Inside my Mind: A Study of Self

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Inside my Mind: A Study of Self
Jamie Yates

Rochester Institute of Technology- Jenna Lenhardt

When one is told to reflect upon their personality two major types of people emerge. Some find it easy
to find strengths to boast about and have no problem doing so. Others note strengths and weaknesses,
but feel uncomfortable sharing what they think they are good at, and would rather mention the things
they believe need work. I like the think I am the latter. When proposed with a reflective self analysis
report I thought three things: I like to papers so this should be no problem, Oh goodness I hate
writing papers about myself that say I all over the place, and lastly, I have to depend on other people
to write stories for half of my content. These are the first thoughts I analyzed about myself. I
discovered that it is okay to have confidence and to be proud of your personal strengths as well as it is
okay to depend on others to look at you and tell you what they think.
A Study of What I Told Myself
When I first began to analyze my three thoughts, I noticed the irony in my pride. I know I am decent
writer and that papers often were easy to write in my other classes, but I was worried about sounding
prideful. I was unsure about how to combine both of these for a balanced paper. I decided to take the
approach of the boastful first personality and slowly edit and revise to sound more reflective and less
conceited as I believe that fits my personality more. I then listed my key strengths and weaknesses as
points I wanted to make sure to include in my paper. The first strength I wanted to address was my
confidence. The first two thoughts I had about this paper I think represent my confidence fairly well. I
recognize that I have strengths in many areas, and I am very confident in those things. However I am
often humble about these things because I grew up learning that it was not okay to boast but better to
praise others for their abilities. This type of confidence is not always noticed, but I think it is the best

Inside my Mind: A Study of Self

type. Recognizing what you are good at, but not self- proclaiming is important. Likewise, it is
important to build each others' confidence up.
The second strength I quickly realized doubled as a weakness: independence. This was illustrated by
my third thought. The idea that I potentially was dependent on other people for some of the content of
this essay in the form of stories about me made me sick with nerves. I contacted many people but only
4 returned with stories However the one person I was depending on most, my mom, only sent one and
it was skimpy in material at best. After pestering many people I finally had enough stories to reflect on.
I think this best shows my ability to be independent as well as my inability to be dependent on another
person. I like to take matters into my own hands and control a situation. This works well for many
things, but for projects with a large team aspect it can be a hindrance. One positive outcome my
independence has brought is the ability to maintain. If I was not independent I would not have an
apartment or be paying my own bills. My mother always taught me that being able to provide for
yourself is important. Now while I am good at taking point in the leadership, I find that because of my
inability to be dependent on others I am constantly checking in and micromanage others, making me
hard to work with. Like any strength it is important to balance the positive and negative aspects of all
strengths.
A Study of What People Tell Me
When it came time to ask others for their stories of my strengths I was not sure what I was going to get
back. Some themes I received were compassion, empathy, integrity, dedication, leadership, motivation,
courage and communication. One of my favorite stories that was passed on was from my youth leader.
He reminded me of the time I participated in a volunteer camp called Flower City Work Camp. A large
group of teens from Rochester youth groups came together for spring break to help rebuild homes
around Rochester as well as celebrate our faith. I enjoyed being able to help out, until on Wednesday I
fell down the stairs. I ended up tearing one of the three ligaments in my ankles and straining the other

Inside my Mind: A Study of Self

two. I had a golf ball on the outside of my black and blue ankle and was stuck in a wheelchair for a
month. I did not want to sit on the sidelines as I watched the new friends I made at my work site help
fix up the house of an older woman struggling with cancer. Instead of being confined to a wheelchair I
convinced my father to help me find a set of crutches and continued to work. I could not climb and help
fix the roof, or help put a new front door in, but I could lay down and paint the underneath of the
staircase and most of the walls in the house.
On a similar note, my boyfriend and I have a very special cat named Milo. He is very dear to us. One
day while maintenance was at my apartment, I went looking for him. I could not find him anywhere in
the apartment and proceeded to run outside in the middle of February barefoot screaming his name. I
went wild until my boyfriend was able to calm me down over the phone saying we would find him. I
made sure to ask neighbors if they had seen Milo, and begged my roommate to help me search. Later
we found him hiding in the basement, but reflecting upon this reminds me that I do have compassion
and care for those in need. In addition I was also reminded of the times I have been there for my
boyfriend when he has panic attacks. Like me when he gets stressed out it gets very overwhelming and
my empathetic tendencies are why I am there to help him get through the attacks. These stories
represent the soft side of me that I am most proud of.
The other important side of me is the dedicated and hard- working half. This jumps off the
independence train and segways perfectly into my working life. I was an Assistant Manager at a
Wendys in Rochester for a year. This brought along an abundance of challenges as well as learning
opportunities and I accredit it to why I want to pursue a career in business. I went on a leave of absence
from RIT to discover what I wanted from life and I am happy to say that I did just that. In my time at
Wendys I discovered that I am more persuasive and motivating than I thought I could be. One time I
personally reflect on was mentioned in a story by a co-worker. During one of my closing shifts the
dining room was fairly empty aside from a handful of college students that came in often. I had to take

