Finding a Way Out of Hell

She trembled and went on, as I was running down the driveway I heard him get into his car. He
had warned me not to leave. As I felt the car hit my body, and as I flew into the barbed wire
fence, I willed God to let this be the end. Tears blurred my vision as I tried to take in what
Debbie was reliving for the class. This was the first time she had recounted all the details of her
abuse to a group outside of a courtroom. She had shared stories of horrific abuse. Parts of her
body were forever scarred, including her left arm which was partially paralyzed and would never
recover.
He got out of his car and dragged me into an irrigation ditch. He left me there to die.
The next morning Debbie awoke to officers trying to remove her from his property. He had
called the police.
I knew they wouldnt believe my story. He was more credible. I looked crazy, he was
clean and calm. He told them I was drunk. I didnt try to explain myself. The police had never
helped me before. I was already living in hell. Debbie had already once been wrongly convicted
and charged with domestic violence due to fighting back in another relationship after months of
abuse, and she was wrongly charged again that morning. In the last few months her lawyers and
advocates had worked tirelessly to help turn the case around, and implicate this ex-boyfriend as
the abuser and not the victim.
The last time I saw him was in court, a month ago. He was found not guilty. He had a
new girlfriend. She looked scared. After her account was finished, a sullen silence emanated
from the room. The gruesome details were settling in our minds, accompanied with the unknown.

The words, I dont need to tell you that part, had been used during the worst pieces of Debbies
story. After a long hush, someone said,
How isnt he in prison? Information starting spewing from Debbies case worker about
laws, evidence, testimony, prior charges, and stigmas about domestic violence victims. She
explained that because most domestic violence incidents are never reported, there was no paper
trail or documentation of the abuse.
You cant build a case with no evidence, her case worker explained, there are no prior
charges, or police reports. Often times when women finally choose to leave or report their
partners, they have kept it secret for so long that the abuser can deny any claims they make.
Often times the abusers are the ones to finally call the police as an act of manipulation,
she continued. The police officers show up to a calm man, and a frantic woman. She looks
crazy, wont be taken seriously, and is often charged as the one causing the disturbance. My
head, spinning with too much information, heard the most important part: He will not be
convicted for these crimes.
This is not uncommon. According to a 2014 study published in the Psychology of
Violence Journal, out of a representative sample of 517 cases, only 10 cases resulted in the
perpetrator going to jail (about 2%) (Hamby, Finkelhor, & Turner, 2014). Of these cases about 1
in 5 incidents reported to police did not receive any in-person investigation by law enforcement,
[and] arrest is unlikely when reports are not investigated in person by officers (Hamby et al.,
2014). Family violence, compared to other types of violence, have the lowest conviction rate.

Chart 1. Women are often jailed unfairly for domestic violence charges (Ultraviolet).

Debbie was shortly thereafter put into protective custody in a domestic violence shelter
because her ex-boyfriend continued to stalk and threaten her. She is now keeping documentation
and hopes to receive justice in the future. After battling with depression and suicidal thoughts for
many months, she is now seeing a therapist, has a good job, got in contact with her three
daughters, and is re-building her life. She no longer calls herself a victim, but will smile and
say I am a survivor.

Authors Note
In this story, names have been changed for privacy purposes. I could not include pictures
of Debbie or the Utah County shelter she stayed in. To see real domestic violence survivors and
read their stories, visit http://www.thehotline.org/about-us/share-your-story/.