Hermiz 1

Jordan Hermiz
Dr. Kate Birdsall
WRA140: 001
November 16, 2015
REVISION
The Hardships of Single Parenthood
The perfect American family is one that lives in a house with a white
picket fence, has two parents, and kids who graduate high school and
college. This is far from reality in the United States today. There are about
24,689,000 children in the United States living in single parent homes (Children in Single-Parent
Families). Being a part of a single parent home means that these 24,689,000 children do not live
the American dream, they are a part of a different culture. It is a culture that struggles on a daily
basis to meet some of the everyday needs. Most of these struggles come from the lack of
education, which leads to a lack of income; creating an endless cycle. There are always
exceptions, but for the most part these families face challenges unlike the rest. Being a part of a
single parent home is not only a struggle for the parent of the household, but those struggles
impact the childrens daily life as well as their future.
Child support is a major issue when dealing with single parent homes. This is normally a
common issue between people who have a child, but never married. Child support gives the
parent caring for the child extra money which will greatly improve the childs future. Child
support is normally not paid because one cannot afford to pay. The parent not receiving child
support can take the matter to court, but a lot of times that will cost more than the child support
is worth because of the time, stress, and money put into a case. Marnie Kunz from Livestrong

Hermiz 2
said, From data from the National Longitudinal Survey of Youth, that for every $100 of child
support mothers receive, their children's standardized test scores increase by 1/8 to 7/10 of a
point (Kunz 2). In 2009 only 41.2% of single parents were receiving the child support they were
entitled to. This child support that they received averaged 62.6% of the families income (Grall
1). Child support is very helpful to a single parent because that money can be saved for college
or other important things in a childs life. This money and these test scores can add up to a better
life for children in single parent homes across the country. Having better test scores could be the
difference between a child going to college and dropping out of high school. Having that college
education will help them get a job and have a bright future. It is all a cycle where one thing
depends on another. Most parents want their children to be as successful as possible in order to
live a better life than they did as a child. Having this child support can be a main factor in the
success of a child. Paying any amount of child support can have a major positive affect on a
childs life. Although this it is not just single mothers who do not receive the child support they
are supposed to, single fathers can be stuck in the same situation. It is the duty as a parent to
provide child support to increase the quality of life offered to their child.
Along with lack of child support, financial struggles with in the household are also
causing children to drop out of school sooner and receive a poor education. This can be because
of the children wanting to help out their parent by dropping out and getting a job, or because they
attend a school that does not value academics as much as they should. This lack of value in
education leads to a childs attendance lacking with out any consequences. Whatever the reason
may be, it is not good for the future of society if children are not graduating from high school.
Darin R. Featherstone from the Jordan School District said, Most students who come from
homes run by only one parent have a much lower attendance rate at school. (Featherstone) Even

Hermiz 3
past high school, the amount of children from single parent homes that attend college is small.
Finances do play a role in how many of these children attend college, but a college education is
becoming more and more necessary in todays competitive world. Drew DeSilver said, Among
that group, workers with at least a bachelors degree had median annual earnings of $45,500,
well over the medians for people with only some college ($30,000) or a high-school diploma
($28,000)(DeSilver). In the same article DeSilver also talks about how it is getting harder for
college graduates to find jobs right out of college. If a young adult with a college degree
struggles to find a job, then a high school dropout is basically hopeless. Some of the jobs you
will see a high school drop out having is in retail, fast food restaurant, or a gas station. These
jobs may be fine to support some type of life, but they do not provide enough income to support
a whole entire family. As technology and society in general become more advanced so do the
jobs. Having a college education is one of the main factors in obtaining one of these elite jobs
that will lead a successful life. Having these children not graduating from any form of college is
most likely contributing to the endless cycle of children not graduating from school partly
because of lack of income.
Many children from single parent homes live in unsafe neighborhoods because it is all
their parents can afford. This should not be a major issue, but it has become one. Living in an
unsafe neighborhood can influence children to partake in many criminal acts such as violence,
drugs, and stealing. Although these acts are performed everyday by people, it is only getting
worse for those who come from single parent homes. Young children see these acts performed
almost everyday, which makes them think it is an okay thing to do because they are exposed to it
so often. Kristin Ketteringham a Yahoo contributor said, Children from a single-parent
household account for 72% of teenage murderers, 60% percent of people who commit rape

