordered the fundament out of line ,
cannot assure the next season’
s deathly rhyme , a , before we
agree let us have some dark , wine
is best before noon , a harrowing
at the bridge entrance , reminder
that the passage is always fatal ,
“don’t look back” , they all say ,
but then they have removed their eye
pieces , a frame , a second frame
, it all “fritters” away , cheap
episodes with any one who will
listen , who will be “there” , who
will linguistically concur , that
can be a feminine subscription ,
in black with carbon copy , still
less legible is the part about
the “job” , as all deceptions are ,
111
no clarification just the somber note
posted below the water mark , you know
what “that” means , sunk under by
life’s relentless , the lurking hall
ways and the messenger on his defunct
horse , parenthetical asides about
poor work performance , not enough
attention to detail , doesn’t take
the effort seriously , the grand
et cetera that wipes us all out ,
sundays in a bath of rose wine and
confusion , skin peels off so easily
like , a “white idea” , thinning
sections of the , a call from the
cancer ward , what dies in the
heart “flores de maria” , to end
it all , a paragraph in which
continents fix on their routine
, great constellations in a red
shift “die” , if are others ,
re born in this poor mortal cloth
, hemiplegia , massive brain trauma ,
a leg brace to support the left ,
poor swallowing mechanism , what
is remaining , a light fixture that
won’t go “off” , flores de maria ?
obsession begins to trace its whirlwind
in the small pattern on the radio ,
searching in the filter of cold
white wine a , suburban plasma
or a 1985 toyota , or the right
one damaged as well , nothing seems
to work , you try to get better ,
to reason with the “ghost” , to
re try the winding thing , at the
top of the stairs a mother-type
consumed by her cigarette , in
the bellows you hear a familiar
voice , a telegraph or an edict
in early symphonic prose , ponder
, how you write and re write
the same poem , vallejo and lorca
, frequent hospitalizations in
german with an adjunct in ,
lose all contact with the source ,
feel rubbing on the spine a
night , windows fail to conjecture ,
112
doors swing the opposite direction
, nothing is intended to “mean” ,
a “white idea” again , this time
with red hair and a , the year
of the piano , youth adumbrating
in a file of smoke and writhing ,
her stockings wrapped tightly around
the thought , about them , about
the music in its plumes of red and
blue litmus , a new planet looms
temporarily into view , a suggestion
from the berlitz group , to sit
down and seriously do sanskrit ,
to get “religion” , how can we
have been so opaque ?
“… that poetry should be suspended
by a hallucinatory beauty …”
who was at the door , or who that
was throwing gravel at the kitchen
window , or what air of malignancy
wrapped around the hiatus , beneath
the floorboards a secret map , a
clue to “that” goddess , a bone
text deciphered in the month of
highest , moons in saffron slowly
rounding the curve of consciousness
, each of us , that is , levitating
towards that summit of disregard ,
a cold that takes us by the knees ,
flung face forward into Paradiso ,
unasked and the unkempt , the haggard
in the mirror with her wisps , of ,
invisible summers in rented rooms ,
a threadbare glass , some shattered
, china ware turning blue a thin ,
asthmatic skeletons of girls ,
trying on hair , who will give
names to their proportions , who
is beside the self of the recording
industry , who will issue tickets
for the unheard music , a box within
a box , india ink , blossoms of
white paper , iridescent , a section
of air detaches revealing homophones
of blank tissue , segments performed
on the unnumbered violin , a mosaic
in the basket , hands without gloves
113
reaching for clouds , harrowing
a dream with inches of sulfur , when
we are re organized in the library ,
then we cease levitating , a poem
about the man within the woman ,
is wanting context , a variation
of crimson , enigma , persian stains
around the yellow whorls , indexes
pointing to the grammar of the left hand
, a telegraph years in the making ,
and ascribed to a certain mozart ,
the law issues from the mouth of
a fish in the window , heads turn
to stare at something naked , proceeding
down walnut street , make a right at
the next green semaphore , it makes
more sense of you add a “mu” , why
it goes on , in the regulation of dust
, why it persists beside the mulch ,
why this was a man , the result of
an orgasm in mexico , makes more
sense if you subtract a “mu” ,
goes on , persists , ponder , dust
which is an attitude , re commence
the great “reading” before the ,
burning , the illegible consensus ,
the even more immense distances ,
the conflagrations beyond scheme “red”
when even the infinite particles
, a radio message says “transfer
mu” , in her analphabetic white
stockings and spit , in her cata
strophic twelve tone , in whose
eyes green cataracts “resound” !
