Colton Christensen

Tess Boone
10/11/15
Dance and Culture
Life History Interview
Clayton James Courtney primarily known as Cj is my interview subject. I asked him to
do this interview because of very different background. He was born and raised in Utah, he is
63, fit, redhead, Mormon, and he played three sports at the varsity level for Bingham High
School. Thats not what makes him different, what separates Cj is the fact that he is a
homosexual. This is why I chose him for my interview, in addition to that I he is a personal
friend that Ive known sense I was 10. We consulted a few times before having the interview. I
would describe the interview as a success, I learned several things that I didnt already know. I
was able to remove personal feelings and proceed as just an interviewer.
I started off the interview by asking simple questions that are of unimportance to this
paper so I will skip to the good stuff. I asked him how he felt about being homosexual;
uncomfortable initially, wasnt sure if it was a phase or if it was his actual sexual orientation. He
felt conflicted initially because of his religion, he felt like he knew for sure when he was about
14 but didnt tell anyone until he was 17. His response led me to inquire further in regards to his
religious background and how he handled that. He felt that it was very hard for him to personally
accept his sexual orientation because it was unacceptable in his religions eyes. A man should be
with a woman and thats all there is to it. Accepting that his sexual orientation conflicted with his

religious beliefs gave him great heartache. He doesnt openly communicate the fact that he is a
homosexual with his fellow churchgoers, he instead trusts very few with this knowledge.
I asked him who he told first about his sexual orientation: The first person he told was his
bishop, he felt very conflicted within himself and after he accepted that this is who he is that it
wasnt going to change anytime soon, or ever, he decided to speak with his bishop about it. I
followed up with asking how that went; it was very hard for him to admit it, when he finally did,
he was relieved by his bishops response. His bishop told him that god has created him this way,
that he understands its not a choice, he began to say its not his fault and that he shouldnt feel
guilty about his sexual orientation. Reflecting on that his experience he realizes now that he
doesnt feel guilty about his sexual orientation, he felt guilty about his religious views because
they wouldnt accept him for who he was, he felt guilty religiously and not because of his sexual
orientation. Some self-reflection on my part, I dont think I wouldve been able to handle that
type of inner conflict at that age. With my body going through puberty and learning more about
myself having that inner conflict wouldve truly changed who I am and how I feel, think, and
live my life today. It took an extreme amount of courage and bravery to admit it himself and to
his bishop who by all religious standpoints should have reacted much more negatively and far
less supportive.
As the interview went on I asked him how his parents reacted; He told me that he told his
mom first, she was supportive and understood and told him she will always love him no matter
who he is or who he loves. She provides an immense amount of support and love to him and he
cherishes it. His father on the other hand is a different story. His father is disapproving, he is a
military man and in his eyes and mind he is choosing to be homosexual and that is wrong. They
dont talk much anymore, his father has belittled him and harassed him about and because of his

sexual orientation. This has nearly severed the father and son relationship. I was deeply saddened
by this, I am very close to my father and couldnt imagine who Id be without him. It was hard
for me to keep my composure and body language so as to not influence my interviewee.
We moved on to how he feels about his privilege class; What irritates him the most is
that it matters, that he has to label himself as homosexual on many applications or forms. It
irritates him because he doesnt feel the need to separate himself because of his sexual
orientation. He agrees that matters in medical instances and situations that are similar, but far too
many forms and such ask for him to make that separation. He admits that he is not very
flamboyant or as he said openly, or overly gay he doesnt feel the need to socially distinguish
himself like that, but admits he has been treated and harassed for being homosexual so he is more
cautious and aware to not broadcast his sexual orientation. He doesnt feel like he hides but
doesnt necessarily admit it. Reflecting on this, I couldnt imagine being harassed or not being
able to openly be myself, it makes me appreciate the fact that I can be myself openly, it also
makes me appreciate others who despite their differences can be themselves as well.
I asked him specifically about any experiences that he has had living in specifically Utah;
He was surprised by the size of the homosexual or lesbian culture in Salt Lake City, there is a
fantastic scene and even straight people are supportive and come and party and treat them like
normal people, it makes him feel extremely comfortable and confident. He has also had negative
experiences within even just as far as his neighborhood, upon learning that he is homosexual
many of his neighbors wont speak with him, or when they do its very short and brief and their
uncomfortableness is clearly visible. An instance that clearly sticks out in his mind is while he
was hanging out with his friend, that friends father told him to leave and that homosexuals arent
welcome in his home.

I learned a lot, not just about how hard it is to go through the experiences he was
forced to go through but also how lucky I am to have to background, upbringing, and privileges
that I have in my life. I learned a lot about one of my close friends that I didnt necessarily think
about or care to ask about. Going through this interview and learning as much as I did about my
friend and about the experiences and background that comes with being homosexual. Listening
to him tell me about how hard it was to be able to share his sexual orientation with others really
opened my eyes to the difficulties that come along with being in that culture. Hearing him tell me
about how he told his parents and how they both feel very differently about it and how it has
strained his family really makes me appreciate how close I am able to be with my family and
more specifically my father. Having a strained and almost nonexistent relationship with my
father would drastically change my life and who I am today. I learned a lot about how being in a
non-privileged group can be really frustrating, it opened my eyes that its not always as easy as I
thought it was to truly be yourself. It makes me appreciate the people who despite their
differences, they can truly be themselves despite the pressure to want to be accepted and fit into
the social norms. This assignment has greatly expanded my understanding of the world, it
showed me that it can be truly hard for people to be who they are because people dont want to
accept them for their differences. It makes me greatly appreciate people who are courageous
enough to be themselves despite their differences. It made me want to be a more understanding
and caring person. It made me want to appreciate the differences between me and everyone else.
It greatly challenged my assumption that it always easy to truly be yourself, and to do what is
going to make you happy, I realize now that it easier for me to do these things because of my
privilege class, but when you are in a non-privilege class it is much more difficult. My
perception of this culture has changed, I now have a deeper appreciation for this culture, due to

the fact that the sheer amount of courage alone to be themselves is tremendous not to mention
how strong they must be to not bend to the peer pressure to want to change or be fake. What
surprised me the most is how the parents can feel differently and how that can drive a wedge
between a family, it shocks me that a family would be willing to fall apart because of their sons
sexual orientation.

Works Cited
1. Courtney, Clayton. Life History Interview. Personal interview. 8 Oct. 2015.