Hermiz 4
crimes and are eleven times more likely to exhibit violent behavior (Ketteringham 1). These
may all not be directly related to the fact that they grew up with only one parent, but there
definitely is a strong correlation between these two things. There is also a difference between the
parenting techniques of mothers and fathers; which may also play a role in a childs behavior.
Along with the financial issues, these violent acts could be stemming from a lack of guidance or
support from their parents. When there are not two parents there to tell children right from wrong
throughout their childhood, they may begin to believe that they can do whatever they want and
nothing bad will happen. As a single parent it is the parents job to look after their children and try
to make these astonishing numbers that Ketteringham talks about go down. A decrease in these
numbers would be saving many lives. Another reason why a decrease in these crime
rates would be very helpful is because many prisons are becoming
overcrowded which is raising the taxes of all people. The Center on Budget
and Policy Priorities said, Prisons, juvenile justice programs, and parole and
other corrections programs make up about 4 percent of state budgets, or $49
billion. If the number of prisoners were to decrease so would the nations taxes even if it is just
a small amount. Regardless of where these children come from, they need to learn right from
wrong and understand that there are consequences for their actions.
Both the lack of education and the increase in violent crimes among children with single
parents can impact the childs future in many ways. The lack of education forces the children to
live in the same type of areas they may have grown up in, working a minimum wage job because
that is all they are qualified for, and barely being able to provide for their family just like how
they grew up. The crimes can have the children ending up in jail, which will force them to most
likely have no job because of their criminal record. These things matter because these children

Hermiz 5
could have amazing opportunities to strive in society if they had the chance to. One of the
children affected by the influence of a single parent could be the person who finds a cure to
cancer, becomes the president of the United States, or invents something that changes how
society runs as a whole. It matters because these children are our future and without them society
cannot run smoothly.
The difference between being raised by a single mother or father can also affect how a
child grows up. Mothers are much more caring and comforting, while fathers like to lay down
the law and make sure the child gets things done. Kristin Ketteringham from Yahoo said, Single
fathers often do not communicate as well with their children as is seen with mothers. This leads
to children of single-father households being more likely to use marijuana and to have tried other
illicit drugs, to have been drunk three or more times, and to have had sex at an earlier age
(Ketteringham 2). This is because fathers do not let their children have as much freedom as
people raised by their mothers which pushes them to want to try things they are not allowed to be
doing. This does not mean that being raised by a single father is a terrible things, it just shows
that the differences in parenting can affect the actions of the child. The different approaches
come from the differences between male and female behavior. Having one of these lacking
allows for an unbalance, which is what makes a childs behavior more extreme at times.
Aside from financial issues affecting the kids; the act of divorce, loss of a parent, or
longing for a parent can also cause psychological issues. These issues can be the reason why
children act out so often at school and at home. Depending on when the loss of one parent
actually occurs, the reactions of the children are normally different. Michael E Lamb from
Psychology Press said, Very young children may be emotionally affected by the separation of
their parents, but the behavioral responses are less likely to have long-term

Hermiz 6
consequences(Lamb). Lamb is saying that as a young child you may act out by not eating their
vegetables or not cleaning their room, while when the kids are older they may act out in ways
that could hurt their future. For example, dropping out of school, getting arrested, or partaking in
drug use. Having a child act out in extreme ways can put themselves and others in danger. These
behaviors are not only irrational decisions, they can also be violent crimes. Keeping these
behaviors under control is important for the childs future as well as for the well being of the
people around them. Throughout the transition process a child needs to know that there is and
always will be at least on parent there to have their back and help them whenever they may need
it. Having the support of someone such as a parent or relative can keep a child from acting out in
such ways. Overall the stress of only having one parent is hard for the children as well and
support is important throughout their life.
Depression is also an issue among kids living in single parent homes. One of the main
sources of this depression is that the child feels unwanted or abandoned by the parent who left
their family. The depression can lead the children to act out in ways they normally would not.
The children also face a lot of stress when living in a single parent home because they want to
help out as much as possible to make their parents life a little easier. Paul R Amato says, This
results in feelings of emotional distress, a reduced capacity to function in school, work, and
family roles, and an increase in physiological indicators of arousal (Amato 10). The stress
comes from the fact that everyday is somewhat of a struggle because of the lack of finances
available to the family. Some children feel responsible for this issue so they drop out of school or
stop going as often to work and help provide for their family. If this stress becomes too much it
will lead to depression, which is an issue among many teens in todays society. Depression only
makes life living in a single parent home harder than it already is. Besides the depression, stress

