Amajorityofpeoplelearnthroughexperience.

Bytryingnewthingsortakingdifferentpathsa
personstartstolearnandunderstandtheirlikesanddislikes.Duetoculturalrulesorboundaries,some
peoplearerestrictedfrombehavinginthewaytheywantto.Theyarescrutinizedforbehavinginaway
thattheculturedoesntapproveoforfollow.Byreactinginsuchawaytoapersonwhotriedtobe
differentorstandoutwetakeawayfromtheiridentityandtrytoshapethemintoapersonthattheyre
not.Mostpeopleareinfluencedbytheirfamiliesandpeers.Familyplaysabigroleinapersonslife
becausetheyraiseyouandyouwanttodoyourbestsoyoucanmakethemproud.Unfortunatelydue
tocertaintraditionalvalues,whatyourparentsexpectfromyouisnotalwayswhatyouwanttodo.
Peersarealsoveryinfluentialbecausetheyhaveabigimpactonyoursociallife.Moststudentswantto
fitinsotheycanfeelacceptance.Manypeoplefeelpressuredbecausetheywanttomeetothers
expectationsoftheminordertofeelacceptedbytheculture.Iftheydontmeetotherpeople's
expectationsofthemtheycanbebulliedorlabeledasanoutcast.Althoughpeoplefacethisriskitis
importanttobroadenyourexperienceinsteadofjustfollowingthepaththatsomeonehaslaidoutfor
youbecauseifyoumakeyourowndecisionsinlifeyouwilldevelopcharacteranddiscoveryour
identity.
Inatraditionalspanishculturewomenarefacedwithboundariesandrestrictionsbecauseof
theirgender.Typicallymenaresupposedtobetheworkersandprovidersforthefamilywhilewomen
takecareofthehouseworkandraisethechildren.HispanicwriterSandraCisneroslivedinthistypeof
traditionalhousehold.AccordingtoCisneros,Beingonlyadaughterformyfathermeantmydestiny
wouldleadmetobecomesomeone'swife(75)Thisisanideasharedbymosttraditionalparents.
Sandracontinuedtogotoschooldespiteherfather'sideathatherpurposeofgoingtocollegewasto
findagoodhusband.Shecontinuedheracademiccareerdespitetheoutstandinglackofsupportfrom

herfamily.Inawayshefeltseperatedfromherfamily,Henevershowedinterestinherwritingbecause
hedidntfinditsignificantandthathurtherfeelingsShewashurtbecauseofthelackofacknoledgement
andrespectherfatherhadforher.Sheevenmentions,IwantedmyfathertounderstandwhatitwasI
wasscribbling,tointroducemeasMyonlydaughter,thewriternotasThisismyonlydaughter.she
teaches.(76)AlthoughCisnerosfeltbadbecauseofthewayshewastreatedshestilldecidedto
continuehereducationandbecomeasuccessfulwriterbecauseitwassomethingthatsheloved.She
couldhaveeasilyfulfilledherfamily'swishesandgottenmarried.Butshechosetofollowherownpath
anddecidedtosharehertalent.

Theactoffollowingourpassionallowsustogainskillsinareaswere
alreadystronginandpushesustobecomebetter,whichcanthenbesharedwiththeworld.(Netzel).
Herchoicetodowhatshefeltwasbestforherwasasteppingstoneultimatelyleadingtoalifethat
madeherhappy.
AnzalduagrewupinthemiddleoftheAmericanandMexicanculture.Shewasoftencriticized
bybothculturesbecausetheyeachwantedhertoidentifywithjustone.Sheevenrecallsthatall
Chicanostudentswererequiredtotaketwospeechclasses.Theirpurpose:togetridofouraccents.(
23)Evenherschooltriedtotakeawayapieceofherpersonalityinordertofulfilltheirideaofaperfect
student.InregardstoherMexicancultureshefoundherselfbeingcalledapochabyherownfamily
becauseshedidn'tspeakspanishproperly.AsayoungchildAnzalduawasalsolecturedbyherparents
becauseaccordingtotheirculture,Serhabladorawastobeagossipandaliar,totalktomuch.
Wellbredgirlsdon'tanswerback.(23)Itisapparentthatherfamilyalsowantedtoshapewhoshe
wasinordertokeeptheirtraditionalvaluesalive.LoyaltyplaysabigfactorinMexicanculture.Itis
expectedofyoutobeloyaltoyourfamily.ResearchershavediscoveredthatintheMexicanculture,
Loyaltyinacollectivistcultureisparamount,andoverridesmostothersocietalrulesandregulations.