the thrust is usually towards imitation
, towards the cigarette of oblivion ,
towards a surrealism of conjunct
consonants , whatever hemisphere
yellow takes as a legend , wherever
the letter “N” goes , if a sigma
is the right answer , blows , it
all just blows , into the “blue” ,
there were other red heads , there
were the ones with isolation for
a principle , with a second nature
, like a forest fire , with huge
cloud puffs billowing , a dream
114
in stanzas of vermilion and ivory ,
if we could read that script ,
with ease , where nothing else
matters , a career in “music”
, substituting the sense of it with
a “mu” , soon , come crashing
hegemonies of beryl and onyx , cliffside
patterns of rushing flowers
in wild blue and topaz , I told
you , I did , watching the sea’s
vast nothingness come roaring at
the baseline , here camped once
the myrmidons , and over there
below the purple tamarisk and sedge ,
holy for their dense green ,
surrounding the heroes with in
visible skirts, the “apsaras”
the dancing ones , for a chalice
of amrta , after which nothing really
, mattered , once , now shades
go into oblivion , and oblivion
becomes its own excuse , won’t
You ? rescind “mu” , request a
transcript , science and intelligence
have nothing to do with “love” ,
open the door to irregularity ,
a vast celestial yawning , white
perimeter announces a final day ,
sorrow and grief commingled , embrace
“me” , who dares say , speaking
of dialects and their survival ,
small hills , greenish mounds
of turf , a demesne where royal
stags meander , lesser words that
stand for “what-has-gone-on-before-
and-can-never-return” , that day
in the hospital when I looked
at the brown increase beneath your
nails , I knew , you were afraid ,
nothing to do with “love” ,
planetary cycles give me a head
ache , or to refer to the stanza
where cobalt becomes electric , a
management of the senses is “denial”
, roses wither , windows fade ,
night’s enormous toxic substance
at first a sort of purple , pales
115
into alba’s small fist , why will
they not give us our “due” , ?
omega which is the godhead , omicron
which is a watch dial , we go
over the same lessons repeatedly ,
until death wishes a part , if
there is an aside , whispers in
the plate glass , a worm of intent
, a splinter in the pupil of the
discerning eye , a critical remark
before the rush to blank , whoosh
, tides take us out , a lonely
hand , to be able to write like
“that” , using nothing but the
fog and ink of longing , some
thing else is missing , the next
to the last letter of the alpha ,
mother , her small room like a
, glove , darkness fold Me ,
the pale western versions of Night
intense a , then nothing else
a round the water , below the
air’s long paragraph , beside a
fragment of epic earth , dead
heroes gnawed by a myrmidon of
conscience , steeped in lakes
of lore , a vedic transcript
surfaces , begins here the so
called saturday afternoons in
the upanishads , a shift from
mater dolorosa “red” , towards
the already blankening vista
of father’s vast and now dusky
corpse , “blue” , which is neo
greek for “ponder” , Mavros and
his Eurydike , through what long
galleries of shadowy , configuration
of mythic miners puzzled in their
obscure water , then back again
to the pop song on the radio ,
the one that transfigures the
hour’s night , “frozen” , the other
of Proseprina in her flashy red
kimono , spoken in a swift form
of modern urban latin , whose
rushing ambulance races into
oblivion’s smallest water , a
116
famished , some one beckons ,
tracing letters on an obverse of
tinfoil , “madonna trafitta” , a
second later and no one is there ,
night’s dense and indecipherable
colophon , beyond the electronic
gesture to navigate , beyond the
unjustifiable spirals of nebulous
anti matter , beyond the minute
icon of light , aggravation of
incipient intelligence, the absurd
in all its recondite hollows of
incommensurability , whispers and
fading stains , traffic of slowly
disappearing cloudwork , towards
the “beyond” , beyond the “echo”
of invention , petty strutting gods
in their impolite stammer , index
of fuschia and carmine , city state
of the perishable lexicon , I saw
standing as a giant among men the
Areopagite , an immense dust and
nothing more , issues , former ,
the tangled mass of words just
before they come into use , a
reality of conjunctions “shining”
, “this” is what is over here ,
“that” is an impossibility , “but”
is an impoverishment , to lose
suddenly all employ of reason and
go plunging into the fret of madness ,
red black and green all become
“blond” , the dream’s strange
microphone decrees a code blue ,
the twisted wreckage below the
margin , ponder , the body parts
out of line , chalk swirling in
thick clots just inches above ,
orgasm , to explore the possibilities
of “liquid” , green unfolding in
the eye’s vast interior , as if
to make a lunar affirmation , a
tropical dissolution in berlitz ,
there hard by eastern slope ,a white
bullock becoming crimson , an ex
pectation that the “myth” will
right itself , burrowed in a
117
sleep of “mu” , swoon of the aspirin
moon , tundras of desolation ,
“you’re an angel” , what I am
about is the destruction of liter
ature as , such , ! , wedded
to a kodachrome in silhouette
each hip the extension of europe