Hermiz 7
can also cause anxiety. When I interviewed Ms. Hanna Harrigan, she told me that she felt like
she needed to be the perfect child for her divorced parents and try to make their lives easier by
getting perfect grades, never getting in trouble, and being independent (Harrigan). This attempt
to be the perfect child caused Hanna to have bad anxiety that she ultimately had to go on
medicine for. This is not a bad thing, but it shows how the stress can truly affect a child
psychologically, sometimes for the rest of their lives.
Although the stress may cause depression, children learn a lot from having to live in a
single parent home. A child in a single parent home must be more responsible than other children
because they do not have two people constantly around whenever they need something. They
must do things on their own because they realize that their parent is working hard to provide
them with all of the necessitates. Marnie Kunz said, Children in single-parent families may
exhibit strong responsibility skills, as they are often called upon to help out more with family
chores and tasks(Kunz 2). It is good for these children to learn early on that life will not always
be handed to you on a silver platter and you must work for the things you want. These
responsibilities are something that all children eventually learn, but children who live in single
parent homes learn them a lot sooner. The benefit of learning these skills sooner is that the child
coming from a single parent home will have more experience in the work force. Also they will
have more of a determination to get things done for them and not rely on others. Overall
developing the skill of responsibility at a younger age is never a bad thing.
Go back to that perfect American family that was talked about in the beginning. Do you
realize that most children in the United States are not part of this type of family? Almost half of
the children come from a family who struggles on a daily basis. Most of these struggles are
talked about in this paper. Although some children may beat the system and become something

Hermiz 8
unlike their parent, a lot of them will not beat this system. A lot of the children will end up just
like their own parent and raise children just like themselves. Overall people should be aware of
the hardships that come with being a child from a single parent home and appreciate when these
children acquire great achievements.

Hermiz 9
Work Cited
Amato, Paul R. "The Impact of Family Formation Change on the Cognitive, Social, and
Emotional Well-being of the Next Generation." Marriage and Child
Wellbeing 15.2 (2005). Web. 19 Oct. 2015.
"Children in Single-Parent Families." Kids Count Data. N.p., 2014. Web. 5 Nov. 2015.
Desilver, Drew. "5 Facts About Today's College Graduates." PewResearch Center. N.p., 30 May
2014. Web. 3 Nov. 2015.
Featherstone, Darin R., Bert P. Cundick, and Larry C. Jensen. "Differences in
School Behavior and Achievement between Children from Intact,
Reconstituted, and Single-Parent Families." Adolescence 27.105 (1992):
1-12. ProQuest. Web. 21 Oct. 2015.
Gelles, Richard J. "Child Abuse and Violence in Single-Parent Families: Parent absence and
Economic Deprivation." American Orthopsychiatric Association 59.3 (1989): 492-500.
Google. Web. 19 Oct. 2015.
Grall, Timmothy s. "Custodial Mothers and Fathers and Their Child Support: 2009." Cencus.
N.p., Dec. 2011. Web. 5 Nov. 2015.
Harrigan, Hanna. Personal Interview. October 17, 2015
Ketteringham, Kristin. "Single Parent Households- How Does it Affect the
Children?." Yahoo!. N.p., 6 July 2007. Web. 19 Oct. 2015.

