Molina 1

Moises Molina
Writing 2

Zack De Piero 10/19/2015 10:23 AM

Comment [1]: Cool title. Make sure you
put it in caps.

14 October 2015
How many ways can you talk about pigskin?
Sunday, more commonly known as NFL SUNDAY for football fans, is filled with heartbreaks, cheers,
pizza, wings, face painting, you name it. But what do you do if you missed the game? There are many
ways one can get updated on the games because of their high popularity. So whether its to try and gain
some fantasy football points, learn about your team's standing, or some friendly trash talk there are many
sources one can go to update oneself on a game. ESPN, Sports Illustrated, and USA Today in their
articles for the Browns vs. Ravens game are effective because they use many of the previously used and
successful conventions as a guide to creating their articles

To start off, one of the most valued and credible sources out there for any sports including the
NFL is ESPN, which is meant to be the sports network of the world. So what makes ESPN so
effective in their game reviews? In one of the most entertaining games of Week 5, the Browns
win in overtime against the Baltimore Ravens. So in order to make the article stand out to readers
the author Pat McManamon chooses to title the post game article Josh McCowns record game
helps Browns beat Ravens in OT. Similarly, the Sports Illustrated article chose to include
overtime and titled it, Coons' FG in OT gives Browns 33-30 win over Ravens. If one thing one
was clear, each title found something unique in the game and found a way to put it in the title
whether its a record being broken, an injury, a ESPN top 10 play, or simply a blowout each title
found a way to catch the reader's eye. Both articles decides to include overtime in their title to
appeal to the readers just proves that conventions and genres develop because of their success in
the past (Dirk) and so with more than one source using overtime in the title it is fair to say this
convention has been successful in the past and so it is constantly repeated.

Zack De Piero 10/19/2015 10:24 AM

Comment [2]: Damn straight! (I think
you might need to do something different
with the "you name it" at the end of this
paragraph. I was anticipating items within
the series, and that's not exactly an item in
the same way that the rest were.)
Zack De Piero 10/19/2015 10:25 AM
Comment [3]: Gain, Learn, ____. You're
missing that last verb before "or some."
It's a stylistic tip called *parallelism,* which
we'll be discussing in class soon enough.
Zack De Piero 10/19/2015 10:28 AM
Comment [4]: I'd like you to parse this
out a bit more, Molina. What's effective,
exactly? And they each *as effective*?
Does audience play a role in this at all?
Also, laying down which specific
conventions you'll be analyzing *here, in
your thesis statement*, will help your
reader to read with more purpose later on.
I'll/we'll be on the lookout for the specifics
because you've previewed what's coming
up.

Zack De Piero 10/19/2015 10:23 AM

Comment [5]: Indent your paragraphs to
signal to your reader: here comes a new
idea, now follow me as I analyze it in this
paragraph.
Zack De Piero 10/19/2015 10:29 AM
Comment [6]: This phrase is throwing
me off a bit. Ditto for "in their articles" in
your thesis statement.
Sometimes less is more; try to "quicken
up" some of these sentences so your
reader can get through them easily on the
first try.

Zack De Piero 10/19/2015 10:29 AM

Comment [7]: Great!
Zack De Piero 10/19/2015 10:29 AM
Comment [8]: Steer clear of things in
academic writing (maybe even all writing!).
Its suuuuuuper vague. Academic writing
requires precision and specificitybe
direct and tell me exactly what youre
talking about.
Zack De Piero 10/19/2015 10:30 AM
Comment [9]: Awesome way to tie-in the
readings here, brother.

Molina 2
Another notable convention of a post game online article is the use of statistics of the game and
sometimes even previous games to analyze a player or teams performance. For example, the ESPN
article by McManamon declares, McCown has thrown for 300 yards in each of his past startsright
now he is the most dependable productive player on the Browns defense. Rather than simply stating that
McCown was the best player on the offense, which could be arguable, he decides to use some statistics
from not only this record breaking game but also the last three games. USA Today also chose to note

Zack De Piero 10/19/2015 10:22 AM

Comment [10]: You're slipping in and
out of font sizes here, Molina -- what's the
deal?
Zack De Piero 10/19/2015 10:31 AM
Comment [11]: When I see thiseven
before I start readingI think, Ahhhhhhh!
Attack of the page-long paragraph!
See if you like this metaphor:

include different statistics and records of the game to claim Josh McCown is having an unbelievable

Pretend your whole paper is a big, juicy

steak. Do you want your reader to enjoy
that steak in easy-to-chew, digestable
bites? Or do you want them to start
gnawing away at whole thing in one piece
(think: zombie).
Paragraphs are like those bites.

season and has been productive and dependent. The reason for the statistics in these games is so the

Give your reader your argument in little,

digestable, one-idea-at-a-time bits.

McCowns performance using statistics, albeit different ones, stating, McCown completed 36 of 51
passes with two touchdowns and broke the team record of 444 yards passing. Both sources chose to

readers could get a concrete example of how effective a team was. Also often the audience of SPORTS
articles are SPORTS loving people who engage in fantasy football teams, betting, and even friendly
smack talking so they may take statistics heavily into consideration when entering in these activities.
Overall ESPN did a great job of detailing the overview of the game and using it as a prediction for the
future but Sports Illustrated and USA Today used a much different approach that could be seen as more

Readers need to be able to see the

different parts/pieces/bites of the argument
that theyre chewing on.