into its old bedlam , until what
surfaces neither asking for air
nor excepting some water , turmoil
on a stupendous scale (“vogue”) ,
P E L I G R O
I never wanna get married again
“ end of quote , rigamarole and
movies full of confusion concussion
contusion concession , her runs
away , her gets it in the end ,
he dies for her , he goes to Mumbai
talkie , he inspires to other life ,
her is a runabout , a gadabout , him
never was no good , wet back , mexi
can , her letters always come back ,
his address is never the same , I am
both of them , one and many , plural
is the same as death , endless “life”
why go on ? her is wet in undies , him
is goo goo eyes , take ‘em off , a
cries the crowd , dreams fade assuaged
by nothing , coleridge and sara naked
on the heath , one is as good as nothing
, really matters , in a violent kimono
and red shears , cutting the lace off
her breath , green is as pale as re union
, shapely in her underskin with a pink
valve turned “off” , before the next
scene starring her as a goddess in
tights , blackening eyes stared me
down , a water took me away , forever
, yellow surfaces on a wall of nylon ,
drenched in film , shaking her hair
over the stellar map , wet graces a
lip , but don’t kiss me again , marry
again ? after the last little white
house with its kitchenette and , motor
series in a breakdown of the nervous
system , ancestral fright , wearing
plasticine wigs of furious crimson ,
118
again is a complex “word” , try to under
stand how Radha felt , the world goes
away so easily , a drop of water ,
a jade pin , the pearl of her earlobe
bitten so tenderly , her is a fiend
and bloodsucker , her is ragazza ,
to remember one’s life requires
more distance than can be mustered
up within the given hour , we are
all in a miasma , him is a mistake a
, boor , “indrajit” , a muddy sequence
in broken promises , her wears a white
garland of unfadable , remember to
double the “s” , otherwise it just
remains a sum of long division ,
we want the mystery , heighten “it”
, tighten her , I am disturbed by the
sound of so many bells , anklets ,
bracelets , tinkling voices of
the nymphs in their campanile of
dense water , a green ringing ,
a pale resonance , a hue between
the sound of musk and , her is a
“deadbeat” , the ineffable in a
gown of white intransigence is at
the door , an odor of tropic rot
melon ripe and lush cankerous yellow
, wisps of spanish moss a , likeness
to vermilion altered by moonlight
, a grammar of unreason and total
madness , a , really nothing like
“it” , her is crashing to the floor
, death is ringing her little ,
blue and white paisley seer sucker
ornamental garb , but , Please ,
no more wedding dresses , not even
the kind of infinite filament ,
of course I‘m not kidding , silver
rust with a dash of heliotrope
carmine nervous breakdown , “border
line” , I wish I could recover ,
I wish sometimes I had a chance
to do it all over , but what the hell
, second chances never come , I
remain altered by this experience ,
by this strange birthright , by this
unutterable sentence , by this un
119
intended refrain , poetry is within
the realm of the unreasoning , who
have never gotten “straight” , a
line enters the eye and departs , a
willingness to suffer whatever horizon
, after a while there is nothing
you can do , just sit down with
the chart of irregular verbs , and
start memorizing , can never figure
which ones get the sigmatic aorist ,
look up again , the chill on the
glass imparts its egoless winter ,
no particular place
to “go”
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
seems odd to go by that “name”
to answer to a “personality”
that has been built up outside
of No-Mind , a contradiction
in terms , when green means
red , really , outer surfaces
of an orient ready to snow ,
whenever I dream of You
I see other things “sprouting”
, the small and blind budding
, sometimes I wonder it has
happened at all , first it was
summer with its involved gritty
skin , a song , then without
warning it was in a darkened
movie , sickness unto death ,
it wouldn’t matter if it was
some one else , but it isn’t ,
how “they” come to know thing
s about you , eerie , plate glass
formulary , driving slowly up
an unknown country road , who
will be the first to “die” ,
suddenly , a maze , or a radio
, eventually but you never really
get used to “it” , shape of leaves
outside the sick bay , color of
heat at the end of may , faces
that interrupt sleep , how is
it we are always so far a way ,
how is it ?
longing slips , shapes deny ,
120
frames no longer hold , how
is it ?
space intervenes between remote
, deaths apply by code , yellow
afternoons , by 5 o’clock mauve
, either there is a “fate”
in the disassembled tea leaves
, or there is “nothing” , a
crosslegged bonze grown fetid
with desire for , or the
severed top knot of the girl
in question , just sitting
“there” with the TV on , who
gather around in order to
forget , who disperse if
some thing is remembered ,
it goes stray wanders lost
who knows aerial
illusions for what is distant
is most at heart , the talking
is just “that” words scattered
in air , mouths , blindness
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
there is no afterwards
ivan arguelles
Berkeley CA
July 30, 2002
121
122