Inside my Mind: A Study of Self

a phone call in the office as I was the only manager left in the store for the night. When I came out one
of my crew members informed me that there were cops inside looking for someone. To make a long
story short, a group of drug dealers had come inside and ordered food to hide from about seven cops
that were chasing them. I took control of the situation and ensured the guests in my dining room felt
and were safe as well as kept my employees from having any contact in the situation.
Work was always a place that I felt I had control. It took time getting used to since I was a nineteenyear- old college student and the boss of kids sixteen years old and adults forty years old. which is not
always normal. But it was the one place I had power and the ability to persuade my team top do the job
I wanted them to do. Working at Wendys showed me that I have the courage to do anything.
My mom was proud of me when I was younger for speaking in front of my church on our Youth
Days. Youth Day was when our youth group would give back to our church by running the serviceplaying music, carrying the offering plates, passing communion, and sharing sermons. About four of us
every year would speak and I often volunteered. It was nerve wracking but my Mom always admired
my spirit and confidence when I spoke. I touched the hearts of many in my congregation each year I
spoke and I also learned a little more about myself and my faith in the process. My courage and
dedication are a vital part of me that help me move forward in achieving my goals.
A big part of my dedication is never giving up, to take charge of my life and plow through
obstacles the best I can. The best way I know to do this is by being in charge and leading. When I was
younger I often sat in the background and followed what I was told to do. Now I take point and run the
situation. This is evident in two situations: my job at Wendys and my class projects. When I was in
high school I was on a team with two seniors while I was a sophomore, and the youngest in the class. I
took point in parts of the project to make sure things would get done and when we hit a severe bump in
the road when it came time to finishing our project I took charge of the team and figured out what to do
to finish. From there my ability to take the reins has only gotten stronger. I am now much more

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confident in taking a leadership role than I used to be.

A Study of What the Experts Tell Me
When I took the StrengthsQuest quiz I was pleasantly surprised with the results.
Communication, Individualization, Empathy, WOO (Winning others over), and Developer were my
results. I was expecting to get something in empathy individualization, and WOO. However I was not
so sure about communication or developer until after I read the descriptions. You like to explain, to
describe, to host, to speak in public, and to write. When I thought about it, the statement made sense.
The big running joke in my family is if I will ever be at a loss for words or if I were to stop talking then
I must be dead. I often interrupt people to finish their stories, or answer questions for my siblings
before they have the chance. I like to be heard, and while some could say its because I crave attention,
I think its because I like to be right. Meanwhile, on the developer aspect, the description made me
think of work. One of the biggest aspects of being a manager was providing feedback to my employees.
However I was taught that for every negative I should give three positives. We called it coaching. A
developer sees the potential in people and strives to bring that out in other people.
The MARS model talks indepth on motivation and what it means. Direction, persistence, and
intensity. While I like this view of motivation, I think one thing is missing: outside factors. Even when
you really want to get something done you dont always feel like you can. I think people are motivating
factors, and those people are developers. I have seen my employees have goals they didnt think they
could reach, until they were shown. For example, one of my crew members was in a similar situation to
me. Deshaun was just starting to apply to schools in the area and was accepted to MCC for computer
science. I was excited because I have a lot friends in that major at RIT. In the middle of his first
semester he wasnt sure he could do it and that he was destined to work in fast food his whole life. I
knew he was smart enough to move beyond that and make something of himself. I could feel his
potential oozing from his pores. I sat with him after a shift and showed him what he could be doing and

Inside my Mind: A Study of Self

that he was bright enough to do anything he wanted to. This is the part of motivation the MARS models
misses. The MARS model does touch on situational factors, but motivation is nothing without someone
to get you started. Developers are the people who get you on your feet and after doing this project, I am
happy to say I definitely agree that I am one of those people.
So Where Does This Lead Me?
After taking the time to properly think through this paper, I was left with the question of what
do I do with this information. I think the largest gain from a paper like this is the learning opportunity it
provided. Yes I learned about how other people view me and can say I better understand myself and
personality, but most importantly I can say that I learned that its okay to be me. I was very nervous
about this paper because I did not like the idea of writing about myself but due to taking the time to
explore myself and just try it, I realized I need embrace the strong points of my character and be proud
of them.
Understanding one's personality is vital to improvement. If you know your strengths you can
use them to put your best foot forward and succeed. In addition by knowing your strengths you can
pinpoint your weaknesses to improve upon and make into strengths. As I am starting a new job at
Wegmans I know I have the compassion to provide phenomenal customer service to anyone who phone
the call center I will be working. I also know that while I have some strengths in organization, it is
something I need to work on and can use this new opportunity to do so. As I move forward with me
degree to eventually have a management position hopefully in the engineering or technology sectors, I
can show and understanding of self by highlighting my strengths to employers and recognizing my
imperfections. By recognizing these imperfections, or weaknesses, I can prove to an employer that I
know how to balance them with my strengths to do the best work possible. My new understanding of
myself has taught me a great deal about who I am and the potential I contain.