Vous êtes sur la page 1sur 7

Simanungkalit 1

Ferrin Simanungkalit
Professor Zack DePiero
Writing Project #1
14 October 2015
WP #1: #LoveWins
If you believe in God, then you must not encourage gay activity, said my cousin. As a
person that adopted the Christian lifestyle, I am put at a crossroads, as homosexuality is
considered bad in Christian values, although I have no problem with it. Same-sex marriage has
been a constant issue, and this concept has been a controversy that has gained the attention of

Zack De Piero 10/19/15 1:32 AM


Comment [1]: Wow, what a powerful
start! Religion, family, sexuality!

people all over the world for years now. Some people believe that marriage was made to be
between man and woman. Supporters of same-sex marriage believe that people should be able to
have the freedom of loving whomever they want. People in the middle of the spectrum do not
pay this issue any mind because it does not pertain to them and does not affect their lifestyle.
Regardless, people on any part of the spectrum have an opinion to voice on this issue, and they
usually turn to social media to do it. The way this issue is presented in these posts may influence
how the audience reacts to the post and absorbs the information. Social media posts--such as
Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram--show certain rhetoric elements and conventions that affect the
way a viewer sees same-sex marriage and may bring a positive light to the issue.
A literary genre contains a lot of rhetoric that combines various elements in hopes of
exposing a message that the author wants to promote through their written works. Written works
contain rhetoric elements that involve a situation, a message, and an audience. Literary genres
are not an unfamiliar concept and should not be examined as so. As genres are explored outside
of the academic world, it can be seen that something as simple as Instagram captions, tweets on

Zack De Piero 10/19/15 1:35 AM


Comment [2]: OK, I'm thinking you want
to be zeroing in on your genre and
sources pretty soon...
Zack De Piero 10/19/15 1:43 AM
Comment [3]: OK, great job here, Ferrin!
You got at the tension required for an
argument and addressed the "so what?"
question.
One thing I'm wondering is: what
conventions will I be reading about? By
knowing that information now, I'll be more
actively prepared and looking for it later
on.

Zack De Piero 10/19/15 1:45 AM


Comment [4]: I'd like to discourage you
from using "literary" unless you actually
mean relating to literature and fine art and
novels and such.
Zack De Piero 10/19/15 1:45 AM
Comment [5]: *textual* genre is more allencompassing.
Zack De Piero 10/19/15 1:47 AM
Comment [6]: OK there's a lot going on
here -- what are you hoping to accomplish
in/with this paragraph? Describe genre?
Whatever the answer is, consider laying
that out specifically in your topic sentence.

Simanungkalit 2

Twitter, and Facebook statuses and posts are a genre of their own and have their own
conventions and tones that set themselves apart from other literary forms. The three different
social media sites are all under one genre, despite the fact that they show different conventions to
evoke different emotions or perspectives.

Zack De Piero 10/19/15 1:49 AM


Comment [7]: Isn't this more suitable for
your intro? Didn't you already kinda "get
at" this?

Instagram is a site that incorporates visual and textual content to convey same-sex
marriage views. This site contains rhetoric because Instagram is the way we use languages and
images to persuade (Carroll, 46). As many celebrities get the word out about their views on
same-sex marriages, they take many things into consideration before posting. First thing that can
be considered, and may as well be the main factor in this, is the followers, or audience. With
such a vast following, these celebrities are able to influence audiences from all over the world.
Their followers may or may not agree with everything they say, so they must take that into

Zack De Piero 10/19/15 1:52 AM


Comment [8]: Well said!
Zack De Piero 10/19/15 1:52 AM
Comment [9]: Nice use of the readings,
Ferrin.
Zack De Piero 10/19/15 1:52 AM
Comment [10]: Steer clear of things in
academic writing (maybe even all writing!).
Its suuuuuuper vague. Academic writing
requires precision and specificitybe
direct and tell me exactly what youre
talking about.

consideration before posting. The tone of their caption may be soft-spoken and concise so that
the picture is the one that says a thousand words. As same-sex marriage can be a pressing issue,
celebrities want to post something that will bring awareness to their followers and educate them
without trying to offend anybody. For example, when same-sex marriage was legalized in all 50

