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MarianaGarcia
ProfessorJonBeadle
English113A
8December2015

ParentsInteractionwithChild
Nomatterwhatthegender,everychilddeservesthesameattentionwhenitcomesto
emotions.Parentsshouldbeawareoftheirresponsestheygiveachildwhenthechildwantsto
playorwearsomethingthatisconsideredtobefortheoppositesex.Achildisachild,andnot
everygirllikeswearingpinkorplaywithdollsandnoteveryboylikeswearingblueorplaywith
cars.Everychildisdifferentandjustbecausetheylikewearingorplayingwithacertaintoydoes
notmeanitwilldeterminethechildssexualorientation.
The
two
articles
FromWomen,Men,
andSocietyandNoWayMyBoysAreGoingToBeLikeThat:ParentsResponsesto
ChildrensNonconformityshareonecommonidea:Parentsfearof
their
childrennotbeingin
thesocialnorm.Theseauthorsmayaddresstheissuetocreateawarenessamongparents
and
to
otherreadersaswell.Theauthorsarguethateventhoughsocietytendstocategorizechildren
basedontheirgenders,parentsshouldnotfallunderthatsocialnormand
shouldinstead
treat
theirchildequally.Myparentsdidfallunderthatcategory,andevengotupsetwhenmybrother
andIdontfollowspecificgenderroles.

Parentsdonotgiveaboyoragirlthesamelabel.
AccordingtoanarticlecalledFrom
Women,Men,andSocietybyClaireRenzettiandDanielCurran,theauthorsaddresstheissue
onparentscategorizingtheirchildintospecificgenderroles.RenzettiandCurranmentionthat
researchersdiscoveredthatparentstreattheirchild
differently
dependingonwhatsexthechild

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is:
Parentsuseagreaternumberandvarietyofemotionswordswhentalkingwithdaughters
thansons.Theytalkmoreaboutsadnesswithdaughters,whereastheytalkmoreaboutanger
withsons...(RenzettiandCurran79)
.T
hisprovesthatparentsareusedtofollowingwithsocial
norms,andbelieveintreatingthechilddifferentlybasedonthechildsgender.Parentsbelieve
thatwomengetmoreemotionalthanmen.Theyalsobelievethatmentendtogetangrymore
thanwomen.
Therefore,parentscategorizetheirchilddependingonthechildsgender.

AccordingtoanotherarticlecalledNoWayMyBoysAreGoingtoBeLikeThat:
ParentsResponsestoChildrensGenderNonconformitybyEmilyW.Kane,theauthorswrites
aboutparentsconcernsandresponsestotheirchildwantingtodosomethingdifferentfromtheir
specifiedgenderroles.Thefactthattheconnectionsbetweengenderperformanceandsexual
orientationwasnotraisedfordaughters,andthatofhomosexualitywasnotspontaneously
mentionedbyparentsdaughterswhetherincommontogenderperformanceornot(Kane96),
althoughparentshavedifferentexpectationsfortheirchild,
thisshows
thatfor
girlscrossing
genderboundariesismorenormalthanitisforboys.
Botharticles
discuss
thewayparentsinteractwiththeirchildbasedonthechildsgender.
Thearticlesalsotalkabouthowtoysandclothesseemtohaveanimpactonthedifferent
treatmentgivenbasedongender.Toysforgirlsstillrevolvedaroundthethemesofdomesticity
andmotherhood,whiletoysforboysfocusedonactionandadventure.Aquickperusalofmost
contemporarytoycatalogsrevealsthatlittlehaschangedduringthe1990saswell(Renzettiand
Curran80)
.T
hisdemonstratesthatsocietygiveseverythingalabelincludingtoystospecify
genderroles.InKanesarticle,shewritesaboutsomenegativeresponsesgivenbyaparentin
regardsoftheirsoncrossinggenderboundaries.Hesaskedaboutwearinggirlclothesbefore,

