Hopelessly Senseless

Its all so real now. People talk about going to college for months like a fog looming in
the future and then it just hits them like a ton of bricks. New friends, new school, new home.
Luckily for me, I met some of my good friends in the first few days. We already named ourselves
the quad because we all want to room together next year. We have a good mix of personalities
in the group. Theres Kelly, the athletic yet shy one, Natalie, the pretty yet genuine one, Monica,
the outspoken yet down to earth one, and me, the cunning yet dumb one.
So here I stand inside an 8 by 10 cinderblock room with a white floor that is so
obnoxiously bright it makes my head hurt. How am I supposed to live in this prison cell for 9
months with another person? I walk outside into the hall to take in some fresh air, the door
closing behind me. I breathe. I can do this. I turn to go back inside and I jiggle the handle which
ricochets back at me without opening the door. As I grasp it again, I am suddenly teleported back
int0 the basement guest bedroom in my house when I was 10 years old.
The door wont open. I guess Ill give it another try. As my hands shakily approach the
knob, I pull with all my might. Nothing. My heart begins to beat faster. How can this be
happening to me? I bang against the door. I punched the door again, this time harder than Ali
knockout Foreman. Still no budge. My heart starts pounding faster, fast enough where it is the
only thing I can hear in my head. I shriek for my mother at the top of my lungs, so loudly that my
voice cracks. I know she wont be able to hear me but nothing will stop me.
Hopelessly giving up on gracefully exciting through the door, my eyes begin to dart
around the room for another route of escape. Then, they fall upon the answer, the home phone
birched upon the dresser. In desperation, I lunge at it, hoping to call another part of my house and
be saved from this perfect nightmare.

Nothing, I hear nothing on the other end.

The floor begins to wobble underneath me and the walls are spinning. Blackness is closing in all
around me. Ill pass out any minute. Then I see it. It was right in front of me the whole time. The
window. I sprint towards it as the walls cave in on me. I rip off the screen and fling open the
window. I crawl out onto the stone back patio and look out triumphantly at the wilderness in my
backyard. I survived, I proclaim exasperatedly.
Now that I am free and relieved, new thoughts rush into my head. My fear switches to anger.
How could my mother lock me in a room and leave me like that?
I storm up the deck stairs and burst through the door into the laundry room.
With my face contorted I looked like a raving maniac. The painter in my house turns and stares
at me blankly. I cant believe you, I snarl at my mother. How could you lock me in the guest
bedroom?
She bursts out laughing. Lock you in the bed room? Erin, the lock is on the inside. Stuttering
slightly, I reply, but the lock was jammed; it wasnt working. Then I tried the phone and it didnt
work either.
Did you wait for the dial tone she inquires. My eyes grow wide, what dial tone?
You know that beeping that happens a few seconds after you pick up the phone? Thats the dial
tone.
Uhhh no, I didnt even know that existed.
So if the door wouldnt open and the phone wasnt working, howd you get outside?
I climbed out the window, I reply casually.

My mom completely lost it. After several minutes of her laughing hysterically in my face and me
just standing there, she manages to stifle out at least you were resourceful. Resourceful is one
word for it, I think quietly to myself.
As the years went by, these kind of incidences kept happening. I had streak of 3 vacations
where I nearly was flattened by a car because I didnt look both ways before I crossed the street.
I famously asked my mom if she was born an Asian because of a black and white portrait of her
as a toddler where her eyes were squinty and her hair was black. I memorably referred to myself
as a mathmagician in an advertising video for my school. I even asked my boyfriend what state
Ole Miss was in. While most people roll their eyes and laugh at my blunders, I came to embrace
them.
As I hear a girl shouting to make sure to grab her favorite pink and white scarf, I am
startled back to reality. I smile at these memories while I patiently sit outside my dorm room,
waiting for my roommate to get back. After a few minutes, I realize I should probably just find
the RA and ask if she would so kindly unlock the door for me. As Im walking back to my room
with the RA by my side, I run into my friends. Uh oh Erin what happened? Someone already in
trouble? they tease. Not yet. I just locked myself out of my room I reply coolly. They burst
out laughing, this will be a long semester. Maybe next time you should think to grab your key
before you leave so you wouldnt be locked out. Whats the fun in that, I smile, then I dont
have an excuse to spend the night on your futon.