Zack De Piero 10/19/15 1:53 AM


Comment [11]: Can you give me some
textual support/evidence so I can *see*
this?

states in July 9, 2015, many celebrities posted to celebrate this monumental shift in history.
On Instagram, public figures such as Sam Smith and Beyonc celebrated this event in
different ways. This site is pretty liberal in terms of use. The conventions in this site typically go
along the lines of a picture and a caption. People can post funny pictures, sad pictures, and
confusing pictures. The possibilities are endless for the most part. Beyonc posted a little snippet
of her 7/11 music video with the caption Never Too Late #LoveWins (Knowles, Never).
Beyonc may have posted something very simple and sweet knowing that her post alone is more
than enough for her followers to get the message. People that follow her tend to worship her and

Zack De Piero 10/19/15 1:54 AM


Comment [12]: OK, but can you relate
this back to your argument? How does it
fit in? Help me (your reader) make sense
of this.

Simanungkalit 3

support her stances in a lot of things, and this may as well be one of them. The short and simple
caption sets the tone for the flamboyant and lighthearted video being posted. As she is
celebrating this moment, she wants to show the audience that this event is fun and should not be
condemned. Sam Smith on the other hand, showed a picture of two men kissing, which might
have had some people feeling some type of discomfort. The caption under the picture further
elaborates on the picture posted. He wrote a mini-paragraph to celebrate his pride and joy for this
event. Since he is gay, his post might have been more sentimental and more thought-out

effective appeal if the rhetor has to persuade the audience in a very short amount of time

Zack De Piero 10/19/15 1:55 AM


Comment [13]: OK, so do IG and/or
other social media posts enable more of a
bottom-up, user-driven platform for the
(inter)exchange of views?

(Carroll, 53). His passion for the issue shows as he writes, We have such a long way to go and

Does that relate back to your topic and to


studying/breaking down genre?

compared to Beyoncs because he can relate to this issue more. He uses pathos because it very

so much more fighting to do (Smith, ALL 50). His involvement in this battle for equality has
given him a reason to speak out more about the issue and get his audience to listen to what he has
to say and put themselves in a different perspective.
The way a message is composed through Twitter may very well be different than that of
Instagram. Twitters 140-character limit may put a toll to what people have to say. People have
to say what they want to say quickly without any opportunity to elaborate on the issue. They can
post their long message through multiple consecutive tweets or through Twitlonger, but the
message will not be as effective. People on Twitter typically just want to be able to skip through
their timeline without having to think twice about anything. If the writer were to write their
message through consecutive tweets, it may get confusing, as tweets can get lost within other
tweets. Twitlonger requires the follower to click on an extended link, but who wants to do
that? The best way to get the word out through twitter is to make things short and sweet. Harry
Styles, for example, evokes his recognition of same-sex marriage legalization through a tweet

Simanungkalit 4

that says, Huge day for America.. Happy to see the news. All the love (Styles, Huge). This
tweet gets his message across in such a short amount of words. This may seem rather insincere,
though. Nothing is being elaborated on and the lack of emoticons or any further details may be

Zack De Piero 10/19/15 1:55 AM


Comment [14]: OK, great -- textual
evidence/support.
(Who is Harry Styles?)

taken as a robotic and forced tweet. No emotion is being evoked in this plain text format. The
lack of pathos may not persuade the reader to believe that Harry is actually happy to hear the
news, but the fact that it is Harry Styles may convince the readers that they, too, should support
the cause. His name instantly makes the tweet seem credible and authoritative through ethos
(Carroll, 54). His followers support whatever he supports because they might believe that he is a
good person that only supports good things, which may make them correlate same-sex marriage
to something that isnt bad as well.
Facebook is more unique than both Twitter and Instagram in different senses. Facebook
combines elements from both Instagram and Twitter that creates a portal in which friends and
family can gain a better understanding of ones views of an issue. In regards to the issue of samesex marriage, the user can post a picture alongside a caption or text post. Facebook allows for
users to write a message that can basically be as long as they want. Users such as Jacob Granado
posted something pertaining to same-sex marriage, as he is openly gay and speaks out about
issues that affect him. He writes, And also-a huge thank you to those friends with opposing
religious views that remained solid and strong enough in your faith to let a day as special as
today reign on. Nothings going to change-were all alright (Granado, And). He uses a tone
that is comforting and allows the audience to know that were all alright (Granado, And).
This may allow readers to believe that same-sex marriage is doing things to the world for the
better. More people are having the freedom to love whoever they please. The author can
elaborate on same-sex marriage views that they couldnt do on Twitter. There is no character