Zack De Piero 10/19/2015 10:33 AM

Comment [12]: Is one writer's/source's
use of statistics more educated/advanced
than another's? Did one use analytics,
whereas the other one used something
super-simple like total yards? Does their
use of different stats suggest anything
about a different audience?

similar to the live game experience. The article would detail key plays that decided the game; for

Zack De Piero 10/19/2015 10:33 AM

Comment [13]: Why is this in caps?

example, A personal foul against Donte Whitner on a third-and-6 incompletion led to a 32-yard pass

Zack De Piero 10/19/2015 10:34 AM

Comment [14]: You're shifting gears
here a bit, so this is a potential opportunity
to start a new paragraph.

from Flacco to Forsett which was clearly important because essentially that penalty lost the Browns a
whole possession which could have definitely changed the outcome of the game. Sports Illustrated did
this with the key six plays that most people would agree would be game-changing penalties, plays, or
decisions. USA Today also used some of these key plays. In one of these, McCown connected with
Isaiah Crowell on a 22-yard touchdown pass with 3:03 remaining, and the 2-point conversion left the
Ravens needing a field goal to tie which showed the intensity of the final second of the game by
similarly by describing a late game touchdown by the Browns with three minutes left. The use of this
play-by-play description is a different convention used to describe the overview of the game that would

Zack De Piero 10/19/2015 10:34 AM

Comment [15]: Great! Good eyes!

Molina 3
definitely appeal to readers that want more than just end game statistics and more of as if I was
watching it on TV feel.

Sports Illustrated and USA Todays articles include specific game-changing plays to

Zack De Piero 10/19/2015 10:34 AM

Comment [16]: Yep.

make them effective, while ESPN chose not to include that convention and still remain a
reputable post game online review source. So how is it that ESPN stills remains reputable? Well,
genre is often misunderstood for form and writing in a particular genre was seen as simply a
matter of filling in the blanks. However, this is not true; each source has the freedom to choose
what conventions they want to use and could sometimes be choose to be unique. An example of
a unique convention SportsCenter had that the others did not would be the choice to put specific
sections in the articles titled, What it means, A reason to be excited, and Fantasy Watch.
As Kerry Dirk once said, two texts that might fit into the same genre might also look extremely
different and so the use of different style by SportsCenter was unique from the other two
sources showing how one source could still be unique and not simply fill in the blanks.
Instead, it continues to fit under the same genre while adding a touch of SportsCenter in its

Zack De Piero 10/19/2015 10:36 AM

Comment [17]: Do you think
incorporating this into your paper earlier
on -- like, say, right after the intro -- could
be a springboard for the rest of your
paper?

article, ultimately allowing it to stand out.

Essentially, we know differences exist, but for each source to be credible there needs to exist a variety of
conventions that fit the online post-game review genre in order for one to produce an effective review. A
great example of why studying genre and its conventions are important especially when producing
something is using movie genres. Lets say one is a huge fan of horror movies and so the new horror
movie Killing Pandas comes out and its labeled as horror but instead they show pandas in their daily
routine killing their prey to get some food. As a movie watcher one is disappointed because this horror
movie did not use any of the conventions of previous movies that youve grown to love and as a producer
you are disappointed because your piece was clearly ineffective due largely to the poor job of looking into
the horror movie genre. It is the same way with online post game reviews; it is important as a writer to

Zack De Piero 10/19/2015 10:35 AM

Comment [18]: Stick to your argument.
Stick to your topic. Stick to your sources.

Molina 4
produce an effective piece using previously effective characteristics (conventions) of a movie to produce
theirs. Within the genre online post game sports reviews the articles can be different in the way they
choose to write about the Sunday Night Football Game, Browns vs. Ravens, but they still (in their unique
Zack De Piero 10/19/2015 10:35 AM
Comment [19]: Why would you chose
*THIS* game? Both of these teams are
jokes.

way) effectively produce a great game review.

Works Cited
Ap. "Ravens Fall in OT 33-30 to Browns, Dropping to 1-4." USA Today. Gannett, 11 Oct. 2015.

Web. 15 Oct. 2015.

"Coons' FG in OT Gives Browns 33-30 Win over Ravens." SI.com. Sports Illustrated, 11 Oct. 20 2015.
Web. 13 Oct. 2015.

Molina 5
Dirk, Kerry. "Navigating Genres." Writing Spaces: Readings on Writing. By Charles Lowe and Pa
Pavel Zemliansky. Vol. 1. West Lafayette, IN: Parlor, 2010. N. pag. Print.
McManamon, Pat. "Josh McCown's Record Game Helps Browns Beat Ravens in OT." ESPN. ESPN
Internet Ventures, 11 Oct. 2015. Web. 11 Oct. 2015.
Did Not Meet

Met Expectations

Expectations

Exceeded
Expectations

Thesis Statement

X/X-

Use of Textual Evidence

from Genres
Use of Course Readings

X/X-

Analysis

X+

Organization/Structure

Attention to

Genre/Conventions and
Rhetorical Factors
Sentence-level Clarity,

X-

Mechanics, Flow
Molina,
Other Comments
I enjoyed reading this, and I get the feeling that you enjoyed
writing it. Win/win. To get this to the next level, check out

Molina 6

my comments. Please pay specific attention to

organizational/structural issues: Id like you to think about
how you can clearly *build* your argument, one piece at a
time, one paragraph (thats not a full page!) at a time.

You got this.

Z
8/10