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Reviewer: Zachary Foster

Read the authors comments above, and read the entire draft through once
without making any comments. Then reread the draft in order to answer the
following questions.

1.
Locate at least two key passages in the ethnography. Give an example of
something the writer does well. Suggest areas that could benefit from more
description of the subculture, more explanation of the thesis, or forms of
information that are needed to improve the passages.

Paragraph 3 Primary Research- You did well explaining what your experience was
like from the time you approached the court until you left. You stated several things
you learned on the court, some that may not be obvious to an outsider. I thought
your analysis of the two types of players was interesting. You not only explained
what they said and their actions, but you also explained what that meant to you.
-Unless you have extra notes from your observation period that may add value, I
don't see anything that needs to be added or changed in this paragraph.

Paragraph 4 Secondary Research- I thought it was great that you researched


different settings that pick up basketball takes place. You talked about NC and NY,
which have different surroundings and types of people. Like you said on your
review, the prison setting is unique. -One thing you may consider if you can find the
right place in this paragraph is to relate some of the things you found in your
secondary to your experience during your primary research. Maybe even explain
how you realized something after you secondary research that occurred during your
experience that you didn't realize initially.

2.
Find a section where the author uses primary research. Is the research used
appropriately? Is it clear how the research supports the point being made by the
author? Suggest areas where more primary research would be useful to help
improve the ethnography.

Paragraph 3- The main idea you are attempting to explain is backed up by your
analysis after you finished your observation. Like I said before, if you can find the
right place in your 4th paragraph and make it flow, relate back to your primary
research.

3.
Find a section where the author uses secondary research. Is the research
used appropriately? Is it clear how the research supports the point being made by
the author? Suggest areas where more secondary research would be useful to help
improve the ethnography.

Paragraph 4- Through your research, you discovered that different settings have
similarities and differences to why they decide to play pick up basketball. Maybe
restate something about the different settings in your conclusion to back of some
points.

4.
What overall idea does the ethnography convey to you? How does your
notion of the main idea compare to the authors? Explain how the author might
revise the essay to make the thesis clearer; point out specific ways to accomplish
this.

After reading, I understood what you were attempting to explain, everyone can play,
there are valuable things that can be learned, and why people play is different from
person to person.

5.

Suggest solutions to the problem(s) the author wanted you to focus on.

You mentioned that you repeated yourself, but I think it is alright. You repeated the
same one or two points in different paragraphs, but by doing so, it restates the main
idea and it backs up the information in those paragraphs. The only change you
would need to make is if you stated the same point more than once and
unnecessarily in the same paragraph, which I didn't see.

Important: When your reviewers return your peer review sheets, please pay close
attention to (but also evaluate) all comments and suggestions for revision. Please
seriously consider your peers' suggestions on how to improve your paper and
convey your main idea successfully.