Hermiz 10
Kunz, Marnie. "The Effects of a Single Parent Homes on a Child's Behavior."
Livestrong.com. N.p., 15 Apr. 2015. Google. Web. 20 Oct. 2015.
Lamb, Michael E. Parenting and Child Development in Nontraditional Families. New York:
Psychology Press, 2014. 89-100. Web. 19 Oct. 2015.
"One-Parent Households Double Risk of Childhood Sexual Abuse." Penn Medicine. N.p., 13
Mar. 2007. Google. Web. 19 Oct. 2015.
"Policy Basics: Where Do Our State Tax Dollars Go?." Center on Budget and Policy Priorities.
N.p., Apr. 2015. Web. 8 Dec. 2015.

Hermiz 11

One Fight for Life

My name is Marcus. I am a 35 year-old male who just got out of jail for
a crime I committed when I was only 17. I murdered on of my best friends. I
would like to say it was not intentional, but I easily could have stopped
myself. The worst part is I didnt want to stop myself.
It all started when we were on the basketball court one say and Mike
make me mad. He wasnt hitting his shots and causing us to lose to some
other kids on the block that we should have been beating. I started a small
fight with him, but then things escalated quickly. I kept punching him and
couldnt stop. It felt good to get all of my anger and stress from home out at
one time. To this day I still do not know what came over me, why I turned
into this monster that could hurt someone without a second thought.
Although I would never blame this action on my life at home, I believe
it played a role in what I did to Mike. I come from a single parent home. My
mother has been the only one supporting my three siblings and I since I
could remember. I am the oldest of the four children. None of us have the
same father, but all of us grew up not knowing our father. I always tried to be
a father figure for my siblings to look up to because I was the only stable
man in their lives. I began to lack attendance at school and get into some
bad crowds because I wanted my family to have everything they needed to

Hermiz 12
be happy and I would do anything to make sure that happened. Eventually I
dropped out of high school at age 16 because I was working to help support
the family as much as possible.
Life was never a smooth road for my family and I. There were always
random men coming around with my mother, but none were permanent
fixtures in our lives. It was confusing as a young kid to see all of these
father like figures come around for a couple weeks, but then leave and
never return. As I grew older I began to understood that part of the reason
my mother would hang around these men was because she needed their
help to get her through the week or month. Any little bit helped in our
situation.
The back and forth court cases and long dragged out investigation put
an even bigger toll on my family which is the last thing I ever wanted for
them. There are no words to describe the guilt I felt at that very moment and
the guilt I still feel to this day. I would never want to do that to anyone ever
again or put two very innocent families through that court process. It is
something that no parent should ever have to experience.
My family situation was very rocky, but I would never blame my mother
or siblings for my actions. Sitting in prison for almost 20 years really allows a
person to think about what they have done, constantly. After getting in a
couple prison fights, I came to the conclusion very quickly that my actions
may have been influenced by my situation at home, but I should have known
how to control those actions and been able to tell what was too much and

Hermiz 13
when I put people in danger. While in prison I felt alone, abandoned, and
guilty.
The future affects of this traumatizing event do not stop at the fact
that I lost almost 20 years of my life living in a jail cell. The affects are the
psychological guilt I feel on a daily basis. Waking up knowing that multiple
people most likely want you dead for what you did to someone they love is
one of the worst feelings to experience. After getting out of prison, the
struggles continued. I was rejected by basically every company I applied to. I
did not even get and interview with most of them because murdering
someone isnt a quality that many employers are looking for. Eventually I got
a job working at a local Dollar Tree. It was a minimum wage job where I
organized the shelves and cleaned. I cannot complain because any job in my
situation is something you need to be thankful for. Even though I am out of
prison now the feelings of guilt and loneliness are still the ones that take
over my life. I come home to a gross apartment with no one in it every night
after a long day of barely talking to anyone. The loneliness has been a part of
me since my father left me as a child.
I have learned so much from this whole experience, but if I am every
lucky enough to have a family I will definitely raise them differently than how
I was raised. From experience I am well aware that a father figure is needed
in every childs life. Having two parents is something that a lot of people take
for granted, but it is very important so the endless cycle of criminals and
high school drop outs can end sooner rather than later.

Hermiz 14
I want to be the man who helps other children become better than I
ever was. It is not only a dream of mine, but it is something that I plan on
devoting the rest of my life too as a small payback for all of the pain I have
caused to so many different people in this world.

-Marcus