Hill 1

Jared Hill
Mrs. Scaife
Comp 1. 8:00
18 September 2015
Battling Tangled Emotions
In the course of my high school education, I became the perpetrator and also the victim of
what evolved into a mislead relationship between partners. It all began during my freshmen year
in high school, so I was fourteen at the time. I had just changed schools within the rural area of
Helena, Arkansas. Once at school, everything seemed calm, quaint, and of small, relative change,
especially since I had only moved to a school twenty minutes from my previous elementary
school. The point is that everything seemed fairly normal: the sound of a few cars passing on the
small, narrow streets, the smell of cotton and pollen in the air, and the overall sight of local
businesses and houses that I was familiar with. All seemed within the ordinary until I began to
make friends with a girl that would soon be considered as my first true girlfriend. She was
exceptionally beautiful with pearlescent brown eyes, sandy blonde hair, and a calm, soothing
voice. She was the whole package, until I realized she did not care for me in the same sense as I
had for her. I bought her expensive things, my family took her on trips, and I had flowers
delivered on her birthday. I did all that and more just for her to say, after dating a year and a half,
that we shouldn't be together because she felt we had nothing in common. I had no idea, but the
truth was that, we honestly did not have many things in common. This situation really hit home
for me in noticing that even though a relationship could produce a perfect atmosphere for one, it
may not evolve into the ideal relationship for the other. That being said the question comes forth

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to ask, "How does a person ever truly understand that they are being led-on during a relationship,
or if they are the one leading another person on?" The answer reigns out to be simple, honest
communication between partners.
Communication is the key objective in any relationship, and it unfortunately took me two
individual times with two different girls to realize that for myself. Thus, leads me to my next
short story when I became the one who was acting on the other side of the fence as the person
carrying the role of leading someone on. It happened approximately one year after my first
relationship when I fell a fool to going out with a girl that had liked me since the first day she
met me but I just did not have the same regard for her. I say the words, "Fell a fool", because that
is what I felt like once the situation was over. I had taken this girl to prom since I was no longer
going with my first girlfriend because I knew she wanted "us" to go. I was going alone anyway,
so we went and actually had a good time as "friends". The following week after prom, she asked
if I would like to go to the movies. Of course I honestly did not, but I did not want to seem rude
and tell her no or formulate a lie. In turn when Saturday arrived, after the whole week of
pondering with myself over the question, "Why did I say yes? we made way to the movies. The
whole night for me was horrendous; I did not want to be there, but I could tell she seemed to be
having a great time. I did not communicate or show my feelings. That following Sunday I could
not take the guilt any longer, so I texted her exactly how I felt, and finally, to an extent,
broadcasted what I was holding inside. She seemed indifferent with the news when she replied
back. Her response caused a tremendous lift of weight from my shoulders, but I still knew within
myself that she did not take the news well. I became disappointed with myself for allowing the
situation to occur, even if it was only over the course of a week. Is it that difficult to allow
communication to take control within a relationship? In some cases it can be in attempt to keep

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feelings from being hurt, rumors being spread, and egos being crushed, yet in the end hindsight
is twenty-twenty. The power that keeps individuals out of harms way emotionally is proper
communication.
The source I considered that would hold the most value of what individuals truly
considered about this topic was through a survey that I conducted. I carried out my survey
questions by posting them on the social media, Facebook. I thought this would provide the most
detailed descriptions of past experiences among individuals when confronting this typical
situation. Unfortunately, my survey resulted in the exact opposite; I received not one response to
my survey questions which consisted of only four short questions: Have you or someone you
know ever been caught up in a relationship in which you knew should not exist due to lack of
communication?, What did the person do to end the relationship, or did the person just let it
proceed to see where things went?, Were you or the person you know ever the one that was,
"taken for a ride", in a relationship out of your partner's self-pity? If so, how did you or the
person react/feel when they became aware of the truth? I made it clear that everything was
confidential and the answers could be sent to my message box to keep everything private.
Through all of that still no responses, and for that reason I formulated a conclusion that
most individuals are not open-minded about communicating personal emotions. This factual
evidence has been proven through not only through relationships, but also throughout simple
alternatives such as my survey. If lack of communication continues, it can evolve into the main
attribute for future divorce. This statement leads me to describe the evidence that I researched
through various web-sites that aided in my theory of communication as an extreme kill factor for
what could have been an intimate relationship.

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The first web address that targeted my topic was an article found on
www.yourtango.com. The article referenced an individual that had conducted a survey similar to
the one I had attempted that earned the facts of: "Lack of communication between partners in a
relationship caused, on average, sixty-five percent to terminate due to no orderly communication
had taken shape."(www.yourtango.com) This is absolutely the case. Communication should be
one of the easiest things to do in a relationship, but in reality it becomes one of the most difficult.
The number of "bad" relationships should not be anywhere near sixty-five percent, yet it is due to
the simple fact that we as human beings are just utterly not concerned with what others are
thinking, and just hide within ourselves when we have an issue. People do not express
themselves as they should which results in tangled feelings, pressured hopes, and tattered dreams
all due to individuals feeling it is not so simple to communicate with the person they are with.
The second web-address supported my purpose by providing a vast array of activities that
individuals practice daily in attempt to avoid conversation with their significant-other. The website was www.webmd.com. This article was conducted by, Elaine Fantle Shimberg, the author of
Blending Families; Elaine stated in the article that individuals cannot communicate by being on
their phone, looking at television, or flipping through a magazine. (www.webmd.com) This is
entirely true due to partners cannot have a heart-felt, vocal conversion if the other person is
caught up on the internet or their favorite show. Throughout these situations most times the
partner is just not interested in what the other is dishing out, so during this time the opposite
partner just relays what they believe the other wants to hear so the conversation will terminate.
This is not the proper way to handle the situation in any case, but it is a case that occurs often.
Individuals feel the conversation can wait but the text they just received cannot. Oh, if people
only knew how those precise actions greatly affects the future between partners.

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Those web-addresses were great reference tools to add primarily because they provided
forms of daily actions that occur that allows for lack of communication to run ramped in and out
of relationships. Those sources also aided in a real-life prospected of how serious lack of
communication can be not just in relationships but also in the workplace, school, and even
throughout society. If lack of communication occurs within a work or school environment
consequences can be highly significant by an employee being fired, a large corporation going
under, a school bully running the halls, or just the difficulty of getting ahead in the world.
Communication runs the world so let it take the place of that bully, debt over your head, or
partner that just won't cooperate, and use the voice you were given to get a valid point across to
anyone listening.
The next time you or anyone you know is caught up in a relationship that is doomed to
result in costly consequences; just speak up, use the voice that was given to you, and
communicate the problems you are seeing or feeling within your relationship. If proper
communication is brought to represent a priority in everyday life as well as intimate
relationships; people have far better odds of mending or replenishing friendship that was near to
being lost down the long, lost drainage of regret.

Works Cited Page

Billow, Rochelle. Want Your Marriage to Last? Yourtango.com. 13 Nov. 2013. Web. 2

Sept. 2015.

Sorgen, Carol. 7 Solutions that can Save a Relationship. WebMD.com. 26 Sept. 2013. Web.

2 Sept. 2015.

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