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andIsaidno...Helikespink,andItrynottoencouragehimtolikepinkjustbecauseyouknow,
hesnotagirl...(Kane93),thisnegativeresponsegivenbyamothershowshowclothesand
colorhasanimpactinthewaygenderisviewed.
Theauthorswriteabouttheseissuestoinformreadersthatsocietyplaysahugerolein
howparentsinteractwiththeirchild.Forinstance,socialnormscauseparentstobesoafraidof
theirchildcrossinggenderboundaries.Socialnormsaffectthewayparentswanttheirchildto
behave,dress,andwhattheirchildcanplaywith.Parentsseesocialnormsasapartoflifeand
itsunusualtochangehowthingsaresupposetobe.Itisnotokayforparentstoshowdifferent
treatmentandgivedifferentresponsestotheirchildbasedontheirgender.
Childrencanbe
affectedlaterinlifebyfeelingliketheyrenotgoodenoughduetosocietysexpectations.This
limitsthewaychildrengettoexpressthemselves.
Childrenshouldntbejudgedordeniedthetoy
orclothestheywanttohave.Toysandclothesdonotdetermineachildssexualorientation.
Everychildhasdifferenttaste,anddespiteofthat,childrenshouldlovedandtreatedequally.
Almosteveryonehasexperiencedorseenhowpeoplearetreatedbasedontheirgender.
Theideaofparentsgivingtheirchildcertaingenderrolesappliestomyownlifeexperience.My
parentsalwayssaythatmybrothersandIreceivethesametreatment,howevertheiractionsand
wordssaysomethingdifferent.Growingup,InoticedthatmyparentstreatedmybrothersandI
differently.Mybrotherscouldonlyplaywithcars,actionfigures,oranythingthatwould
consideredforboys.IrememberonetimeIwasplayingwithmybrothersactionfiguresand
hedecidedtoplaywithme.However,insteadofgrabbingoneofhisactionfigures,mybrother
grabbedoneofmyBarbies.Atthetime,Iconsidereditnormalbecausewewerejustkidstrying
tohavefununtilmydadwalksin.Mydadgotmadatbothofus,howeverheshowedmoreanger

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towardsmybrother.
InKanesarticle,Kanetalksaboutthedifferentresponsesparentsgivetheir
childbasedontheirgender.MydadcouldhavereactedthesamewithmybrotherandI,instead
hechosetobetougheronmybrother.
Basedonthatexperience,Irealizedthattherearelabels
forspecificgenderroles.
AsoftodaymyparentsinteractionwithmybrothersandIarenotthesame.Thereare
timeswhenmyparentswillmakecommentssuchas,YoureagirlsoactlikeagirlbecauseI
dontwanttocookorclean.
IaskmyselftheircommentistrueandthenIrealizemyparentsare
wrong.
IgetupsetbecauseitshouldnotmatterifImagirl,aboycancookandcleanjustthe
same.IshouldnothavetoactlikeagirlbecauseIamagirl.Myparentsbelievewomenare
supposetogetmarried,havechildren,andbehousewives.
Myparentsopinionisdifferentfrom
whatIbelievewomenshoulddo.Ibelievebothwomenandmenshoulddowhattheywantto
doevenifitbreakssocialnorms.
SinceIamthefirstoneofmyfamilytogotocollege,theytend
togetworriedaboutmebeingonmyown.Insteadofaskingmeabouthowcollegeis,theyask
meDoyoucook?Doyouclean?Youresupposetodothatbecauseyoureagirl.Ibelieveitis
importanttolearnhowtodothat,buttheyneedtorealizethatcookingandcleaningwontbethe
onlythinginmyfuture.

Ivealsoheardmy
brothersgetcommentslikeYoureaboysoactlikeaboyaswell
whentheyreemotionalordontwanttoplayasport.Thosetypeofcommentscanaffect
someonebecausethenonestartstofeelthatoneissupposetoactacertainway.Mydadworries
aboutmylittlebrotherbehavingfeminine.Theresnosuchthingasbehavingfeminine,
everyonehasemotionsandhasdifferenttaste.Hedoesnothavetoplaysportsandbedominant
becausegenderrolesshouldnotbeappliedinthefirstplace.WhenItalktomyparentsaboutit,

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theydontexactlytellmethereasontheyreworried.However,Iassumeitsbecauseofreligion,
culture,andsurroundings.
IunderstandmyparentsarestrongChristians,butreligionshouldbe
beautifulandnotdiscriminate.Ialsocomprehendtheygrewupinaculturewheregenderroles
areapplied,butthatdoesnotmeanyouhavetofollowrules.
Parentsshouldunderstandachilddoesnothavetoperformacertaingenderrole.Alla
parenthastodoistreattheirchildthesameandnotcareaboutwhatsocietythinks.
Aparent
shouldgettoknowtheirchildbeforemakingassumptions.
Ifsocietyseesitaswrong,thena
parentshouldshowthelovetheyhavefortheirchildanddefendwhattheyredoing.

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WorksCited
Renzetti,Claire.,andCurran,Daniel.

F
romWomen,Men,andSociety

C
omposing
Gender
.
Boston,MA:LeasaBurton,2014.
pg.7684.
Kane,EmilyW.,
No
WayMyBoysAreGoingtoBeLike
That:
ParentsResponsesto

ChildrensGenderNonconformity
.

C
omposing
Gender
.
Boston,MA:LeasaBurton,2014.
pg.9197.