Dear Matt Wilson,

This writing course has taught me how to become a better writer after writing and revising
multiple WPs this quarter. I learned how analysis my own writing objectively and pinpoint when
my writing is losing focus and specificity. I gained a lot of techniques in making my writing
concise and revising my work to sound more coherent. Before this course I feel I always has
issues guiding my analysis back to my argument without sounding wordy mechanically and
scattered-brained. But after this course, I know how to recognize what sentences are meaningless
and what phrases are actually useful to keep. I also learned how to embed my quotes into my
analysis better. I realize now I use to just attach a quote into my paragraphs back then and then
jump to my argument without connecting the use of the quote. Besides that, I understand how to
write better introduction such as including a hook and having an objective problem to transition
grabber to thesis. In high school, my English teachers every year would either expect different
types of introduction or completely didnt care.
Something I feel Id like to know more about is how to polish my subject and verb agreements
better. Even though I understand majority of the rules in that aspect, there are times I am
confused in knowing when to switch the tense or is it even necessary to. Other times I just
simply cant hear the incorrect grammar, so I need more help in fixing that.
I chose to revise WP1 and WP3. I knew I wanted to edit WP1 because my argument was mainly
explaining concepts we learned instead of actually applying the concepts to my argument. Now
that Ive been through the course, I know that I need to make my analysis more in depth and
have a stronger central argument for a better essay. I chose to edit WP3 because writing it wasnt
as confusing and scattered minded to write so I understand my argument a lot clearer. I just need
my writing to be shorter and concise while making my argument more straightforward and
obvious.
I exactly revised my WP1 by pretty much restarting my entire draft. I scratched my introduction
altogether and wrote a new one. The hook changed from me just introducing the concepts genre
and conventions to connecting Lady Gagas red meat costume to perception of others outfits. I
moved my explanation of what a convention and genre is to my first body paragraph and
changed my argument from society needing social structure to function to people using fashion
to control how people perceive them. I originally wanted to have three body paragraphs
explaining genre, conventions, and audience, but I realized it was nearly impossible to explain
genre without introducing conventions till the next paragraph because the two concepts are so
correlated.
For my WP3, I edited the essay by combining sentences to make better transition flow. I
embedded why Bogt cared to write that academic journal to set up the claim before I analyze it
and I shortened the amount of introduction hook. I tried to shorten my explanations of the
conventions in the body paragraph and focused on getting my analysis about audience and
argument down. I embedded my course reader help paragraph into my body paragraphs and used
Laura Carrolls arugment on rhetoric instead of Swales work on discourse community and
Bunns Read Like a Writer. I tried to transition my discussion of genre translation smoothly to
rhetoric example and analysis.

Some specific issues I addressed when I was polishing these drafts were my weak introduction in
my WP1 because it had no connection to my topic fashion and felt scattered jumping concepts
one after the other. I learn to embed my quotes better with my analysis instead of just shoving
into the paragraph for the sake of it. For my WP3, I made more room for analysis writer than
digressing on conventions. I polished on transition flow in sentences about indexes and stresses. I
changed my introduction to sound more cohesive.
The most helpful feedback Ive gotten when revising was that my quotes needed to be embedded
better because I felt like my teachers in high school never really taught me how to utilize quotes.
My teachers always assumed my past teachers already went over it so they didnt need to go over
it or that they dont tell you any feedback at all. So Im glad I understand theres a method to
using quotes for analysis. It helps me make smarter choices about what kind of quotes I want to
use.
What I liked most about my work in this portfolio was my ability to master writing good
argument in a concise manner. I always had a problem sounding really wordy or repetitive to get
to my main point because I get lost in the middle my own analysis. Now I feel like I have more
control and understanding of my own argument when Im writing.
I would still like to improve on identifying when my analysis is getting off topic or I have
irrelevant information to my main thesis. There are times when I have multiple good points to
make but its hard for me to eliminate all those thoughts and focus on the key thesis Im writing
about.
The work in this portfolio reflect what Ive learned this quarter by showing my improvements in
conciseness, transition, and argument. This portfolio has a lot more variety in writing that guides
the reader through my argument. My transitions are obvious and clear so the reader can pick up
the signals when Im changing topics or paragraphs.
Ive changed as a writer by understanding how read my work objectively without feeling
overwhelmed. Writing has become less stressful for me now because I was forced to write
intense high-level essays for straight ten weeks. It prepped me for the mentality I need to write
longer research papers in the future.
What I will take from this course as I approach new writing projects in the future is how to
identify what my professor or new audience wants. I still remember you explaining how this
course will teach us how to pinpoint every departments expectation in written work and to mold
our essay to fit that genre.
Sincerely,
Jasmine Lee