(Hofstede).Ifshewasfoundloyaltoherfamilyshefacedgreatshame.
Anzalduawasgiventheoption
tochooseherAmericanorMexicanculturebutshedecidedthatshewantedtospeakChicanoSpanish.
Becausewespeakwithtonguesoffireweareculturallycrucified.Racially,culturallyandlinguistically
somoshuerfanoswespeakanorphantongue(24)AnzalduasimilartoCisneroschoseherownpath
anddecidedtoidentifyherselfwithanewlanguageevenifsheknewherAmericanandMexicanculture
wouldn'tbeasaccepting.UntilItakeprideinmylanguage,Icannottakeprideinmyself.(24)
Tomehighschoolalwaysseemlikearoutine.IalwayssatdownanddidwhatIwastold
becausethatwastheeasiestwaytogetthroughtheday.Everyonefollowedthesameroutinesoitwas
rarewhenanyonewouldactuallydosomethingdifferent.Wegotsousedtothisroutinethatweallknew
that'sthat'sjusthowthingsweresupposedtobe.Ifyoubrokeoutofthatroutinepeoplelookedatyou
differentlyifyouasktoomanyquestionsanddidextrawellyouwereakissassifyoudidn'tdoyour
workorjustdidn'tunderstandthematerialyouwerelabeledaseitherlazyorinsomecasesaslow
learner.thesearejustsomeofthefewwaysmypeerswouldbullyeachotherinordertogetbackthat
routine.Thesocietyfrownsuponanyonewhobehavesdifferently.Becauseofthisstudentswerenot
abletoaskquestionsorexpressthemselvestheyhadtosuppresstheircuriosity.Ilovedlearningso
lovinginthistypeofroutinewasdisappointing.WhenIwouldholduptheclassbecauseIhadmore
questionseveryonewouldgivemeadirtylook.Evenafterclassmypeerswouldbullymeandtriedto
getmetostayquiet.Myoptionswereeithergiveintothestudentsdemandsorcontinuetoaskmy
questions.Itwasdifficulttochoosebecauseeveryonemyagewantstobeaccepted.Forteens,
acceptancebyyourpeersissomethingthatfeelsnecessaryforagoodlife.Evenprofessionalssuchas
TinaKretschmerFacultyofBehavioralandSocialSciencesaccountsthat,Oneofthemostimportant
humanneedsinlifeistheneedtobelong,whichmotivatespeopletogainenduring,positiverelationships

withsignificantothers(
Kretschmer)
IrememberedthatIwasn'tgoingtoseethispersonnextyear.So
changingwhoIwasandgivingintotheirdemandsjustsotheycanlikemeseemedlikeadumbidea.
AlthoughsomeofmypeersnolongeracceptedmeItookthatriskanddecidedmyfuturewasmore
importantthantheiropinions.
Inconclusionitisimportanttomakedecisionsforourfuturebasedonwhatapersonwantsand
notwhatotherswantforthem.Eventhoughtherecanbeharshconsequencesitisnecessarytobreak
awayfromtraditioninordertoliveamoremeaningfullife.Whenpeoplelivebyothersstandardsthey
arenotbeingtruetothemselves.Theyarelivingtheirlivestofillsomeoneselsesneeds.Asyougrowup
youaremeanttomakeyourowndecisionssoyoucanmakemistakesandlearnfromthemordiscover
yourlikesanddislikes.Youaremeanttobuildcharacteranddevelopyouruniqueidentity.Ifyoucan't
makeyourowndecisionsyouaregivingupyourself.