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Does the title grab your interest? Does it suggest the essays content? If there is not a title yet, can you offer a
good suggestion? I had an idea of what the essay was about from the title, but my attention was not grabbed. I
think that she can think of something better.
Introduction
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Is the introduction interesting? Yes, I like how she asks a few questions to grab readers attention.
Does the introduction effectively introduce the essays topic? Yes
Highlight the claim/thesis statement.
Is the thesis the LAST SENTENCE in the introduction? Yes
Does the thesis statement identify the topic and state a position? Yes
Can you offer any suggestions for improving the introduction? No, brief but good intro.
Body Paragraphs
1. Underline the topic sentence in each body paragraph.
2. To what extent does the analysis of the evidence convince you? Why? I am very convinced, because she has lots
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of good points.
What points need further development? She just gives short debunks for her argument, maybe go into detail
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better.
Are there points that the author did not consider but should in order to strengthen the argument? She covered all
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2009 was the hottest years, she should use some more evidence.
What words/phrases does the writer use to connect ideas/reasons? Also, besides, furthermore, in addition,
similarly, in other words, for example, for instance, although, but, despite the fact that, however, as a result,
since, so, therefore, admittedly, consequently, yet, first, second, finally? She doesnt really use any of these, but
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Opposing Viewpoints
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Does the essay address at least two opposing viewpoints? Yes, she addresses a lot of opposing arguments.
Highlight the counterarguments. (Already highlighted)
Does the author adequately refute each opposing viewpoint? Yes.
Conclusion
1.
Does the conclusion provide closure and offer an interesting final insight that helps you to understand the
significance of the experience? How could the writer make it more effective? There wasnt a conclusion, I
dont know if the essay just didnt upload correctly or if it got cut off.
Overall
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Having read the rest of the draft, did you find that the introduction gave you a good idea of what the author
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actually will address in the rest of the paper? If not, what is the main point that the author seems to be making?
I knew exactly what she was going to talk about.
Are there any points of the argument that don't seem to fit - where the author seems to go off on a tangent? Are
there any points that don't really seem relevant to the discussion at hand? No, all points are really effective at
convincing the reader.
3.
What single change would make the most improvement in this essay? Maybe add a little more detail to support
your argument.
5.
Look at each subsequent quote/summary used in the paper. Is the quote relevant/appropriate to the topic? Did
the author frame the quote or summary properly with a quotation sandwich (1. A statement that introduces the
author and identifies the title, 2. The quote itself, 3. An explanation of the quotes meaning and relevance to the
authors topic?) No.
Does the writer use the second person pronoun you? If so, highlight it. Nope.
2.
Does the author use phrases such as I think and/or I believe? If so, draw a line through the phrase to
determine if it is necessary. Nope.
3.
MLA Guidelines
Heading Yes
4. How near to completion is this draft? I would add some more detail and a conclusion. Also, some citations and a
works cited page.