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The author of this essay is __________________Erica Cline_____________________.

Online Peer Review of Essay #1

Directions: First, read the paper silently to yourself once. Then, answer the questions below.
When answering the following questions, be thoughtful, clear, and helpful. Use complete sentences and
specific examples. On the writers document, turn on the Track Changes feature (ReviewTrack
Changes): In this way, the author can see what changes you think should be made. Feel free to make
comments directly on the writers draft (New CommentClickType your constructive feedback).

Organization and Introduction


a. Is this draft organized in a standard pattern: an introduction, a body with supporting points
presented in a logical order, and a concluding section that summarizes and analyzes the
overall significance of the topic? Note on the paper where the organization seems to be
The draft is organized in standard pattern.

Introduction: The first paragraph(s) should prepare the reader for the topic presented in the paper.
a. Does the introduction begin broadly and narrow to the main idea of the essay?
Yes. I liked the beginning scenario and how it was narrowed down to the main idea.
b. Look specifically at the authors Thesis Statement:
1. Is the thesis towards the end of the introduction? Yes.
2. Is the thesis narrow and well-defined? Yes.
3. Is the thesis explicit or implicit? If its explicit, is the thesis too direct? Its explicit but
not too direct.
c. At any point in the essay, do you feel lost or confused? No.
d. After reading the whole paper, explain whether you think the introduction effectively prepares
the reader for the discussion or not. I enjoyed the introduction very much and effectively
prepared the reader for the discussion.

Body Paragraphs

Do the body paragraphs support the thesis? Yes


Is there information that does not seem relevant to the stated thesis/purpose? No.


Does one point/section logically lead to the next point? Are transitions used effectively? Yes.


Are there any paragraphs that should be either deleted or moved to another section of the paper? No. It
was all in chronological order.


Does the concluding section sum upwithout being repetitivethe major points/conclusions of the
paper? Yes it does.
After reading the entire essay, are the following required elements included?
Clear thesis Yes.
Engaging Introduction Yes.
Does the conclusion refer to the introduction? Yes.

Use of Vivid Details and a Significant Point


Are there any unnecessary unnecessary explanations that would be better told through
showing rather than telling? No.

2. What does the theme, lesson, or insight seem to be? Important lessons and skills are taught
and most remembered when it is by a friend or a person that means a lot to someone.

3. Does the insight seem too obvious or too general? No.

Style, Mechanics, and MLA Guidelines


Are there any words that are clich, used too often, or meaningless?
Not that I noticed.


Does the writer use the second person pronoun you? If so, circle it.
Not that I saw.


Does the author use phrases such as I think and/or I believe? If so, draw a line through the phrase
to determine if it is necessary.
None that seemed unnecessary.


MLA Guidelines
Heading Yes.
1 margins Yes.

Double-spaced throughout Yes

Page numbers in upper righthand corner Yes

5. How near to completion is this draft? Very near completion.