Zack De Piero 10/19/15 1:51 AM


Comment [15]: Ferrin, Im wondering if
your paper would benefit from restructuring the organization. Instead of
-Source #1
-Source #2
-Source #3
Could your paper/argument unfold a more
integrated/interwoven way if you did
something like:
-Idea #1 (and then incorporate sources 1,
2, 3)
-Idea #2 (and then incorporate sources 1,
2, 3)
-Idea #3 (and then incorporate sources 1,
2, 3)?

Simanungkalit 5

limit, so paragraphs are welcome to be posted. Since the audience on Facebook is usually
composed of friends and family, they may be more inclined on reading about the opinion that
one wants to voice. By posting something on Facebook, Jacob, like many other Facebook users,
open up freedom to discuss and allow for people to see things in a different perspective other
than their own.
Rhetoric elements make a written work what it is. The way an issue is presented with the
different social media sites can bring different types of awareness to the issue at hand, such as
same-sex marriage. Instagram lets the picture do the talking, but has some caption that may or
may not enhance the quality of the pictures message. Twitter keeps things short for those
looking for something simple and easy to read. Facebook is where emotions and opinions can be
broadcasted and discussed freely amongst friends and family for a more intimate conversation on
issues such as same-sex marriage. This genre of social media sites helps bring something that
may be difficult to understand through academic text into something more relatable. Because
many people use social media sites, rhetoric can be analyzed more in-depth because the reader is
the audience everyday and every time he or she goes on social media. The concept of genre is
important because it helps readers understand what persuades the consumer into believing
something that they may not have been able to otherwise. As same-sex marriage is an issue that
cannot be one-sided, the use of rhetoric in social media sites may persuade the reader to support
same-sex marriage more than before they were exposed to this genre.

Zack De Piero 10/19/15 1:56 AM


Comment [16]: This sounds like it could
work well early on in your paper....

Simanungkalit 6

Works Cited
Carroll, Laura Bolin. Backpacks vs. Briefcases. N.p.: Parlor, 2010. Writing Spaces.
Parlor Press, 2010. Web. 14 Oct. 2015.
Granado, Jacob. And also-a huge thank you to those friends with opposing religious
views that remained solid and strong enough in your faith to let a day as special as today
reign on. Nothings going to change-were all alright. Facebook. 27 June 2015. 14
October 2015.
Knowles, Beyonce. Never Too Late #LoveWins. Instagram, 01 July 2015. Photograph.
12 October 2015.
Smith, Sam. ALL 50 STATES. So Happy. Instagram. 26 June 2015. Photograph. 12
October 2015.
Styles, Harry (Harry_Styles). Huge day for America.. Happy to see the news. All the
love. 26 June 2015, 7:46 a.m. Tweet.

Simanungkalit 7

Writing 2 Feedback Matrix for WP1


Table of Textual Features
Did Not Meet
Expectations
Thesis Statement
Use of Textual Evidence
from Genres
Use of Course Readings
Analysis
Organization/Structure
Attention to
Genre/Conventions and
Rhetorical Factors
Sentence-level Clarity,
Mechanics, Flow
Other Comments

Met Expectations

Exceeded
Expectations

/ -
/ -

Ferrin,
Nice work here; it was a pleasure to read. :)
To get this paper to the next level, Id like you to consider
some of the deeper questions Ive asked you--specifically,
how these social media outlets/genres enable what you claim
they did in your argument, namely, bring a positive light to
the issue. Focusing more on that could make this an outtathe-park paper. :)
Also, did you include any evidence/analysis of FB posts? I
remember reading about IG and Twitter but not FB.
Again, though: super-solid job.
Z
9/10

Zack De Piero 10/19/15 1:43 AM


Comment [17]: OK, great job here,
Ferrin! You got at the tension required for
an argument and addressed the "so
what?" question.
One thing I'm wondering is: what
conventions will I be reading about? By
knowing that information now, I'll be more
actively prepared and looking for it later
on.